I should have skeletons in my closet,
but they've yet been stripped of their flesh,
and I've let them loose in this small town
for a game of hide 'n' seek.

She returned a set of my pajamas, unwashed,
her intoxicating scent lingering on hooks in my closet
where her aroma constructs an illusion.

I bury my face in them,
feeling my damp cheeks pressed into her *******,
reaching down below where my hand grasps her posterior
where it takes a firm shape in the loose garments.

I dig into the scent until I go crazy;
I tell myself I'll wash them next week.

I should have skeletons in my closet,
but she's taken it on the road,
in a small town parading it down empty streets
where I can see it clearly,

her oblong sunglasses darkly obfuscating
what I perceive to be her pejorative gaze,
over a narrow ivory face,
sandy blonde hair flowing in the wind.

(I still feel, yes, that smooth pale face cupped within my trembling hands, that sandy hair tangled around my fingers reaching up the back of her neck, pressing her face more towards mine)

I look for the shallow dent
in her ubiquitous red minute two-door seater
on the passenger side, where she was gently T-*****
by a student driver practicing their three-point turn,
and the smiley-face lemon-scented air freshener
dangling from her rear-view mirror,
having lost its freshness years ago.

(I still see, yes, us in that hardware store parking lot,
in the closed evening hour,
sitting cramped in the passenger seat,
her knees on either side of me,
our shirts off and skin warm and sweaty, nervous,
trembling, trembling, lips aching and souls yearning--
where were we headed to again?)

I look for it so intensely,
I forgot my goal was to never see it again.

          Young love looking for little things in a small town.

For years I play this game of hide 'n' seek,
and part of me should realize
that at some point she got up from her hiding spot
and moved on with her life.

(and no, I won't look at her engagement photos,
nor the photos of her newborn child,
nor the Happy Anniversaries and the congratulatory sentiments--
I can see them without social media's derision)

I still scan the streets
like a vulture over roadkill,
yet I thought I was the one
engraved into the grainy streets
where she commutes over my remains.

I should have skeletons in my closet,
but I let them walk out of my life
so I can chase them all over town.

Every heart desires peace,
some seek it in sacred places
and some in solitude
for some it lies in dark nights
for some in morning sun
some look for it in scribbled words
and some in melodious rhythms
some search for it in water depths
and some in empty skies
Some find it by helping others
while some in risking lives
some find it in the blink of eye
and some keep yearning till the day they die !!

Coming from nobody,
I was but an afraid little boy.

Ambition or desire meant nothing to me,
And like a mouse I hid in my little corner.

Anger and torment embedded,
While lashing out at the weakest things.

In my youth I was an afraid little boy,
But my deepest desire was to express.

When you express your thoughts,
You can free yourself from torment.

With words meld with your purest thoughts,
and exposing yourself help break away from individual personal chain,

Truly those who can look at their weakness,
They can break away from their fears,
And loving one self is the first step in healing.

My empty ambition became thirsty,
And then the emptiness became desire.

I dared ambition to consume me,
And desire to take me with vengence.
No longer that little boy afraid.

See I was never free however,
Because being Korean meant family first,
But if the king was a fool?

What is love?
Better yet what is living?

Is it true vile, greedy, arrogant people live on,
But those innocence is the very first casualty?

I could not be afraid little boy no longer,
I must become a man with his dreams,
And hunger to want everything.

When I moved from Minnesota to Kentucky,
I knew no one, and had any clear vision.

I just knew if I restarted fresh from where I stood, life would open up for my conquest to reach my goals.

So here I stand in my kingdom, with fortress in developement,
For now I am the Lord of my initial dream.

I must resist the urge
To erase every word
I ever wrote of you,
For they bring me pain;
I must remind myself now
As I reread those lines
Of hope, of love, of loss
That they tell a story of
What could've been and
What was never meant to be.
I shall hold onto those lines
For they serve as a record
Of what I am better off
Leaving behind as I go on
And what I am searching for
On this new path that I begin.

Everyone has a dark side
A secret that they keep
Everyone has a dark side
One they hide so deep
Everyone has a dark side
So child you must seek
Cuz one day you just might reap
The Demons that they keep