i. when completely alone i know what i am.
no, my brain is a liar, is a lie, is a – turn it off.

ii. i run out: on the wildering of my selves.
i trim them down; less to disguise, less to carry.

iii. please take one with you on your way out.
there will not be a chase.

As kids we're told to follow our dreams
But that is now reversed, so it seems
During the day I live a great life
But when I close my eyes i worry I won't survive the night
An internal struggle with the demons I keep quiet
I bounce from dream to dream like getting beat by a riot
I see you, them, blood, and fire
Running from it all is my one desire
They follow close with screams filling the air
I think why does my mind keep bringing me here
If only I could make my dreams stop
Just climb a tower and throw them from the top
Every night it never seems to fail
I drift off and then my mind starts to bail
Heartbeat racing, bed drenched of sweat
I never thought I'd fear the sunset
One more step to another chase
They say that this will pass, that it's all a phase
I just have to let my mind calm down
But its hard to do that if there is no reason to be found
Maybe one day it will be okay
Until then I close my eyes and hope to wake up the next day

she would need that, wouldn't she?
to slow down
I never slow down
when I ski,
I don't turn
I rocket down the slopes
snow trailing in the frozen air behind me
cold fear in my heart
as I pick up speed
but I don't slow down
I never slow down
I like to live fast
hard
in the moment
one punch after another
breathe breathe breathe
**** air into my lungs until it hurts and
leaves no room for second guessing
for anxiety to creep in
I run to keep up with life
feet pounding on the pavement
mimicking my heartbeat
and I don't slow down
I never slow down
I'm not so good at continued commitments
I'd rather just do everything all at once
hours of work
I could have easily done gradually
crammed all at once
and I don't think before I speak
I say what's on my mind
though I often regret it
and I don't slow down
I never slow down
because if I slowed down
then life
would catch up

Oh calamity
Were you always this big of a tragedy
Selfishly running blindly down life
Wanting to hurt yourself
But hurting everyone around you instead

Oh sore eyes
Do you betray me now
I see my one love running again
Away from her problems,
The only way she knows how,
And away from *me

i am watching life and
it's running so fast and

it goes up toward the
pure white stars and
the brown dirt

the blue sky

the black night

but i'm melting
burning
freezing

my mind is too tired to sleep
but it's too drunk to run.

every thought ive ever had
every action ive ever taken
takes physical form
as a glass shard
it cuts my thumb
and it stings
the crimson blood is washed away
by the lack of regard
from a doctor
every glass shard is saved
kept in a box
in the corner of a room
it sits there
staring at me
every day
oh
how i wish
to set this box on fire
to run away
and buy a new box
but still it sits
and stares

I once wrote about one sad Jellyfish,
that disappeared trying to find her place,
looking back now I wonder how
she swam so far away,
when she was always safe.

I’m tired of living this tired way
I’m tired of being too tired to play
I’m tired of alway being the man that’s grey
I’m tired of not saying what I need to say
I’m tired of having to survive another day
I’m tired of always being the one to pay
I’m tired of being just okay, okay

I’m tired of these long nights
I’m tired of these tiring non stop flights
I’m tired of the scribbles and weak writes
I’m tired of fighting other people’s fights
I’m tired of climbing these never ending heights
I’m tired of not making the wrongs rights
I’m tired of these same sights


I’m tired of being nowhere on my own
I’m tired of being a voice on the end of the phone
I’m tired to the bone
I’m tired of being the great unknown
I’m tired of being the last to be shown
I’m tired of sitting on this dark throne
I’m tired of only catching what I’m thrown
I’m tired of carrying this tomb stone
I’m tired of hearing it groan and moan

I’m tired and I’m running alone
I’m tired, but I’m running for home

Running through the wood
The girl is running
In hot pursuit is the enemy
The enemy behind her-
She darts to the left
Almost tripping
She needs to get away
Away from the enemy
Suddenly
She leaps forward
A river in front of her-
She plunges
Icy waters **** her in
She reaches the other side
Only just
Has she escaped,
Escaped the enemy?
Exhausted
She turns round,
Looking down into the water
She sees a reflection
Terrified
Drenched
She runs again
For she has seen once more
The enemy.

At night I chase dreams
As I'm curled up in bed
My arms are illustrated
With the stories of my life

My friends are always there
My family is very blurry
But the people who I love
Are crystal clear
And I know they care

I'm running across the desert
With a sandstorm chasing me
While I run after my dream
It's almost out of reach
I'm running on grasslands
Over mountains and hills
Lush fields of flowers and green
Through the rainy stormy weather
Past the sunshine and summer
Thought the snow and the winter

I won't stop chasing my dreams
They won't stop running away
But I will catch them some day
Even if no one believes I can