A dream—
Perhaps it was nothing but a dream, though how real.
How real the gardens of childhood seemed
As they appeared to me, a sea of flowers:
Rubies and emeralds, with golden leaves.
And beyond the gates I saw you, ethereal arms outstretched,
As if to embrace me,
So full of life, it was difficult, though I remembered—
I remembered you were no longer that glittering garden.
Your leaves and petals were cold and black…
Vessels for forbidden memories.

Remembering you never hurt me;
Forgetting you does.

First the small details begin to fade
The exact shade of brown in his eyes
The slight rasp in his voice
The warmth of his arms wrapping around you

Second the small moments begin to fade
The smell of smoke tickling your nose
as you sit and roast marshmallows over the fire
The smack of rubber hitting your foot
as you kick the ball to the other side of the field
The pain in your cheeks
as you laugh until you cry because of his ridiculous joke

Lastly the important memories begin to fade
The dizzy feeling of confusion
when he tells you he’s sick and has to stay in the hospital
The burning feeling of anger
when he can’t go back to school like everyone else
The choking feeling of sadness
when he no longer can breathe even with the help of doctors

Eventually all you are left with are
a few foggy, rose-tinted flashes
of childhood memories
a never ending ache in your chest
fueled by unanswerable questions
and an hollowness in your soul
from the absence of your childhood best friend

At the fjord
a body floats on a board
how it got there
no one knows

At seaside
you pushed against the tide
I didn't send you off
but you came back

I begged for you
at least stay true
keep away
your harmful attitude

There you are
washed ashore from afar
How did you get here
and why did you come?

It took me so many beaches
and seas just to reach this
a part of my own
somewhere to calm

You will never know
with what I fought and how
I can't make you more
than a in-the-back-of-my-head thought

I kneel down next to you
I don't know if you sacrificed and what you've been through
I'm feeling reluctant to cut you off
but it's too late for other choices

I smile, I'm sorry
I won't forget, don't worry
I take a rock
and end it then and there

Cleaning out old files in my mind.
Sweeping away rot and decay,
To make way for new mess.
This endless paradox of insanity.

Pushing the chair away,
Waiting for someone new to fill your space.
This table was once full,
A family of people.
Now it's just me. My poems,
Yet somehow it feels crowded.

An empty room with no air to breathe,
Suffocated in my minds inabilities.
Indecisiveness, breaking news!
"Hey look, everyone. This kid is insane."
In truth I don't know what I am,
Who I'll be or where I'm heading...

Terrified of behind left behind by my mind,
Stuck in a moment that happened years ago,
Clawing with every cigarette he smokes and bottle he drinks.
But the climb is never easy with whiskey stained hands and ash covered feet.

So long ago, the soldiers fell,
A raging war we cannot tell.
In our hearts, they each will dwell,
The poppies will tell us that all is well.

Fighting, hurting, to reach this day,
For what is now, we thank and pray.
For laughing children, happy and gay,
In memories from us, they will always lay.

So for this, we wear a single red flower,
That show they died for what's rightfully ours.
How they lost their numbers, hour by hour,
Their loyalty was, indeed, a great power.

So long ago, the soldiers fell,
A raging war we cannot tell.
In our hearts, they each will dwell,
The poppies will tell us that all is well.

Why can't I remember?
I'm blocking it, why can't I just-

Who hur-

Where did it-

Why would they-



Sorry, what were we talking about?

Dark waves crash against a nearby rock,
as I sit and watch the salt litter every inch.
Small droplets find their way to my skin,
and soon paint patterns across my canvas.
One that has not been blank for so long --

instead,
this is not the first time.

My miles of skin crave for your touch,
but you are gone.
I cannot bring myself to forget
how your eyes used to trail my body.

We’d sit by that little waterfall and wait
for the mist to carry its way to us,
leaving us wanting more.

As we sat in our little patch of green,
we would count the stars.
The faint feeling of your finger,
finding its way to my hand --

and a face that never leaves my head.
A nose strong and slightly crooked,
like the tree branches creating a canopy
of leaves above --
hiding us from the moon’s light
and the shadows of the night.

And lips,
moulding perfectly with mine --

like two lone puzzle pieces,
finally finding their home,
amongst the jagged ones
surrounding them.
A time so perfect,
that flowed so nicely --

that I long for again someday,
like the waves in autumn,
striking this rock beside
me.