I feel so much pain from everything
I’ve lost all my friends
I can’t stand to be around my family
My past haunts me
My future ages me
My being disgusts me
My life has no point
All this pain could have been avoided if only I hadn’t of gone downstairs
If only I kept the pills down
If only
If only, then I would be happy
I’d be free
I would no longer be alone and in pain
The pain and the loneliness is killing me
It will **** me eventually

Tears in my eyes
That won't fall
Heart that's being ripped apart
But won't tear
Body that's shaking
And won't still
Stuck at the breaking point
Of everything
The point that hurts the most
The point after a long struggle
And before the relief
There is no relief for me
My tears won't fall
And my heart won't give
And my body won't stop shaking
There's no relief for me

“If you can find the problem in your life,
Then you can cut it out.”
But what if my problem is me?
What if everything that I'm trying to run away from
Is myself?
What can I do?
I can't escape it no matter how hard I try.
I can't cut out myself
Because my problem has consumed me
It is me.

She loved
him more
than he
could ever
love her.
She knew
she had
to let go,
so he
could
finally be
happy with
the one he
deeply and
truly loved.
To lift
the burden
that she
was, off
his shoulders.

I feel like I can't speak
I want to just yell, shout, and scream
But I can't

I want to be productive
Play the piano and just exhale something inspired and creative
But I can't

I have a desire to feel anything else
To smile and laugh sounds terrific
But I can't

Because I am a prisoner to my depression
It has chained me to this bed
As much as I want to get up, the shackles just chafe my skin

My skin has become so dry I just want some type of moisture
Longing for the sweet hydration of relief
The relief of joy

When will this end?
I want to be release
But I can't find the key

I would gladly shatter this glass.
Release me from this tension,
Take this weight off my heart.
Gladly smash it against a stone,
A wall, a brick, anything.
I must,
I must,
I must.
But my fingers,
My fingers, they're latched
Around this glass.
Oh, why must they taunt me?
I would gladly throw this glass;
Release my anger.
Watch it shatter, watch it break,
Into a million shards,
Of utter relief.
My hand holds it tight,
My arm as stiff as ever,
Clutching onto this glass,
This glass that will break me for sure.
Oh why can I not break this glass?
I must.
I must.
I can't.

Farewell sweetheart,

I closed the door without a sound.
Teardrops fell to the ground.

You loved me softly, you filled me with grace.
But I can't live this lie just to save face.

I don't feel joy, I can't sense pain.
If only you knew what was going on in my brain.

Life without you once seemed impossible, and now it is the reality I face.
I'll never forget the moments we had, how you made me blush in lace.

The train is leaving the station and I'm going away.
There is no point in hoping I'll stay.

I look around and feel like a stranger here, there's not enough room in your heart.
We both deserve a fresh start.

I won't wake you, my feet gently cross the floor.
Our story is over, I can't do this anymore.

So goodbye my sweet, these memories will last. Until the next time, I'll remember you and briefly gaze in the past.