They say it is religion,
They say it's history,
They say it's science,
For me it's a mystery,

They say it's honesty,
They say it's law,
They say it's witnessing,
I'm confused by it all,

The truth,
A universal yet complicated story,
The truth,
What we fight for each and every day,
The truth,
What is it...

The truth here is,
We all are in hopes of searching for that truth,
The truth of our exisistance,
The truth to our core purpose,
Our truth....
The truth.

Tomorrow I may never die,
writhe in the loops of time
like catching cold endlessly
over so many lifetimes

But the place I sat,
eyes, a waterfall
of suddenly gratitude
towards existence
for its too trivial
for it to have any purpose
other than to exist.

Eyes fluttering spasms of throbs,
shedding some unknown impressions,
long held in the eye of the mind
suddenly vanishing in the air,
I was born anew in shifted time.

for I have seen,
     my word is death.
my word in my mind
     creates my life,
and in my life is death,
    so my word is death.

there's so much of it,
so many versions of this
  word.

a word written, spoken,
        thought...
and it is death.
       over and over,
       it is death.

many deaths,
      one death,
      over and over
      by one word.

but what word is it?
      what word that creates life,
      and therefore death?

because this one death,
this death I die,
      over and over,
      by this word,
it is killing me.

it smothers my life,
      my love my heart.

now if only it was
     this word,
a word of love,
      would that it would create
      only love,
      but hate would follow
      in it's stead.

and so it is with all
     these words,
      joy and sorrow,
      hope and fear
      charity and greed.

and so thus it is
       that my word is life
       and it was death
       because in both
       all things are
       over, and over.

and my word was death.

Depression is an addiction
A saddists representation
Of what is a fascination
You want love without pain
But you end up with pain and no love
No this isn't freedom you don't end it with a white dove.
You're happy but you're fighting that feeling
To rip your skin till its tingling
And you know your okay
But the pain could return any day
And you long for that certain kind of sadness
That energy you get from all the badness
And your mother said no
But your heart said don’t let go
And you’re fighting a war inside your head
And the place to find rest isn’t your bed
You prey, you pray
You let go of the fray
But you don’t fall

God is that you? Am I dead? Is it true?
Why child don’t you see? I sent my son to save thee.
You’re not dead. Not even near.
I’ve come to take away all your fear.
Oh God I don’t deserve this.
This heavenly abyss.
I’ve done wrong for all to long.
I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve to be up above.
Child be at peace. Your sin is yet to cease.
You are human are you not?
Or have you forgot?
But my mercy is abundant
And you’ve yet to pass your judgement
Child I will give you what you seek
If you may ask me, if you’re not too meek.
Father, forgive me, all I have is yours
It may not be much but I’m down on all fours.
Child I forgive you, but this is your cue
Go out and spread my word
My beautiful song bird

That first time he touched me, I could have screamed,
Demanding to know where he has been, or if fate forgot about our destiny, temporarily…
Because in that moment his hands were all I needed
and I had needed them for so very long, that affection… provided direction, for a soul who was wandering lost for what felt like eternity