She doesn’t try
Doesn’t have to
I try
Maybe too hard-
        “Notice me”
        “Look at me”
        “I’m funny”
        “I’m pretty”
        “I’m ****”
Maybe I’m wrong-
I don’t deserve you
Not like she does-
        “She’s funnier”
        “She’s prettier”
        “She’s sexier”
But I have something-
She doesn’t have
        “I’m more broken”

Hey boy,
Do you notice me when I stare
at your ***** brown hair?
Please turn the other way,
so you don't hear me say
"I like the boy with the ***** brown hair."

Hey mom,
Maybe one day he'll see me
With his brilliant brown eyes gleaming
And he'll turn the other way
So I don't hear him say
"I like the girl who is dreamy."

Hey dad,
I think you'd approve
If he'd just make a move
Just please don't turn away
If you ever hear him say
"I want to marry her, I do."

Hey boy,
These are just dreams
They aren't as they seem
But I'll keep on waiting
While you keep on dating
And hope I'll turn away
and hear you quietly say
"Hey girl,
Do you notice when I stare
at your ***** blonde hair? "

Ashes rise to the sky
Like fireflies
Reach a height then disappear
Such a short, bright life.


-t.s.

Do you ever look at the power lines
Where the birds perch in flock?
Where they chatter their matters,
They sit and talk but we just hear squawks.
They don't mind we don't know, it's fine.
They're speaking in codes
And nobody notices as they go.

Do you ever listen to the deaf?
Speaking with hands, I'll admit,
I don't know the signs, that's ignorant I.
I want to know the thoughts in their heads
The barriers we build only take time
To grind down into rubble
But I'm afraid most want a self-indulgent bubble
And I'm no better, I guess.

Do you ever see a human
Who looks and speaks like you
He looks like he's having hard times
With a lot spinning up his mind
So you pass by, look to the other side,
And nevermind the bloke,
Turn to your friend after and make a joke.
And nobody notices as he goes.

You saw a blueberry
On the corner of the sidewalk
Something you shouldn't have noticed
But unexpectedly took interest
In a blueberry
On the sidewalk

With each passing day
You'd see that blueberry
And with each passing day
You looked forward to it
To a blueberry
On the sidewalk

But eventually, the leaves will fall
And the snow will come
People will move on
And nothing will be left
Nothing at all
Not even a blueberry
On the sidewalk

Things I cannot believe
My idiocy
Things I shall never achieve
O, my idiocy
Things I shall never know
O, my idiocy…

Hatred and anger
Burning flames
Things I wish not to remember
Yet never
Never will I forget…

Who am I?
I am no one
An idiot of course
A fool, so naive
A child indeed
Unorganized, I am doomed
This curse, I assumed
Would leave me, but never…

Shall I ever be released?
O never, o never,
Shall I ever be set free?
O no, o never,
Shall I see the light of day…

Do you see me?
Do you hear me?
The sorrow and woe
The sorrow and woe…

If they ever saw me
For me
Would they leave me?
Or would they feel me?
Would they lift me up,
Above the clouds,
Where they flux so freely
As a bird in flight
Across the vastness
That is my mind

Do you hear me?
Do you see me?
No, o never,
Never it goes…

O, if you could see it
O, if you could hear it
The broken melody,
The bleeding heart,
The depths it reaches to…

O never, o never,
Shall I forgive myself
O never, o never
Shall I forgive myself…

- Jay M
October 8th, 2019

where should I hide
my love.

while I'm dying for
you to notice me,

you said that it
better to be kept
inside

rather ruin the beauty
of what it is now.

I have work to do
I have people to see
My rooms a mess
My shows on TV

I have to leave
I have to leave

I'm just so sorry

Just breathe
Just breathe

Hold me a little tighter
Love me a little longer
Plan for me
Care for me
Protect me

Maybe then, I won't be so b-b-b...