Frequently I find myself unable to complete everyday tasks,
it is like my brain has made it harder to do anything,
it is like i am unable to compel myself to even get up.

It happened suddenly,
like a lightning bolt liquid and lashing,
a sand storm deadly and unexpected.

Sleep became a luxury,
Screens became a necessity,
and school became a maybe.

I would long for the days that a liquid gold would seep through my veins and give me anything, any ounce of energy to complete daily tasks.

Even as I sit writing this my body has successfully avoided clean dishes, doing laundry and completing schoolwork.

I know I need to change,
I want to change,
But I have no idea how to get out of this mental cage of misery that holds me.

The worst thing in the world
you can do
is hurt a child...  
What hurts more
than being kept away
from someone you love?

A lifelong amount of moments to a matter of seconds in my head, a few drops of liquid in my brain that could have erased all of the miserable feelings in my uneasy gut.

You used to always roll my sleeves up for me, but now my sweaters are in the closet and they're catching dust.
And now winter is coming, but I would have worn them for you in the summer.

I've been falling asleep in the back of the bar lately & I am not sure which way is up and which way is down.
"He" leads me down the stairs to the parking lot and rips my dress off me like its ***** laundry... But who he is... I don't even know.

It's been long enough for me to move on and get over you but there's something in the way the light shines against my hands that makes my heart ache.

You aged like wine and I aged like moldy cheese but we never found the perfect combination to keep us together.

I've been falling asleep in bars... And the bartender told me I can't come back anymore.
"He" took me home... But where that is.... I don't even know.

I don't think we were meant to end quite yet but you took two steps back with each one of my steps forward. I leapt before I could even crawl let alone walk.

You are still perfectly unhappy and I'm still researching the meaning of life... And even though part of me doesn't want you back... The other part of me still wants one last kiss.

I've been falling asleep in bars since i returned back west & I don't know if I'm just exhausted or miserable these days... But man... I hate beer.

Why do I think this way?
Constantly facing the worst,
So I automatically expect it.

Why do I react this way?
I automatically expect it,
But I still feel miserable every time.

Why do I do this to myself?
I feel miserable every time,
Yet I take the chance time after time.

I constantly face the worst,
So I automatically expect it.
But something inside me always says,
"This time will be different."

you found her
lost and insecure
her pale skin shimmering
just laying there

just a moment to late
whyd you have to wait
to find her
the clock just stopped
the tears just dried

you dont know why
you cant keep your eyes off her
you dont know where to go from here
cause it was you and her
for always and after
but just a moment to late
why did you have to wait

everything she did was beautiful
every smile glowed
every laugh warmed your soul
everything about her was perfection

whyd you have to wait
you were a moment to late
you cant keep your eyes off of her

you cant move
scared to miss the lies
hoping this is a dream
hoping to break the ties

whyd you have to wait
you were here a moment to late
starring at her body
laying on the floor
full of sorrow
why did you not listen for the screams
how could you not hear the sobs

nothings forever
except when you look at her
you cant take your eyes off her
you know once you do
it will be the last time you see her.

Just then does the pain take over.
As you fall to your knees.

You were only using me
to solve your problems,
and hide your lies
just because you couldn't compromise

I thought you were my friend
apparently I was wrong,
I thought we could be friends again
that we would finally get along

now it's my turn, I need help
and this is what you do?!
your going to leave me here alone
while I was there for you?!

and now your reading this,
don't start caring now!
just because I'm telling the truth
doesn't mean you get to back down!

let the world see you
for who you really are,
she's running from the truth
but she's not getting that far

your not going to win this time!
you hurt my friends, you cheated,
you lied! You acted in pain
as we fell down and died

I tried to help you through your problems
and this is what you choose?
you makes everyone's life miserable
because you didn't know who you would rather lose!

just let me make this simple for you:
you have my friendship, but you have lost my trust
Don't be surprised
when I leave you in the dust.