I wonder where i would be ,
wonder if somehow or maybe.
Where the world would have took
I who was too afraid to look
would I be in space on planet mars?
be floating above, up there with the stars?

Look beneath the big blue waves
beneath the sand or inside the caves.
the sound of my heart lost to comfort
big in regrets and deeply encumbered
blue, it is stagnant in it's hollow
waves crashing against it ready to swallow

For I regret not having been curious.
I forsake the days i settled for less
regret not having followed adventure
not finding myself in the process.
having wasted my time with such adult ways
been ****** into their incurious gaze
curious was I before those days.

Myself, who are you, i will never know
who is this person who gave up on tomorrow
are all my hopes now gone like how curiosity left me?
you have given up hope to ever find glee?
I sit among the "what if" shadows
will I ever really find my purpose?
never will i get back the time I have lost
know I will make up for it at any cost

Everyday I will search not a moment I will waste
I will rush into the coming days with haste
will I have ample time to ever find me?
search I shall with all leniency.
not a storm so large will make me sway
a large pay check will not take me away
moment I find myself I will say
"I am greater than I am yesterday"
will I find what i am looking for?
waste no time I am ready for more.

if it was meant to stay
then it would have
what if it was meant
to be lost all along?
what if you're holding
on to the wrong one?
try to think about it

Sorry

I’m sorry I didn’t take care of your heart the way I should have,
I took advantage of you.
I abused your love.
I was wrong for selfishly having you stay with me.
I made you look like a fool and I didn’t care; at the time.
I’m sorry for making you carry that pain subconsciously
with you all this time.
I blamed you for everything and put pressure on you when
I should have been more patient and gentle for us.
you’ve taught me how sacred true love is
and
I was reckless with yours.
I’m sorry for every time that I looked into your beautiful eyes,
I told you lies.
I’m sorry for wasting your time.
I’m sorry if these words aren’t enough for the damage that I caused.
If it makes a difference
I love you and,
I will always be here for you.

In the darkness of a book
In the cradle of a look
In the flower of enlightened uncertainty
In the birth of God the word of eternity
What you think you may become
Voices echo like the drum
Flames burn in words
Love the greatest flame of all
Eternal word of creation
Of us all
The word given in the beginning
Hope to start us singing
An angelic sky to watch the sunrise
On a mountain
To drink from the fountain
On heavens earth
To watch a son or a daughters birth
To remember a kiss
In remembrance there is this
Etched in histories thought
The word is caught
Captured in the collective mind
Sung in divine times.

So take a look inside
For there I left my smile
A note I had to write
That I've found my velvet mine
And I'm gonna sit here till I die
That my eyes are tryin' a-hide
Yet inside my ever-shifting cry
And I guess it's just tonight
And I'm gonna sit here till I die

Take one last look
Strengthen your word
For every mood
The soil's being ripped out off the root
And I'm gonna stand here for good
Blurring the truth underfoot
And the voice is soft and mute
Echoes in the misunderstood
*And I'm gonna stand here for good

Lure her
Floor her
Scare her
Stone her
Beat her
**** her
Get down
Stay down
Play around
The sound
Deaf and blind
Can't see truth
Won't hear truth
Illusion blinds her
Words go through
But it won't sink in
So she
Gets down
And stays down
While they
Lure her
Floor her
Scare her
Stone her
Beat her
**** her
And she doesn't even know

There are nights just like tonight were i can't  read, or draw, or sleep, or even breath. I cant do anything and i feel like I'm going to die. I try to do  anything to go to sleep but it's no use because  i physically cant do it. But then on those nights without fault there well be bright stars, cool air, and this amazing feeling of openness.
Once when i couldn't take that feeling anymore i looked out the window and saw the front yard.; the street lights were reflecting  the wet lawn. I walked out and you asked me why, i told you because  its beautiful, and you didn't understand  so you followed me out and as i layed down in the street you asked me what was so beautiful because  again you didn't understand and i told you that it was the dizzy feeling you get when you stare at endlessnes. But you didn't hear me because  you were telling me to get to bed. When i got up i saw you looking at the ground while walking back. Kicking a rock.
Maybe in a world with so much saddness it it better not to ask questions,
Maybe it is better not to look up.