Can’t catch this hue of you
I’m a scathing black in the midnight blues
An overcast sky, blanketing blister-paced eyes
Hangs right above my neck

I’ve brewed restless ache
It settles deep in the space
Between my lusts and restraints
Scared to death either way

I’ve let the blood in my skin
Sink into bones and teeth
Crimson flush under limbs
Stiffer than death

I’m all I lack

water fills my ears
making the sounds around me
soften and fade away
my heart beats it's
sad melody
I lay and listen to it for quite some time
before I get the courage to resurface

i never thought i'd be impaired by something i needed the most.
you don't realize how important sleep is until you get an eighth of the amount you're supposed to every night.
my dreams are either pitch black or memories i figured had been long forgotten and
they're usually interrupted by bouts of hysteria which bring me back to the real world with a neck-snapping jolt.
i can't sleep and i'm too tired to focus on anything.
all i can do is sit around and watch tv and pray to be preyed on by a vulture or maybe you.

Sometimes I think
there are not enough words
to describe the color of your eyes
or the curve of your neck,
the way you make my bones ache
or the speed of my heart when I hear your voice.
I think about the lack
the inability
to outline you in pencil and ink
with all the words I know now.
You are something new.
You require a new combination of
letters and sounds.
There is not a single phrase in all of the world
to explain the way you make me feel,
so for you
I will create a new language.

Boneless city
How did I never see you waver in my youth?
Ignorant of the tilt and the blows dealt on day-to-day walks
Stepping into bruises, slamming into ****** grit

Boneless street
You bring my head all the closer to the ground
All the further from the clouds
From all your round about; circular, ocean mouth
Shark-toothed belly ache
You find yourself insatiate

Quaint, the flesh of a dying city
The concrete simmer, the metallic retreat
The dust in lieu of blanket smog
No fractures with all struts gone
Only a once inflation, reduced flat
A stranger finding himself within
Wading liquid glass that shaves off chunks
Of everything, but the lack

My imagination places me on the precipice of a giant void, the wind against my back. I could just turn around..
But I know the truth. I'm already at bottom. I search for the slightest sign of a transient light.. anything that would give me a reason to move. Anything. To make a change. Please?
But there is nothing.
There's nothing left of me. I'm gone. Lost.
The steps I take are mechanical and dull. A last feeble attempt at prolonging the facade that I'm still here.
This is my fault.
To think I used to be so driven. So awake.
I don't sleep anymore.
As much as I want to blame you,
or the wine glasses my lips have such affinity for,
or your haunting indecision..
But what's the point anyway?
I curl up on my floor, a heap of mud.
An inaudible sigh escapes my lips. A catch in my breath.
My attempt to choose which flavor of Kraft would carry my body today has failed. I'm out of time.
I'm late.
I'm always late.
Maybe I won't even go.
I hate it anyway.
But I can't change it.
I am powerless.
I tilt my head towards the shelf. I can't lift it. I can't force myself to lift it.  
Hair falls over my face. Why am I so weak?
It's all my fault.  
Was I ever enough?
I can't even hate you in the ways I wish I could.
Even hatred would propel me to stand.
But it won't, and I won't.
It's too late.
I'm always late.
Maybe I won't even go.

poetry
it is the way the pen taps at an anxious hand
waiting for the words to catch up to emotions
your head unscrewed at the top
your thoughts dribbling down your cheeks
in droplets onto paper

ink flows with ease
when flowers blossom in your mind
reaching their way through your chest
or
when your heart is clenched so tightly
to keep from shattering

i sit here empty
sunken eyes
cracked fingers trace paper
and i am uncomfortably numb

evil has looked back at me
razors down my back
i’ve felt the sun on my mind
a heart of healed cracks

i cursed the past
tried something new
and i managed somehow to live
without holding you

tonight simply i’m nothing
blank as the page before me
i hope that soon
the universe hands me
a bouquet of life
a handful of seeds
that i can plant as new thoughts

i need something