"I woke up."
   And wished I was dead.
"I walked through the house."
   Like a zombie.
"I kissed and hugged my mother."
   And my body was in so much pain.
"I ate my breakfast."
   And felt sick to my stomach.
"I grabbed my clothes and got dressed."
   But I stared at my scars and cuts first.
"I started my schoolwork."
   And wished I could disappear.
"I turned in assignments."
   But I already knew what my grades would be.
"I ate lunch; I had a sandwich."
   I didn't want to eat. Why do they make me?
"I went back and did more school."
   And wished I wasn't alive; did I mention that already?
"I did my chores."
   And thought of all the ways I could leave.
"I ate dinner."
   Because they always make me eat.
"I did more school until ten."
   Then collapsed into bed, not wanting to exist.
"I laid in my bed wide awake, thinking, until about two a.m."
   I didn't want to sleep 'cause I don't like nightmares.
"I thought about life, conversations, etc."
   Ways I could off myself, why I hate myself, etc.
"I finally fell asleep around two-fifteen."
   The nightmares get worse and worse.
   Please don't make me do it again.
   I don't want to live another day.
   Please don't make me live life.
"Then the day started again when I woke up at about five."
   *Please.

I go through the day,
Putting forth a happy display,
Living out my life
Like it were just another picture
To be made and played
By fervent, cheering crowds:
Only it’s my own reality
That I am not allowed

a tender fog
hides our view
of what might be
a face most beautiful

but we don’t know

as local laws are such
     that beauty only shows itself
to spouses predetermined
by the wisdom of the elders

who demonstrate to have
     no  understanding
of human wishes and desires

You're hiding who you are
and I hope you realize
that once you show everyone
the real you, they will love you
even more.

I haven’t slept in 2 years. I haven’t eaten in 5, I’m not lying.

People lie everyday. “Little white lies” we call them. They mean nothing at all. It won’t hurt anybody. What could possibly happen if I told a lie?

Some people are bad liars, and some lies are just bad.

I’m not a bad liar. But people just don’t believe me when I say anything. Everything I say becomes a lie in another person’s ears, they won’t listen.

So if I tell bad lies on purpose will anybody notice? I’ll mix up the truth with bad lies and see if people can tell the difference.

I’ve never broken a bone, I’ve never been drunk, I’ve never forgotten a birthday. Do you know which statement is true? And which one was the lie?

I’ve been sick for 10 years, my IV is made of tears, my cereal tastes like regret, I’m not lying.

I’ve forgotten my own name, I forgot where I came from, I left my consciousness on the bus. I’m not lying.

It’s very easy to ignore an obvious lie, when you know the truth. But I’m not lying…

My heart is broken, my dignity stolen, and my future is no more. I’m not lying.

My friends are gone, along with my dad and mom, my sibling disappeared. I’m not lying.

My chest hurts, my ribs are shattered, and as for me. Well, there’s not a lot of me left. I’m not lying.

I can’t stop myself from constantly running away from the truth, lies are just so much easier to tell.

They say the truth sets you free…
Ok… Let’s try again.

The poem is filled with lies, some of them easier to say than others. But I want to start telling the truth now.

I want to start this poem over. I want to be better than this. I know I’m better than this… And maybe you can hear it in my voice. But I promise. I’m not lying…

I tell you bout my trips and everything I’ve seen
about my laughter and what I’ve learned but
I’m afraid to tell you that I feel like I’m losing myself again
that stopping my medication was the wrong decision
like I am trapped in this opportunity, can't get out and can't go home
I don't tell you about being filled with regret
that my flashbacks hurt more than I expected
That I lost my safe place and I feel abandoned

You did yoga today and I travelled some more
I laughed a little, and took a nap
you're seeing your friend tomorrow
I know what you are doing
but how are you doing

Given time but not the means
Rhyme but not the schemes
Will but not the way
Minute but not the day
Bite but not the meal
Card but not the deal
Heart but not the hope
Chair but not the rope
Friends but not the fun
Bullet slides in the gun
Aim is to my head
The goal is to be dead

Obama was the nicest guy - Intelligent and cool.
Comparatively speaking, his successor plays the fool.
Ridiculous and baseless tweets, The Donald can't avoid.
His recent missives indicate he's turning paranoid.

Barack Obama seems to be Trump's ongoing obsession.
Obama saved the U.S.A. from Bush-induced recession.
The Donald hates Barack's success and can't leave it alone,
and Trump, now "off the rails", claims Obama bugged his phone!

Trump's offered no supporting facts for his emphatic claim.
No warrants from the F.B.I. or C.I.A. to blame.
Perhaps he thinks Barack Obama has a super-power
that lets him fly high in the sky to break into Trump Tower.

So, do you wonder, Donald Trump, just where Barack is now?
Is he there behind the curtains? Is he in the walls somehow?
Is he watching from the ceiling? Is he in the chandelier?
Is he in your 15th closet? Do these thoughts fill you with fear?

Is he down at Mar-a-Lago, in the old groundskeeper's shed?
Is he disguised just like Melania, right there in your bed?
The truth may be much worse than that! Does it fill you with dread,
to realize Barack is living... deep inside your head?

I'm very good at pretending to be happy
But somehow you know I'm sad
When no one else does

My heart is very broken inside me
But somehow you mended it
When no one else could

I'm easily tired of this world and its people
But somehow you make me smile
When no one else can

I'm very good at hide and seek
But somehow you found me
When no one else did