i learnt a lot about
myself today.

i learnt a lot about
fear today.

fear of
missing out
mostly.

ive heard the term before
but never thought
it was something ive felt.

i went to my high school graduation
ceremony today.
only a year ago it was me.

that day wasnt for me anymore
and i stuck around
like a fly on the wall
asking if they remembered
when i was there too.

if people can be toxic
im glowing bright green.

Sweet treat left upon the pavement
A sweltering, bereft mess becoming sticker.
I wish to scoop you up,
Stuff your blue shell back into
Your crinkly wrapper, all done up
In a pale green so dapper.

I am jealous of your life before.
Of all the fingers that have touched you,
And the ears that have heard you say
“I love you.”
I am jealous
Of all the parts of you I will never know,
Of all the years that I didn’t play a part in,
Of all the smiles that I didn’t cause.
I know I have no right to be,
I cannot claim every piece of you,
I cannot deny you a history,
I cannot be your everything.
But god knows, I want to be.
Because what if those ghosts of fingers
Still touch you?
What if you still hear the echoes
Of “I love you”s that tripped from tongues
Other than mine?
What if all those smiles,
Half remembered,
Make you long for lips you used to kiss?
What if,
What if,
What if.
I don’t know how to not be afraid
Of losing you.
I am scared that one day you will wake up,
And look at me,
And realise I am so hollow
And I have so little to give.
I am scared that you will realise
You are worth so much more
Than me.

A bird,

flies,

over lands and seas.

Freely feeling the cold air brushing through its wings.

A red bird it was,

who changed colors,

yellow when happy,

blue when sad,

green when excited,

red when in danger.

The bird was flying away from another bird.

Who was much bigger and stronger,

its colors were black,

and black meant,

a terrible thing,

that no one, not even a bird,

would like to know,

it,

was,

death chasing life.

Remember that time
I told you I'd felt
like a plant recently?
I'd gone out
and soaked up some sun
after those dark winter months.
The feeling  is
the same when I think
of seeing you again.
To hear that sparkle of a voice
the light of your touch.
You are radiant,
and I a faithful stalk of green.

I'm not a man who understands,
In fact, I fail all the time.
But there's peace in the pond.
I stare,
I shouldn't dare.
I hate to offend.
I'm a mortal man.
Yet still I gaze upon her unbroken soul.
She greets me with calming breath so soft.
Eternal bliss in her blue loft.
It's calm.
She welcomes me home.
There's peace in the pond.
I don't want to leave her;
Too many wonders unseen.
Her invisible hands caressing lush green.
Her mighty soft breath tingling me.
So here's to peace in the pond:
Fly, my angel,
To wonders unseen.
Fly, my angel,
May your Heaven stay free.

I knew of a girl
in a little green sweater
her eyes were bright
just like the weather
she came from a sunny place but
I slowly learned her insides were more of the rainy type
she said she had the emotional health of a cheese grater
I never really knew what to make of that-
it could be taken so many ways
but what I did know was
she was strong, soft, bold, and outspoken
she might've felt flimsy like aluminum and full of holes,
glass with little cracks to seep through,
but to me she was solid titanium that could shred through anything,
diamond with dangerous piercing points