I set your alarm for 9:00
hit the light on the TV
(it took me way too long to figure out how)
I threw a blanket over you and your limbs strength out of 3/4ths of the couch
your head tilted and arms wrapped around my vacant space as if you were still being held
I put your dishes in the sink
I folded your glasses and put them on the nightstand with your phone so they wouldn't break
I left a spot on the floor next to me in case you might decide to come down
the only thing I didn't do was kiss your check

11:30 I heard you get up for water
you set it by my feet and fell back asleep where I had last left you
as for the water, I must have kicked it
because when I woke up it was spilled all over the floor

reminding me that I always seem to be the one to make the mess
it was the only thing you noticed upon waking, the water glass

so after you left
I cleaned it, realizing as I did
that you never come down to me last night


so this time I cleaned until the room was spotless hoping this time you'd notice the difference I tried to create

but you didn't come home that night

Stars constant,
as winks
in wine glasses.

your name echoes in my mind,
dancing-
on the windowpanes
where the rain falls,
drips down the cold glass,
making the world so bleary
-like waking up in the morning,
to the soft smell of warm chocolate.

the warm sweaters you wear,
they’re so unlike you-
-you, the girl who tells me three words when she’s afraid,
for me, the girl who can’t seem to float
and yet somehow i fly.
you’re all dark and softly-bright,
like cotton candy wisps and dark velvet necklace’s,
not warm burgundy and spiced hot chocolate.

one night, one fall night where the leaves were barely red,
i was afraid of you,
the way my skin turned to embers,
our shadows waving and flickering in the moonlight
yet now i cannot stop to wonder why the fire
turned to stone.

now i look into those eyes,
i see the sky laid about bare,
and my soul hanging by a thread in wonder,
hands touching.
you are the moon -going down in the sky,
giving birth to an easy morning in the country summers.
you are the stars, far points on light that call me home,
reach out to touch me from my place under you,
calling me to my dreams.

soft breaths against a soft cheek,
a warm head, with soft hairs mingling in your sweaters
-the way you lean over, no, not over,
but as if to cover mine keep it safe from the darkening sky and whirling leaves.
i am the lone girl under rattling metal rafters,
when they’ve all gone home,
and i,
standing alone in the dark wondering about you
am still under the rafters of a place that isn’t home.

Lips as red as wine
Sipping a glass of Merlot
Face in deep concentration
Separating the different ingredients
Brain wrapped in sweet smelling savour
Sip by sip
Glass after glass
Love in every drop.

This feeling I can't let go
My once empty belly, is now full
Full of love.

I know we shattered
because you moved away
and I didn't bother to call you

I know we shattered
because one day I came over
and you weren't the you that I knew

I know we shattered
because we drifted apart
and I don't know
what happened to you

I know we shattered
because I only texted
for me and not for you

I know that we shattered
because I f*cked up
and you are still a part
of my broken heart

and I am now surrounded
with shards of glass
and my hands

                                    D
                         ­           r
                               i        p
                             p          i
                                 n  g

blood
and staining the floor

Dreams slip away
Fogged glasses
Wind chimes sound
Leaves start to crumble
Wind under feathers shriek
Thrills of the splinters
Each mask worn differently
Those who seek will never find

Wind it up
So it beats
At a rhythmic pace

Skim your finger over it
Cherishing it
And its fragility

Shatter it
To let the emotions flow outward
As you have broken my heart

Burnt leaves
Colors of decay
How slowly they fall
Skeletal trees sway
Each cobbled stone promise
Coated with glass
Rain spots and reflections
Eyes watch in love
For the new birth of season