aj 2d
I'm at a loss

but I'm not confused

for the stars are attached to too many truth's

I wanna look up

but can't bring myself to

what if I see something?

something other than you
aj 2d
I came back to a bag of clothes on my bed
that you left there for me while I was gone
they looked little and silly, the things;

once mine, then yours
now neither of us want to take credit for what belongs to us

you were giving back what you'd kept hold on to in the most material way you could

thought basically saying in less words than one
"I've made the choice to forget you"
aj 4d
I half expected half hoped that you'd walk back through that front door again
and it scares me knowing that I don't know when or if you ever will again
because at this point I won't be there when you do
Part two in a series of poems written over the course of several months
aj 4d
I just said goodbye to us as we've known it
I don't feel like I did it right, the goodbye
It wasn't soft or spiritual
We never locked eyes
You just hugged me tight as we both pretended to be fine

Then you kissed me
and turned around and left
no glance back

it was a simple goodbye  

Not five seconds out the door
it took me one moment to realize
that I had just said hello to the end of us without even looking you in the eyes once
aj 5d
I think that maybe
(maybe)
you mean more to me than I'd like to think

I'd like to think that it hit me
unexpectedly
but I don't
(I really don't)
think it did
??
aj 5d
I got home from work today
turned off my engine and just sat there

it was raining outside
a little cold
my knees hurt

I found myself thinking of you

thinking about how empty my car felt in this rain without you

/ / /

there is a kindness inside of you that I don't know how to explain
you carry yourself with an essence of unapology that makers itself known

gently

you don't care what people thing but you are by far the most caring

you make chaos something graceful
you ***** away labels that do nothing but confuse
you navigate the world with truth, inspiring everything that surrounds you to become its best

if you want something you, you create it
you are purest form of spirit and the epitome of resilient
and I am so grateful for you

/ / /

I have no explanation other than the one sitting right here in this car in the rain but I hope it is enough because there is more love than can fit in my heart for you

too much not to know what to do with it
another memoir type thing
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