Am I glass to myself?
So easily shattered.
See through the image I talk about;
Do I pretend to be different
Than a mirror of doubt?
Reflect back only critics
Buckets of loss
With every look in the eye,
A victory tossed.

I hear your voice from the corridor.

Your laughter triggers my grief, I get so weak.

The voice that once gave me butterflies now feels like a dagger in my chest.

I can no longer hide, time's up.

I have to face you.

I wasn't strong enough to look down and our eyes met.

I felt the space, the universe even, between us.

A cracked glass wall I can't punch through no matter how hard I'd try.

While facing reality the ground beneath me gets blurry.

I'll never get away from you.

The walls I have to build to survive having you around won't be crushable.

Loving you will be my loneliest downfall.

some people were born to face more pain than all of the others combined
a stroke of luck or a generational curse
but don't assume my sensitivity adds up to a lack of strength
you touch me like I'm glass- like I may fall apart at any given moment
but I am not a mess for you to clean
I'm strong because the world has broken me more times than I could count
and I still approach love with the kind of vulnerability some may call ignorant
but I am not naive for believing in something so pure my scars won't make a difference
I am simply learning how to **** out those not meant for me

I feel like I'm made of cheap glass
I have no purpose, I'm not of high class
And even though I'm of no use
That will never make a good excuse

Pardon my outburst, I'm containing my thoughts
And each one that goes can never be caught
They all burst from my mind like a brilliant volcano
Each one setting off a light and faint glow

I feel like I'm absolutely fake
I put on a smile because if I'm happy, that's all it takes
It doesn't hurt them if I'm sad, no one even cares
Because when I'm sad, they just feel the need to stare

I don't pay attention to them because I know deep in my mind
All of them have no idea of the things I think of, they're blind
Each thought darker than the last
Remembering all the bad times in the past

Each thought bubbles up and creates paranoia
Each one branches out like a giant sequoia
I hate each and every one for they swarm me like flies
I can't explain how much it hurts, but each sharp sting of pain I despise

I used to view my life like a bird in a cage
That you had the key, so I'd fly in a rage
Scream at you when things got rough
Bite when I never thought you did enough

When the bars broke and I was finally free
Distance and time gave me the chance to see
The vivid silks that served as your bonds
So pretty you missed the chains beyond

Mother and I used to discuss the fabric and style
Father and I would talk about patterns for a while
All you had was this and you gave it all to me
I wish you'd realize this wasn't who I wanted to be

A year underwater and I've been torn clear
Now an invisible wall lies between us, I fear

So I light a candle for the two of you instead
Hold the thought of you close when I go to bed
Press a hand to the window and feel the cold
Remember warmer days and then feel old

Before I go home, there are a few things I have to do
Like run a waterfall to a page instead of to you
Polish the mask I must wear without shame
Else without it, you'd never know my name

broken by this world
how do I get by
miles run wild
as time runs off to
the wilderness it finds
ran by the silver lines
leaving no remnant of fear
in this golden sky of life
where tears run dry
the beauty of this life
is often bittersweet
like a forbidden truth
often told to keep
with the shadow of rivers
running deep.