I can't take another day of running into the ground head first trying to catch something that may as well be non-existent.
I cannot look at you anymore with a mirage of love in my eyes when we both know the spark between us was never fed enough oxygen.
I won't allow fear or anger to manipulate what my heart vividly sees.
I will not live in this perpetual ******* darkness while the earth still shines.

All that's left to do is put one foot ahead of the other.

You flooded me with false hope
And left me drowning in feelings
Thinking about how you and I
Could've been a we
With your lingering touches
You sparked lightning in my heart
And now it dances in my veins
Refusing to stop.
But you dont care that you are in my bloodstream
Because baby, I could light up the skies for you
And you wouldn't care to look.

I hear your hollow words
Laced with doubt
Sharp tongued, dull mouthed
Inattentive love

Your heaven is paved with
The shallow beat of empty hearts
Your heaven is a fortress
Desolate, apart

Closed eyes, closed ears, closed mouths
Closed minds, closed hearts above
This is a hell
I can’t reside

If ignorance could paint the world
No greys would hold
And your whites would grant passage
For only the sold

No promise

Why are you an atheist?
How often I get asked this question...
Because I am alone in this world.
I am alone, and you have your God.
How is your God great, and is your God good,
When every time the news comes on,
I hear the latter?
People killing people in so called,
"Holy wars."
What's so holy about ******?
About war?
About ****?
Poverty?
Suicide?

So while you spend your Sundays staring
At the heart of an empty sky,
While you waste your last breath pleading for forgiveness,
I will sit here and be an innocent bystander
To the will of your ******* savior.
Such horrors your savior has put me through.
Why am I living in a place where people are judged
By the color of their skin?
A world where people slit there wrists and throats
Just to feel alive.
A world were daddy's **** their "little princess'"
And mommy is on the bathroom floor
A little too long this time.
If that is the world we live in,
I don't want to live there anymore.

So, take your comic books and your name tags
And pedal your beliefs somewhere they are needed.
I don't want them.
Your God doesn't know me.
He doesn't know what I can take.
And what about the people who couldn't take
What they were given?
With their broken backs
And your broken heart
And my broken mind.

Oh. But what if I have lost my mind?
Throw me in my padded room
With my bleeding writs
Tied behind my padded back.
Thanks so much for your God's help,
So much for knowing my breaking point.
It's too late I am lost forever and
The void in my heart is full of jellybeans,
And the void in my head is filled with my heart.

I, am tired.
Where is your god now?
Where were you when I needed you most? What about when I was face down on the ground?
I thought of you, it went up with the bottle
and went down with the pills.
Who stopped me from killing myself?
When the thoughts slowly left my head
And my heart ceased its song in my chest.

Where are you now as I sit in front of your children,
The corpse of a girl we all once knew,
And spin my stories?
Where are you now?
Where is your God?

I am God.

(a.m)

Busy without end,
Needless activity that
Has no bounds.
False actions
So incapsalated with.
Fretting about my life--
An unanimated robot.
Chained to the illusion
Of fervid productivity.
Things to do, things to do
Never a minute, never an hour.
Constant motion--
Only smoke and mirrors.

You read your horoscope like a bible scripture
Quoting scorpios psalms and passages
Thinking your heart cannot be trusted
As if the stars you're praying to don't live in your ventricles
And pump pure energy through your veins
Patterns in the stars and patterns in your bones don't mean much when you spend every night alone
But I'm a libra and you, my beautiful Venus, ****** me more with every word that flows out of those lips
And I'm alone tonight as I wonder if we will ever really find what were looking for

Nights are getting cold, the shadows are so much darker.
I find silence so much louder than it really is.
I’m growing old, life is floating out of me.
And I feel so alone.
Dear friends, my friends forever!
Why are you out there, digging your graves with lies?
And no one’s here to care, no one’s here to notice.
My lungs collapsing from the false that hangs in the air.
My heart filled with emptiness.
And blood in my veins poisoned by disappointments of my entire life.
Because nothing stays the same and nothing lasts forever.
And maybe I wish leafs could fall backwards.
Maybe I wish things happened twice.
But what would it change?
Dear friends, my useless friends…
You’ve lost your chance.
Don’t feed me with sadness anymore.

Living in a lonely world,
Falling for everything;
got me here.
headed to nowhere.
But empty space,
Wondering if I should,
take it there. Or stay miss
placed. Mars for Pluto’s
and kudos for escapes.
Things looking up,
I’m feeling; fate.
Tomorrow never lies,
Then again; Time kills.
Brutal battle grounds;
Where Love don’t make a sound.
Heated passions simmer down.
Dudes that had my back;
Waiting for me to turn around.
Toxic crusaders; pullin me down.
Devil’s advocates; in the back ground.
Angels have wings; no need to touch down.
The thought; alone. So profound.
Karma knocking; she’s on the rebound.
Hold-up; that’s her – calling me now.