I slip and fall, behold the water all around, this daze, the overlit tiny
space, hospital, looking at me, doctors piercing gaze.
This is it! I feel their needles pierce my side, fill me with that which
will put out my lights.
I scream and in a rush they tilt my head back and let the pills
go down my throat. I was the one who got myself trapped
by this modern castle moat.
Should have known better, but still I cry, this is it, I'll set fire
to the skies, and no one will ever again sing me sterile lullabies!

*Tick
Tock
Clock
Years
Fears
Covered the empty bed sheets
Tears
Vague memories burned into my skull
Like a flashing bulb
****
All pain is gone
The chills
Spills
Backwards
Slipping into a near coma
From my FREE drug induced state
Speeding heart rate, and yet you,
Sifting through bottles
For that one last pill
To free your cowardly self
From having any free will.

her lips,
of blooming poppy,
hold promises of *****,
slipping past the choices,
knowing they'd be caught
too late, and not before
they've met desires
secretly
in shadows underneath
the moonlit balconies

You're stuck
in this daze;
confused
beyond
meaning.
You chose
to ignore
every single
warning,
and crawled
into bed
anyways.
You didn't
want to
believe
that life
would
**** the
hell out
of you and
not care
about the
damage
it left
behind.
-JRM

sitting in a lull
the dawn ages away, when
suddenly eyes
are upon me.
my terror, instinctive;
my urge to fight back,
just as much so
and quickly taking
over.
escaped though, and
i am left
adrenaline coursing
an added ingredient to
a heady mix
already coursing.
secondary shut down,
and the gates close-
future release denied
suspension of
grief receptacle,
dislodged.
flashback and
the inevitable realization.
mind over matter, every time,
here, take this.
its shape,
****** and shifting.
make it right;
use that rush.
and the environment?
succumbs, and i
whimper
instead of bark, as is
form.
well done, good girl.

The sunday quiet eases my mind,
a welcome vacancy of thought spirals.
In the distance a soft tune plays,
music spins in and out of my space.
It fills my limbs from head to toe
spouting from my lips, my eyes, my-
my music spins me into a daze
and trance unlike a hypnotic phase.
The sun beams high from its sunday spot,
the clouds are fluffy, light, and white.
And as the music blooms to peak,
the lapping blue envelopes my cheeks.
I float in absence of the my weight,
absolute serenity claims a stay.
Its clear blue sheen brings peace to mind,
like I could drown here and still not die.
Its weightlessness drenches my hair,
yet when i shift into the air,
the weight is heavier so much there.
I intake life and fall to the floor,
the most abnormal experiences
are felt under this blue shore.
My body trembles as reality shakes,
my breathe is leaving,
to the surface or to a calmer place?
A disturbance by the door I hear,
gentle giggles of my sisters near,
I gasp for air as the bubbles explode,
This sunday warmth is toxic yet not loathed.