A swiss army knife in an unwelcoming God toolbox is how I would describe myself
Versatile but cheap.
Not profound at anyone thing.
Illusionism of quantity that is mistaken for quality
Many books started but never finished
A vast resume both musical and medical
Many half played sheet music
Many diplomas full of emptiness
If started but never finished adventures could be considered hoarding I would be the sickest on earth.
The addiction of rebirth, restarting, and creation swallow me whole
Me the addict of wanting to live many lifetimes
I am the backspace bar of life
The blank sheet of paper on an empty desk resting beside a newly sharpened pencil
This, the description of the feeling I so desperately crave- absolutism

My shakey addict hands hunger for words like; blank, clean, fresh

These fuel my unhealthy obsession for second chances

>Stained on the lips, as you bite your lip hard, the blood drips, the taste of metal against your tongue.... sacrificial blood as the passion awakens...

<My body yours to the soul I give
Blood feeding into our veins
Drinking from my cup
O' holy grail
Fill you up
Can you ******* pain

>Feeding on my my insides, my body yearns for the touch. I feed onto your pain, as you unleash your burdens onto me, I feel your touch soaking deeper onto mine, I crave your sensuality, your erotica got me feelin' weak

<The words you never speak seeping in my skin
Holding all inside sharing love and sin
I feel you
I know you
You writhe in serpents hive
Let's wind back the dangers
Let us  **** and thrive
Beneath Hell we shall dive

>**** harder as we thrive deeper in sin,  I feel you inside of me rushing through my veins, like electricity shocking through my nervous system... I try to hold on to the thought of you, but it rushes through me like a flash, I forget you, then it's done.

you were my medicine
but now im overdosing
straight to the brain
when i take you in
doses so large people wonder
how im not dead yet

and my friends are in my ear
screaming, crying, reminding me
that all you caused was hurt
but your love was just so blinding

maybe our love was laced
because darling, im high on you
and youre high on me
our romance became chemical

****, u were my medicine
and now im overdosing
everytime you go
it leaves me jonesing
for one more hit
the sweet sensation of acidic touch
i couldnt afford to believe in
such thing as too much
euphoria

the sting, the drip, the pain
the energy i get
only lasts a fleeting moment
so i crave something harder

my need for pain
became insatiable
i dont know if im capable
of staying sober  
3/26/2019

Sometimes, I forget how to touch.
So close I can feel it
To grab out and steal it
I want to reach out
to clutch

Sometimes, I forget how to touch
My body begs  for the affection
broken , tired, seeking attention
I need someone to say it
To open their arms and tell me
I love you so much.

Sometimes, I forget to touch
I think that the wind can hold me
Wrap its arms around and engulf me
Someone, something
Please come show me
I crave it
I don’t know how else to say it
Sometimes, I forget what it feels like to be touched.

You crave and yet resist those things; that take you from what's good, 'till something better takes another other and seems again anew
How often times the image thought supreme to it's ideal
Tryin to change one to form another "other" that seems again anew
Are you another one of my symbols?
Is this another one of my images?
Archetypes they tell me and I'm somewhere in between

Darkness calls out
I know his name
I can recognize him at a glance
And yet, I am confused

But why the confusion?
You know what's wrong
You know what's right
It's just that simple

Some things, though feel
So good that
They just couldn't
Possibly be wrong

All I know
Is that when I think
I crave
Something wonderful

Intoxicating
Thrilling
Addicting
Wrong?

I don't know any more
So instead I run
Towards my buzz
And I forget

What was your name?

It was nothing you ever wished,
Nothing but a sweet curve upon my face.
I lost my right to call your name,
The day I lost my grace.

You were always fair,
Far from foul.
It was I to be blamed,
I a treacherous ghoul.

It is just to blame me,
It is just to hate.
Trapped in between love and guilt,
Will you leave me to my fate ?

I have a lot to say,
Trust me it's not a bait.
But ymif you're yet not ready,
I will forever wait.

Talk to me once,
Like moon to the night.
I know it'll forever be my fault,
Will you leave me out of light ?

Will you ever forgive me ?
If I lift the blame.
If I tell you how sorry I am,
Will we ever be the same ?