words are so complicated when trying to describe someone who you really adore and admire
there are 26 letters in the English alphabet but why does it feel like there should be more?
so here are several reasons why i cherish bianca

number one: she is so understanding and easy to talk to, like at first i thought she was an untouchable force; some sort of female celestial being you know
i was shocked she followed me via twitter and that's how we met
we both were sad
yep, sad that's the word to describe it
a gloomy looming figure standing on top of your heart

number two: she told me who she wrote about, (i don't know if you remember lil' sunflower) but i asked her once
-and mind you, i was terrified of how she'd react because i was so interested and i usually ask other writers, poets, artists who they wrote about.
however, bianca answered truthfully and calmly
in fact she sad nobody asked her this before and i was perplexed why people didn't ask her before in the past

number three: she's like a sunflower,
why? she is such a darling, she's so sweet and she brightens the day by smiling right back at the sun. she needs to rest at night though, so she reads and listens to music and rests just like a sunflower
she also has a knack of cheering me up just like a sunflower

number four: this reason may be stupid but i actually remember her name, so many people i meet i forget their name quickly but hers sticked
i remember her, this is important: i feel like this is my subconscious trying to tell me something. it may seem farfetched but i believe she's special somehow, i may be crazy for saying this....but yeah lol

number five: she has goals in life
this darling has real aspirations in her time here, which i admire about her

number six: her fashion/makeup factor is so on point
we have similar tastes in fashion and makeup hence we watch the same youtubers and such, i really like this about her
it shows more of her quirky and interesting personality

number seven: lucky seven, she loves tea
i don't mean she just drinks it, she breathes tea,
we like the same types as well: none of that nasty berry tea (sorry)

number eight: she can understand me, she listens
bianca listens to my ridiculous little rants all the time even if they're stupid and tedious and i really thank her for this, i go to her when i feel like the four walls are closing in on me and she really does listen to what i have to say

number nine: we plan on meeting someday...
when we both gain some self-confidence and when a jolt of adrenaline kicks in, i'm super excited

number ten: i know there are more reasons but this is where this letter shall end today
she puts up with my stupid imessage not working and the dms on twitter suffice for our friendship, sigh it's annoying but true

i love you darling dear, i hope you have a wonderful night!!

sincerely,
Ria **

This might not be a poem: more so a realization at most. The complaints I have throughout the day are anything but morose. Walk an hour in another man's shoes, and suddenly life has so much more I could lose. Where could I be in that first step?

I could be standing in the flip flops of a beautiful friend , taking care of four children as a new widow.

I could be in sneakers as the man  selling newspapers in the desert heat day after day.

I could be in a different shoe every day, as a comedian loved by all, who could make everyone laugh, but himself.

I could be in heels in a doctors office, facing the reality of only a few months left.

But I'm not. My shoes are worn, but my heart is not. My days might be long, but my bed is warm. The jobs I work help keep our bills paid and our food plentiful.

I was going to complain today: but when I realized how beautiful today was, I had nothing to say.

Where could you be, in that first step?

Pain goes through me intensely
as I think
of all the times that I cherish
Suffering for joy
a gamble to be made
In order to shut off from the world
and dream of past better days
Perhaps it is the memories themselves
worn out
from keeping me happy
day after day
driving me to recreate
what cannot be done
once more
Perhaps it is time
to let go

Your lips,
trying to feel it
When I’m alone
All by myself
Imitating your moves
How it gives me chills
And sparks
I’m trippin’ now
All because of your lips
Your touch
How it felt
Your hands
How it caresses me
That caress
How it sends peace inside
Your eyes
The sincerity in it
Imagining you
In many ways
In this four cornered room
Those arms
Encircling me
When it get the chance
Those stares
Even when I try
Not to stare back
My body
Disapproving
Acting naturally
Cant seem to hold back
Looking at nowhere
Then, I see you
You got me bad
When I close my eyes
You lingers
At the back of my mind
You don’t know
How much You affects me
My guilty pleasure
I want to go away
………But I want you near me
Embracing you
Leaning on your shoulder
The comfort it gives
I am addicted
How not to want you
The force you had
The best one I dealt with
But I won’t call it love
You will not know
How I swiftly fell
…….At least not out loud

I spoke to a woman
Who had knocked on death's door,
Reminding me not to take
Walking for granted anymore.
I love a run in nature,
Zipping by the trees.
Scaring away the lizards;
No discomfort in my knees.
My very own mother herself
Has looked death in the eye;
What other lessons can I learn
Through life, the more I cry?

You hit me,
When I am the most vulnerable!
I cringe.
Yet,
Every time,
I get ready,
To cherish the pain.