You are broken somewhere
scattered pieces drifting
breath catching for a moment
just to borrow one more second of life.
And still you go on
still you walk beside life
as if it were an old companion.
You nod where others nod
matching their yes with your yes
half whole, half empty
carrying the weight of hollowness.
In night upon night, in day upon day
you balance the scales
paying with silence
with the left fragments of yourself.
I salute you,
for who else keeps moving like this?
If not good, then who is good?
If not you, then who?

you think i'm empty.
a broken code.
a *****, a waste
of human skin.
you say,
i'm too pretty
to be like this.

this isn't a choice.

i feel too much
for there to be space
for what you call
lust.

you don't need an apology.
no one does.
my brain is not a crime scene
for you to investigate,
neither is my heart.
you may think me cold
but you've never seen
the bonfire,
always kindling,
for the ones i keep close.

I know my memories not the greatest, but I would have sworn you made me a promise....
it was in the beginning of August
you told me you loved me, you'd never forsake me
the vows made in the moonlight, now they break me
don't you remember?
weren't you there too?
maybe it's my imagination thinking you had loved me
but you hands were all over me
the passenger seat?
the Sunday's?
your parent's back yard?
all of our secrets thrown around
didn't you mean it?
or maybe I dreamed it....

I was the one who showed you this place
it was only last summer
I remember your green shirt
how your mom was so excited
I texted you at noon, it was now sunset
we had sent so many messages, I knew we had to meet
the sky was pink and orange
you looked so perfect in this light
this was my first date
you ate the blueberry frozen yogurt, it was my favourite
the sun started setting
darkness was coming.
there were so many more dates
the one where you kissed me
told me I was perfect
but the august I think hated us
because everything started falling apart
there were no more late night drives
just lots of tears
and forgotten 'I love yous'
it was September second
and I really wished I never met you.
I wished we never got frozen yogurt

We are so different it’s kinda weird almost like chalk and cheese, wasnt expecting you to completely change after a month of not seeing you, it’s just the weirdest feeling knowing I’ve to let you go, because even speaking feels so hard and I feel like I’m talking to a wall.

But being honest I knew it was gonna happen, the two of us do nothing but snap, but now even trying to have a laugh everything feels fake, maybe keeping you around was a ******* mistake.

It shattered into a million pieces
Shot daggers through my heart
My brother and his anger
Watched his whole life fall apart

Bruised, broken, battered
the moon shone it's beam
Shot arrows off the glass
Aimed it's bow right at me

Silence stood in place
Where once their was a clatter
His ghost a solemn gray
A mug; my brother - shattered

the poem had started with that lump in my throat, so small at first but it grew and I thought it would stop eventually but the more I thought the more I gave it power and it was horrible.
it was a homesickness that crawled under my skin, screaming to escape....
like some sort of lovesick sailor alone at sea begging for someone to hear him but the only thing there was was the lonesome breeze
It's so hard to explain why it started but I know it had something to do with you....
the words were building up and up and up until I couldn't breathe I felt intoxicated, everything was fuzzy, getting dizzy
that little lump that started in my throat was now killing me
it was all because of our ending
such a lack of commitment and it broke my heart
there was no voice to scream anymore just the hallowed out lungs of someone who was forced to forget how to breathe