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Vish 6d
A message popped up on her screen-
"Wanna start over..?" (but it was never real).
She's been having this dream for 3 months 21 days 3 hours and 17 minutes and every second since they parted ways and it never came ,
he said he'll move on ,probably moved on by now but she never will.
She'll wait until death do them apart as they owed to each other.
She now realizes that it's the phase where reality hits right across your face and your heart is too stubborn to accept what your mind already knows and the pain slowly eats away the hope that he'll comeback to her one day, but not completely.
There's always this part of her that'll never allow her to move on, always  remembering the sweet guy she fell in love with, completely forgetting about how he left, choosing his family over her.
He'll never choose her and she'll never move on.
Some stories are meant to be incomplete yet eternal.
A bitter truth
The wind whispers softly to me                                                               ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
 Telling me how my life could be                                                                  ­                                                    
 A story unrehearsed                                                                          ­                                               
Love in every verse                                                                    ­                                                   
Of two who overcome                                                                            ­                      
the odds to falling in  love                                                                          ­                             
Gentle breeze , tell me more                                                                         ­                                                  
Let me know what love is for                                                                                 ­                                                      
I listen quietly every day                                                                          ­                                   
To hear if love is on the way                                                                     ­                                    
Even leaves fall in pairs                                                                          ­                                                     
It seems that love is everywhere       
                                                                                                    
Everywhere but here with me                                                                            ­                                                     
all alone under this old tree                                                                                                                                                      ­   
The wind caresses my skin                                                                  ­                                                    
Where loving hands could have been                                                                    ­                                              
Why must I be all alone                                                            ­                                                                 ­                    
I want a love of my own
I wrote this in 1990..I am so happy I saved all of my poetry for all these years. It's like stepping back in time. I am finally ready & in a good place to let all of this be viewed.
I call you up to hear your voice                                                            ­                                                  
I know it's lame; I have no choice                                                    
   Now what am I supposed to do?                                                              ­                                              
   It's all that I have left of you                                                              ­                                                   
 I know that it has been years                                                            ­                                                  
  But despite crying many tears                                                            ­                                                  
  They've never stopped or healed                                                           ­                                           
  My broken heart & how it feels                                                            ­                                                  
  Since the day you didn't come home                                                             ­                                                
  I 've left your voicemail on the phone                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Your things are how they were left                                                             ­                                                     
I haven't changed anything yet                                                              ­                                                   
    I just can't bring myself around                                                           ­                                               
 To the fact that you're in the ground                                                           ­                                       
Because I can feel you here with me                                                               ­                                              
 Exactly where I need you to be                                                               ­                                                     
   I have all the pictures you made                                                             ­                                                 
Been on the frig since second grade                                                            ­                                                  
   It's like you never went away                                                             ­                                           
  And I need it to stay that way                                                              ­                                         
 Your clothing still smells like you                                                              ­                                                   
I can't even clean your room                                                             ­                                                 
    I open the window each day                                                              ­                                               
 So, you can come in & play                                                             ­                                                 
  I still long to see your face                                                             ­                                                  
 I wish I could take your place                                                            ­                                              
  So young & carefree of heart                                                            ­                                                
Your passing tore me apart                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                    
It's something I can't accept                                                                      ­                                         Perhaps until my own death
I wrote this for my sister, when her 14-yr old daughter passed away.
I was the candle—slow to die,
dripping warmth while you passed by.
Each flicker fed your cold disguise,
your smile a moon behind closed skies.

I poured myself, a quiet stream,
into the vessel of your dream.
While I carved altars from my skin,
you cast your net to pull them in.

Your words were velvet dipped in steel,
a soft deceit I couldn't feel—
not until the silence grew
roots where blossoms never knew.

You held me not with touch, but tether,
a maybe laced in fair-weather.
I danced in rooms I thought were ours,
while you were planting foreign flowers.

You didn’t break me with your no—
it was your wait, your whispered go.
The little looks, the secret sighs,
the way you watched the open skies.

You smiled as though your soul had stayed,
but all the while, you had gently fade.
A ghost still warm, still holding hands,
while building castles in other lands.

And when the truth came crashing in—
not sharp, but slow beneath the skin—
I saw I had been the hook you had laid,
baited bright, then cast away.

Oh, karma walks in bare, soft feet,
but leaves a trail no one can cheat.
She takes her time, she doesn’t shout,
but turns your games inside out.

So when your glass house meets the stone,
and all your masks are overthrown—
remember me, the flame you drained,
the love you used but never named.

Yet I—
I rise from ash and bitter song,
the fire was mine all along.
No longer bait. No longer chained.
A storm unhooked. A soul unfeigned.
I know I was drawn to coming here                                                             ­                                               
to a dark room with a mind to
clear                                                            ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
I need some time to think about me                                                               ­                                            
                                                                 ­                                              
And find out what my life needs to be                                                               ­                                                          
 I have a habit of blaming myself                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                             
    Give all my love to everyone else                                                             ­                                                
   So, what I have been repressing                                                                  ­                                                
Has bubbled up & effervescing                                                     ­                                         
A hard battle that I have to win                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
   Am I worthy of self-forgiving?                                                                     ­                                                 
    It's time to let all the past go   
                                                                ­                                               
Less ebb & much more flow
You have taught me how to hate    
                                                                 ­                                                
You have yourself to congratulate                                                                    ­                         
 You showed me what would be my fate                                                                    ­                                           
 and it was more than I could take                                                                    ­                                                   
  I still gave you everything I had                                                                          ­                                                
 You left me holding an empty bag                                                                          ­                                              
 Now you have dug your own grave                                                                       ­                                                      
I hope when you crawl in, it caves                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
I have since removed my heart                                                                 
   You'll never get another part                                                                      ­                                         
   It is time you feel the loss                                                                              ­                             
   Miss all the love you've lost                                                             
                                                                ­                                             
 When you realize that you were wrong,                                                                    ­                                        
  I will already be long gone                                                                                                       ­  
And all the hate you showed to me                                                                      ­                                                 
Will come back on you times three
Eme Apr 9
It broke me in silence
To know he wasn’t aware
To pretend and lie to me
That I wasn’t truly loved
That he used me
That everything I felt was true
I was gaslit
I was duty
It was conditional
It was all a performance
He gave me crumbs to keeps me hoping
Words became empty
Because the actions weren’t there

Awakening to the reality
Of what was really happening
Broke me
And still I hoped he would change
I thought his patience meant he cared
It was to keep me quiet as he did what he wanted
He said why can’t I accept him as he is
I said I can’t betray myself anymore
You left when I needed you most                                                             ­                                        
   When I was desperate & needed hope                                                             ­                                               
You didn't think that I could cope                                                                   ­                                                 
But I made it & cut those ropes                                                            ­                                        
  Now that you see that I'm free                                                             ­                                                   
You suddenly still love me                                                                       ­                                               
Now who's desperate & pathetic                                                                       ­                            
  How does it feel to be rejected?                                                                        ­                                                 
  I'll do the best that you did for me.                                                                            ­                                                     
It doesn't take much to give nothing.
I don't love you, nor you me                                                               ­                                               
   We are fused together in misery                                                           ­                                       
   Once hidden from visibility                                                       ­                                         
Now we radiate hostility                                                        ­                                            
    No more I love You's are said,                                                            ­                                                
Insults get hurled instead                                                                          ­                                            
 Back-to-back we lay in bed                                                              ­                                    
 Wishing that the other was dead                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                      
A volcano ready to erupt                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Yet nothing left between us                                                                     ­                                            
  Makes me wonder if there ever was                                                                                                      
Except the hate I always got                                                                   ­    
It's sick, it's sad, it hurts so much                                                                      ­                                
 That I chose to hate over love
I have been spiraling down                                                                    ­                                 
Clawing at the muddy ground                                                           ­                                                              
 I pull myself up just to sink         
                                                                              ­                              
Always hanging on the brink                                                                       ­                                                    
  If I'd call for help, who'd hear                                                                     ­                                                  
  I'm all alone & my minds unclear                                                                     ­                                                    
 I scream in silence, so it seems                                                                    ­                                              
Haunted every night by dreams                                                                      ­                                                
   What is real & what is not                                                                        ­  
My pulse races, nerves are taut                                                             ­                                          
                                                                                                              
White knuckling through this life                                                             ­                                                                 ­                      
  Filled with pain, the future's blight                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I am a human stain bleeding out                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                 
 No tunnel light, just doubt                                                                     ­                                                     
I 'm dead inside & life is hell                                                                      ­                                                 
This is the hand I have been dealt
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