Honesty hurts,
Omission stings,
Regret burns,
so I balm the what if.

Answers:

"I'm here if you need me."

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"I think we need to talk."

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"I'm sorry, I think we need to talk about this."

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"Do I know anything true about you?"

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"I called them. I'm sorry."

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"Well I did it again, I had to, it never ends."

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"Maybe we can't do anything, but I'm still here."

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"I met someone... else."

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"We broke up, I wasn't going to leave anyway."

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"Hey, I love you."

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"Do you hate me? Why do you do this?"

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"I don't believe you."

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"Its me as well."

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"I don't believe you. I'm sorry, but, I don't."

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"Take care."

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"I told them, I had to, I'm sorry, I'm worried, what if it... I know you trusted me but some things overwrite trust."

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phantom touches across time and space,
we walk the tight tropes in between worlds,
the lines of acrylic is only paint after all,
the future is a facsimile of our minds,
the branches rot and stunt themselves to please us,
impossibilities fuel an eager mind,

Answers:

"everyone you have ever met is in black and white,
we hear them in stereo,
the voices mingle and copulate whilst we still embrace,

still,
embrace."

Answers:

"Nothing lasts forever,
but I don't care,
because best friends forever,
is ******* magic,
so I'm not leaving."

Answers:

I never told you.
I never will.
But some things are best left in print.

Are these the answers
That I didn't want
That I didn't need
Are these the answers
That could save my sanity

Are these the answers
That I searched high and low
That I gave up on
Are these the answers
To questions long ago asked

All I know is
That these answers
I knew I would find
Whether I looked for them or not
Now that I got them I'm even more lost

I can't forgive her
I can't love her
I hate her with everything I have
Now I have more questions
And the answers I'm not ready for

I told her to answer one question
The answer determined
Whether I could forgive her or not
But all she did was remain silent
Refusing to answer

Are these the answers
To questions not yet asked
That I refuse to ask
Are these the answers
That could fix my heart

Are these the answers
To questions I needed to ask
To questions I knew would hurt
Are these the answers
To questions asked for decades

All I need her to know
Is that when I needed her
She wasn't there
So now I don't need her
Nor will I ever need her

She's just an image
A target for my anger
The cause for my hatred
She's the reason I'm scared to let you in
She's the reason my walls are up

Are these the answers
To the questions you ask
To the questions you wanted answered
Are these the answers
That could bring us longer

We as humans love and crave answers
We search and search until we finally find
What we think we have been looking for
We need answers to the questions we have
Like we need air to breathe
It seems we cant live without them

But that begs the question
Is it better to have the answers?
Or is it better to let our mind wander
And create what we want to hear?

I cannot decide which is worse
To be trapped in the unknown
With you mind spiraling
Searching for anything to hold onto
Anything that will make it all make sense
Or is it better to know why someone walked away?
Why someone suddenly began to question everything?

I don’t know to tell you the truth
Because yesterday I sat lost
Unable to focus on anything
Or eat
My mind racing
Trying to think of every explanation for why
You would need your space from me
And then see you with everyone else
Going all these places and doing all these things
I start to question what I did
If there is someone else
If you lost feelings

So I wonder then, about today
Knowing why
Having the answers
Is it better
Knowing that you are scared we rushed things
Scared we are in too deep
And thats dangerous
Scared that you weren’t ready
Scared you don’t know how to be alone
And I get all that I do
But why make me fall in love
Why do you realize this now
After you said you can see forever with me
After you make me fall in total and absolute love with you
Why now do you think it is not right
Why do you need space now
After you said you don’t need a piece of paper to tell you
We are married
And in love
Why?
I beg you
For any sort of answer
Because the one you gave was not enough
And I fear that every answer will never be enough
They will only lead to more questions
And I will forever be lost of why
You would let us fall this hard
Why you would tell me I am your soulmate
If you did not want something serious
Why
Why would you do this to me
And hurt me like this
I have done nothing but love you
And stand by your side
And you betray me like this

So I ask you
Wherever you are
Reading this
Think before you ask people
Think if you can handle to answers to the questions
You so desperatley want the answers to
Take a minute and ask yourself
If your heart needs to hear the words
You so longingly want
Because my dear
Sometimes you cannot handle them
So the universe leaves you confused
And wondering
Searing for a tiny string
Hoping it will unravel the great mystery
Of love
And yet it never does
And you are holding on to that string
Tighter and longer than we all know you should

So I propose instead
Let go of the questions
And accept the word as it is
Ignore that human desire
That is so innate and deep inside of us
And stop asking
Stop begging
And searching for these questions
We all know we don’t want to hear the answers to
And accept the unknown
Is a comfortable place to be
Whereas the string we cling to is painful and dangerous
And look to the future
With hope and excitement
Because my dear, if it was love
If it was as great as your heart imagined it was
It will be answered in great time
You will not be searching for answers
As they will be in front of your face
They will not be hiding between stolen glances
And mixed signals
They will not be lurking in the depths of the night
Or angry text messages and dreaded calls
They will not be tangled up in lies and deceit
They will not be mixed in toxic potions that lead you to
Places you were never meant to me
They will find you in great time
And the best thing you can do is not wait for them
But rather live your life
As if you have your life answered
As if you have but not a single question about this universe
Because the answers will find you
They will shine brighter and more beautiful than  
The sun while it is coming up in the morning
And casts a warm glow on the world
Chase that glow
The peace that surrounds you and the world
When the day and young and new
And full of possibilities and life

Do not wait through the night
For answers that do not want you
That will never find you nor please you
Accept the world as it is
And find that glow within yourself
As it has always been

And if you do that
You will no longer chase meaningless answers
You will begin to chase the insatiable
And ever addicting love of life