i hope everything is okay
i still worry about you
i engraved you in my heart
you're still one of my first thoughts in the morning
i want to be normal friends
i miss the conversation
how's your girlfriend
i hope you're happy with her
how's the family
i hope they're well too
i hate how awkward we are now
anyways
i hope you're doing well
i am i promise

s.s

i. when you're no longer excited to see them and the butterflies don't make an appearance, instead you feel empty

ii. when their flaws are no longer perfect, they're just that; flaws 

iii. when a future with them is no longer in your plans, it's just a silly thought you laugh at, something long gone

iv. when you no longer dream of them, but they might creep into your nightmares

v. when the space with them no longer feels comfortable, it feels like secrets are hiding, waiting to fall out

s.s

i am over you

head over heals
or over your existence

depends

s.s

don't forget me
p l e a s e

s.s

come
make me forget you

just
you
and
i
step close
look me in the eyes

see the fire in them?
it still burns your name
prepare to put it out

lean in
close
just close enough
to get my heart racing
and whisper
"i don't love you anymore"
like it's nothing
matter of fact
mundane
because that's all it is
right?

s.s

love is patient?
love is kind?
love is the most beautiful load of ******* i've ever encountered
and it is only kind
until it is gone
then my dear
love is haunting

s.s

i don't know what i'm feeling

nothing makes sense
it all contradicts

one day you miss me
one day you forget me
one day i can't stand you
one day i just crave you

you can't even make up your mind
how am i supposed to make up mine

i hate you
i adore you
i want none of you
i want more of you

why the **** do i still love you
why the **** can't i let go of you

s.s

intoxicated
it's easy to forget you

sober
you're all i think about

clear choice isn't it?

frankly,
i miss you

i miss you
i miss you
i miss you

i should forget you
better off without you?
why can't i shake you
i need to forget you

but i don't want to
it's something i can't do
soon i'll unlove you
but right now, i miss you

s.s

my lovely boy
you look so pretty when you lie
it's a shame
you had to be
such trouble

s.s

is it pathetic
that i would still be there
if you ever needed me

s.s

congratulations
you did it
you found the last straw
my breaking point
you lost me
and probably didn't deserve me anyways

s.s

you lost someone
who only wanted
to give you the world
i hope the thought
of destroying someone
who cared more about you
than any of your friends
keeps you up at night
i wanted you to be happy
they use you to get high
i hope you feel awful
for being an *******
and not just being
honest
i hope this hurts
it should

s.s

i don't love you
i have finally given up
i hope that hurts

s.s

i may fall
with pretty people
who whisper sweet nothings
in between bed sheets
as soft as their skin
pressed bodies
to help forget
but i will fall
in lust
not love

s.s

that is the scary part of love
you are allowing
someone to change you
but my god darling
you were my metamorphosis

s.s

you were the best mistake
i've ever made
and i couldn't have asked
to fall in love
with anyone
better

s.s

here we are
on this crazy ride
an end fast approaching
and i don't want to get off
but eventually
i'll have to feel solid ground
and i've always been afraid of heights
but you are worth falling for
you are something i'll never forget
i'll never regret
you are worth every second
an adrenaline rush
and a safety harness
all at once
and i wish we had
endless time
and our thrills
weren't so hopeless

s.s

you dont have to be a writer to be a poet

you write poetry with the tears that glaze your eyes at three in the morning
you write poetry with the sound of your laugh and how your lips frame a smile
you write poetry with the eyelashes you bat at your lover
you write poetry with the words you whisper into their skin
you write poetry with the way your chest falls and rises with every breath you take

you dont have to put ink on paper
to be a poet
you just have to live

s.s

pull you close
grab my waist
rest my hands
on your face
kiss you slow
close embrace
lift me up
wearing lace
hands will drift
press and trace
melting with
the sweet taste
love on lips
time to waste
you and i
in this place

s.s

love
with a reckless abandon
think less
feel more
live in this moment
without fretting
about what is to come

s.s

don't fall in love

it is a chemical chaos
out of your hands
where nothing ever goes
according to your plans

you're giving your heart
to someone new
my love, people are clumsy
their words aren't always true

s.s

you look so lovely
when you lie
keep saying you love me
till the day i die

s.s

perhaps
we always drift together
because our hearts
know more
than our minds

s.s

one day

you will kiss the love of your life and fall asleep in their arms holding you tight because you finally have each other  

you will wake up late on a sunday to their face and it will be more stunning than the sunrise you missed

you will get dressed, watch them fix their bed head, and think to yourself how lucky you are to have someone so perfect

you will go on adventures and do all of the things you dreamt about

you will come home, to your home together, and get high on the kitchen floor laughing until you can't breathe

you will undress each other and kiss the body you've fallen for

you will lay tangled in blankets and their limbs and drift to sleep, only to do it all again tomorrow

one day
it will be worth it
the fighting, the pain, the break ups and makeups, the confusion, the mess
one day it will all make sense
and one day
you will both be happy

s.s

she carried reminders of him with her
memories in her head and old keepsakes of the past

like a promise ring on your hand
polaroid in your wallet
his old clothes with his scent lingering
a love letter in your back pocket

these little reminders
that love exists
she kept them close
so she wouldn't forget
that love is there
beyond the struggle
and no matter the outcome
it will live eternally
in the memories
created

s.s

him and i
love
like the sun in the sky

one moment we rise up
in colors so stunning
you can’t peel your eyes away

one moment we sink down
below the horizon
creating endless darkness

over and over
we are a cycle
of light
and the lack of it

we will either chase the sun
around the globe
to never see it set
or watch it explode
a dying star
and give in to a dark end

s.s

i'm tired of writing
or tired of living

either way
nothing sounds right
fits right
feels right

it's all
choppy sentences
choppy breaths
all not good enough
all just a mess

s.s

the devil
is a pretty lover
with kind eyes
a warm touch
and a hypnotic beating heart
who says they love you
but then leaves
and takes your fragile heart

s.s

i don’t want to just be your friend

i want to be the person you wake up to in the morning

to kiss your body on bad days and make you feel good when you don’t

i want to tell you to come home rather than come over

to be the girl you tell your friends and family about

to drive with the windows down listening to you sing your favorite songs

i want to get high with you on lazy sundays then make breakfast in our underwear

i don’t want to just be your friend
i want to be one of your best friends you fall in love with

s.s

if you need me
i will be far away
dancing in drug induced dreams
with lost loves
and missed memories
in the comfortable coma
of mind altering bliss

s.s

i think i deserve
more than a secret randevu

if you can risk it
for a good ****
and conversations
no one but ourselves will hear
why can’t you risk it
for all of me
for a relationship
we’ve spent this long fighting for

it’s degrading
i’m just the girl
you undress
when no one is looking
because i’m good
but not good enough
for more
not anymore

s.s

you love my younger sister
more than me
and make no attempt to hide it
but i don't mind
because i love my father
more than you
and make no attempt to hide it

i've spent so long trying to please you
but it is never good enough
and i love you because i have to

i am tired of being ridiculed
oppressed and frowned upon
to the point where
when i think of all the awful things about myself
your voice is the first in my head

i dont care if you dont like me
if i disappoint you
if im not good enough for you
because i have plenty of people in my life
that i am enough for
i don't need your approval
and i don't need to fear you

so you can keep drinking
keep losing your sanity over simple things
keep being the bipolar ***** you've become
but my sister will keep hating you
and she will tell me how awful you make her feel
i will keep being the one there to fix what you break
and your husband will keep talking to me
rather than you
about the stress and problems he's facing
and how he can't even sleep at night because life is overwhelming
and i'll keep listening
and paying more attention to what he says than you do

motherhood is a special thing
i won't **** it up when i get there
i won't be like you

s.s

love, what do you want
in your heart what would you choose
to be happy, right?

i crave you
like an addict
searching for their fix
oh sweetheart
relapse
has never tasted so sweet

s.s

people change everyday
so i vow to fall in love with you
every time the sun rises

s.s

she forgot how good
it feels to forget

s.s

you're losing me
fast

everyday my hope for us
diminishes
and a future between us
lessens  
the crave to be close
crumbles

i want to be yours
you be mine
and for it to be public
not quick arm brushes
and afternoon visits

i love you
and you're losing me
i think i lost you long ago
what are we, i don't even know

i want to stick around
to wait it out
but more than that, i want to be together
the title we once had
and everyday
i believe a little more
that it's a hopeless cause
and i can feel myself giving up

you still have my heart
and i love you no less
but i can feel the final end approaching

i miss the small things
holding your hand, soft kisses, and tight hugs
just talking and calling you when i can't sleep
i miss you

i want us more than anything
but i fear being ****** over
why am i holding on to something
that's ended
maybe because i can't get over you

you're losing me
faster than i care for
does that mean anything to you

s.s

i want to get high in foreign cities
travel to places i have yet to lay my eyes on
pack a bag and take off, my only motive to feel free
i want to kiss lovers on pavement my toes have never touched
beneath trees rooted with legends in their leaves
ensuring everlasting love
and i want to feel light, rather than weighed down
anchored to one small town
i want to drop everything and get away
to places where time is altered
and the stars are always present
whether it be in the night sky or people's eyes
i want to fall in love with strangers, cities, and scenes
i crave so deeply to feel free
to start anew

but at the same time
i want you to come too

s.s

create poetry
with your lips pressed together
love is the best art

s.s

she was an angel
with a grin of utter gold
and voice honey sweet

s.s

these bruises
are beautiful
in a bad way

their pain
paints proof
of precious life
in delicate pops
of purples and blues

s.s

flipping pennies
into wishing wells
i still hope
for you

s.s

no need to stress
about the other boys eyes
if they look at me
in ways you’d despise

because they can look
all they please
but i much rather
it be you gazing at me

s.s

you still give me butterflies
and make me grin
uncontrollably

s.s

her grin felt like sunshine
and his laugh sounded like gentle waves
together they were easy summer living
the happy high people strive for

s.s

she reassured herself
“i don’t miss you”
as she traced her skin and empty bed sheets
both would feel better with him
she made herself grin
ignoring the empty feeling of an empty room
“i don’t miss you, i don’t miss you, i don’t miss
you”

s.s

blowing out candles 
making wishes 
for another year 
for it to be lovely 
fulfilling easy living 
and full of cheer

s.s

he helped build her confidence
like roman architecture
awe worthy and unwavering
then he left
but she knew
she was not worth any less
just as the ruins of pompeii
are still admired
and the colosseum
still stands tall
even if broken
they are still beautiful
so even through
she feels broken
she knows
she is still beautiful

you did nothing wrong

i broke my own heart
in believing
you’d be different this time
that you cared enough
to stay

s.s