The light inside
Of me
Was burning, learning
How to write, despite
The fire was strong
Someone came along, among
Bad choices
Screaming noises

He whom turned of my light,
He led me to fight
All the writing,
Done, on display
He took it, and ripped it away, today
I feel like I should have fought more, war
Should have begun,
Poems should have sung
Several fires would have stung

Sitting here, looking back on what I could have had
Now I have 13 poems
And a fire, half ignited
Could you maybe help me, light it?

Music from my phone, my alarm
Panic thoughts emerges from my head and i know im awake
Stand up, go in to the kitchen, see the pills, i intake
My eyes are still drowsy and swollen from last nights tears
Not ready for a new days thoughts and fears
I get ready, run out the door
My sparkle for life is gone, more than ever before
So i get to school looking like af mess
I know my friends will ask, but im too tired to confess
"Everything is alright dont you worry"
Red alarm lights in my head, and i scurry
Home, lie down, breathe in, breathe out
Just want the voices in my head to stop the screams and the shouts.

I met with the devil, several
Times I thought I was developing in revel
Even though i was caught in the same level
Of misery and miss behaves, gravel
In my lungs, gravel
Over me, and I see
Nothing else to live for in me

If our bodies
Were only made
Of floating heads
I sure as hell
Wouldn't have survived

My head
Would have blown up
In a thousand pieces
Because of
The millions of thoughts
It couldn't contain

Floating heads
Means floating thoughts
But to many floating thoughts
Are to heavy to be floating
And heavy thoughts
Means a heavy head
It hits the ground
from where
it rised so many times before
maybe it can do it
once more

My lungs are screaming
But I don't dare to open my mouth
Because the sound of a scream
Filled with sorrow
Loneliness
Pain
Is truly the most horrifying thing
Anyone could ever experience

Its a weird thing when you are constantly worried of dying
And then constantly worry about not dying
I wake up, alive, and i ask myself why
But then at the same time i fear dying everytime i step up on my bike
Its a weird thing
Life
Life is a weird thing
But i guess we have to deal with the hand we're dealt.

I don't know which year I died
If it was when my mom tried to pick me up in kindergarden, but was to drunk to take me home
Several times
Or if it was when I had no friends and got bullied every day
But I sure as hell do know one thing for sure
I revived from the dead
I raised from my grave
stood with broken bones
Dried blood
And scars
I will have these scars for life
But today, I realized
This makes me who I am
And I'm **** proud of myself
Because I survived.

I opened a book
A book full of my feelings and emotions
But when I tried to show you
All there was
Were blank pages

Weekday drinking
With you
It's stupid
But we do so many stupid things together
So this can't be that bad
Weekday drinking
I don't see you everyday
Anymore
I miss you in the weekends
So we bring the weekend to us
Just a little earlier
Weekday drinking*
Something I only wanna do with you
You and I
I love you infinity