I walk among the shattered glass
glass that mirrors
my broken past.
I step and walk and run and cry
Above, below and right beside
The way I used to feel
back then
How I would wish
For my own end.

His name melted
in my mouth
every time the words
left my lips
and my tongue
and my teeth
and my heart

Hurting you would take years to get over
Id drown from guilt and tears
Darling if I were to hurt you
Trust me I'd never write again
because the words
I would jot down
On that napkin I picked up from Starbucks
Would never be as sweet
As you had been to me.

I buy how-to books on a lot of things
How to cook
How to clean
How to host a dinner party

I know how to love
and how to make 3 cheese lasagna
and how to remove stains
But I do not know how to hate

I wish I had a book
on how to loathe people who hurt me
Written for dummy's
or by Martha Stewart

You hurt me.
But I cant hate you.
For I don't have a book on how to be mad
at you.

And so I will never learn.
Because I will forever
and I will always
be in the wrong.

She must've gotten tired
of slicing her wrists with razors
And setting fire to her skin
So she burned herself on lovers
And cut herself on friends

I'm shivering of cold
and I don't know if it's the fan
turned on in my room
or rather
the absence of you

I know a girl who cut her hair short
My freshman year
Because a boy had pulled it so hard it
tore out her heart

I know a girl who cut her wrists
When we were in 8th grade
Because her mind was not good enough
For her boyfriend.

I know a girl who cut class
My sophomore year
To ***** a senior
Who had ****** every girl in the school
"except me" she said
"We make love" She said.

"We were great" She said.

"We weren't meant to be." She says.

your cigarette smoke
floats into my lungs
and out chokes
everything i meant to tell you
hours ago
when things could get better

but now your cigarette smoke
took a year off of my life
and a chunk of my heart
as i suffocate
under your presence

I will drown
in whiskey like
I drowned
in you
I will tear
my heart to shreds
ripping the same seams
you sewed yourself in through
I will kiss goodbye
Like your lips kissed my thighs
They say the end is 6 feet under
but mine is only 25.4 ounces away