The word ***** spills,
like a volcano erupting,
Unaware of the consequences.
I watch the destruction,
too distracted to see why,
a mind full of noise.
I stand back and surrender,
letting the chaos in.
I hid within its walls,
locking myself away,
too scared to be.
Only finding solace in the abyss.

In that moment my body felt
t i r ed.
NO
Not tired,
Tired is not what

T
H
I
S
Feels like.
In that moment my body was not my own,
it didn't feel like mine,
it was D I R T Y,
it was foreign,
it was

WRONG.

The water washed over my alien body,
rinsing away the smell,
the touch,
the pain.

But left the trauma.
Unable to comfort this new me,
crimson flowed instead.
A scar now permanent.

How enticing the dark can be,
to stay comforted by it.
Letting it overcome your essence,
losing sight of the fire.
Consumed by its emptiness,
feeling nothing but numb.
Forgetting why you fought,
to escape.
The void,
Ever present.
The cold comfort of the abyss,
staring back as it grips on tight.
Seeping in,
Every pore.
Comfort is not always welcome,
but awaits always.

I know there are times,
I keep you at arms length.
Afraid to let you in,
To see a man so broken.
Never want to let you down,
Hidden behind walls built so high.

One by one the bricks come falling down,
Yet one by one they go back up.
Will this wall ever come down,
Baby don't stop trying.
Find the real me,
Hidden away so broken.

Look into my eyes and see,
The pain of man so far gone.
Hold my hand baby please,
Break through the hurt and dark.
Never want to let you down,
Lost behind these walls.


One by one the bricks come falling down,
Yet one by one they go back up.
Will this wall ever come down,
Baby don't stop trying.
Find the real me,
Hidden away so broken.

Look into my eyes,
And you'll see.
The spark you set within,
Waiting to be set free.
Hold me close baby,
Help me break free...

The tear clings,
As the breath stings.
Cold and unnerving,
Alone and undeserving.
Lost beneath the tide,
Unable to hide.
The emotion that it brings.
Where do I run?
When there is no more sun.
Stolen by the enemy,
Nothing left to see.
All that is left is the shining moon,
Guiding and bringing hope,
To those that have lost all.

The darkness slowly creeps,
Seeping into every opening.
Filling my body,
Halting my breathing.
Dimming my eyesight,
Making it hard to see.
This abyss that takes over,
Separating me from life.
Undermining my common sense,
As my anxiety rises.
I shut my eyes,
Release this darkness,
And remember who I am.

Let me stay one more minute,
To stare into the night,
Feel the cold on my skin,
The breeze through my hair.
Give me a minute to embrace this new me,
Just a moment,
To release the pain,
Into this new dawn.
Hold me just one more minute,
As my scars fade away,
And my tears disappear,
Into the darkness.

A fleeting moment of happiness,
Floating into the dark abyss.
Unable to grasp the last of it,
Praying it will soon return.
This repeating cycle of darkness,
Comes and goes without warning.
Pushing life to its limits,
As we hide behind smiles,
That mean little to the outside world.
A sign were okay in some way,
Hiding the black that hovers in us.
The black that always resides,
Leaving only briefly.
And as happiness surrenders to it,
We become a shell of ourselves,
Hoping we can retain a sense of us,
A sense of what it is to be happy.

Haunted by dreams that never were,
Plagued by your existence.
Once I was lost in you,
Naive to think it was true.
You Burned yourself into my heart,
Infecting my very core.
Just to leave me stranded,
As you laughed at my despair.
A demon in disguise you were,
Only there to cause pain and sorrow.
Years may have gone by,
And yet you affect me still.
A curse upon my life,
Making it trying for new love to grow.
But blossom that love did,
Despite the way you left me.
Even now it strengthens me,
Overcoming what you destroyed.

Once I prayed to be only yours,
To be held in your arms,
Safe and free from harm.
I felt complete by your touch.
That fire in your eyes that only I saw,
Seem to fade with each passing moment.
That day we met,
Time seemed so still and perfect.
A stranger from across the room,
That is what you were.
Soon to be a part of my life,
Forever changing it.
The way I fell for you,
Not able to explain.
The words you spoke,
Too good to be true.
And yet something I knew,
Something deep inside.
That night you lied,
Hid from the world,
Hid from me.
But even then I knew.
The happiness faded,
And the fears grew.
For so long I denied the truth,
Prayed it wasn't you.
But your eyes told me different,
Something you failed to realize.
That night you told me,
That night I died.
Nothing seemed real,
Like a dream you cannot wake from.
But your words pierced like knives,
The end near.
Tears filled these eyes,
As you watched me helpless.
I hated you for what you did.
You thought I could heal,
Not knowing my truth.
Not even now do you know,
The truth I hid,
The lies that I tried to disguise.
The fire died,
The flame expelled by your actions.
Now your back,
Wanting what I can't give.
Always will I care for you my friend,
Always will I remember.
For you I hope,
For you I dream.
For you I wish,
But for me,
I can only hope……

Solace is my only friend,  
Comforting me once more.
Afraid of whats to come,
Ready to lay down my fate.
Even in my sleep,
Dreams of you haunt me still.

To many tears I've cried,
Over something that's gone.

Behind these closed eyes,
Remains your face,
Ever  a haunting present.
Always will I love you,
Though it may hide behind tears.
Hating you seems to be,
Easier then admitting I miss you.

Staring at the open space,
Feeling so out of place.
No where to run,
No where to turn,
No where to hide,
How can this be,  
So take this fear,
Push it aside,
Got to decide,
Just who to be.

Been so many people,
Don't know who I am.
Turned inside out,
Haven't made a plan.
So much to say,  
So much see,  
How can this be,
Am I really me?

Crying deep inside,
Push away the tears,
Being strong
Like I got be,  
Just tell me please,
How can this be,  
The right time and place,
Just holding on,
To what I know,
Trying to please.

Been so many people,
Don't know who I am.
Turned inside out,
Haven't made a plan.
So much to say,  
So much see,  
How can this be,
Am I really me.

In my dreams,  
It was always you and I,
You and I always.  
Yet things seem to change,
A dream cannot stay forever,
It drifts away as morning comes.
And as the day comes and goes,
The dream fades from memory,
And is forgotten just the same.
Our nights have long since passed,
But as the darkness of sleep comes,
The dream returns to haunt this peaceful mind.

This old House,
Now decrepit and haunted.
Once lush,
with hope and excitement.
Washed away by time,
Forgotten like an old memory.
The once lavish halls,
Dulled and musty.
Time bested this place,
Lonely and still.
Cobwebs comb the building,
Showing signs of discontent.
Clouds mull around above,
Mocking this great place.
Alone is the forest,
That now owns the land.
How long,
Will this place last.
Screams of despair can be heard,
Haunted by memories.
Littered with broken dreams,
And scattered promises.
This old house,
Crumbling down.
Can it be salvaged,
Or is it forever doomed?

This is for you,
You who felt like the world was trying to smother you out of existence,  
you who felt the pressure to be the same even though we are all different,
you who was ridiculed and abused because of something you could not control,
you who needed to be free even as you were caged and shackled,
you who felt invisible and alone,
you who felt the need to apologize for who you were,
you who felt the pain was to much to bear,
you who felt the need to take a blade to your skin,
you who tried to numb the world into a blur,
you who were left broken and shattered,
You are a part of me as much as i am a part of you,
You who denied those who tried to bring you down,
you who defied gravity and took flight,
you who found yourself in the mist of despair,
you who are different and proud,
you who are once again whole,
you who found love in the end,
I am you and you are me,
This is for you...