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Mar 2017 · 681
half & half
shåi Mar 2017
running
but
i can never hide
always looking
for the door i can never find

love
rather
than paid in kind

it thrives in one
who keeps their dreams
always in mind

meanings bursting
at the seams
never exactly what it seemed

loss of self
or
loss of reality

the unknown ever
so enticing-
it was my poison

(b.d.s.)
Mar 2017 · 259
indelible fantasies--
shåi Mar 2017
i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its words lightly caress
the body that once felt

i made love to your poetry
and it made love to me
its dead verses
filled a body so insensate

i made love to your poetry
and it didnt make love to me
meaningless letters
had only resided

   within the deepest depths
                                      and corners of
                                                             my murky  m  i  n  d  ...
                      ­                                      (b.d.s.)
Mar 2017 · 287
please hold...
shåi Mar 2017
life is like
a phone line
constantly waiting
for an answer

we look for a giver
but have we just
been our own
receiver?

who may be at the other end?
what lies before us?

the harsh unknown
and its unseething silence
thumping as its own
beating heart

will we continue to wait
for life's last ring
to make its final heartbeat?
(b.d.s.)
thank you for the reception on my last poem!!
Mar 2017 · 574
the beast of the dead poet
shåi Mar 2017
there is a beast
that lies in a poet

it ***** the emotion
out of me
its face i can hardly see

pain was its great feat

i am his for the taking
love, he had been making

but was it really love?

the beast made me blind
to the pain i cant find
a tragic bind

the beast
renders me lost
afraid and broken
however,
love from it
was something i always sought

(b.d.s.)
thanks for the reception on my last poem!!
Mar 2017 · 811
/love translation/
shåi Mar 2017
lucid trepidation
lost in translation
falling into confusion
further into oblivion

mixed languages
complex sentences
decoded puzzles
emotions subtle

i spoke
but was not heard
i loved
and was not loved

invisible phrases
lost hope
speaking in tongues
never understood

the flaw of the system
or the flaw of myself?


i rather the contrary,
but i am not so sure anymore...
(b.d.s.)
i post now on the odyssey too!! link coming soon :)
Dec 2016 · 212
lucid fantasies.
shåi Dec 2016
alone in the garden
rejuvenated in the
love for words

i am reborn again
pen to paper
and i am released
taking off into worlds

the adrenaline
is my morphine
numbs and succumbs me
to only my feelings

the real world
does not exist
ethereal planes
are my new reality

faint voices
sing of the desires
locked in my soul
(b.d.s.)
sotp: turning tricks // pearl
Sep 2016 · 420
pleasure state.
shåi Sep 2016
you are
my sanctuary
my oasis of infinite
love

bathe me
in love
shelter me
from the darkness

that i've always known

my sanctuary
my love
everything
and nothing

my constant
my variable
pleasure
and desires

wash over me
so i may find
the beauty behind
the contrast
sotp: never coming back : pearl
today is my birthday!!
Aug 2016 · 386
(clarity)
shåi Aug 2016
reality has been
my anesthesia
swooning me over


it has taken over
numbs me to love
my feelings

i want to feel again
but i feel as if
i cant let myself

i want clarity
more than anything
a cluttered mind
does not dream

my dreams are my escape
my freedom
my key to worlds unknown

reality
only confined to the
ends of earth

but dreams last
forever.
(b.d.s.)
sotp: too much // pearl
Jul 2016 · 609
question or answer...?
shåi Jul 2016
do people fall in love
or
does love fall in people?
(b.d.s.)
sotp: lifted-palmistry
May 2016 · 886
permeate.
shåi May 2016
i screamed into the empty void
all alone
paranoid of everything

the emptiness
moaned back at me
its nature
making me its slave

my dreams
shredded me apart
piece by piece
made me weak

my thoughts haunt me
they are my inner demon
screaming into
worlds unknown
(b.d.s.)
sotop: dreams-pearl
Apr 2016 · 457
pauses.
shåi Apr 2016
two bodies
pausing in virtual realities
colors tangle
as love falls

effortlessly.

(b.d.s.)
sotp: we were in love - ta-ku
Apr 2016 · 356
outbursts (15w)
shåi Apr 2016
emotions leaking
out
like a dripping faucet
losing
drops of reality
as a second
passes

(b.d.s.)
hope you all are doing well!!
sotp: we were in love // ta-ku
Mar 2016 · 383
pandora's box
shåi Mar 2016
a box of light
trapped with fate and love
one path
infinite destinies

chosen
wanted
and loved
lay it all on the line
for it to be forever returned

suddenly,

it is all clear
it has been all the time
blinded by fate
but deciphered by love
(b.d.s.)
sotp: mountain// halfnoise
Mar 2016 · 863
rated x
shåi Mar 2016
i made love to the beach
and i thought of you
its airy wind reminded me
of the time you came and went

i made love to the wind
for it sprinkled over me
like a thousand winters
harsh and cold

i made love to the sun
again and again
forever addicted
souls forever mended

i made love to the sky
for it loved me so effortlessly
it had been my morphine
just like how you used to be

(b.d.s.)
should i start to put song recommendations in here?
sotp: walk away // jmsn
Feb 2016 · 1.5k
torn. (a collaboration)
shåi Feb 2016
darling daughter, dad has left us
he says he won't be coming back
it's not your fault or burden, dear
a spell has made him lose his track

my dear mother,
the pain lacerates my heart
his leftover ***** rips my soul
and forever empties my heart of love

love is a concept
a figment of imagination
but does it truly exist
when i am here?


my heart's tearing too, my sweet
but i'd nimbly endure its double
if i could shield you from its cause
to spare you all grief's trouble

let's not give up on love, my girl
these aching holes in us are proof
we're made to seek its filling warmth
and to nest beneath its sheltering roof

your daddy's soul is broken too
like a well that's leaked all its water
plagued with a thirst he can't ignore
and demons he's out to slaughter

but mother,

is it so when
our hearts are ripped
from every corner of our soul,
we turn into unforseen beasts?

the pain seeps
into me like
some sort of poison
i can't control

my walls are broken
how can i ever mend
against a resistance
intent on pursuit of troubles


you weep with the spirit of asaph
who lamented in psalm seventy-three
of emerging a beast in his grieving
embittered by frail men's iniquity

he learned that the path to his healing
was sufficiently wrapped in God's love
that when all on the earth had failed him
perfection reached down from above

the spirits of lost winds
plague him
as he's filled and perforated
with fury


i've pleaded with his spirits
but they've forsaken him
continuously receded
and left his body


he shook hands
with the innermost depths
of his cold heart
and can't be freed


so maybe his leaving us is his love
to protect us from his deep torment
i know it's not right, but in his own way
feeling without him we'd be more content

i pray he'll find solace in God's grace
and the power that sets free a captive
for there's nothing of mortal persuasion
to redeem fallen souls unadaptive

if not for Christ's paschal atonement
no man could escape hellish rage
and except for His Spirit's blowing
we'd all be locked up in death's cage

no man has encountered more fury
than this One who was torn for us
marred beyond human recognition
to bear sin and shame on the cross*

i guess, mother
it's now time to leave
who he was
to what he has become


the path has been
divided into two
as if it were separate worlds
but the hell is all but subsided


(b.d.s.)
Here is my long awaited poem project with the absolutely amazing alyssa :) she is such an amazing person and allowed for me to come out of my comfort zone to write this :) i am beyond proud of this piece :)
Feb 2016 · 359
()
shåi Feb 2016
()
i miss the way
you used your words
to be such a passionate
gift

they clung to me like raindrops
on a rainy day
i bathed myself
in them
in fear
that a day like this may
never come again

and it truly didnt
the raindrops didnt quite
fall in the same soft manner
as  they once did
(b.d.s.)
UPCOMING collaborative project on feb.10 ... stay tuned for more info :)
Jan 2016 · 411
inexplicable explosions.
shåi Jan 2016
i set fire to my dreams
and lit every single one
for its smoke
was my cathartic release

i lit fire to my dreams
hoping the emotions
wouldn't come no more
oh, the pain it caused me

i set my dreams afire
so i would never let
the pain of heartbreak
grasp me in its hands again
(b.d.s.)
upcoming collaborative project will be coming out soon!!! im so excited to be sharing this with you all  soon im beyond proud of it :)
Jan 2016 · 788
fate...
shåi Jan 2016
love has a deadly price
where fate and destiny lay
its pain I managed to suffice

destiny acts like rolling dice
our hearts gently at bay
love has a deadly price

time can bring forth a deadly demise
the hours can only say
its pain I managed to suffice

love has the power to entice
it is a constant game of predator and prey
love has a deadly price

fate is my only vice
love awakens another day
its pain I manage to suffice

love has a fiery flame it ignites
bless me love , I pray
love has a deadly price
its pain I manage to suffice
(b.d.s.)
Jan 2016 · 743
retrospect. (14w)
shåi Jan 2016
i may have made mistakes loving you
but you made the ride worth it.
Dec 2015 · 670
dark auroras.
shåi Dec 2015
silence exists as wind billows
through the night sky
echoes through wary hearts
a sudden high

the landscape erupts
as loneliness is now confined
a freeing passion
remains of lost signs

the ocean depict
a pain deep inside
that is all but forgotten
in the shadows they hide

(b.d.s.)
this is one of the first rhyming poems i have written in years and im proud of how it turned out haha
Dec 2015 · 592
underwatour.
shåi Dec 2015
used to speak in bodies
but now we speak in tongues
the frozen air bites my lungs

empties my soul from what it sees
lost black sorrows seep and bleed

gasping for reality while gasping for love
crushes my lungs, a pain undone

always sitting and waiting for a sign
always wanting things that arent mine

love was your favourite crime
especially if the heart broken was mine
(b.d.s,)
Nov 2015 · 742
the trying
shåi Nov 2015
somehow i always
wrote poems
fantasizing about
the beautiful picture frames
and the way your hair shone

you looked so perfect
(at least that was what i thought)
it was only a facade
just a mere existence

i failed to write
about the way the blood
rushed through your eyes
like fire

i failed to see
how
a silent stream of tears
constantly fell upon your face

i failed to see
the imperfections of a love
so strong

i wrote about the mere
cliche
i failed to see
how the picture isnt as perfect
as it used to be
i thought you changed
but it was my fault all along

(b.d.s.)
i miss being on here sigh
Oct 2015 · 749
rip
shåi Oct 2015
rip
bury me in
the beach
along with my feelings

so that the waves
of love will gently
spray upon my face

bury me in the beach
so i may never see life
again

forget about me
im only a pack
of broken dreams
and lost desires

bury me in the beach
its where i belong
i am nothing
this is my self sacrifice

bury me in the beach
as i will make love
to the ground i had once
came from

(b.d.s.)
i love you
Oct 2015 · 358
d e a d
shåi Oct 2015
my body haunts me
with the unwritten verses
of a starving poet

and my body tingles
with the emotions
of caged heart of fire

(b.d.s.)
Oct 2015 · 523
claustrophobia.
shåi Oct 2015
there is a box
i am alone
dead inside
motionless

i figure that
this is only a dream
i am only dead


darkness swallows
me
into depths
i cannot see

i am confined
into the corners
of my own head

i try to run
but somehow i am
still trapped
stuck once more

i am a sinner of love.
what do i do? what do i do?
my shadows tell me
i cant escape too

my shadows keep
me as their prisoner
sell my soul
to be a slave of love
(b.d.s.)
Sep 2015 · 455
u
shåi Sep 2015
u
two eyes
two hearts
one love
a girl lost

one shadow
two cuffs
many lies
deceitful lust

dark minds
spilled ink
one corpse
color.

two eyes
dark poetry
one coffee
one broken heart

two sleeves
million miles
passionate lust
a painful goodbye.

(b.d.s.)
for you.
Sep 2015 · 1.0k
irises
shåi Sep 2015
i told your eyes
how much id love them
for its smile shone
like the stars

my shadows told
me i lied
continuously taunting
breaking my aching heart

aching moans
and wildful wails
escaped my corpse

i wanted to tell your eyes
a secret
unlike no other
except
i couldnt

your eyes was my gateway
it was my white lighter
it was the thing that kept me
away from running

my shadows pursue me
telling me not to believe,
not to love

your eyes set my spirit free
left me in a state of euphoria
utter bliss
and casted my shadows away

(b.d.s.)
i dedicate this poem to this special girl named laura  because i love her so much and she is my world.. she helped me realize that love is possible
Sep 2015 · 509
house of love.
shåi Sep 2015
i am a slave to love
it drags me constantly
never letting me go

it eats my soul
disables me
swallows me whole

calms me.

it is so irresistable
i want to resist
i want to leave
but i want it

i am its freak
lock me in its box
tell me you love me
for i am dreadfully lost
(b.d.s.)
Sep 2015 · 434
the vision of the nude
shåi Sep 2015
skin leaves
traces of
love being made

i outline the
love bites
that once scattered upon
my body

my veins
zigzagged across
my corpse
outlining a struggle so beautiful

my blemished skin
was your notebook
empty to write
such tragic memories

i was your masterpiece
you were my artist
i miss the way
you made my body feel so complete
(b.d.s.)
Aug 2015 · 795
cause of death: love
shåi Aug 2015
i have made myself
a slave
to my own deranged mind

i have prepared
my own funeral
the corpse is mine

i tried
many times
to save you
to the point
i couldnt save myself

the spirit
is only dead
i am too late

love was
my drug
ending my
nightmare so effortlessly

my breath
is now rejuvenated
in my process
of constant healing

i have been broken
many times
at the seams

to the point
healing is
unattainable


but the partition is
once again drawn
and a new era
has only begun

(b.d.s.)
Aug 2015 · 404
counteract.
shåi Aug 2015
your lips told
stories that your
eyes only hid

(b.d.s.)
Aug 2015 · 304
no. 2
shåi Aug 2015
i cried
for the times
i wished i loved
you better

(b.d.s.)
Aug 2015 · 401
systematic love
shåi Aug 2015
it looks like
there might
be a flaw
in the system

for some
reason i dont
why
but i missed you

maybe there was
something in your
eyes
but i probably missed it

hidden deep within
your irises
lies love
locked so deep

(b.d.s.)
Jul 2015 · 412
clocks.
shåi Jul 2015
as time passes
in weeks
months and years
the feelings i have
for you
have never left me
but only
intensified

i used to think
that time
would give
me the right words
to describe
this passion
yet,
im still
left with
a jumble of infinite words
(b.d.s)
Jul 2015 · 353
tidal waves.
shåi Jul 2015
your porcelain skin
welcomes me in
for i have fallen
in love with such beauty!

your beautiful blue eyes
greet me
for i desire the thought of being
yours

your irises
act as waves
swallowing and refreshing
my every desire

i love you.
(b.d.s.)
Jul 2015 · 391
//razor edges //
shåi Jul 2015
i am like
the shards
of glass
in your mirror

i break
with every touch
i am left broken
on the empty countertop

i am translucent
as the pieces
are my constant remedy
of relentless memories

i break
and bleed
effortless thoughts
and unspoken words

i have fallen apart
with no hope
of being put together
again

(b.d.s.)
Jul 2015 · 652
...?
shåi Jul 2015
i told my heart
im sorry
for all the times
loving you was wrong
{b.d.s.}
many worls in progress.. this august.
Jun 2015 · 289
{voices.}
shåi Jun 2015
my chaotic mind
wars at the thought
that you may not
love me

i cant barely stand
the thought of it
but
it is possible

i will love you endlessly
like the way the ocean
crashes waves of
passionate emotion

i cant get enough
despite the voice
telling me it is wrong
to love you

you act as a
vial of morphine
you allow me
to feel the rush of
love

i only want a taste
of your love
allow me to
make love to
your love

(b.d.s.)
upcoming works coming soon.
Jun 2015 · 372
a beautiful disaster...
shåi Jun 2015
light up my heart
of night sky with
tiny little fireworks

shade my heart
with embers glowing
for change

you had purpose
never dying
as the moon falls
your light
always remained radiant

you had the power to light
the sky
in ways that were never possible

help me find
what color i truly am
my true purpose

but you  only painted
with your fiery lights
a love that i never knew

(b.d.s.)
Jun 2015 · 607
knee socks.
shåi Jun 2015
if you listen carefully
    there is a language
     that lovers only understand

    
it is within the stars
        speak in accents
            of love defined*

                                                      (b.d.s.)
Jun 2015 · 920
affectionate colors.
shåi Jun 2015
bathe me in the
colors of your heart
take me
into your assorted hues

different colors
all sorts
of purples and blues
you bled one color true

you bled into
my life
like a chaotic melody

you were the constant
the black to my white
the light to my dark
such the balance!

i bathed you
with thoughts in hues of purple
but one day,
you decided purple wasn't for you

(b.d.s.)
Jun 2015 · 881
(bad blood)
shåi Jun 2015
here i stand
amidst all confusion
and far fetched intuition
broken

i look at my fists
i begin to tremble
unceasingly

i cannot stop
my skins begin
to fall like leaves
in the night

i bruise
and feel the pain
of rocks
grating on my delicate blood

i see tiny
crimson red dots
spring from the unknown

i know i am hurting
yet somehow
i just cant bring myself
to make it stop

my hands are raw
i am tired
tired of fighting
i don't want to win
my only desire is to live

(b.d.s.)
May 2015 · 252
(sky loving)
shåi May 2015
if you closely look at the sky
you may see the moon
endlessly making love to the sun
(b.d.s.)
May 2015 · 1.0k
psychedelic delicacies.
shåi May 2015
vision's hazy
don't know where to go
never have known
such faded distorted lines

im falling
into the pits
of my own
mind

i shriek
and i scream
i choke
and wheeze

the path is broken
hasn't it always been?
i am
truly lost

i am no longer me
i am only now
trapped
in another body

caged thoughts in
quite an
unfitting corpse
broken always.

my mind
is fading
i have become
a mindless drone

ensnared in
the emotion
of indifference

i am overcome with
the want to feel
something

it has always
been the same
endless cycle
continuous repetition

have i
become numb
to the capabilities
of true love?

my mind
breaks into
periods
of screaming ecstacy

i am breaking
i am screaming
as the sun approaches

i long for
a world
that i may be
free again
(b.d.s.)
May 2015 · 374
///
shåi May 2015
///
your love
burns me like
wildfires

every couplet
i write
acts as
seething flames

your kiss
is my smoke
billowing with a finesse
i choke.

i burn and bleed
at the sight of you
it overcomes
my soul
with a darkness

this darkness swallows
me
as i fall to hand unknown

(b.d.s.)
May 2015 · 276
death's kiss
shåi May 2015
kiss me
like it was
the last thing
you ever want

kiss me
so hard
you fall in
state of delirium

kiss me
like it was
your dying wish

i am the
artist
of
your
sins

i
am
your
endless
temptation

i
am
your
last
dying
kiss
(b.d.s.)
May 2015 · 541
melodious personification.
shåi May 2015
let me take you in..
i promise it will be quite lovely..

i want to thrive
in the shadows of
your mind

i may be forgotten
but i must at least
occur in your mind
once in a while

i want to be
your lady
of the light

you can be my little
prince of darkness
love me
with endless devotion

touch my collarbone
tell me
you love it
i know you do.

i lace my fingers
passing your
ever pulsing vein

you hesitate
i smile
your breathing
steady

your smile glowers
and i can almost
hear it ringing
in my ear

i see you
and the ringing
endlessly persists

i only want to
pull you in
cloak you
in my passionate love

two shadows
making love
in the infinite darkness


stupid and pitiful love

(b.d.s.)
i missed writing for a while
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
shåi Apr 2015
don't you
miss the way
you would always course
through my body


it seemed
as if
it were a high voltage
electric shock

i lose myself
in the electrical
coils and snaps
mesmerized infinitely


i wrap the long cords
around my neck
and body
 i want you,
even if you dont.


(b.d.s.)
Apr 2015 · 421
lost lust.
shåi Apr 2015
the secrecy
of your destiny
rests in me

i cannot resist it
your broken catharsis
your truth
where is it

secret lover
my name
the last name
you uttered sorrowfully

i had been
a delicate flower
who was withering
within the hour

mended hearts
joint to be one
just like our love
once was

(b.d.s.)
Apr 2015 · 353
|
shåi Apr 2015
|
hands everywhere
all over my sinfully
dead body

hands everywhere
touching me
ever so gently

hands everywhere
i am its mold of clay
ever
so
gooey

i slip
and slide
as my heart
break

the light
guide me to
a world
i have never loved so much

i am your desire
i have been your fantasy
i was your dream
i am now your death.
(b.d.s.)
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