So many things on my mind, so many wonders going like how and why?

I didn't know you too well, for goodness's sake I didn't know you at all.

But your death, made me realize you've been in pain,
But left me oblivious of the reasons behind.

I wish I knew, I wish I could've helped.
I know it wasn't my fault,
and Even tho it was your decision ,
to commit suicide,  
to let go,
I know that, it wasnt your fault either.

But maybe, just a little maybe and a little of hope that I hold onto ,
you just wanted , a different life, that you could re-unite in with your dad.

But I wish you knew, the impact you left behind.
Because you truly have changed my life ,
you may not know it, and you may never have the chance,
or what's more insane is that maybe one day you will.

Everyone truly is in regret , and even the ones who were far,
have always been there for you, if you could've gave them a chance.

You'll always be in my prayers, and I will make sure to complete the purpose of your life.

Just one message from you, and just one sentence made me this way.

You said "I cant forget our old good days" ,
and you said you didnt want to disturb me anymore.

But sadly , you dont know half the reasons of why I had let you go.

Happy birthday my best friend
Happy birthday my lovely sister
May you live a cheerful happy life with me by your side
I love you so much that it's unbelievable
I never wanna see you sad nor crying
Just the thought of you crossing my mind makes me happy
Never forget that I will be here for you no matter what

Isn't it weird how one bad comment can overcome several good comments?
Isn't it weird that it's easier to feel bad about yourself than feeling good about yourself?
Isn't it weird how evil can be acomplished faster than the good?
Isnt it weird that we live in such an intricate world, where the negativity always outcomes the positivity, because no good is left, when the bad often lets you down.

Alike charges repel, opposite charges attract. This was our philosophy  in dealing with the atoms in our world. But what about our world? How come all the positivity and the negativity in the world in all of their different forms,  , as they cancel each other, get the world cancelled along?

You make me
sad,

he makes you
sad

and that still
makes me
sad,

what is going
on here?

I'm still here, why are you crying..
I'm still here, why do I keep on crying too..

I'm still here but it's hard to imagine I'd be leaving this place.
Leaving those people behind,
Ditching the memories,
The good and the bad ones.

Are those tears of joy or sadness?  
Am I happy to leave, and begin a new begining , and discover new things and go on adventures.
Or  am i sad to leave, never seeing those people again, because everytime I think of it, I start crying.

I am happy,
But why is that those tears wont stop falling?

It's the right thing,
But why is that it doesn't feel like so?

I am strong,
But why is it that I need to be strong?

I should not feel this way,
But why is it that my feelings have become so bipolar ?

It's bravery,
But why is it that I feel it's an act of fear instead?

I am not oblivion no more,
But why is it that i feel there is much behind every path?

I fear failure,
But why is that I feel that it is a fear of success?

I should enjoy the moment,
But why is it that my brain cant comprehend to happiness no more?