Don't be afraid.
The apostrophe is purposeful -
It connects you to your neighbour,
Although this is your terminal
You're permeable. Like the apostrophe.
I pass through you. Like aircrew
Only here for the flight, and not the
Destination. I digress. I must alight.
This is my terminal, and we are not connected.
Do not be afraid.

Do you see me? I think I am right here.
My thoughts don't reach you; they are just shadows.
Casting on to fear. I hear you. Loudly.
Clearly, I am gone. You are gone. Savaged.

Damaged yet perfect. A grandfather clock
Stuck in '15. Foreboding. Relentless.
Silently screaming my regrets with its
face. I love you. But do you see me now?

You don't hear me. Although I burn alive
like space debris until I dismantle
into pieces. Scattered places I can't
see. I guess that's why you don't see me now.

I often find myself thinking out loud:
Do I even see myself? No, I don't.

I delete almost every word I write
As though I can eradicate the feeling.
But I can't. It doesn't work.
Nothing changes. And nothing feels right.

I don't know what it's like to be you
But for me,
I am sitting in this room,
With all the people I love,
And I want to cry myself to sleep in the middle of the day.

They don't notice that I'm here
But the second I go to leave they cry out.
I'm the elf on the shelf,
Or the cookies you leave out for Santa.
You know he won't eat them, I mean,
**** - he's not even real.
But you can't not have them there.
That would be wrong.
I am your favourite piece of furniture.

Discard me, and get it over and done with.
It's more humane than making me sit here and watch you live your life.

I don't know who I am anymore.
Not only that, but I can no longer see the light.
So I wandered the Earth until I reached the shore,
And swam straight into the night.

It was cold at first, but now I'm numb.
It seems I swam the whole night through.
And amidst the abyss and the crashing waves,
I realised I was swimming, to you.

But now my limbs are finished.
And my weary eyes are closing fast.
And as I sink slowly downwards,
I realise I was chasing the past.

Spoken Word Poetry.

Prosecute me.
Feed me to the wolves.
I cannot live
              with what I have done to you.

I am beastly.
Pale behind the curtain.
Thick with the deceit
              you have cut through.

You are calm.
In this sea of heresy.
You are the light in my day, illuminating.

That's why it's frustrating,
And grating,
When I think of us copulating.

Systematic mating.
              Somewhat creating.

All because I am hating
Who you have made me in to.

This pulsating,
              agitating,
                              being.

Alienating instead of
                          a l l e v i a t i n g
                          this excruciating complexity.  

I was detonating.

And it -
           it was fascinating.

Not it.
That was just penetrating.

Suffocating and terminating my bond with you.

Separating.

So that I could begin accelerating

And clearly  a r t i c u l a t i n g
Who I really wanted to be.

It was   i n c a p a c i t a t i n g.
And yet intoxicating.

Because you are what I want.
Despite it all.
I want you.

So prosecute me.

Please feed me to the wolves.
I cannot live with what I have done to you.

You are calm.
Whilst I am on fire.

Penance comes to me on the eve
Of the second coming,
Awash with promise and horizons
That have never seen the night.
I know my own name clearer
Than any punch I've ever felt;
Or slamming door where I am
Standing on the wrong side.

My name is Amelia and
I am stronger than any storm
You have ever weathered;
More powerful than a hair in
Your mouth, or smoke in your eye.
I stand before you as Atlas,
Holding up this world with the sheer
Determination of someone prepared to die.

I can see the new world through
The same eyes that used to show me
Darkness more terrifying than the day,
When light would fall into every crack,
And bounce across every word I said.
Now as I move to meet my maker,
I do so calmly, yet without caution.
I know my own name now.

I became an aviator to explore all I wanted to see,
to feel the sun upon my skin and wander strong and free.
And learn about this life so far the things I already knew,
be brave enough to trapeze this world and see the oceans blue.
Eyes cloaked and squinting under all the sunshine's might,
a sense of dazzling clarity from both senses and the light.
Hello new dawn hello new day and hello to new me,
tethered oh so heavily when I used to be at sea.
Long may this greatness stay with every moment passing through,
and blown away the fog will be that blurs life's glistening hue.
Dreaming that the sun will never settle into night,
or that my wings will fail me now or cause me to alight.