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wren Jul 2019
i just wish i could know the me that everyone else sees.
i wanna see the me that people see as a safe space,
the me that people look up to,
the me that people fall in love with.

i want to see someone i wouldn’t hate every time i go to wash my face and see myself in the mirror.
the one who doesn’t cry every night.
the one who sleeps.

i wanna see the beautiful person i hear so much about.
until i get to actually see that me, everything good i hear about me is a lie
TS Aug 2017
My brain rattles around and I'm lost on what to say, what to do, where to start. There is a mountain of things on my list of life. I don't want the list, I dont want anything on it, I don't want life.

I just want to run. Run very far away forever and ever until the end.

Erin Ross Jul 2017
I forgot how it felt.
The aching of a chest as I lean over my patio wall.
Having an affinity with the dust in my throat
That burns along side of my eyes
And you dont know,
But it was worse when you left.

My dark blue comforter.
My closet door.
The light switch.
The cigarbox on my night stand.
The ***** laundry in my hamper.

I forgot how it felt.
To not breathe when trying to catch as much of the stale air in my bedroom as I could.
Residing there were residual hearts in residual pieces.

My sheets
My bed frame
The rough carpeting
My cat who disappeared because of the noise.

I forgot how it felt to feel like youre dying.
When anxiety turns into losing your ******* ****.
Because you lost it and you're alone.

The hum of a ceiling fan that barely works
Scratching of a pen on paper
My breathing and soft whispers that dont matter.

I forgot how it felt.
To feel useless and filled with an intense self loathing
Because I saw your eyes lined with red and watched you walk away - my voice not carrying to call you back.

My (your) pillow.
My comforter.

I forgot how it felt
To close the door and fall to the floor because I didnt work anymore.
And to know, buried deep under this weeping,
That you wont forgive me.


I forgot how it felt.
To feel like I'm dying.
See, touch, hear, smell, taste.
These things tell you where you are, that you're safe, and that you can feel how you feel safely, with no judgement, or shame, and in comfort.
Secret-Author Sep 2016
Penance comes to me on the eve
Of the second coming,
Awash with promise and horizons
That have never seen the night.
I know my own name clearer
Than any punch I've ever felt;
Or slamming door where I am
Standing on the wrong side.

My name is Amelia and
I am stronger than any storm
You have ever weathered;
More powerful than a hair in
Your mouth, or smoke in your eye.
I stand before you as Atlas,
Holding up this world with the sheer
Determination of someone prepared to die.

I can see the new world through
The same eyes that used to show me
Darkness more terrifying than the day,
When light would fall into every crack,
And bounce across every word I said.
Now as I move to meet my maker,
I do so calmly, yet without caution.
I know my own name now.
The best things in life are never easy.
From love to happiness to even teaching your goals.
It's a struggle it's a battle
It test the will it finds out how hungry you are.
From school to love to even simple goals
Life is a challenge
Life is a bittersweet candy.
Bitter in the beginning but always a sweet feeling at the end just my
Honest confession from the heart

— The End —