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blklvndr Jul 2014
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And as for all the **** that you said you'd never do,
you did it,
didn't you?
??
blklvndr Jul 2014
??
If I were to
die,
do you think he'd
cry?
11//3//13
blklvndr Jul 2014
at the drop of a hat,
just like that,
I love him, that rat
bck
blklvndr Jul 2014
bck
I turn my
back on so
many people whom
I used to know
like the back of
my hand.
Friday the 13th, Dec. 2013
blklvndr Jul 2014
You remind me of my favorite pair of old blue jeans.

I wanted to wear them every single second, just like I wanted to be with you.

But one day..

one day, they stopped firing me
and
I had to say goodbye.
blklvndr Jul 2014
The names in your phone may change,
but your heart --
it must always stay the same.
2 • November • 2:08 AM
blklvndr Jul 2014
I kissed you for
days & days

I waited for you for
days & days

I missed you for
days & days

I loved you for
days & days

I will kiss you for
days & days

I will wait for you for
days & days

I will miss you for
days & days

&

I will love you for

**days & days.
blklvndr Jul 2014
and so you get out of bed,
you take a shower,

you wash the face that too many tears have dried upon, 
you cleanse the the body that too many hands have touched

heartbroken again, but you will rise

you’re too used to it to cry, it’s a demise


you shave your legs, this time for you
,
you comb through your tangled locks, reminding you too much of your tangled heart
,
you paint your cracked and unpolished nails, hoping that they’ll shine just like they used to, also reminding you too much of your cracked and unpolished heart.

heartbroken again, but you will rise
 you’re too used to it to cry, it’s a demise

you clean your room, still hoping that he’ll see it again soon

you draw your blinds and wait until sunrise

*heartbroken again, but you will rise

you’re too used to it to cry, it’s a demise
blklvndr Jul 2014
All will be fine
if you just give it a little time.
Nov. 23
blklvndr Jul 2014
I fell so deeply in love with a boy I thought I'd know forever,

but now he isn't even like a brother,

he is

gone
GONE
gone
g o n e
**gone
blklvndr Jul 2014
He hated things that made me want to hate him.
blklvndr Jul 2014
I deserve a good morning text every morning you wake up with me on your mind, not by your side.
And if I’m neither on your mind nor by your side,
I deserve a sweet goodnight.

I deserve someone who isn’t constantly reminding me of the imperfections and insecurities I have no problem struggling with when I’m alone, even if it is “just a joke.”

I deserve someone who wants to study every photograph I’ve ever taken until their eyes grow weary.

I deserve someone who asks what I’m writing, even if it is just a one word scribble on a sticky note.

I deserve answered calls.

I deserve beautiful nicknames and extravagant hellos.

I deserve flowers on my doorstep when I’ve had an awful day.

I deserve words when they’re needed and beautiful silence when they’re not.

I deserve kisses on my dry and cracked knuckles in the winter and kisses where the sweet sunshine hits the tip of my nose in the summer.

I deserve to be checked up on when I don’t reply all day long.

I deserve to be carried when I can’t bear to move.

I deserve to be looked at the way your father did when he first fell in love with your mother.

I deserve the truth no matter how hard it may be for you to tell it.

I deserve laughter even when I’ve just told the worst joke in the world.

I deserve understanding for my former ways and promises to better my future.

I deserve to be cuddled every day you have the chance.

I deserve to be the one you cry on when sadness fills your soul and I deserve to be the one you laugh with when warmth fills your heart.

I deserve for you to try to see beyond what I give.

I deserve to be seen for who I am inside, not for what’s on the out.

I deserve to be loved in a way in which could erase all the former ones who failed to love me the way you should.

I deserve to be loved, not lusted after and if one day you realize that I don’t deserve all that I do..

I deserve a cruel goodbye.
blklvndr Jul 2014
He made my heart feel the way my toes did early in the morning

when I'd open the refrigerator and the cool gust of impact would brush right past my toes and jolt them awake

while I, being the teenager that I was couldn't decide on a simple thing such as breakfast.

Indecisive, I was.. even about him.
blklvndr Jul 2014
I saw the boy I now spend all my time with last night
,

he always tells me “the less makeup the better” 
but last night he said he'd never seen my eyes shine so bright

*
that night, I wore mascara
this night, an old friend came to me for advice

but he didn’t know that I saw him driving earlier & refrained from waving hello, 
*he always told me
“we’ll be close forever”


I saw the boy I used to spend all my time with this morning
blklvndr Jul 2014
maybe* it's time for me to go

-------------

maybe it's time to let it *go
Nov. 15
blklvndr Jul 2014
I keep my ibuprofen in a Marlboro box
hidden deep beneath the pages of books that ever so kindly let the time pass by.


I take my ibuprofen two at a time
because they always used to tell me “good things come in twos..”

I guess that was true before I met you.


I swallow my ibuprofen with anything I can find because substances like this are highly divine, one of a kind.
blklvndr Jul 2014
The forbidden fruit was always you.
blklvndr Jul 2014
A year and one month ago I met a man and it wasn't what I had planned.

I always loved him from afar, even when he was out at all the bars.

In-between these months, in-between the snow, he'd miss me and he'd let me know. I never wanted to make it a show, so I never let anyone know.

I always kept my distance because I knew I could love him again in an instant.

He called me tonight, it was sure a sight.

I think I love him again. Why did this begin?
blklvndr Jul 2014
she wants
summer
when it's
winter
&
winter
when it's
**summer
Nov. 17
blklvndr Jul 2014
Shame on me
for not seeing
the shame
in you.
November 5th, 2013
blklvndr Jul 2014
another hour passed
oh
how I wish these times
would *last
blklvndr Jul 2014
You're not part of who I need to be.
12•15•13
blklvndr Jul 2014
my skin* is light
your skin is dark
your soul is light
my soul is dark
Tas

— The End —