another hour passed
oh
how I wish these times
would *last

I turn my
back on so
many people whom
I used to know
like the back of
my hand.

All will be fine
if you just give it a little time.

You remind me of my favorite pair of old blue jeans.

I wanted to wear them every single second, just like I wanted to be with you.

But one day..

one day, they stopped firing me
and
I had to say goodbye.

I fell so deeply in love with a boy I thought I'd know forever,

but now he isn't even like a brother,

he is

gone
GONE
gone
g o n e
**gone

And as for all the **** that you said you'd never do,
you did it,
didn't you?

The forbidden fruit was always you.

I saw the boy I now spend all my time with last night
,

he always tells me “the less makeup the better” 
but last night he said he'd never seen my eyes shine so bright

*
that night, I wore mascara
this night, an old friend came to me for advice

but he didn’t know that I saw him driving earlier & refrained from waving hello, 
*he always told me “we’ll be close forever”


I saw the boy I used to spend all my time with this morning

I deserve a good morning text every morning you wake up with me on your mind, not by your side.
And if I’m neither on your mind nor by your side,
I deserve a sweet goodnight.

I deserve someone who isn’t constantly reminding me of the imperfections and insecurities I have no problem struggling with when I’m alone, even if it is “just a joke.”

I deserve someone who wants to study every photograph I’ve ever taken until their eyes grow weary.

I deserve someone who asks what I’m writing, even if it is just a one word scribble on a sticky note.

I deserve answered calls.

I deserve beautiful nicknames and extravagant hellos.

I deserve flowers on my doorstep when I’ve had an awful day.

I deserve words when they’re needed and beautiful silence when they’re not.

I deserve kisses on my dry and cracked knuckles in the winter and kisses where the sweet sunshine hits the tip of my nose in the summer.

I deserve to be checked up on when I don’t reply all day long.

I deserve to be carried when I can’t bear to move.

I deserve to be looked at the way your father did when he first fell in love with your mother.

I deserve the truth no matter how hard it may be for you to tell it.

I deserve laughter even when I’ve just told the worst joke in the world.

I deserve understanding for my former ways and promises to better my future.

I deserve to be cuddled every day you have the chance.

I deserve to be the one you cry on when sadness fills your soul and I deserve to be the one you laugh with when warmth fills your heart.

I deserve for you to try to see beyond what I give.

I deserve to be seen for who I am inside, not for what’s on the out.

I deserve to be loved in a way in which could erase all the former ones who failed to love me the way you should.

I deserve to be loved, not lusted after and if one day you realize that I don’t deserve all that I do..

I deserve a cruel goodbye.