glistening,
the beetle gleams.

it looms over.
the shadow darkens,
closing in
and cracking down in a bursting chaos.

lifting up,
reveals a mosaic of remains.

death more beautiful after all.

lies
salty
like brine

salty tears
mixed with sweet words
followed with bitter remarks
and a sour face

"Let's rain gaze..."
the books and the movies
talk about boys like this

it is not
'us versus them'
or
'you versus me'
it is us against the problem
which you fail to see.

only a quarter
my roots go back shorter
my fourth diminished
by history left unfinished

others blame
saying you’re ashamed
they want that quarter to know fame
they care for your ethnic name

but your skin is still fair
all is white except your hair
and you don't get stares
but your father does --- its so unfair

My emotions feel synthetic
Fake feelings from a fake persona that I crafted to please you
If only I could live for myself
But I'm acting in a play
One without an audience
So who am acting for?
In those moments alone where I wail Who am I doing this for?
Constantly reinventing myself
But why?
I wish I could be free of this theatre
I hunger for the curtains to close
For the blazing lights to dim
And to sense the silent applause
Die out.

Happiness has become expensive.
Counting pennies like a child.

I wish I had more time to think,
More time to cry with you,
Before you're gone.
But time is slippery as I try to grasp
The precious grains
Of my remaining hours with you.
I wish I could be strong for you,
But my sadness is uncontainable
and flows out of my wallowing blue wells for eyes.
You clutch my sweaty palms,
Desperately struggling to hold on to
This life you want to keep living.
But as I watch the sparkle dim in your eyes.
I know.
That it's a cruel world.

As the last grain hits the glass basin,
I know it was all for nothing.

Wrapped around my neck are red fingernails,
their color warns me of what they draw.

Your eyes oscillate towards her when we speak.

I am not a lover
I cannot be chained down
To someone so soon
I cannot be this earth's moon.

They were like spring,
awaking me from the depths of her who is winter.

Life is flourishing. My tears have worked hard, to rejuvenate this life.
For the first time in years, I feel like myself again.

I tried to dream of you tonight.

Though light persists to reach my eyes, I hereby reject this harsh reality. For it is easier to renounce something you cannot percieve.

The world is so beautiful,
Through eyes purified by love.
Who knew
That one person
Could wash away the brokenness of this cruel world.

I'm an addict,
my weak mind succumbed by the allurement of sadness.
A strong emotion with enough power to fill me up with something.
A starved stomach craves the feeling of being full.
And I've never been a picky eater.

I remember the dust stuck in time,
The pink ruffled dress I wore in a sea of black.
I remember the stares and the tears.
But most of all I remember your smile and the love.
I will never forget you.
Though we exist in different worlds.
Not even death is enough to tear apart this bond.

my heart urges to
create
but my mind
cannot focus on passion
can’t put aside pain
so my heart’s paintings
become plain
overwritten by
an unloving mind

my love is captivating
my love has gravity

I love like the ocean
I love with fervor

my love is waves of emotion
my love clashes into consuming chaos

I love the chaos
I love the way I love

The river churned the boy and his boat
into a fine butter

Take away their power
and ignore their pain.

But culture is perennial,
and no practice is in vain.

You’ve cut the line
but the call is still coming through.

Change is coming.
With or without you.

Take away their language,
but the land will teach them the way.

Knowledge and memories,
will always stay.

Try to obstruct their knowing,
haven’t you heard?

Your graining insistence,
is quiet like the blue bird.

The river is flowing,
the sun is still stirred.

Ancient lines of wisdom,
what are you afraid they might learn?

Your resistance to beauty,
beyond absurd.

When will you let them find freedom?
Surrounded by the colonial herd.