Ok, there’s no jailbreak.
Make room for my innocent alter ego,
because there’s nothing to rebel against.

There are zero classes in my nascent,
year-long, Harvard master’s degree.
They call it ‘self directed study’
and like rockets have stages,
I’ll have ‘self paced modules.’

Am I suddenly at Oxford University?
They’re quite famous for that (no formal classes).
Or am I suddenly grown up and trusted?
I obviously don’t have it all figured out yet,
so I’ll just trust the process.

When I started that other school
(that shall not be named), my advisor
handed me a computer printout - a list
with something like 40 courses on it.
I thought, “Oh, my God,” but one by one,
year over year, I checked-off those courses
and walla! They handed me a diploma.
It was a process.

I understand, if you’re disappointed about the jailbreak, but there’ll
be coffee breaks, lunch breaks, study breaks, bathroom breaks
and more than a few self-directed dance breaks. So stick around.

“You know,” my therapist said, so very seriously, a few years ago,
“you keep laughing.”
.
.
I've Got the World on a String by Robin McKelle
****** Soul Picnic by Ledisi & Billy Childs

I woke up to the rose colored glasses being welded to my head. The pain is excruciating and i can’t remember, but according to the paperwork i asked for this. I willingly walked into this life. I refuse to leave. Why would i? Each time reality catches up to crack my perfect view, it’s fixed without me ever having to even ask. I try to see through the break. Please don’t think your other life goes unnoticed. I’m more aware to the deep and dark reality than you’d think i am, but i prefer to ignore it when I’m around you too. Our world is so much better. We’re on a downward spiral, in every way imaginable. I have never felt more safe. I have never felt more cheated in all my life. Why couldn’t you forewarn me just how good deception would taste laced with your spit? Some type of heads up that i’d become addicted to the way we feel skin on skin. if we can make it down this far, why couldn’t we go up too? It wouldn’t be easy, all of this has been so difficult. You’d only have to want to.

Velvet echoes in these faded places,
Plastic smiles on porcelain faces.
Whiskey tears in crystal glasses,
Dead-eyed queens and faded masses.
And it’s eerie, but oh, it’s sweet;
My dying dreams feel most complete.
Masking my hurt behind the glamour,
No more dawn and no forever.
Hard to voice, too numb to break,
I'm dancing in circles putting the F in ache…

It’s not the heartbreak that screams.
It’s the silence that follows.
The way someone becomes a stranger
while their memories still live in your chest.
How they laugh with others the way they used to with you—
and you pretend it doesn’t sting.
You act okay.
You smile.
But inside, you're mourning someone who’s still alive,
just no longer yours.

I tried to believe, so often
That everyone just needs time
To change
To come back.

I tried to believe, so often
In sweet words
That promised
The universe would make room for us.

But day by day
The more I tried to believe
The harder it became to ignore
You never truly wanted this.

This is not hate
Perhaps, it's exhaustion
Tired of all the questions
That never found their answer.

And I think
This is enough
If we never set sail
Perhaps we were simply never meant to be.

I don't sleep anymore.
I can almost see
god seeing
a child.
My stomach remembers every olive.
I have two phones
but no favorite.

A man goes to a doctor—
“Doctor, I’m depressed,”
the man says; life is harsh,
unforgiving, cruel.

The doctor lights up!--
The treatment, after all, is so simple!

“The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight,”
the doctor says,
“Go and see him! That should sort you out.”

The man bursts into tears.

“But doctor,”
he says,
“I am Pagliacci.”

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky split open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the world know
That I’ll
Not be
Coming back.

Let the rain fall down.
Let the world turn to ash.
Let the sky rip open. I’m
Never
Coming
Back.

Let the rain
Fall
Forever

Let the sky
Tear
In two.

Let the earths crust crumble, I
Won’t come back to you…

•###•

•the•message•is•so•phantom•

•strangled•
•during•the•thir­d•act•

•illuminated•
•letters•are•the•ciphertext•

•and•they•glo­w•
•in•your•eyes•
•Bletchley•Park•

•Turing•
•worked•it•out•with•­
•Delilah•

•they•killed•for•less•
•died•for•even•more•

•###•

i spend so many sleepless nights
thinking of you
never dreaming
a dream is more tangible a thing
than thought
and in a dream everything is real
even if it's just for a little while

A compulsory breather is needed.
To keep myself sane,
to maintain a calm outlook.

Coffee: The essential material for crafting the happy face mask.

in the cradle of my tongue
burns a small pearl

shaped like the moon
heavy as death

in the rift between shadows
pulls my skull into the earth

mouth and fire effervescent
sleight of winter sky  

in sheens of thick molten blue
cruel and raw

cut like god
cracks to life

the face of thunder  
in the cradle of my tongue beset

a pearl of blackest night born
my oath to keep

E s'aprono i fiori notturni
nell'ora che penso à miei cari.
Sono apparse in mezzo ai viburni
le farfalle crepuscolari.

Da un pezzo si tacquero i gridi:
l sola una casa bisbiglia.
Sotto l'ali dormoni i nidi,
come gli occhi sotto le ciglia.

Dai calici aperti si esala
l'odore di fragole rosse.
Splende un lume la nella sala.
Nasce l'era sopra le fosse.

Un'ape tardiva sussurra
trovando già prese le celle.
La Chioccetta per l'aia azzurra
va col suo pigolio di stelle.

Per tutta la notte s'esala
l'odore che passa col vento.
Passa il lume su per la scala;
brilla al primo piano: s'è spento...

È l'alba: si chiudono i petali
un poco gualciti; si cova,
dentro l'urna molle e segreta,
non so che felicità nuova.

It was something you never did
it was something you always did

God rest my soul
Because you never did

I learned to drink
Because you never did
Never defined the moment
Because you always did

God rest my soul
Simply put
I knew you would
Because you never did

Oh you enjoyed the fall
You loved it all

God rest my soul
Because you never did

I reset my boundaries,                                                      ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
that soon became walls.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
my life's filled with difficulties,                                                    ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
and I'll overcome it all

I can make weird faces again with my stitches.
Yay.
Won’t take it for granted, I’m trying.
Not to take life in this world, seriously.

Seriously, there must be other places.
But every place has connections to everything.
Trying to let go of everything….
Before I go, letting go.

It’s easier to let go for me already.
When I know I can leave.
I feel broken and lost.
But I’m letting go of what’s bothering as much as I can.

But then…
There’s always something.
Always been.
Free when I’m home.
That’s how it should go.

That’s where you let your guard down.
And I’ve never been home here.
So maybe I can finally drop everything and fall down.
Forever when I’m gone.

I gasp, for breath...fading away, below you
helpless, beneath the deluge, of you.
Heat rises, and steams, a rosy flush,
into pale, cold cheeks...
as you waterfall above me,
and I turn my face up to you, in gratitude.

I am a dry...arid flower...
dominate me, with your downpour.
Keep me moaning, in little, breathless gasps...
drunk, on your deluge,
lusting, for the gentle, seething weight,
of your measured, eager touch...
so thirsty, for your rain,
as you slick parted lips, in waves.

Slowly...almost painfully
I ache, and writhe
as you pour over me,
and I gulp, hard,
against your hot embrace.

Mmmmm...lover...caress my bare skin
stream, relentlessly
across the peaks, and valleys
of my dripping, naked body.

I'm so wet, beneath you.
Every dance of droplets,
across these spreading hips,
and long, feminine legs...
every prolonged, whispering touch...
every sweet, steaming kiss,
steals my breath away,
and leaves me shuddering,
quivering,
groaning, helplessly,
beneath the lick of your warmth
across these rounded, fleshy cheeks.

I die, a little more, each time
you wash over me,
As I drink you in
...unashamed of the little pool,
you've got forming beneath my bare feet,
and tightly curled toes.

I'm...drenched,
tingling, from my head,
to my toes...
soaked, but satisfied,
beneath the incredible force, of you.

...I just can't get enough, of you.

Your best contribution
of the day-
when you don't stand
in someone's way

“You are too beautiful to be heart broken,” he told me
“Well… the most beautiful flowers get ripped out of the soil, causing them to fall apart and die..” I replied to him.
He gets my metaphor and told he would’ve kept me forever.
I smile but what is there to believe anymore?

She asked me
If I had ever been
In love

Then I
Realized that I
Had never not been
In love

I realized
I  wanted
Nothing  
Other than love

I think there is
Only one
Off-ramp
From the journey
Of love

That off-ramp
Is judgment

A critical heart
Combined with
A critical eye
Fills one with
The opposite
Of love—judgment

Judgment colors
The mind with
Negativity

Until the sin of
Judgment
Is displaced
By a lust
For love,
One will not find peace

When love invades
One’s heart
The body finds peace

When love is abundant
And bountiful
There is no fear
Of wasting love
Nor spilling love
For love can grow
Anywhere

So am I
In love?

Yes, I am
In love
Excessively
Wastefully and Willingly

In a galaxy millions of light years away,

Your visage shines bright, a glistening moon

Its orbit is drawn, its kismet is made

Its blinding departure came far too soon  



Wandering through cosmos in search of your light,

I yearn to break from fate’s dictation

Yet as your figure comes into sight

It shows not truth but imagination



Your orbit drifts further as your visage fades

Your figure dissolves into starless dust

Your eclipse casts my heart under lonely shade

There is no love or hate, only rust



I have not known love but merely affection

I have not known you but just a reflection

i'm standing in the rain
and every drop that hits me
is a detail of my life
utterly random
some smack me, some miss me
and that's my life
i'm soaked in accidental events

When the world goes quiet,
when backs turn,
and doors close—

it’s always you
still standing there,
like I’m worth staying for.

If you saw me

unvarnished,

unscripted
would you stay?

You'd know the cost
of loving someone
who's learned to disappear
before she's left.

You might step back.

or worse,

what if you stay?

and see me crumble

in your kindness

I don't know
if I could survive

being loved like that.