Darkness feeds on light
That speckle of warmth and white
that flushes out your blood
And you are left with the warmth of your first kiss
Lying in a pond on a warm summer day while cold rain nips at your skin

So I looked for you in the night
And you were laying on mountains
Trying to soften the shivering ridges

I traveled the world
Looking for a mountain high enough to reach the stars
And I lay atop you
Tossing stars aside
To make wishes come true
While the cool grass tickled at the most sensitive part of my arms and feet
You gently blew my hair
and it whipped around me

I sold my bus pass to a traveler
to find the edges of your lips
And I jumped and bounced into the softness of your skin
I grabbed ahold onto the roots of your hair
And swung myself
Into the sea of stars
A force so strong it knocked the wind out of my lungs
So I took a big breath
And was rewarded with clouds of daisies swimming through the galaxy like me

Ah, my love
You're physical form is no longer with me
but I feel you in everything

Bleached and dying coral
Light before the crash
Brighter than the star
before it disappeared
Skulls of dead animals
littered with bones on the side of the road

I used to see you standing there
Long, white flowing night gown
but I threw it in the ocean
before I let you go

Garlic clove before it hit the pain
Dove, freedom, hope
Death

Doctors and nurses
and the sheets of your
hospital bed

Your face before your heart stopped
and you let me see
that the darkness in white
is all that I can ever be.

This was the last song I listened to with you and we were driving in my car with the top down, watching the leaves fly up behind us on 32. I sang at the top of my lungs and you started to cry because the wounds of losing Dylan were so fresh and I cried too. You grabbed my hand I told you never to let go. And god the world keeps spinning, everyone keeps going on and I just want to scream that I'm not sure i'll ever be ready, can we just take a minute? Because if I move too fast I'm afraid i'll forget what you smell like, or your beautiful voice, or the way you help me so close. Now I'm standing here with a hand that doesn't know if it's holding only air and a heart that's waiting to skip a beat that matches yours perfectly. Crashing, falling down, I'm broken so just let me be.
"Call It Karma-Silverstein"
Call it karma because I was supposed to save you. I was supposed to be your angel that saved you from all of this. And I blame myself because you died in my arms that morning and it was all my fault.

I kept having people come up to me
and call me a name I no longer recognized
She's long gone I thought,
how can they think she is me?
Because she smiled and laughed
and the sun shined from within her
Now I'm running down hills through a field
from the echo of that name
I was surprised they even remembered
the girl I used to be
She felt so ******* free
but I could hardly sleep at night
I was no longer me.