Why does everyone say
That pain is a negative emotion?

I could not find a more positive one,
Anywhere I look.

Pain makes us see new colors
That never existed before.
Pain shows us words
That we couldn't speak before.
Pain guides my hand,
As I paint what I feel.
Pain makes my works of art masterpieces.
Pain builds a platinum wall around me,
And covers my heart with stone.
It exposes me till there is nothing left to show
Except my nobly bones.
It shows the world
The truest form of me.

Say what you will,
Try to move on as much as you want.
At the end of the day, you can be sure,
That pain will be
Your best enemy.

I finally figured out
Mankind's obsession with stars.
They are ten thousand lifetimes away.

We can see them from such a great distance,
Even though they are shrouded by the all-consuming night.

They signify love,
They twinkle only for our eyes.

They are so lonely,
In a void that consumes everything.
But they all come together
Just to give us a sky worth remembering.

They are the only things that we can't touch.
They are
The only things that don't hurt us back.
And that is why
They are the only things we can trust
With our deepest secrets.

I see colors.
But all I think of is black.
The bright blue of the sky
Is always clouded by ugly grey clouds
In my mind.

Each of my eyes
Sees different things.
One of them sees everything
That any normal eye should;
Family, friends, birds, trees.
A vast blanket of normalness.

The other one, however,
Sees how threadbare the blanket really is.
Sees only the shadows that fall behind
Family, friends, birds and trees.

The other eye sees everything
As it really is.
The other eye realises
That the lush lawn of our humanity
Is really just a concrete floor
Painted green.

You put on your bathing suit.
You make sure that nothing gets wet more than it needs to.
You take a deep breath.

The cold will definitely sting.
And it does.

The first few strokes are effortless,
You know for sure that you will make it across.
But then you open your eyes underwater,
And see the blue shifting and fading
With the moonlight.
And suddenly, the lines on the floor of the pool
Start to blur.
The lines leading  you there  
Start to blur.

You can see how far everyone else has come,
But measuring your own progress,
Finding out how far you have come
From where you started to wherever you are now,
Is **** near impossible.
The water still shifts and fades,
And entices you in the
Intimacy that stretches from the earth to the moon.

For how long?
For how long will you keep kicking your legs?
For how long will you keep waving your arms about?
For how long, exactly,
Will your head come up
And breathe?

And even if you reach the end,
Even if you get out of the water;
Even though you made sure that nothing got more wet than it needed to:
Your hair will still be dripping,
Your eyes will still sting.

I'm running away.
I look back.
You're standing right there.

Speechless.
Emotionless.
Tear less.

But I can still see your sorrow.
I can feel it.
I can breathe it.
I can't stop it.

I'm still running away,
And I can't quite remember why.
I floated away,
Like a wooden boat on a rough sea.
Floating, anchor less.

Wave your arms toward me, baby,
Don't speak, don't scream.
Just beckon to me.

You know that you are the fire that lights my sun.
You know that you are the wind that burns my face red.
You know that you are the water that flows through me when I feel dry.

So call to me,
Like the shore calls the tide to wash away the gritty sand.
Call to me,
Like the moon brings the waves to her lips and kisses them goodbye.
Call to me,
Like the slim beam of light calls for the safe passage of the wooden boat.

Call to me, baby,
Because you'll bring me back to shore.

Someone once told me,
"Find someone who puts the stars in the sky just for you."

"Don't be ridiculous,"I said,
"The stars have existed for billions of years;
Stars are dead, made of chemicals.
They can't even knew that we're here.
They don't know we survive.
They have seen more profound love than ours.

Stars do nothing for us, hell, they don't even shine that bright.
They just twinkle in the distance,
They have nothing to do with us.

How could I find someone
Who can put a gargantuan ball of gas
In a vacuum that we don't even know truly exists?

I would prefer someone who
Is smarter than you, and who knows that all I would really like is a good cup of tea."

I saw a picture of you and me together,
And I realized that I'll never  hold you like that again.

You'll never be there to hide my pain behind violent bouts of laughter;
Your warm neck will never offer me comfort anymore.

Of course, I was sad,
But then I wondered, why?
Why should I be sad when you're not here?
When you don't exist anymore?
When all the atoms that made up you are in the mud
Just like you wanted?

Of course, you didn't deserve to go,
But then I wondered, why?
Why should you not go to the place where we all will be eventually?  
When that is where you were gonna end up anyway?
When you knew that you had someone to love and be loved by
Just like you wanted?

Of course, everyone tells me it's okay to grieve,
But then I wondered, why?
Why should I be sad about something I knew would happen?
Something that I had been preparing for?
Something that would take all your woes and miseries away
Just
Like
You
Wanted?

Her body, tired.
Her limbs, overworked.
Her baby, forever wailing.

Laying bricks around,
That's who she is.
The little lady,
Who puts houses together
But couldn't build her own life.
That's who she is,
Forced to survive,
Forced to be something
That she was never born to become.

She goes to sleep after washing off the dust,
That she knows will collect in the same places tomorrow
And the day after that,
And the day after that,
And the lifetime after that.

Laying down the concrete,
That's who she is.
The old young lady,
Who mixes cement for a living
But couldn't glue her life back together.

it was a Saturday, last June.
it was a beautiful day.
we'd been talking for almost a month and I was excited to finally meet you.
you made the hour drive to my town and picked me up from work.
mini golf, lunch, a walk by the water, and our first kiss.
it was perfect.

if only things had stayed as perfect as that first day.

now, you lie to me.
you lie about me.
you say you're not in love with me anymore.
you say you're not sure about us.

are you ashamed?
have I done something wrong?

am I not smart enough? not pretty enough? am I just not enough for you?

what do I need to do? what do you want?
just tell me, and I'll do it.
I want nothing else.
I only want you.

it was a Saturday, last June.
I fell in love with you the moment I met you.
and now I'm supposed to tell those feelings to take a back seat so you can decide if you still want to drive.