I try not to get tongue-tied when I glare at the obvious wrongs before me...

I cannot continue to constantly cry because I bleed my words out for no inspiring reason.

Wondering why we wake up and try to live our lives surrounded by people who tiptoe on their words, stepping onto those that they think they're superior over, I included...

But beyond myself, will anyone else be bold and brave enough to say what I just said?

Or instead, glance by, unphased until your dazed by the fact that you had a chance and yet you blew it, bombed it, tragic

Sad, yet, longly lost and losing hope in humanity, for the humanity that brings hope seems to be from a different reality

Dead or distant, but both are fiction to the now and the present, attendance is key, but if you're gone, or gone, you can't say that you belong when you and I know that's wrong...


In the end, no one wins, because instead of fighting together for something better, we separate, isolate, and we hate, just because we want to control something...sometimes..

leading to nothing...
Fun things burning behind the masks people love shining
Thinking it's better to be fake than to say fake
Even though lives are at stake...

...
And yet I bet I'm right.
People don't want meaning anymore that isn't repetitive
for even if it was repetitive, someone would find something to wrong, linking to a sedative

Sleeping soundly, waiting for the world to end
But what will you do if it already is
Pretend to not care and destroy your whole life
Cutting up your story into pieces with lies lining your knife...

In the end...it always restarts again.
No change, so how can we even win?

You can tell someone
Your whole
Life
Story...




And all they heard was the mistakes you made and who was involved in it.


You can tell someone that you loved them, and all they hear is the regrets they feel about their past.

Settle,
I want you to calm down
As there are things to provoke you

Still,
No need to turn blue
You're enough as is

my,
How passionate you are
What a beauty, a star

Soft-spoken,
To speak in a whisper
I hear your melodies

Heart,
Please don't fall into the temptations
They want to see you dead

We stand in the shadows
Clapping
Full of colors
We're happy for you
But don't you forget
We live in the shadows
Though our words may seem hallow
Might our theme seem so shallow
We can't forget our emotions and drive
We can't regret our choices or cries
You can't diminish our silent whys
We sing in the shadows
It's a bittersweet disguise.

Seems the kettle has to fall before anyone realizes it was singing.
Guess we clip the bird's wings before we know it once could fly.
No one acknowledges someone was tortured until they've died.


When someone hurts in the world, they're not allowed to cry.

If I held my breath every time I thought of you, I wonder if I'd die,
Set in pause, held there forever in my subconscious, lingering,
Parasite,
You're not what I fear.

I've lost my words to play the right song,
So instead I smile and I play along,
If for every time I wanted to scream, erasing you from my dreams...,
Would I drone in the background, neverending?

What's this that I cannot wipe away, ash and shadows, symbols of decay,
Ghosted by hope, I hope to one day forget all of you that lingers,

Because unless you come to me as a polar opposite of the one that broke me...
I'll never be able to remove the grip of your fingers.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, and words will really hurt me

For you to try to bully does mean how much you're hurting

When I fall down I get back up, take this advice, if any

To mute me, or anything just makes you more of a weakling

Sometimes the shadow behind me is larger than me, but i guess, go figure
Seemingly empty, I stare in the mirror, I want to feel like a winner
Trying to go back in time in my head causing mental butterfly effects
Like falling dominos, I get knocked over, over and over again
Building a picture from past mistakes, wisdom crafted like it is glass
As I ******* freedom and then I pay with my life, I feel as though my life is always moving way too fast

Sitting somberly wondering if anyone can see me
Seen and forgotten, lost and already rotten
Questioning my value over some **** that I salue
And chilled over by the journey of the lone

Don't call it to pity to acknowledge that I've always journeyed on my own
A solo campaign is the only life I was pretty much only shown.

It's okay to smile alone because that smile is probably the most sincere smile you can give.

I watched the rain come down with flames and sounds so loud

oh my

With towers falling people calling screaming daunting withered souls

Oh my

Why won't you listen kids, why don't you see the slits on my behavior

what a danger, i'm that stranger

psychopathic little lasers

whoa what a shame I see, the demons come running at me

Oh my

Yes favors come with stones to drown you till your drowning bones

Oh my

Now that we just began you'll see a somber ending done

OH MY

No happy endings here, reality is what you'll fear.

Watching sheep go leaping by
As fountains fill over my eyes
And colored my whole world night blue
Which caused these sad feelings that grew
Oh my, oh my, look at the time
Speeding like a light in the sky
Crashing forward to end our lives
Repeating dreams inside my mind
The story of my brittle life
Lit up in flames sent with a strife
Leaving me dead frozen on sight
Stopped moving, now I see that light.

I didn't want to let go...
of all of our memories
of the long lost nights talking
of the dreams we'd share to one another
of the interest that was once mutual.

I didn't want it to change...
at least not into this
i liked you so much
i couldn't tell you what this feeling is.

But you let me go, and I fell on your shallow ground...
i wasn't the prettiest, so you didn't want me
i wasn't the funniest, not entertaining
i'm not the most colorful, so you didn't see me
but you used to...what happened?

Yet, after I told you that I couldn't watch you disappear...
and although you didn't seem to care
somehow, i felt relieved.

Because it wasn't you that I was going to lose...
but just another part of me.
i saved my self, and i got away.
i truly cared for you
after all the things telling me not to...
and you let me get away.
thank you

I stare into you like you are the key
Wondering what you see when you look at me
Reflecting off of your rippling beauty
Gawking into your endless inspiring sea
I've never seen a light so bright, behind someone's smile
And if I'm honest, smiling this much, and laughing; been a while
I want to entwine with you, locking hands as we lock eyes
So many pictures with a different color for the skies
I can see your soul, crowned on you like a king with power
Blooming, I know what you are to me, your more precious than the sun, you're my soul flower.

The order shifted into chaos the moment I met you...

and now I'm falling gracefully...

curious, I wonder, what do you ponder...

Like a pool piled of puzzles...

You surprise me, and then you don't...not that it hurts me to be so...

What do you see when you look at me...

Brought from Heaven
Made from a spell
Summon an angel
Ring the honey-bell
Fall from the sky
Wish upon the star
Here I come, my love
I'm closer than I am far
See that shimmering
Reach out to grasp it
Cause it's me smiling
Something you won't resist
Bring out a miracle
Enjoy the fortune
Feel the serenity
Let me sing you a love tune

The first time in a long time, you've finally been able to rest.
No, not a rest your eyes for a few minutes type of rest.
The real deal.
You're on a break from your job.
From school.
Life has started again.

You can talk to your friends.
Really plan a date this time...
You've been talking to a guy/gal.
You can't tell if you're starting to fall for them.

You've never done this before, but you've wanted it so bad.
You don't get complimented often.
You've never been flirted with by someone you've been attracted to.
It's not like you're only into models or pseudo-**** guys/gals.
Your type of "average" is cute, so your bar isn't that high.

You get a text message from your phone.
You grab it and read what it says.
Your eyes widen!
You clutch your chest!


...Your heart stops.
It drops...




Far
   far
       far
         ...down...


                                         "I've found someone!"

There's a story to be told
One with hidden treasure and gold
All you need as the keys to receive
Are some patience and humility...

There was a foundation set in motion to walk upon
Broken by the chains of a destructive bond
An insecure one and a soul as black as soot
Both broken and bruised by the world's cold heavy boot.

Once in a time, the two had met, a week in and war was set
They both saw it coming
But only one intended to leave it with something.

Fallen they were when the smoke finally fled
Soul shattered, the insecure, nearly dead
The darkened one made way with the fallen heart
For to ****** away hearts was how this dark being was fed.

Could it have been avoided, yes
But hope and desperation was what set this fight into motion
Many nights and many days have passed
But the insecure one's mind is frantic with commotion

One day the insecure grew into a new self,
One so much stronger and abundant in mental wealth
A heart that could forgive such a tragedy,
On a search to willingly promote that dark soul's better health.

Wherever this tale may venture to,
Hopefully, it's somewhere good and healthy too,
For if it prospers so too will a reason to hope,
As a heart with some form of hope, it is a soul, in any state, that can cope.

I saw it look at me,
And, then fled,
Something, as scary, as they all said,
So I followed it into the woods,
Cause if you had a brain, you would.

I gently, tip-toed, over the stuff,
A branch, some boulders, some weak, some tough,
Until I saw a shadow nearby,
I knew they would never tell a lie.

They said it would eat me if I am near,
Take me captive so no one would hear,
And they all had a play in all this,
Now here I am in the woods with it.

It noticed me and then it stretched out,
Laid on its stomach, a friend, no doubt,
To let me pet it and without fear,
So that's what I did when I got near.

Now when I visit, I call its name,
"Osten" for ostensible, the same,
My friend, my ally, my companion,
Who would have known it'd be a dragon?

Building blocks come crashing down
Like my mood when no one's around
Can't decide to smile or frown
Sometimes It's like my lungs are bound
Now I am pleased, bundled some trees
Set them ablaze and scorched the leaves
Can't clear my name with petty deeds
Sacrifice so my soul is freed.

Lately, they've been stormy; trapped in a field of electricity, I'm scared. And as I ponder the world once the clouds aren't so heavy, the world with clarity; I find myself wondering...




do they care?
i am aware  ¿


Shaken by the voices in my clouds;

                                       you will never be enough
                                       You are unworthy of love
                                                       Give up
                                    They will prove us right again
                                  They will break your pitiful heart

                                                         ­           I'm covered in this darkness.

Swallowed alive by the destruction in my ever-living mind
Why, why must I strive for the basic right to breathe...
to live
to laugh
to love...

When I look above I follow below, who knows this answer.

I'm stressed, floating, choking, hanging by my thoughts
Stuck in the clouds.
                                  .
                     ­             .
                                  .
              ­                    .
                                  .
       ­                           .
                                  .
­                                  .

Finding the path in which my purpose lies...i try. With a wish upon a star for 21 summers and 21 winters, I may only plea that it come true.


Because...I'm scared
That if It doesn't
I'll forever...be stuck in the clouds
Floating
F
A
R




a w a y~

It's easy to complain
When you can't see your gain
But it's easy to praise
When their hurt seems worse than your pain

It's okay

Some will say

It'll be alright

No delay

No decay

A fresh home insight

We can see

A blue sea

Welcome peace in me

Come in two

Merge in three

May the rainbow sing

If you were to jump back into time, you still wouldn't have changed my mind.

You were the bad fruit on our line that had to be pulled off of our vine.

So fermentate and be useful to the tortured creatures of nature.

You're just like them anyway, like me too, but to them, you're much better.

Sometimes I can't help but smile when you come by.

Nonchalantly moving throughout your routine riddled day.

I ponder if I exist in your world; if I'm an important part of your story...
or just another piece in your background.

Who am i to you?

Who will I be, mystery man...?


                                            Often times I glance over, wondering if you'll ever desire to converse with me.

                                           Sometimes I lose myself in the forbidden realm of fantasy.

                                                  I don't want to wander into misfortune.

                                                    ­                        I don't want to like you...
but with every glance over, i find it harder to look away.

                                                       There are little longing lost thoughts  where i know my fear is wiser.

                                               I'll never be able to tell you these things... and you'll never know how compelling you are to me; a stranger in your world;

                                     Inviting you into mine.

Steady
Anxiety climbing up my back as we cling and latch on,
Pulling, gripping, 'til we're up, up, up, and on top,
Paused
Peering out at the world, gawking and gazing,
Vision reformed into the lens of a fishbowl,
Intensity
Sweat racing down our faces as our hearts patter more paces,
******
Yanked by the Earth, like lightning from the sky,
Why, oh, why, we yell with no tears to cry,
Falling
Exciting as it may be, terrifying, we fall, fall, fall,
Tantalizing
An ending to the torment, so close but so far from our fingertips,
Spun around and tossed, like a pinball to a jester, tricked, fooled,
Entertained
A little under the weather, we're getting kind of queasy,
Hoarse from all the screaming, some are kind of Weezy,
Calm
At the end of the rollercoaster, shock, pause, disheveled,
What a journey it is, what a wonder, fun, scary, hard, emotional,
End