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And just like a lightswitch
Im over it. Over you.
As i lay there
At 3:45 AM
I knew you did to
Lay there

You had your
Own bed
Own life
Own love

I knew you
Wouldnt ever
Be stranded awake
At 3:45 AM

And i should be
Happy for you
But instead
My heart stops.

I will never be
The 2 am call
when you need arms
And you can't fight.

I wont be
The one you
Spill your heart to
On the worst day.

I will be foreign
And the only land
I'll know here
Will be you

A tourist in
What i thought
Was my home
When i had none.
Shoutout to the people who joined this beautiful site that i know in real life.

Lindsey Isbell
Dayton
Evan Hayes
Brittany
Bianca Grace
Jon Wilkes
Anonymous

These are some amazing people who ive grown to love and cherish in the last few years and they are all very deep and intelligent and i couldnt wish for better friends. I hope more of my comrades chose to navigate the blank page with inspiration as the wind behind their sails and i hope they share their work with me amd the world.
Its Cold
Colder than you
such a sudden shift in your eyes

It was warm and golden
now all the color is draining away
for winter
In a month ill be over you because im not one to linger anywhere… But youve made me sad like you promised you never would. I dont think you understand love but how many times have you said it? Too many really. Because it was never true. You dont understand the things that come with love. Loyalty, bad and good ****, understanding, being open. You cant do everything for you anymore. Theres someone else to consider.
I hope youre alone. I dont say that because i want you to be sad. I just want you to learn to be alone and be happy. In the 4, almost 5 years ive known you youve either been dating someone or ******* with 6 different girls. Sometimes both. And youll be offended but maybe you need to be. You need to be with yourself. Maybe hurt yourself the same way you hurt those girls. Then maybe youll under stand.
Ill be ok. Im not sad anymore. in a year ill go to college and you will just be that guy i loved in high school. That guy i gave my virginity to. Ill tell my future husband about you and hell say “wow… Sounds like a weird time.” and i smile because i had fun and it is a fond memory. You.
But if you think that you can walk out when it suits you and come back when youre lonely, guess again. Its only been a week and i already know whats better for me because youve shown me every day that youre a toxic person.
I hope you learn to love yourself because youre really worth loving. And then i hope you learn how to love others. I want you to be happy. So amazingly happy in life, but not by hurting others. I know youll be ok. Because i loved you more and im fine. I know youll be ok.
I uploaded this on my tumblr (nomadicgemini) but i wanted to put it on here as well
Ive never slept so well
before going to sleep
thinking of you

and I guess this
is what Love
feels like

your hoodie
my time
and our lips

traded

and I don't miss
my time
because I know

its safe in your care
just as I am
and you in mine

and I want to
wake up beside
you

and sleep
with you
too
I've decided - upon inspection
That I've been dead
And need dissection

An Angel appeared
Through the abyss
That I feared

An afterlife is no life at all
And though im still alive
I've done all but tried

Try as I might
I might try
To take flight

But this....this vessel
Of a bird
Has not reassured
That what I've done
Has even won

So

I'm hard to find
Because I'm kind
I'm dumb
And numb
And so denied
My friend wrote this and he refused to post it and told me to post it myself. So i did. I highly enjoy it. I hope you do to.
I can't forget
All the sacrifices
And I can't lose
All the alternate vices
And I'm drunk
But I taste
Your hate
And I'm stupid
But I know the weight
Of the things you
Are giving away
For a hope
That maybe one day
We will walk down an aisle
And say I Do
Even if
You give up
What you don't want to
Am I worthe loving
Am I worth that much
Or are you just hoping
I'm more than enough
Because I don't know
What I can give
If I can't even give you
A Sam or a Kid
You say it's ok
That I'm all you want
But I know better
And I'm not a lot
Please don't leave.
I aim to please.
I'm so sorry
I'm trying
Please.







Please...
I am actually drunk and I'm sad and he's asleep and I tried REALLY hard to avoid typos. Please.
I want to be done
I want to move away
I dont want to think about 5 years
From now
And still be crying over you
Because i never got over you when i could.
Youre just magnetic for me
And i cant deny your ability
To make me forget
How bad for me you are
Roses are red
I'm done
Just like the seasons you became colder with time
The boy who used to be filled with warmth was now an icy block of self loathing
and I couldn't bare the biting way you looked at me when I said I didn't love you back
I made you cold and stole your warmth
I'm sorry
and if you were to **** me I would not blame you
I can only blame myself
And if your life were to end by your own hand
I would feel soaked in your blood
because I was to blame for your death
and I'm sorry
There are so many words in my head
and some just aren't enough
This is old poem #1. Im uploading some poems from... a while back. over a year at least. This one was about something I always held over my own head
Everyone is hung up
Over some sad love
Lucky for me
Mines you
Everyone loves
Someone who loves
Somebody
Brand new
Sadly for me, you love somebody, not me, and I don't know what to do
Can you remember
like i can?
Can you
surrender
your upper hand?
Can you hold back
your time sand
in hopes
we can
return...

Back
to joy
and secrets
and trust,
Back
before we
were filled
with lust.
Maybe
we can
burn.

memories haunting me
holding
the melody
of our voices
singing
in sync

our souls
screaming out
wishing
we hadnt
missed out
before
we knew
too much.
Begging you to love me
Choosing to never love you
Ok so I've been on HP for a few month now and I love the minds on here and I was curious what you guys do to get over writer's block. I have an 8 page short narrative story due May 1st and I cant make myself write it for some **** reason so if you brilliant people have any suggestions I'm all ears.
A Kick to the face
A poetry account
Grammar ******* ****
My friends call her a hottie

Shes childlike
and fun
shes surely #1

Her boyfriend is
lucky to have her
sometimes i really
wanna slap her

shes sitting here beside me
so she can ever faithfully guide me
to write with correct punctuation
to spell with a level of graduation

She likes hugs
shes a bug
i wouldnt have her
any other way

shes warm
she laughs alot
she brightens
everyday

a best friend
annoying girl
sister like
helps hold the world

she says im nice
im just honest

i could go on
but class is over
go follow her
Brittany
The track is
Sk-
I-
Pin-
Ski-
Ski-
Ski-
Skipping
Like the thoughts in my brain
And the flat line sounds like my heart
Going to sleep
With *** on my lips
You on my mind
And bruises on my hips

I cant tell
If i have no self respect
Or maybe my mentality
Is just wrecked

Or maybe this is healthy
The entertain and please
After all im a ****
And you have needs

What a perfect match
I have what you want
But I dont want anything
Isnt that just hot

I dont even ******* know
Who the hell i am
I only write when I'm lonely
Only sing when I'm alone
Only talk to
A chosen few
And I never get to moan

I don't have a muse
Aside from idleness
I don't have a home
Just temporary nests
I don't know anyone
I just think I do
Like I used to think
That I knew you

I'm lonely quite often
Even though im surrounded
I'm never content with my lovers
No matter how good they did
Youve got me locked up
In your eyes
And the way you smile
And the way you say
"youre mine"
Over and
Over and
Over
Again
Until its engraved
in my
Mind
And you say
Youre mine
But i
Can
Hear the lie
Between your teeth
I dont speak
I dont tell you
I just stay locked in
Until i get alone
And just being
A foot
Away
Gives me
Liberty
Independence
Nostalgia
And the i realize
How captive i truely am
Adrenaline
And
Shaky hands
And i guess im not so good.

Im insecure
But you want more
And
I dont know what i can give.

You dont care
About my flaws
You
Have
A goal
In mind

Easy come
Easy go
Im afraid
Thats
Exactly
What
Youll
Do.
You were my reason to go to bed
And my reason to wake up the next day
Now i get no sleep
And throw my life away
Is it worship
Or just adoration

Am i too much?
I need vaildation

Insecure and vulnerable
Lost and unsure

I try too hard
I dont know what for

Approval is vain
Its point is lost

But i cant love myself
Without myself as a cost

No self respect
Is needed to thrive

Less is more
Ill manage. Ill survive
Where did she go?
That little girl
That pretty girl
Who so badly
Wanted to sing

Dont you know...
You still can!

But youll sit
And listen to other voices
And never feel worth a dime

And maybe some days
Youll feel pretty
But youll just see a more beautiful
Face

Youll crawl back to your cave
Of insecurities and wonder
"How did i get this way?!"

And youll be more upset with yourself
For feeling this way
Than you will
With the life that made you.
Wow its been awhile since ive written or posted. I find myself kind of falling into insecure moments where i dont want to TRY because i can see the failure so clearly. So i apologize for my lack of posting
This is a heavy kind of calm
Where my brain stops
And i cant breathe
It sits on my chest
Instead of my head
And because of it
I cant think
And maybe
thats why people
Never think
When theyre
In Love.
That arrow
To the heart
Missed
And hit
My lungs
I'm so tired of these same four walls.
Chalky and full of everything
I want and fear.
These walls know me
Like nothing else does
And yet they confine me
I want out
This is a comfort zone
I'm not getting anywhere.
I want to break out
And just be crazy
I want to know my dreams
I want these walls
To know a girl
Who is NOTHING
Like me
I wish i could decipher
Chemical desires
Do i want your heart
Or is my chest a liar

I can hold your hand
And it just feels warm
Your lips dont have
Me feeling torn

But you can say some
Dorky line
Or you can
Look me in the eye

And you can bet
I cant feel anything
But the clogging of my throat
And my heart fluttering

Ill brush you off
Our of self preservation
I dont know how to feel
Without emmense reservation
No this is not a love poem. Dont be dumb guys.
If i look in your eyes
And flick you a smile
I can drive you crazy
For a little while

If i touch your arm
And lightly say your name
Youll manage to forget
That this is just a game

I can walk past you
Making you drool
Without even a word
Youll act like a tool

And maybe im cruel
But its just so **** easy
To collect disciples
By acting a little sleasy

I cant help that you follow
Wherever i lead
My little puppy dog
You do what i heed

And if you stray
Ill tug at your rope
Then ill push you away
Til you come back begging for hope

Maybe youll read this
And finally run away
Or maybe it will be me
Making you stay

Dont think im naive
I know what i do
I know how tightly
Ive a hold on you
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
In hell, tell your father hello from me
Your just like your parents
Cold.
Your father gone
Your mom says love wrong
You've played two people
Played me a fool
Now I understand
I was a toy
A tool
You tell them one thing
Laugh with them
Poke fun
And then post lies on here
Act like I'm
The one
To ruin your life
To treat you wrong
You were the liar
And I listened to your song
I'm not the villi an
Just stupid enough
That you could come in
and pretend you weren't tough
Act hurt
Fake a limp
Like the puppy you were
And in the end
You're a fraud
And I hope your happy with her
All of the hers
All the she's
All the girls
That's will come in your life
And let you in their head
All the ****** fools
To take the place of me
The ones who will
be cloaked in misery
You're so full of **** and I hope you die sad
I'm just waiting for something
that takes my breathe away
something beyond shredded
couch cushions and New Jersey TV
I want to see Mountains in the fullness of their splendor
I want these dirt roads to mark the place
where I first made love to a boy who broke my heart
I want to see the sky from eye level
without crying because I'm afraid of heights
I want to swim in water so deep
That the sharks get scared to dive there
I just want to be fearless
irrationally brave
unbelievably foolish
because my whole life up until now
has been so practical
Lack luster
uninspired
its hard to find a muse
in polos and khakis
and I'm tired of being tired
of doing nothing
My nail polish
peels
like wallpaper
on a dead house

and i suppose
thats
what i am
a dead house

decrepit and torn
broken
down and old
from 16 years

of broken mentality
***
******-manically wanted
Lips, Hips, thighs.

But what if thats
gone
and my wallpaper is
peeling like ripe fruit
Ranting raving
Lunatic
The way you hold
Yourself is
Sick
No respect
Lack of love
Bowing down
When push
Comes to
Shove
I cant be your
Boat
When your
Anchor
Sinks
I cant
Sugarcoat
What
I
Think
Youre bitter
Malicious
Angry
Sore
This way
Of thinking
Is
A bore
And she said
"Oh this...
This is a beautiful life.
I just dont think
Life
Is meant
For
Me."
I dont remember
Feeling my skin
So much

It used
To just
Be there

Maybe
It just
Reacts

To
You

It never used to do
This

Goosebumps
Shocks
Tingling spine

All appear
When you say
"Youre mine."

Innocent corners
Boring nooks

Nothing happens
Unless you look

My way
I dont even know. Just pouring my thoughts onto the screen.
You lusted
You loved
You cared
And you died
I wanted
To run
Away
And hide
Dom
Dom
Control freak
to
control freak
This will be a duel
Your hand
in
my hair
Using me as your tool

Youll tell me
What to do
Ill manipulate
The scene
Youll be
the cruel master
But youll never
Be mean

I can play
the kitten
Harmless
Just wanting
to play
And then youll
Lose control
From the ***** things
I say
Dot
Dot
2 am coffee rings on my bedside table
procrastination at the expense of a letter grade
Nana's hand-stitched quilt has never felt so soft
But her funeral hit me hard
That quilt draped over her coffin
matched the color scheme
of the one she made for a little girl
who love butterflies and spring time
I remember pool side juice boxes
stuffed animals from a pretty lady
she was nice to me
her mom was mean to her
she cried at the funeral
Nana was a better mother to her than
her own ever dared to be
her sister found cigarettes
shes so thin now
I remember her lipstick
its always been red
it looks so red on her skin
the color of the ash
that falls from her stick
matching the skin of Papa
Nana's son
He sang at her funeral
He cried the whole time
Everyone cried
Not me
but I cant cry
Jade Green words
she read them
spotty reading with bad rehearsal
but I remember
her and I and him and my brother
juice boxes
quilts
that pool
its all her
and
I wish I had known her well enough
to miss her
My Nana's funeral was today. Her quilt is still in my room. She made us a few. It means a lot more now that im out of chances to thank her for it.
I will never be enough
My feet long to walk
Until i reach the ocean
Where only a boat
Might take me further

My old habits
Catch me
By the hair

I
Feel
Like running
Away

This night is cold
Colder than anything
But maybe if you
Were warmer

Id Actually
Want
To
Stay

No
No
No

I cant
Blame
You

Its me.
It has always
Been me.

Im afraid of words
Because i live
In their power

Love
Holds far
Too much
Pain

If i could live by the ocean
Maybe
Maybe id stay
I just had to talk to something
I bet your personality
Can fit between your *******
I can find your smile
Drooling between your legs
Show me how you dance
Sitting on my lap
Your laughter is contagious
Your moans are a thunder clap

Carnivorous and hungry
Can you handle me
I dont know what
This night will be

Tell me about your family
While i pull your hair
Is this your favorite band?
What else will you share?
Be my barbie doll
Be my sweet ****
**** me with love
Ill just take the ****
Everything about me
Is someone else

My lips are my mom's
My eyes are my dad's

My clothes are my cousins'
My laugh is the sky's

I can't even lay claim
To my own cries

If its not someone else's
Its void of a name

My shaky hands
belong to no one

My pale skin
Knows no other touch

If i claimed it ever
It was stolen away

I lose myself more
Every single day
You cannot look into my eyes without seeing burning, lustful sparks
Filled to bursting
With what you want
To be love

But all i see
Are limp
Loveless
Ponds
Algea
*******
Them
**** its so cold
But its colder
In the palm
Of my hand

I guess thats why
You stopped holding it
Or maybe its because
I told you to

And my hair hangs
Like curtains
Hiding the room
The family hides from guests

Filled to bursting
With so much ****
All of it stupid
Useless

Im the room
Standing on wobbly
Foundation
With mold creeping in the basement

******* this white noise
Its so loud that i cant hear
My fathers disappointment
With my failing grades

Failing
Everyone
As
Usual

I just want to be alone
But then im alone
And i want to be anywhere else
With someone new

And the sun is setting
Behind the silhouette
Of tall, dead trees
In the yard

Dead
Its all dead
Its wilting
Falling

And you can see it
Im everything they do
The people are the trees
Lack luster, thin, old

How are we dead
Before weve had
The chance to live
God ****** how
This was the poem i had intended to upload and i tried to copy and paste it from my google docs folder and my phone messed up and copied a different one.
Cages
And my ears itch
Cages
And my eyes twitch
Dirt
On a solid floor
Blood
On an iron door
I can't think about it
I cant leave
I try to be content
But I am restless and afraid
And your hugs they feel like cages
And I my mouth anticipates
And my lips are always dry
And my mouth swells in size
Because touching burns like acid
Kissing tastes like it too
And I can't help but try
And escape from this life with you
And I see
Cages
Around my life
I feel
Dirt
Between our skin when we touch
And my
Blood
Tries to leave my body
Because your affection becomes too much
And I don't know
When I became scared
I don't know when
I lost that flame
But I feel
Cages
Dirt
And blood
Suffocating
They say im strong
well how can i be
ive put up a wall
all around me

come break it down
come shatter my chains
i clasped on myself
holding me sane

They say im mean
well what can i do
ive learned im no good
for not loving you

come break my heart
crucify me
if i dont talk
what would i say

im a *****
im a ****
i dont owe you a thing
im tied down
in this rut
my own
circus ring

you wont lie
you could die
just electrify me

tonight
in moonlight
set me on fire
I think im nostalgic for life
Through music
And books
Because i havent lived
A day of my life

No one really lives
In this town

And i think im poetic
Because im homeless
But i live in a house
But im not
Im not poetic
Im just a brat
Stringy hair
Sunken eyes
Greasy teeth
Rotten lies
Sweat soaked nightmare
Fueled with gore
Clenching teeth
Weak and sore
My mind holds this
An abominable leech
Perverting beauty
In all it sees
Polluting love
To twisted hate
Making resentment
Smear every mate
I cant look at you
Without seeing a ghoul
I dont see a goddess
I see a fool
Everyone around me
Sees the brighter side
I cant help but see
What the smiles hide
Tear this house
Board from board
Store the trash
Hoard and hoard
Living simply
Wall to wall
Little box house
Small so small

Pour me out
On the street
Nothing to wear
Nothing to eat
My whole life drifting
House to house
Never making a sound
Quiet as a mouse
"How do you keep so unattatched?"*

What do you mean?
I hear this question so much.
I guess you just dont see.

I'm not holding back
Or doing anything
I just don't know how
To hold onto anything

I never had a home
Or any long term friends
Letting go is manditory
Everything ends

This isn't a good thing
I don't know how to love
Don't try to be me
It hurts. It's numb

I'd rather be attatched
Sown at the hip
Helplessly heartbroken
Longing for your lips

Instead i despise you
For latching on so tight
I just want to run
I know that isn't right

So don't ask me that again
There's no special trick
If i could love i would
If only i could stick
An explanation
No matter how i delude myself
How many distractions
I cant get away

My mind is screaming terrible
Awful nasty things
And im locked inside

I used to not be this way
I was happy at one point
Now ill do anything
To stop it

If i give myself away
Its because your
gross sounds
Sound better than nothing at all

If i talk on a bad day
Its because im
Losing sense
And control

I need noise on the outside
To reasure my brain
That it wont fall apart
That maybe im still sane

And ill tell everyone im better
When in fact
Ive never been worse

I cant shake these voices
Its like im carrying
Some brutal curse
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