The burning feeling in my stomach calms me.

I don't even mind.

You have been my friend for years.

Feeling myself starving makes me feel alive.

The crawling under my skin. Too familliar.

I'm in control of my destiny, or am I?

My body is disappering and I don't care.

Do I live or die? It's up to me.

My old friend. I haven't seen you in awhile.

All the years we've spent together, makes me feel close to you once again.

Do we go down together this time?

I don't care as long as you're with me.

You're the only one who never leaves.

With you by my side I'd do anything.

Even destroying myself in the process.

Please set me free..

From my painful past.

From the dreams that'll never become reality.

From the hopes that he'll come back to me.

I no longer want to be a slave to a love that has ended.

Please, let me let go.

Up on the hill we were watching the city beneath  us.

A city in constant movement, completely unaware of our existence.

We felt like the world was ours to take.

Oh, the plans we made for the city of lights..

That night we promised each other forever.

Wearing your way too big hoodie I gently kissed your forehead.

Hoping the night would never end.

For once the sky was clear, I saw a shooting star and made a wish.

That our forever was real.

With you laying in my arms watching the stars,
talking about how we waved at ourselves from a parallell universe I thought it was.

But sometimes love isn't enough.

One small sign was all it took.

I'm back where I started.

With false hopes that he still cares.

Maybe he hasn't let me go either?

Painting pictures in my head that I know he'll burn without hesitation.

Once again I'll be watching my dreams with him turn into ashes.

Like a gentle summer breeze he is touching my face.

So soft and warm.

Playing with my hair and kissing my skin.

I breathe him in, a hint of coconut.

He's everywhere, my summer air.

Even through the coldest nights he comforts me.

To remind me.

He's always there.

My heart is playing tricks.

The butterflies were going one direction.

Only to be caught up in a storm.

And now they're flying all over the place.

I guess that's the beauty of it all.

Not knowing which way the wind will take them.

A blank new page.

Staring, wondering.

What should my next chapter be?

Where do I go from here?

The blank pages have no answers.

The pencil is trembling in my hand.

I take a deep breath as I write

Now live.