I'mma make this quick
I'mma make this clear
There's more reason for us not to talk
Take this information and adhere
I'mma take you *****
And ******* hard enough to hear
There's no reason to say a word
***** you came, everyone has ears
Don't you even ask,
This is a one time thing
As matter of fact
I take my ******* number back

I just had the most beautiful dream of my life
Me and my beautiful naked wife
And she laughed at something I said just how I like
How did I end up meeting such a beautiful life?
And second, what is the name of my wife?
This is just a dream, but I'd like to know to avoid future strife
She's more beautiful than my hands could ever write

I wish I could have see her face
She was felt but not seen
Heard but no given name
I have no time to play this love thing

Don't make me your residue
I am no longer with you
If you remember, 5 months ago you scrubbed me off
Don't continue living in me like an empty useless loft

You can replace a damaged object,
But you can't replace the damage you've inflicted on a person

Here I am, in this dream
Sitting beside this squeaky swing
Without you in it next to me
I feel this empty pit inside of me
It's deep, endless, and painfully excruciating
And you filled it with your love for me
You took away the pain for me
Without your love I'm completely empty
Empty like an eternal dreamless sleep
Empty with a dark void within me
And your love was the light within me
The only light that cared to shine for me
My purpose for life is alone and empty
I have nothing to dream of now that you don't love me
My broken heart is still shattered and it screams
Knowing that you don't love me
I'm swinging on this swing
The other one moving with the breeze
The familiar squeak mocking me
Cause when I look I see it's just the breeze

She broke a barrier,
A wall
Funny how tricks look and sound so real
Love, the idea seems so trill
Except when you lose what you wanted and it's better to let go
I swore she was beautiful
But my perception was cloudy when I was swearing
My final perception of her is fake
Fake is just an ugly imitation of beauty
*But, on the positive note, at least it's nice to look at from the outside.

Thick women more down to earth

This is still broken
I have been living with this for years and time has not even healed it
Time cut into it deeper
Making what I've craved more mouth watering and beautiful
Draining the life out of me, but circumstances forcing me to keep going
Drawing the energy out of my blood stream, adrenalin keeping me up, making me seem strong and unbreakable
I've broken through and through
I've just been holding on because of you
But now I don't need to hold on anymore
I'll just take this gun out
And bleed red all over the floor

I've got to make a decision, make some moves.
Live and learn.
Take it a day at a time.
No matter if you lose.

Lesson learned.
The first little piggie bought all he could afford
Made a house of straw
Knowing it was temporary
And that it would fall
The second made a house of sticks
It was all he could work with
He knows it's more stable than straw
But all it takes is a flood then away it flows
The third
Made a house of stone
He said "No one is gettin into my home"
He put in more effort for the comfort of stability
The third pig has taught me
That's the way I want to be

I'm not sure what to say as I pen this down
What I am feeling is making me drown
In a sea of emotions, of feeling
I no longer know with what I am dealing
I want to tie heavy rocks to my feet
So I don't float up from under the sea
Symbols of life don't help me
Symbols of love, regrets fill me
A sea, empty and full, of feeling
A darkness destructive and unyielding
A blackness that fills me whole, contaminating everything that it please
Even the bit of relief I get from writing hasn't set me free
I'm going on my own, the sea being my coffin, and the darkness my company in this unending dream
I'm not even bothering to fight
*I've already lost the battle and the war

Beauty stares at me so senselessly
Thinking herself born a daughter of ugly
She's aggressive, impulsive, but gentle and caring
Who couldn't see anything more beautiful than her in sun lit mornings and perfect sceneries of golden sunsets
The Universe couldn't spin anything more perfect
Couldn't create anyone better
Trouble finds beauty to be priceless, following her everywhere, trying to obtain her in his claws
But the important thing is, beauty has no laws

We're in the middle of nowhere
Except trash bags are our tumble weeds
And the ash is our wind
The broken trees the children
And the fire our kin
The ash moves beneath the dry leaves
The fire plays within the broken trees
And the children die from choking on ashes

Happily ever afters
They are fake story endings for me
Why not put the truth in it?
Cause in life there are never any happily ever afters
Even in my dreams there are never any happy endings
Life is no different
Life is a gamble
Where worse can get worse
Or better can get better
But most of the time
Worse gets worse
And better can't get better
*Life moves on even when you're dead

I hate this **** we call life
I wish I could give up
I wish I could cry
When I just want to die

I wish I knew what to do
I wish I had a clue
But I'm clueless
I'm the most clueless person out here
I don't know what to do

Do I cry or do I deny?
I deny everything
But I can't anymore

I'm growing up
I don't want to grow up
I'm not ready
And I didn't think I ever would be
That's why I tried to take my own life
That's only part of the reason
Everything else is what makes it worse
The pressure
The expectations
The stress
The everything
Becoming an adult
Everything
I'm scared
I'm tired of it
My time to be an adult is almost near
Why can't I be a kid again where I didn't remember or cared about these things?
Sometimes I feel numb or overwhelmed with it all
I just wanted it to end
Why can't you take me?
Why won't you let me die god?
I've tried to hang on, but I'm tired of hanging
Just take me
End my life and bring me to you
Why do you let us hurt when you could end our pain?
You know we hurt
And we'll seek solace in anything to make it better
Even death
I tried seeking solace in death time and time again
Why can't you let me die?
I'm not good for anything but taking up space and time
Why can't you
Please tell me why can't you

According to me
Every minority
Is black to me
Bring all my non-straight non cis siblings
Bring all the brown skins
No matter what shade of brown
Cause
We are all the same
We matter less than the majority
They have the authority to **** a minority
Even did this to them in their own lands
Still time stands
Change is not moving fast enough
It's a shame it'll take years to a decade to save innocent lives
It's shame that it'll take several decades before muslims are no longer stereotyped as terrorists when white people have always done terroristic **** to their own race and each and every other and never get labelled a negative connotation such as "terrorists"
Even a white **** can walk into a school to shoot it up and the rep of white people would not be tarnished with the word "terrorists"
But I can't walk into a store with my book bag without someone thinking I'm stealing clothes when I'm just simply looking to buy dish detergent
My skin shouldn't automatically make me a suspect
And your white skin shouldn't automatically make you more innocent
Skin that's white, isn't pure
It's true that poison holds the formula for the cure
No wonder why the color black is seen as evil
The color white is seen as innocent
It was applied to our skin for us to never win

Forever an ******* deprived from grief
Because the girl she wants had to leave
             Her want for her is excessive
Because her heart, it forever rests
And you claim I should have no excuses
But,
Look at what you do?
The Rose that has broken you,
This isn't what she'd want you to do
But that's none of my business
I'll keep sipping tea till I'm through.

The darkness of hopes
Are darker than dreams,
because they're almost dreams
but get crushed more often
They're the crushed dust we walk on
The sand papered bones of our dreams
Bleached white and forgotten in mind, but not in heart
Buried beneath the feet of people who've forgotten and your own
These almost dreams, that are your own fault, dig themselves up from the dead or not so dead and haunt you
Becoming your dark hopes, creating your dark dreams
The darkness of your old hopes brings down your new ones and dims down on your dreams
And the darkness of your hopes will bury you in your forever dark dreams

She was right to call herself inhumane
By all the words I see her saying
You can tell that she ain't playing
I had no right to play with the inhumane
Trumpets announced the three musketiers
Pamphlets and paper announced I needed better
Had to write down a few more letters
Before getting what I needed to hear

She was right to call herself inhumane
But every thing has a weak spot
Go ahead and poison yourself, throw up your liver in the ******* ***!
She was right to call herself inhumane
*See, we was each other's play things, only just a game

If your beliefs cause you to harm an innocent
Then there is something seriously rotten in you, and wrong with your beliefs

A judgement is still an opinion
And you have a right to it
But no where in your rights does it say it has the right to bother me
Good day you.

I'll feel the same anyway
There's no changing it
I said I'd be polite
That's the best I can do
And I'll tell the truth

You think I'm ******* rude??!
COME SEE ME!
Not your ******* mom and dad
You are a grown *** man
You're my uncle
I didn't go to my mom about this
I came to you!
This **** was between me and you
Not my grandmother or grandfather
If you had a problem with me, don"t go to someone else about it
COME SEE ME!

i don't give a **** if you're mad
****,
Talk to me about it and I'll tell you the ******* truth
I'll be straight up with you

I wasn't being rude when I told you I didn't like you
I gave you obvious hints that I didn't like you
Then I finally tell you, and you're ******* mad?

HA!

I didn't realize you'd be so **** childish
You ran to your parents about this
I didn't run to my mom about this
You said to her you got a ******* rude daughter

If you've got something to say to me, ******* say it to my face where I can hear it
Not behind my back
To everyone that's not me
You made the business between you and me everybody in the family business
But
I knew you'd do this
I ******* knew

How trivial

I know the truth stings
someone once gave me the truth
And it stung like hell

Now I'm dishing it out, and I feel better doing it
Now I know how chyna felt when she told me the truth
But at least she came straight to me about it just like I went straight to him about it

I hate people like that
You'll tell them straight up how you feel about them, but they'll go to someone else about how they feel about it, about you

People need to break the politeness and cut to the chase
If you don't like someone please tell them after confirming that you don't like them
Stop being fake
At least I'm trying to be real
And sometimes I'm scared to be real and honest with someone, because people absolutely hate seeing the truth sometimes

But be honest
Be real

That's what I'm trying to be instead of some fake wanna-be

My birthday was this month
I feel kind of old
I feel like I should be somewhere else
I guess
But literally nothing I can choose makes sense to me
But it makes no sense to choose nothing...
*There's really not much of anything

What about yo **** self?
What you been up to lately?
Who YOU been ****** with?
Why are you concerned about me,
and what I'm working with?
Tell your story before you start scribing fibs of my life
Your life is no better than mine
For this I don't have the time
But I do have the pleasure to write
Loving this much feels like a federal crime
Everyone's so concerned with what's mine.

Everything you do to stand out probably makes you stand in.

To have a soul so crushing it slips through the cracks of another
To ever touch a soul so deep that it drives you to insanity with beauty
To ever wake to see this soul, this bare soul will change you completely
To have a soul so crushing you feel everything
To ever touch a soul so deep that you could do nothing but fall into it
*To ever wake to see that this is the soul you're wearing with your eyes

Pinpoint buds of flesh, rubbing
Our moans syncing, harmonize
Gripping each other in ecasty
Bucking hips and soaking wet bedsheets.

I'll let it flow
I'll let it stream from my heart to my pen
Scratching against the paper vigorously
I create beautiful art out of words
I create a beautiful picture in a thousand eyes
I create a beautiful or terrible feeling in a million hearts
I can break or fix a heart with one line
Mend a soul with two lines
And revive a spirit with three lines
I can do this only until the last word is written and read

If I don't belong why am I here?
I don't belong
So tell me
Tell me why I am here
But everyone doesn't see it
They don't see that I don't belong
My quietness hides it
The way of my denyness
The way of my self lies it's...
It's self hatred, self harm
Why did I lie when I stood naked in front of a mirror and said out loud and in my head five times that I am beautiful?
I didn't believe one bit of every silable in that word
Not for myself
"Beautiful."
This is a lie I could never take in
Never believe in
Never see even if others try showing me
Imperfections Imperfections
I don't want to be perfect
I want to be someone else
Someone who's more than me
I want less and I want more
I want less of me and more of someone else
If only I was more
If I was more I could do better
Could be better
Only
Only I'm stuck with this
This unbeautiful me
An unbeautiful creature than everyone and no one sees
*I am part of everyone and I am part of no one

When will it ever end?
When will he stop ****** his sister?
When will he stop molesting his daughter?
When will she stop beating her son?
When will she stop talking down on her daughter?
When will the killing sprees end?
When will  all the unnecessary pain go away?
When will her boyfriend stop beating her half to death?
When will our stories be told?
When will we stop the killing sprees?
When will we ever see what is wrong with the big picture?
We keep what we don't want in the shadows and in the cellar
Nothing can be fixed if it's in the dark
It can only be fixed once brought to the light
And the light heals
While the darkness kills

I need to practice the art
Of letting go irrelevancy
My mind is overthinking my past
Overprocessing my future
I'm keeping myself in a constant loop
And getting absolutely nothing good from it

I hope she hasn't been creeping on my page at all.
She's just not a guest here that's all.
I have to stop letting my feelings dictate me.
I've been standing in my past so often lately.
I need to breathe.
But I haven't found the right oxygen.
I know that's my problem then.
But don't you ever act like you don't have your own.
Just us pathetic excuses.

Who am I?
What am I?
I am a girl who can't ever be defined by few words

How do you define something you have never come across?
How do you define what you have came across, but don't know how to describe correctly?
And you can only describe it in a few words
The words aren't enough
It's a part of what I am
But not who I am
How do I define myself so I can fix myself?

Everyone is a mystery to themselves
I know what I do or don't like and what my intentions are
I'm sure everyone else does

But who am I?
What is my essence?

I thought I defined myself before
But those are only words that could change at any moment

I am still those words
But
I think there's more to me than just those few words

Who am I I ask
I say *I am myself

You don't get that I don't like you
I gave you hints that were obvious

You called me childish
How the **** am I childish?!
I said I didn't feel like talking
And you call me childish over that??!!

Yes I'm rude to you
Only because you annoy me in a way I can't explain
Everything you do annoys me
I tolerate you at best
I try to be polite, but I just can't help but feel angry or frustrated when I'm around you

I unfriended and blocked you on Facebook!
That should of told you I don't like you
If I don't want to be friends with you on Facebook what makes you think I would want to be your friend in real life?

Yes I know of you, but I don't know you and I don't plan to
Yes I know why you went to jail
Cause you killed someone
And yes I don't care
Don't give a ****

I honestly don't get why you never got that impression
Yet, you have a conversation with me about the way I've been acting towards you
You talked, and I sort of listened
You told me about being in jail (which I don't care about)
You told me that you don't take disrespect in any way, shape, or form ( And I'm just thinking shut the **** up please)
Yet, you didn't
You talked the whole car ride (which was the longest fifteen minutes of my life)

You're my uncle yes, but I don't have to like you
You were never there (And I understand why)
And when I first met you I knew, oh how I ******* knew I wouldn't like you
I knew even before we formally met that I wouldn't like you
We talked on the phone twice before we met
I knew then, and I know now that I don't like you
If you demand respect, then fine
I'll be polite as I can, and make fast to cut every conversation you try to have with me
I know I'm being a bit harsh, but I simply don't CARE
I'll try to be as polite and nice and I'll try to be as straightforward as I can
And maybe soon you'll get the impression I've been giving off
Or maybe I'll just tell you
I don't plan on changing how I feel about you
Though you might try to change it
But the best I can do is tolerate you, and be as polite and as nice as I can

Uncontional love doesn't mean unconditional relationship

Am I the only one here?
Did I make everyone disappear?
Did my ear splitting scream deafen your ear?
I'll scream till my voice is gone
I'll leave when the forces are on
When will I be cheered on for my common senses?
Can you listen?
Cause I want you to repeat this

My broken glass rose
I collected all the petals
But someone took them away from me
Why?
Why did she take them away?
It wasn't even bothering her
And now I just have one left
But it's more broken than the others I had
She doesn't want me
not like I care anymore
But I am your kid and you are my mother
And not a good one either
You hate me cause I like guys
Threw a knife at me and told me to **** myself
bleed yourself dry you said
But I'm still here and you hate me
You've taken all my glass petals and only left me one
One that was more broken than the others
Just like you you said
And left the room
My broken glass rose is all gone
Cause you've now taken the last piece of it
and me along with it
And she's thrown them all away

You were, for a moment, my favorite read
Even believed, that, for a moment you were my personal creed
I gave good advise, if you only had listened to my heed
No amount of meed
Can pay back everything and succeed
But my heart it feeds
On nothing it ever needs
These feelings that breed
Nothing I want to feel indeed
Numb my anxiety with all this ****
I can't wait to pass the deed
I'm sweating bullets in constant beads
For my moment in the lead
My beautiful brilliance will be keyed
And my emotions can be freed
I can't wait for that special someone who'll have me queened

Love is painful
Real love is where you choose to go through that pain for someone and that someone does the same for you
And you both try your hardest to make the pain go away in each other

We wipe our ***** with trees, just like bears do.

The door to our lives is to our hearts
The heart that holds all our fear, love, and hate
and everything in between
The heart that decides to love when we don't want it to,
hate when we do or don't,
and paralyze you with fear you wished never showed
even though it does
it does all this to teach you
to push you
and you can have it bring someone in
or you can push someone out even if you don't mean to, it's your heart protecting you out of fear and sadness
The door to our lives can open or close,
shrink or grow,
can brighten or darken in any way,
heat up or cool down,
can move fast or slow or not at all....
or it can become hallow and lifeless
the termites of everyone and everything eating through
it can break, bend, or twist
it can cave, explode, or flood through everything
the doors to our lives can do all that and more
you can chose whether to close it or not
but if you ever get confused over being hurt
just remember the door isn't a door it's your heart and can be easily broken or even misshaped

The woman in white has done it
Ran me into **** again
Oh,
but she's the baddest habit
Like hard drugs and liquor
And it's even harder to kick her
She's as unavoidable as the law
People wanting to bust my *****
Cause of the woman in white

She is ecstasy in the purest form
Look at her hard delicacy
She's exactly who you feel coming

None
Not an inch
I wonder what it all meant
Progression
But tell me
Tell me
Ring the bell chief
Bring me every ounce of grief
How are we "better" or "improved"
What have we planted in the youth?
It's too embedded in the root
It's no good, it's too rotten for real growth
Too many don't know or never cared beyond their own selfishness
People who can make changes only do a little of that for themselves
What is drugs, parties, and women?
The wheel is spinning fast and only right now you're "winnin"
You can't pick and choose what kind of person you see in yourself
*You're in need of some really good help

It is time we sit down
It's time we have a talk.
A discussion among adults.
Without the childish insults.
Help me help you see my point
I'll respect you and do this in return.
How will we become wiser if we don't?
Life isn't only in your perspective
Not always in your eyes
Your eyes are willingly closed if you can't try to see what I'm seeing.
But mine isn't as closed off as yours
It is your reasoning that is seeming.
To me, you want to be as free from the consequences of your actions as you are to make them, and pin it onto someone else.
This cycle of selfisness and greed will always keep us from being freed.
We will die from our selfishness tonight.

The tingling sensation, it feels cold, but it's the homiest feeling I've had since I was six years old
A crater large bowl full of emptiness
A sleepless night over other's carelessness
Lists of excuses and procrastination
Time wasted on wishful imagination
Cryless eyes and tearless faces
Unmade tries and changeless races
Running time and short ends
No traces