Everything ends
Nothing lasts forever
Nothing's ever built to last
It will all end

Yet in the end
Another book shall be read
Chapters be unfolded
New story to be ended

If I live happily ever after
How was it called
a happy ending
If it is the end of everything?

~Ends~

He rises with sun as the evening fades
with a blank on his face, he goes back to bed
asking, when can he die?
and when can he live?
for he felt like dying even if he breathe

He stands with sun as darkness evanesces
with tears on his face, he walks back to bed
asking, who did this?
and who did that?
for everyone's a reason that he wants to live not

He climbs with sun as the shadow's gone
with a hope on his face, he jumps back to bed
asking where's the blade?
and which wrist is?
for a an art of red will help him resist

He soars with sun as gloom dwindles
with an exchaust on his face, he crawls back to bed
asking what now?
and what then?
for he's tired of things that never conclude

He ascends with the sun as the night withers
with a smile on his face, never he left the bed
saying how fascinating,
and how wonderful
for finally his boring story will come to an end

As the sun perishes and the shade prolongs
everything cries as he dies
he is waiting for this moment
and for the last of his time
through death,
He smiles

When my smile radiates
What the sun can't bear
And when my eyes lied
About how I died inside
It would be very easy
To say that I am happy
And if you'd say so
I wouldn't want to dull that hue
But I'm glad that I could fool you

I'm tired
I'm tired of everything
I want to cry
I want to shout
I want to explode
I want to stop
I want to do something
but I'm tired

I want to curse people
I want to curse myself
everything, and everyone
who caused me
to feel like this
to feel lost and alone
so vague and so drowned
to feel so tired

I felt suicidal
thinking death could end it all
but I don't know
I've been overthinking so much
and my mind is tired
my heart is tired of pain
and it's palpitating with grief and hatred

I'm useless, so worthless,
nonsense
I felt nothing
no one

and despite all of these
all I want is someone
someone to support me
someone who will care
someone who will be there
because I'm tired
but no one dared to
no one attempted to
and no one did

that is why I'm tired

i am not happy
i am not sad
i am not feeling anything

i am so empty
i am so blank
i am so numb to everything

After a 12-hour slumber,
I still hope it is the lack of sleep
That makes me weep.
It is so much better
Than being sad for no reason.
So yeah...
I hope it's just the lack of sleep.

Right now I just thought
Of my fourteenth verse
And I'm starting to run out of blood
What ink must I use
So I would traverse
With quite a euphonious thud

one, two, three teardrops fell;
behind these, you were the reason I can tell.
four, five, six steps away;
without anything, you are the cause, I say.

seven, eight, nine miles from peace;
I've been bothered, because of you at ease.
ten, eleven, twelve pairs of dresses;
next time, you won't be the reason of this sadness.

Crimson water
From honored realms
It does not drown
It overwhelms

F-or I've been yearning for a bond or two
R-are it is, for my sad tableau
I- was plain till I found a book
E-asy not, it's a slow and gentle cook
N-ot a one can ruin this sweet, simple art
D-on't falter it doesn't stop there
S-ometimes, importance swims in the air
H-orrible it truly is when death takes place
I- miss those times when everything's ablaze
P-arted we may be, but kept in each heart

rainbows did not interest me anymore
I could always hear my demons' roar

a sound sleep could not save me at all
how would you expect me to stand tall?

even the flowers that bloomed through sun's ray
couldn't make me smile, couldn't make my day

a hug could help, but only for a minute
deep talks made sense, but no one swam through it

laughter became rare and expensive
I couldn't afford one; even my tokens were evasive

they said sunsets could make you happy
oh... um... really?  

what sound should I make when I drown?
should I shout or should I just frown?

it felt like death; I've always wanted to die
happiness was silent... and so was I

A small rhythm I hear in my cage
Beat that sings loudly when I leap page
You whisper even when I sleep
Whose noise has depths of an ocean's deep

When I'm with exhaustion, you demand for rest
With fastest song, you stop me with your best
Your music continues as long as I live
But when I'm done, you'll proceed on other's rib

You never fail to bring me heat
The heat that comes from a single beat

I am a clown;
the bringer of delight
It's my job to paint a smile
on everyone's faces
A quiet room shall be invaded
by laughter and noise, through me
It is my joy to see them happy
and my pleasure to know
that I am the reason behind it
It's my desire to share this energy
even if it does not come back to me
and yet, they got used to it

and so they thought
that my happiness does not fade
that it continuously grows
as the river flows
that my energy lasts forever
that my smile cannot be erased on my face
and my laughter will always be heard

but they were wrong
it all ends
yet no one even noticed

with that I knew
that I was falling on a cliff alone
and my mistake is not that I jumped
but I waited
I waited for a lending hand
but there is none
and then I tasted the rock bottom
how fool of me

I refused to speak
learning that no one would ever care,
listen, or understand
they know that I am a clown
but they forgot that I am also a human
a clown can also cry
my happiness can also die
but no one,
no one did a thing or two
some pretended to care
some did care
but no one cared enough
and yet, I got used to it

now, I am a sad clown
the mourner of the night

I cannot make them happy
I can't feel their energy
I cannot hear them laugh
I can’t give what I don’t have

No one comprehends a poem
Better than a poet
It takes an artist
To fully appreciate an art
And no one can understand a child
Better than a loving mother

Now I know how it feels
when you get drifted away
from someone you love
but they never did leave
I pushed them afar

I didn't want to
but I just did
but trust me
I didn't want that to happen
I didn't want you to leave
I didn't want you to keep distance
I didn't want you to be gone
I didn't want to
but I just did

I did it because I'm sick
I did it because I need to heal myself
I need personal time
and I don't want you to be sick, too

but now I know
that having you gone
is worse than
having me sick
but it's too late
you're all gone
you're nowhere to be found
I can't find you
I can't see you anywhere
and I feel guilty
I feel all the negative things
surrounding me
and I'll be taking this burden forever

I am guilty
I am guilty of missing you so much
A sorry can't heal any wounds
but hope does, a prayer does

and I just hope you're fine
I hope you're okay and well
I pushed you away from the black hole
because it's for your own good
It's for you

I did want to
and I did

the nights are longer than days
stars are tangled on a grey mist
trees shout winds that never were felt
nothing but darkness
there are no people anywhere
nothing but my body
suddenly, a storm came running after me
sharp lightnings everywhere
wild tornadoes in the air
I seek to run; my knees bleed
my feet ache, and my joint hurts
and I found myself on the cliff
nothing can help
no one can
and so I jumped
I fell
and the sky full of mist fell on me
all the winds, the storms and
everything fell on me
oh, sorry, I can't handle my anxiety

I have been writing poems
As if I am forging my own armor
Yet it seems that what I have made
Is more than just a hefty covering
But layers of sky-piercing barriers
And armies of unfamiliar soldiers
With their faces reflected in mine

Yet with all these defenses
It still won't be enough

For the words I bleed fail to nourish
The wise owl I aspire to become
And the weakest of the weak
Isn't invisible behind thick walls
Nor will he ever be invulnerable
To the crippling echoes from outside
And to the storms he sewed himself

But as I am doomed to break
I will always be bound to fall as well
Down the rabbit hole of poetry

Moonlit debris falling like snow
From the once-towering houses,
The boiling ground will make you tiptoe
As the city’s about to turn into ashes.

The sounds of shrieks and fading screams
Will be much louder than faith and hope.
You can only trust your remaining limbs,
For there will be no time to cope.

Behind the stench of burnt trees
Is a growing desire for rain —
Just to remember where your heart is,
Just to keep yourself sane.

But it’s too late now.

You will need more than water,
You’ll need more than seers —
‘Cause I set the world on fire
With these flammable tears.

Anxious may the sun be when he smiles
Roaring seas stop, reflected in his eyes
Wrecking all the stars nailed in the sky
In a single tear falling from a mile
Never has he lived on this place
Deep inside his head is his space

Journeys with you have been evergreen.
One in a million, you are a rare find.
May we keep our bond and everything within
Even when our stars would get misaligned.
Remember that you will always have me.

Like no other, you’re a miracle.

Be it at rock bottom or at a dead end,
All along you have been my best friend.
Let’s honor the friendship we have declared
Together with the memories we’ve shared.
And whatever path we choose to roam,
Remember that with you, I'm home.

I didn't know that peace was false
in the eyes of a silent man;
that I was deaf enough
to hear screams that sought for me.
He never spoke, and never did tell,
so, I simply mirrored the silence where I fell.
Through that, the clouds got darker,
since then, the nights got even longer.

How pretentious silence can be.
How it easily fooled the people around me.
How truth was washed, and revealed
that no one can read
all the ink that I bleed

I am innocent

I swear I'm not responsible
For any damage she's had
I swear I'm not the reason
Of her tears at night
And I swear I did not intend
To hurt and scar

I am guilty

I'm guilty for being weak
And guilty for being a kid
Guilty for committing a mistake
And for the actions I make

Misdemeanor; such ******
I slaughtered the feelings
We had for each other

Loving is a crime
And I am afraid
Of committing it again

I've screamed screams that no one has ever heard.
I've been to worlds that no one has gone to.
I have cried tears that no one has ever saw.
I have scars that I refuse to show to anyone.
I have known truths that most are not aware of.
I've seen things that most people don't see.
I have known failures that most are afraid of.
I've won battles that no one can ever survive.
I have experienced nightmares I didn't choose to tell.
But most importantly,
I have been loved with the love that no one can ever give.
I have God... and that's more than enough.

A new face
A stranger
One that can resurrect a withered flower
My eyes were stunned
It’s more like I’m dreaming
Please don’t wake me up
This feeling’s overwhelming
I think I’m in love
But I do not know exactly
Is this love at first sight?
Why does time run slowly?

I was jealous of everyone near you
You have hurt me unconsciously
I manage to come near you
And finally, I was with victory

Lots of things happened
More on pain than love
I became selfish
I just wanted to be with you
But it turned out
That the love I offer is not true
Nothing’s wrong with you
It’s about me
I thought I was in love
I thought it was love that I felt
I thought you were perfect

But I was wrong
Love’s not about perfection
It’s about accepting flaws
And every single thing
All I had was infatuation
Nothing
But a deep, deep thing
Now I’ve realized things
I’m sorry for all the damage
All the troubles
And mess

Don’t worry, for you,
Promise, I will learn to love

"I want to stay,"
I told myself.
I want to enjoy every bit of second,
every moment, every day,
every time I get to distract myself
with the happiness I feel.
But I shouldn't,
for I should not.

Perhaps staying
can be deadly sometimes.
No matter how much you wanted
to stay on the same boat,
on the same ground,
or the same memory
over and over again,
eventually, you will eave.
Because you'll need to leave.

Perhaps leaving
isn't that bad after all.
No matter how much
you wanted to hold on,
on the bond that took years to build,
on trusts that took seconds to break,
and even on promises that took forever to wait.
Eventually, you will let everything go,
for you need to let go.

A person, an emotion,
a feeling, a sensation
would somehow be enough
to prevent me from growing.
Because of that single reason,
a child continues to wonder.
But I realized that I shouldn't,
for the reason that I should not.

This time I free myself.
I shall wear thicker skin.
I shall heighten my walls even higher.
I shall make my heart a little bit colder.
Perhaps it's not bad at all.
Perhaps it is what I need after all.

I may stay on the same ground,
but with a different pair of shoes.
I may stay on the same boat,
but with a different direction.
I may stay on the same memory,
but with a different me.

Don't get me wrong,
I want to stay, I really do,
but I do need to grow.

One lone wanderer
Meets the soul of another.
Even across the...
Night streets or ancient rivers,
Great journeys start with strangers.

blame no one
blame not
for no one did know who
and no one knew what
let's ask the blood on the floor
seek the final breath that was gasped
all did a thing
yet all did nothing
somehow, indeed
that was everything

yes, I slaughtered the body
who lies with blood
I was asked to do it
I was forced to do it
my deep condolences
with all of your losses

no, crying is not demanded
pretending is not needed
caring must be shown
to the living
because the dead
can never feel a thing

I think you already know the answer
but you will never know why
why the murderer of thee
is the murdered me

would you allow a stranger to invade your life?
would you let noise overcome your melody?
would you dare to open door for someone you don't know?
would you take the risk?
'cause I did
and I don't regret doing it

that when a new taste blends within your soul
a new face is smiling next to your whole
the sun was left unseen, for your eyes were enough
and the colorful stripes shine brighter than they did
I was overwhelmed, indeed

but the door, you broke the door
and all of melody's crashed on the floor
you were different, a faceless who
how fool of me, to trust in you
you who play the pretentious game
but, sorry, no, that game's too lame

you were a stranger
and nothing but a stranger
you will always be stranger who's faces are danger
don't worry, you can stop pretending now
I have let silence overcome this noise
I closed the door for anyone's voice
it's a great risk that I took
and look,
I did
and I don't regret doing it

Paper coffins cannot contain us.
Aren't we more than what we were?
However, though, we ignore hiatus,
I know that we are bound to falter.
Not always can the tired eyes try to hide.
Give them all the rest you can provide,
And don't ever be caught in the landslide.

Nights are sometimes starless,
Even the farthest astronaut knows this.
Not always will the stars ask for a midnight snack.
And at times the moon would have to turn its back—
Keeping itself hidden behind the clouds.

A thousand fireflies do not bring heat,
Though light is what they seem to emit.

Every time the sun grows tired of burning the sky,
People would begin celebrating its forfeit.
And at times a lantern is just enough to live by—
Keeping the night warm and lit.

I often think that I have a curse
That always gives me a pair of wrung hands.
Because whenever the sun falters,
My mind starts to roam around foreign lands.

Just when the moon decides to appear
And gently reveals its current phase,
The usual thoughts would be somewhere near—
Preparing to have me locked in a familiar haze.

As the worn out city goes to bed,
Raging storms roar inside my head.
Internal monologues become so much louder,
And all that I could ever do is to suffer.

Beneath the sinking star
Is a massive quicksand from afar
That leads the wanderer into the deep,
Yet all that he wants is to fall asleep.

If winning you
is by losing myself
I'd rather not play the game

I guess i'm too weak
to fight for love
that eventually ends
as the game is over

Zeppelins, blimps, and a chopper —
Over the moonlit sky they hover.
Pleased to be not alone under the stars
Even when all we have are empty jars.
Live like we’re immortal we shall.

Just when I thought the night was long,
Eventual thoughts came like a song —
Reminding me of a potential epilogue,
One that possesses a silent dialogue.
Memory is the last thing I want you to be.

Jetpacks on, flap those wings with ease,
And aim beyond the outermost layer.
Zeppelins will do, or a blimp if you please –
You and I shall come across the moon chaser.

Any sound of silence can lead us straight to her.
I know it, for she's always been a familiar song,
Rewritten over and over,
As the diurnal storms prolong.

Moonlight shines the brightest on this day,
As its chaser was born a decade and eight ago.
Right now she paves her own way,
In hopes of surpassing the lunar halo.

She came from where the wildflowers grow,
Often surrounded by the people she needed.
Like an ocean, she was never shallow,
On land, her feet are always grounded.
May she become who she wants to be,
Once she reaches the moon's gravity.
Nevertheless, let us see her fly!