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Ivy Mukherjee Feb 2015
And, you left me all alone,
left in such a silence that
I could't even believe you are about to leave.

You left an undefined scar in my soul and
my teardrops enchanted those memories we shared together
and laughed over them hours.

You went away in such silence
that all I could do is just NOTHING
but hearing you to mourn in such dogma.

Tears just drop by my cheeks and I just
wish you to come down and tell me,
              "I am here, my darling,
               Don't you worry child....
               I can't ever leave you alone."

They said, life isn't fair, life is never trustworthy.
Now I see an feel that hard every night.
I never felt that I can't hear your voice anymore anytime sooner or later.

It all comes and goes....
what matters is the in-between time
you spend together by thick and thin holding on to each other.

You were lying on the bed when
I last saw you and there also you were fighting
to get over that period.

Remember? We laughed there too when you said
you had 26 milk pies and I strictly said,
"Get well soon Dadu. After you go home you will be having curd-rice and "Khichudi".
..... And God never wanted that to happen maybe.
After that you couldn't go back home,
you left this virtual world that very night after suffering so profusely.

You were 72 and I was 22;
but we never bothered about this algorithm.

There were healthy talks over he sunsets, over the pages of my sketchbooks.
You were my biggest inspiration and critique for every work; cause you
always questioned their existence and morality.
You always chanted honesty throughout your life and give me
strength, so that I can follow your path.

One day, you will be a proud grandfather who will be seeing my works getting recognised all around the world and then we will laugh together...

Me, from the terrace and
You, from that sky.

Come soon,
come in a disguise,
come as my soulmate,
come as my midnight friend.....
....... but come back, please.
because Payel misses your presence and laughter.

I will weep and bawl on my bed some nights,
knowing I can't see you anytime ever.

That heart-wrenching pain and undefined scar in my lotus-heart will bloom someday with your desired presence in my success and failure both....    I believe so.

I believe in you,
I believe in us.
Because, God snatched one of my biggest possession without even asking for it.
You have to come back.....
... and you will.

To those talks and platonic love,
you are being missed Dadu.

I wish, I had some digits to call you up just to ask,
if they are providing you with some spicy food or not.

LIVE FOREVER.
YOUNG HEART N SOUL.
Rip Dadu(grandfather).
nobody can replace that emptiness which you made by going away.
laugh harder than ever and will try to cheers on life with that thought.
sickophantic Oct 2018
i'm from a small, yellow bedroom
yellow flowers, yellow layette
and yellow jaundiced skin  
i'm from the taste of the tea mother makes me when i'm sick
and from the sound of her singing
about how she looked and looked for the light
like the roots and the leaves floating in the boiling water
her voice a soothing sound
like bubbles in simmering tea

i'm from words written on a page-
the feeling of an old book and the smell of a new one
and i'm from hiding beneath the covers
falling in love with black letters printed on white paper
i'm from lots of illustrations and then none at all
when my mind became colorful enough to fill all the pages
i'm from "the game is afoot"
and "after all this time?"

i'm from all over the world
pieces of my heart, a jigsaw puzzle
like my family scattered all over the globe
i'm from canada, from the US, from france from lebanon from italy
i'm from a country nobody wants
but a country that desperately wants us back

i'm from messy hair, oversized sweaters
half-finished sketchbooks filled with promises
and ******* poetry lines
i'm from the echo of my own voice
against the splatter of the shower
i'm from reading in the flashes of street lamp lights
i'm from pursuing science and desiring art
drawing on the airplane's foggy windows
and wondering how it flies
with a clear head and with clouded eyes.
Robert C Howard Aug 2013
(Scene by the brook)*                                

He came seeking solace to Heiligenstadt
    and walked alone by its crystal stream
        welcomed by songs the nightingale taught.

Its cheerful waters made Vienna seem
    a distant, cool and forbidding stage
        where few would embrace a pastoral dream.

He dotted his sketchbooks on every page
    with earthen tones born of peasant heart -
        (though fare rich enough for any age) .                

He poured from the stream the fiddle part,
    and woodwinds sang with the birds in the dell -
        all "choired" together by his masterful art.

At Heiligenstadt Beethoven attended well
    and bequeathed us his golden 'Pastorale.'

*July, 2006
Nigel Morgan Apr 2013
It’s curious this looking business, looking at something you almost recognize as being what it says on the small white card next to the exhibit. Sand Marks. And these marks hang on linen-lengths two metres long by 40 cm wide. You don’t look at sand face-forward standing up with light pouring through the surface on which the marks are made. That feels unusual. The five linen-lengths are keeping each other company. A set of sand marks, marks in the sand. No. Marks from and of the sand. And why, She thought? What is this supposed to be about? Is this what art is? Grabbing images from under the feet. Their  making engineered, conditions in place to shape and colour, fold and crease, to hold and position rightly. Hmm, She reflected, and thought of her daughter as a child, sitting on the sand of some annual Scottish beach. She would watch her soon to be two-year-old moving beach sand and stones around with her hands, seeing tiny dunes and valleys and routes appear, and making marks. Yes, that would be it. All that watching, that as she grew up became observing and collecting and storing away as images caught in a moment and placed in the mind’s diary, then often lingered over later (as only children can) defining her personal curation of things natural.

Here she is now, her mother thought, all these years on collecting and revealing such sand marks onto ordered frozen surfaces. Would these collectively be an installation she wondered? How She quietly distrusted that word. It was part of a vocabulary She felt She might do without. When She looked at these ecru linen cloths printed and manipulated variously She saw her daughter’s beautiful (always beautiful) hands entering sand, making marks in the fabric of the beach – as a child – now as an adult. There seemed no difference. Just this summer She had watched her daughter mesmerized at the sea’s edge, seeing the sand marks wander, bend and twist below shallow water, just as these hanging cloths seemed to do in her gaze. There was movement in stillness. Her daughter would wait with her camera to capture just the moment when light and ripple came together in a previously imagined moment: a perfect moment she longed to seize. Then later, up on the computer’s flat, backlit screen, it would be shown like a moth caught in a net and pinned behind glass.

In this light-filled gallery, a gallery filled with the reflected light of the sea just a minute’s walk away, this often sombre contemplative work became light of weight and texture, lost its sombre colours, those non-colour shades of grey and canvas, earth and mud, and seemed to float, bathed in light, the colours washed and fresh, alive. It was a revelation that it should be so, and She knew She would carry this view of her daughter’s linen pieces ever after – changing her view of what she’d seen as a steady stream of similar often sombre images representing ‘a body of work’ – another term She disliked and felt was not part of her world of seeing. She thought, ‘I garden, but I don’t do ‘work’ in the garden. What grows under my care and attention somehow has to be and flows through and past me. I don’t own my work in any way. It’s not for sale as something of me. It has no price tag. Work is cleaning the house or dealing with minutes of a meeting.’

There were in this light-filled gallery other pieces to look at. Her artists’ books in a glass cabinet were quietly covered in lichen green board, some closed, others opened to reveal more captured marks, stains and prints. Open to touch and view She warmed to a pair of her daughter’s sketchbooks, delighting in turning their pages carefully, so carefully as not to shake up the often delicate flowing marks on the paper. She imagined – as She herself had drawn once - her daughter’s intense concentration drawing these wider scenes – across the sea to the horizon where a turmoil of weather took place in the changing incessant cloudscapes.

There was other ‘work’ too, other artists’ efforts taking inspiration from landscape. Strange too, to call these pieces ‘work’. Such a term seemed to give their collective creative industry authority and stature She wasn’t always sure they necessarily had. Much of it seemed more play than work. It was so often playful.

Her daughter, meanwhile, was deep in conversation with the gallery’s exhibition officer. Whereas She dipped in and out of this conversation, her thoughts revolved, grass hopping. She remembered hearing her husband speak of his concern about their daughter’s management of this still-fledgling career. A right concern about how family and career would be handled as recognition and opportunity developed. She shared this concern, but seeing her daughter glow at being in the very swim of this art making and showing did not for a moment want that glow to disappear. She knew she would manage, she had always managed and been resourceful, careful, and, She had to admit this, brave. Her condition of being a single-parent She, as her mother, had almost grown accustomed to; She felt She knew a thing or two about finding happiness and the warmth of companionship.

Those linen-length pieces hanging there seemed to intersect such thoughts. She found herself looking at her daughter’s partner who was carefully sketching the linen quintet. He had said to her once that he sketched (badly) to enable him to focus intently on an object, to learn from it. If you sketched something you gave it time, and came to know it as line-by-line, shade-by-shade, the image formed and your relationship to it. He was always careful in talking to her, and even when he began to tread across ground that She hadn’t travelled, he was so sensitive to her feelings. He liked to explain, to tell out his enthusiasm for books he’d read, for music he loved, for her daughter he so adored. She could see that plainly, his adoration, his wonder at her. He had wrapped this young woman round and round with his adoration, and this clearly gave him such joy.

It was getting on. Lunch beckoned. There was a signalling that this hour or so of viewing would gradually fall away. The exhibition officer said her goodbyes. Food was mentioned. She would give one last glance at the Sand Marks perhaps. The linen-lengths still hung there luminous in the vivid, brilliant, but cold light of this early April day. After lunch they would walk to the sea under the powder blue skies and feel that this too was part of such a glad day, a day She would take to her memory as full of the restful pleasure her daughter so often gave her. This dear girl – how often had She heard her partner use that word ‘dear’, knowing he addressed his letters to her with ‘dearest’. It was wonderful that it could be so, that her daughter was so loved. She wanted, suddenly, to throw her arms around them both, and let them know, without any words, that she loved them too.
Cece Feb 2019
The sunset girls with warm smiles and sweet laughter. With ice cream, diamond earrings, diaries, romance movies under fluffy blankets, strawberry shortcake, lemonade made slightly too sour with a pink paper straw and perfect ice cubes.

The midnight girls with a wild side and messy hair. With perfect eyeliner, surprising laughs, black sketchbooks, late night ramen runs, stolen oversized sweatshirts, black cherries, fluffy socks under polished black combat boots tied in a neat little bow.

The sunrise girls with addicting voices and perfect high ponytails. With slogan t shirts, velvet scrunchies, red lip gloss, chocolate covered bananas, paintbrushes and easels, early morning hikes, coffee with creamer, foam, and probably too much sugar.

The sunshine girls with bright grins and  kind eyes. With light blushes, sweatpants, rainbow sprinkles, nails painted, flower tattoos, peaches and cream, messy bangs, sketchbooks probably covered in stickers and crop tops just short enough to tease, paired with cute bralettes.
Louisa Coller Jan 2015
Rainbow sketchbooks and chocolate lay down,
on the wooden desk paid with broken cells.
The foundation *** which has lied to all the eyes,
hiding scars from my selfish life.

Money, shiny pennies from many, off of my father,
who will see my shine one day.
The drinks of cancer, which I force down,
hoping one day, they end my life as well.

The smell of lavender, purple flowers,
the spring is blooming my heart.
The stars are shining in shapes of torture,
the funny part of this joke is the truth.

Pillows, which are not made from luxury,
they are rather downfall when it comes to appearance.
Yet the softness, the cold textured feeling,
it warms my cheeks up with sweet medicine.

Lip gloss, I had once wore to attract a male,
who no longer cares for me in the fashion I wish.
Pink, red and blue… cream splatters all over my cheeks,
my eyes are green faded jewels lost in track.

Pictured life moments surround me,
her voice cuddled me to sleep,
when nobody would listen to my painful cries,
I once cried the tears of many hurtful lives.
krm Mar 2018
Oh, Andy-
speak to me in paints:
red, yellow, blue

When I told you I wouldn't be good at this,
an inability to sketch hands that punched at everything leaving me weak.
Keane's sorrow filled eyes upon oil made more sense to me.

I was never angry or mean, just sad and hopeless.
Lichtenstein was more your speed with obscene images of ******* women
and dialogue of broken hearts.

Van Gogh never made sense, but his attention to detail caught my eye.
To not know what goes on in your own head is identifiable so,
my head is art crafted by Picasso.

they hospitalize you once you've lopped your ear off
when giving a part of themselves to a lover.
I'm not cut out for this- the starving artist,
the tragic sketcher,
or the natural- born painter.

I've calloused my hands,
shed tears on pages of sketchbooks
put paint that looks childlike
and nothing worthwhile,
in all the time spent learning,
I've never learned how to be an artist.

I thought it was the mantra to be pained and miserable,
but you accounted for bold choices and vivid primary shades.
I feel betrayed, that my art alone, isn't enough to be good.

They will never frame my name,
or immortalize flaws in which could never be erased.

Like our conversation in my dream:
"I can't be mean." -Me
"Killing yourself isn't much different" -You

So Andy, what is the color I'm feeling? If it isn't blue?

—V.H.
A dream I had of speaking with Andy Warhol
Paul Glottaman Oct 2010
Someday I will be a parent.
It isn't that I wouldn't like
to avoid it. I would.
Loving something so completely
is a scary prospect.

My mother, regardless of how
we feel when we flew the
nest, built a world for me.
She never cried when they
stole our money.
When the insurance wouldn't
cover her surgery.
When the world got so
hard to live in, that there didn't
seem to be a point.

She wept when the teacher
told her I had talent.
She held me close to her,
rocking gently and smiled
as the tears rolled down her lips.
You were always worth fighting
for, my little one. My little
boy blue.

I saw her spend what little money
she had, from waiting tables,
from nursing, from a million
jobs she worked.
She spent it, not on the shoes
that her co-workers said she
had to buy, because her ankles
looked so sore, her knees
felt so weak.
She bought me sketchbooks.
Hundreds of sketchbooks.
Never a regret. She smiled.
She was proud of my talents.

How can you love someone
so deeply?
How do you watch as your
own idea of who you
are is ripped away?
I don't know that I have
that kind of courage.

I will be a parent, perhaps not
young like my parents were, but
a parent nonetheless.
It is inevitable. I know this.
I hope, regardless of how
I felt when I flew the nest,
that I can be the kind of
parent that never cries, except
to acknowledge how important
his child is.

I want her to know, when
my own child comes to visit,
that it has talent. That I
support it.
I want her to know that
I'm proud of her.
Lawrence Hall Jun 2019
No picturesque ruins will remain for us
To wander through with our sketchbooks and pens
For drawing pictures or writing blank verse
About bare ruin’d 2 air-conditioning ducts

The baptismal font will be repurposed
As a bird-bath (with a plastic Saint Elvis)
And the stained-glass windows will be sold off
As fashionable bathroom accessories

The crucifix of deplorable design 3
Will be stored in the back of someone’s garage
Until the girls carry it off to the woods
And laughingly use it for target practice

A rubbly field will serve as a soccer pitch
Until seventy years 4 have passed away


1  Wordsworth’s “Tintern Abbey”
2  Shakespeare’s Sonnet 73
3  Evelyn Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited
4  Daniel 9:1-2
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is:
Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com.
It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.

Lawrence Hall’s vanity publications are available on amazon.com as Kindle and on bits of dead tree:  The Road to Magdalena, Paleo-Hippies at Work and Play, Lady with a Dead Turtle, Don’t Forget Your Shoes and Grapes, Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go, and Dispatches from the Colonial Office.
Zombee Oct 2014
-






sometimes i wonder if i Learn anything -

sitting in the back of class with etchings n Sketchbooks,

looking through dimensions of a delicate World,

burning through the canvas with mechanical Pencils,,






.
sulking like the king of sullen
souls without a Queen..
..weening off the Pawns,,
"calling all my Bishops...

...this is the Night."
hiding in the Brooks.

- Bookworm




-
Lunar Jul 2016
Your broken guitars,
My finished sketchbooks--
That's how we are right now.

No more songs meant for me,
No more completed portraits of you;
We're blank and make no sound.

What if, back then, I had stayed?
What if, back then, I had fought?
Would I have loved you til the end?

What if, back then, you had found me?
What if, back then, you felt the same?
Would you have held on to my hand?
This is written from a viewpoint in the future: the time when you stopped loving him because you gave up. All because of the phrase, "What If". Because you have said "what if we are not meant to be?" in the past, now in the present and in the future, you ask yourself "what if we were meant to be?"

Written for Koreen. Please don't give up on loving him. No matter what.
I used to have a thesaurus in place of my heart,
fifty-thousand words to say how I hoped
I would someday feel.
In place of love, I had a fountain pen with a bent nib.
Instead of kisses, I had wirebound sketchbooks.
While other girls, giggling, wrapped
   phone cords around their fingers,
I wrapped sestinas in proper syllabics around enjambements.
        tiny crushes were
        replaced by Haiku gently
        wafting on the page
Love sick sighs were ignored in an echoing of
   alliteration and onomatopoeia,
and now I look at you and I rack my heart,
but I can't come up with the right . . . .
- From Picture of Yourself
Moonbeam Dream Oct 2018
when i flip through my notebook,
i see your name cluttered in its pages.
its scribbled in the margins,
scrawled in big bold letters,
and sometimes,
i can see where i’ve written half of it
before reality pulled me
out of my own head.
your eyes are drawn
in my sketchbooks,
your words are etched
in my heart.
and then,
there is nothing.
barren pages like dead forests,
filled with invisible words.
invisible words like ***** water,
trickling off of my paper.
the letters in your name
don’t haunt me anymore.
they don’t tangle their fingers
into my hair and pull at my thoughts.
your eyes don’t seem to
watch me,
no matter how long i look.
your words are still
etched into my heart,
like the carvings that cover
old oak trees,
but they no longer mean
the things they did,
my notebooks are filled again,
with all the colors of a sunrise
and all the sounds of an orchestra.
a thousand emotions bleed into
its snow-white pages,
staining them with a color
i’ve never seen before.
they’re filled with endless hours
of a dull pencil dragging
across a new page.
they’re filled with myself,
flipping through its papers,
as the sun creeps into the sky.
my notebooks are filled
with everything now,
but never again will they be filled,
with you.
Message me
C S Cizek Jan 2015
I forced my razor knife down
into an anniversary coffee cup
crammed with pens, pencils,
two pairs of scissors, and one
roll of color film I'm afraid
to develop. I jammed it in blade-
up so I'd have to deal
with the hard part first
like a blank page before
an accidental tongue slip
drips ink and makes the page
pretty. Some tree I've never met
and some pink dye died for me
to cover this pressed pulp
in illegible squiggles;

and I'll be
                  ****** if I let it down.
'cause I'm drawn to things
without opinions. Sketchbooks,
inkwells, rubber band bracelets,
a mixed-nut dragonfly rested
on my trampoline net. // Cut it
free // cut it loose.

Find a brick behind the shed
and smash it dead,—preteen me—
young Wordsworth me.
I pulled the sepia tape from Queen
cassettes and finished the glossy
plastic off with a vise grip in Dad's truck.
Old Brucey had mustard pinstripes
down the driver's side, all the way down
to the Germania General Store.

He was a blur to me before I could buy
my own Dreamsicles. Passing the chicken feed
and the resident, caged dachshund couple,
I saw his face for the first time. Seventeen-years-
old, staring at my grandpa through picture
and plate glass panes.

The angels he swore were real—the ones he payed,
praised, and prayed for every Sunday and everyday
the sun shined and everyday it didn't—

were now less deserving of heaven.
SunFlower Jan 2018
she was exquisite as she looked out into the distance, waiting for her coffee to cool down
I would watch her as she sat in the same spot every day
as if this was her escape from something far away
But what was it?
Is she debating on leaving someone or life it’s self?
Or the memories she placed on a shelf?
What about Rent?
Is she late?
Or was it a letter she sent?
Is it the boy who makes her wait?
wait for every day that her energy fades away
certainly, it wasn’t the cold weather
because her face would brighten up as soon as she saw the first snowflake
I feel like her name is Heather
surely it wasn’t Blake
She was creative, and I'm sure of it
due to the overload of sketchbooks and pencils that were jammed inside of her purse
they were losing their color like how the fresh leaves abandon us with some remorse
I bet she's a writer too
because as she wrote, she would stop for a moment and glance outside for something new
At times I wish I could be courageous enough to say hey
but every time I do, I panic and forget what to say
she was the girl in the coffee shop
and I was the boy who wished to have the ***** to introduce myself before I stopped
cuz maybe, somehow she could have lived for another day
possibly Jan 2018
My bookshelves still remember you.
They are full of sketchbooks that forgot you broke my heart.
They wear your name proudly across pages trying to capture your smile between its covers.
I don't have the heart to tell them.

I don't want to tell them that those eyes can't tell what I'm thinking without saying a word.
That those hands can't guide me through forests and cities, through anxiety and depression.
That those arms are not home.
That I cannot hear his laugh with those lips.

And until your smile is no longer synonymous with the first letter of "lost" and the first three of "over",
your name will be the only word in my vocabulary
because I don't need anything else.

If only I could draw on a smile,
maybe my sketchbooks would think
I'm happy now too.
I'm hopeless
Beaux Sep 2014
Doodles, doodles
Cover my page
Unicorns with wings
Trolls riding lizards
My pencil flies
Its swoops
It leaps
Doodles, doodles
Fill my notebook
Notes forgotten long ago
A kingdom was build
Filled with monsters and magic
Where strange creatures lurk
My pencil twirls
It loops and scoops
Doodles, doodles
Everywhere they are
They've covered every page
Covers front and back
Few venture to the desk
They slide to the side
Casting spells that make a test easier
They are soon relinquished
By teacher's glares and detention threats
My pencil dances with ease
It pirouettes, it twirls, it sticks the landing
Doodles, doodles
They're no longer doodles
But life, inventions, and lands beyond seas
They rumbles around and soar in the sky
They fill my sketchbooks
They fill my brain
They run and they play
They talk and they laugh
They're no longer doodles
But the beginning of an artist
milk Nov 2023
Suddenly I am but an artifact
My bones are brittle, they crumble back to earth with the slightest breeze
Where there was once flesh is now non-existent
The heart that urgently pumped blood, the veins and arteries that carried it, the lungs that drew desperate breaths, the brain that ordered them to do so; all gone
Let my room become a museum of the only joys that never left me
Every corner of my room filled with something that temporarily filled my heart
The rocks, dried plants, mass printed fortune cookie fortunes, cat whiskers, miniature clothes pins, small pieces of pretty string and little baggies, things given and things found, the empty lighters, the scraps of paper I deemed pretty enough to keep, the unfinished sketchbooks and old paint brushes, the books that broke my heart and the ones that helped it heal, the collage of pictures of my childhood where all our eyes looked so empty, the vinyl records, the small old stuffed animals, the few objects from my infancy, the knives that cut my wrists and legs
Let all these things fill the silence or emptiness that I may have left
Cling to them like I did, find comfort in their stationary presence
or is it better to let it be another closed door, another empty room
Where you swear if you're quiet enough, you can hear my laughter and faint emo music
A room where my cats wander in circles crying out for me, wondering when I'll come home
Make a home within the ache like I did
Let the pill bottles tell the story of me slowly wasting away
patti Jun 2012
sometimes I wonder
like a clock-worker, twitching gears and springs
why we are programmed to fight for each other's survival

I watched my sister wrinkle;
crumple in place over problems for which she
lived and for which she cried
for those she could never stitch back whole.

what is it
when self-programming is charted and mapped,
through simple fixes like plants and a weekend spent painting
empty gridded sketchbooks and hand-picked
letter combinations,
that makes us turn to those who fall apart in our laps over the inability to place
into the proper places their springs and gears

I'd like to spend summer making you look at the sky and realize it's blue because
you woke up this morning and noticed it
but maybe I will stay here protecting
my plants and my paintings from uncertain puzzles,
wrinkling puzzles and springs
Kay Nov 2014
I've made you into pretty words.

Scrap metal.

Crumpled pages.

Ink Spilled.

You made me brilliant.

Permanent.

I suppose I made you permanent, too, but you never saw it that way.

Never looked at your own etchings and called them beautiful the way I did for you.

Your permanence was always in scars on my skin.

Graphite Queen Anne's Lace drawn in my sketchbooks.

My permanence was always poetry with you.

Lovely musings for hours about an afternoon alone.

You made the sunsets sound even nicer after they were gone.

You can't put poetry on a chain,

Shackled.

I ran too far from you to ever be held down.

But here you are

Scrap Metal

Hanging from my neck.
My manipulative ex saw my new address on Facebook and sent me a bunch of coins we flattened on a railroad track together. I'm a *******, apparently, because I turned one into a necklace and have been wearing it all week.
Angie S May 2016
i’m always Howling for more out of life. (these secret thoughts
never leave the ends of my lips but now flow from the
end of my pencil so smoothly)
i’m Howling for more time in the day because i can’t
grasp enough of it to satisfy the blank pages in my journals
and my sketchbooks and my sheet music but i must always accommodate
for my shortcomings in math class
i’m Howling for a wink of sleep and i worry sometimes
that my thoughts are as jumbled up in my writing as in my mind
because i deny them rest
i’m Howling for love seriously all kinds of it
unfiltered and clumsy first date love
or subtle and persistent friendship
or the comfort of a tightly-knit family i'm serious
i’m Howling for something real
you see all my days have begun to smear into indistinguishable hues
all the beautiful flowers bloom the same and wilt the same
there’s nothing different; i’m Howling for a change of pace.
something exciting, something peaceful.
something relaxing, something enthralling.
something normal and spontaneous, confined by
nobody and always Howling for more
i wrote this piece for my creative writing class back in March and revised it for my final portfolio... and i really like it actually. it's different
sofia ortiz Jan 2013
It started at the end
when she walked away
Purple paint on his fingertips
His pockets full of clay

He's an artist
He thinks in strokes
She's a lover
She speaks in giggles and jokes

The sketchbooks form a pile
He's drunken all the wine
His hands are steady without hers holding them
He remembers how to draw in a straight line

If art comes from suffering
he's reached his prime
And since she's left him
He takes his time

The galleries are filled with her portraits
He memorized the contours of her face
Every sketch is an echo of her features
that he can't bring himself to erase
The paint is his tears and so he cries

It started two years in
At first they were just hints
The colors kept getting darker
Black was mixed with every tint

The slow distortion
The quiet craze
In the end she knew
this was no phase

For a while she ignored it
"I know we'll be alright"
People talked, she heard the whispers
In the end, she couldn't fight

It grew apparent
She was his muse
But he was rope soaked in kerosene
She saw the fuse

In the night she packed her bags
And stole a pen to prove her claim
While he worked inside his study
she disappeared into the rain
In the din of the storm she freely cried
a song i wrote about no one in particular
Ella Byrne Apr 2016
Long bus rides
Cold, dark nights
Pinpricks of orange lights
I am content
I don't know why
November calls my name
Maybe because it reminds me
Of pleasant hacks
Racing against daylight
Frozen toes
Or maybe it's
Twinkly Christmas lights
The promise of good times to come
Laughter to be had
Love to be shared
Or maybe it's
Old sketchbooks filled with doodles
Books taking me away
Music filling my lungs
Being at peace
Maybe it's
Your lips sealing my fate
A simple question, magic since
Three years later
You've still got a spell on me
You're still my anchor to the world.
Written in November 2015.
Orion Jul 2019
Honey in its natural state is a preservative.

I walk into the room and I see
A honey-filled jar that sits upon a shelf, bathed in spring sunlight.
A deep golden-hued shadow cast across the room
Washing over me as I approach and
I kneel and press my palms into the cold tiled floor and

I begin to pray.


“Did you know they placed your relic upon a baker’s rack
In a kitchen just small enough to house its appliances?
They ask you to bless things that you don’t have domain over.

Little do they know that I pray to you
To become too present in my own body--
Blood rushing is something loud when you’re attuned to it--
A love letter to life and the drainage of it
And the discomfort of realizing my tongue is too big for my mouth

Praise feels like the haloed light in this room:
The smell of a cream sauce seasoned to perfection
Offerings of homemade food and drink,
Dried sunflowers,
The last bit of ink in a well-used pen with the end chewed on,
Notebooks and sketchbooks filled to the brim with coded doodles whispering ****** secrets in tongues familiar only to you, and
Annotated horror books upon the shelf

I remember the day I found your body.
I remember draining your blood into a bucket.
I remember removing your head from your neck.
With a handsaw I found in my grandfather’s shed.
He still doesn’t know it’s missing.

I bought honey from the woman who sells it
Out of her home down the street from the elementary school
And I poured it into the largest jar I could find.

I carefully pushed your hair to be perfectly curled in the way that you liked it
And your eyes are closed, I made sure of that
Because when they stared back at me,
I stared back for as long as I could trying to find some meaning in it all.


And now the light catches the bubbles
Still slowly floating up from the largest sunflower I could find
A bed for which I rested your chin upon
Before delicately pouring in the honey on that day.
I kissed your forehead before adding the last jar.

Have you ever stared down at the ground and wondered
If someone--
Anyone--
Could hear the pleas crying for help and forgiveness?

I pray now for forgiveness, sweet saint.
I pray now for forgiveness for stealing a kiss and
Placing you here and
Pressing my hands to the last thing you have on this earth.

Forgive me.”
II.
the boy at the coffee shop
is, in fact, a barista

he whiles away his time
at odds with metal monoliths
coaxing honeyed shots of espresso
from the scalding machines
and honing his delicate craft

his language is one of
valves, gaskets, filters
copper boilers and pressure

his artistry
in the turning of steam knobs
folding froth into rich milk
the pulling of levers
the milling of fragrant beans
the pouring of flowers

he learnt his calling
when he first sipped that
viscous indian coffee
cut with bitter chicory
softened with caramelized cream
and dark brown sugar

this is what he understood, coffee:
input/output, give/take
ratios and recipes
detailed tasting notes
he spoke to the machines
and they answered eagerly

and the barista thought the world
to work the same way...
till he saw the girl at the coffee shop

questions glimmered in her eyes
and sweet mocha laced her lips
she was nothing like his machines
all hopeful uncertainty and "what next?"

she wears her hair in braided crowns
concealing her mica-freckled skin
behind oversized cable-knit sweaters
scribbling in sketchbooks for hours
she too, honing her craft

he is a
chipped porcelain cup
gilded with gold
letting others sip their fill
till the cup is empty
and nothing remains

someday he will
go up and talk
to the girl
at the coffee shop
but for now
he is just
a stranger
longing from afar

forever people watching
and forever watched by people

-wren
for context, au stands for alternative universe: a coffeeshop au is a trope where the barista and a customer fall in love.

thank you to jules for the collab :)
e Jul 2014
"One wild and precious life", he says as he shows me the skull he had impulsively tattooed on his ******* as a symbol that things should not be taken for granted. I’ll sit with him in a diner as he sips his weak lemon tea and talk about the reasons stars twinkle up in the sky. Some made-up story I’ll likely believe about constellations and moonbeams and how nothing is what it seems. And when it’s late, he’ll call me and tell me he needs to share something cool he just read. I’ll wonder if he ever sleeps as I doze off listening to him drone on and on and on about poetry, social revolutions, communism and the art of keeping sketchbooks. And in the morning I wake to a phone under my pillow hoping I didn’t embarrass myself by saying something I shouldn’t have. I’ll bump into him in the library reading some tattered old manuscript and he won’t mention anything about last night. He’ll just look up at me for a brief moment, smile because I did say something embarrassing then quickly bury his face back into his book. Red faced I’ll sit beside him and slap him on the arm as we burst into fits of uncontrolled laughter, hidden between rows of books.
margo Aug 2018
art isn’t dead, but are you?

we express ourselves through our clothes and shoes

in today’s society Davinci’s paintings aren’t cool

5,000 years ago and the artist is dead

aesthetics and drugs stuck in our head

Van Gogh painted the stars and the blue in the sky

he also cut his ear off and despised his life

teens are committing suicide and slitting their wrist

the blood is spewing out and they are taking pics

posting on social media because self harm is cool

when really you’re just being a tad bit cruel

splitting our veins to become an aesthetic

these kid are not art, these kids are pathetic

how dare you expect me to be empathetic

the red blood falls on the floor

we don’t have  anymore razors so grab your paintbrushes and draw some more


too much blood comes out and you don’t know what to do

paint palettes and sketchbooks still have some use

art is not dead,

but are you?
allissa robbins Aug 2014
Bad noise circling the charcoal

Around your thickly lashed eyes

Your desk is as cluttered as

Your head

Graphite scars lining your wrists

Empty sketchbooks waiting

For their own life stories

For the wind's influence to sweep

Lovely things across their pages

You say you're an artist,

But you hurt entirely too much

For your watercolor heart to not be

Don't worry about the past,
They throw their speech at you

But you worry more about the future

And how "art students don't make enough money"

Or

"You'll never amount to anything doing that"

And those thoughts are what



Positively kills you
Kay-Rosa Apr 2019
Back
Long before i found my truth
i was hiding.
And i hid well.
Behind walls of pronouns
and long sleeves to cover.
Behind book covers and
blank sketchbooks.
i was fading
Then i found something.
i found poetry.
i would write pages
and pages
of impermanent pen.
Angry lines removed beautiful
TRUE
cries of attraction and attention
i bled words and cried ink.
To be honest,
"She"
my muse, my love, my angel
became
"Him"
****** and painful.
Now i have light.
F**k you homophobes,
Those who made me uncomfortable in my own skin.
I come out
STRONG
And i love her and
She loves me.
Sorry for the language, this was from really deep down. -KRosa
yann Feb 2021
Sometimes i wonder if i exist in someone else's sketchbooks,
a tiny drawing of me living.
My life captured by learning hands

I think about the pictures people hold on their phones or albums,
The ones i didn't realize existed but still have a little moment of who i am

How many spaces have i filled that i simply didn't know about ?
I want to count them all and know, see how much i breathe in others' eyes But

I'm okay with me
I exist for me
I don't need that kind of comfort except for curiosity.
Angela Mary Pope Jun 2018
The tides are high and there is fear in their eyes,
the eyes of the ocean,
the eyes of the creatures down deep in the sea.

The hunt is real, they search deeper,
taking their whims and their fancies and their instinctual projections and finding themselves in their safest place.

The buildings that design the obsequious cityscape are filling with water. The groveling air towers over, like a filmy smoke of misused thoughts, and moments people want but lose.

The roofs are calling the names of crowds and everything is the same color.

The color of fear; mis-colored schools of thought, a murky brownish swim of trepidation and drowned almost brilliance.

She waits a while, leaving her misery and love and dirt and meaningfulness to turn into what it wants.

Her feet are one with her mind, a waterlogged caption held captive on a steamboat headed toward the end of the world.

The water is purest at the end of the world.

The way to move is no longer open form, pick a card and get a boat if she’s lucky.

Masses gather on the tops of buildings, Freedom a word synonymous to safety.

**** a boat this kid's gonna swim.

Paper boats and carrier pigeons prove the back and forth of things.

Overnight everything becomes as clear as the rising ocean.
The escapism from daily trivialities is now arbitrary as there is nowhere left to escape to.

People gather around doors, a vague hope that one might open in a way that is beyond itself.

Everyone glistens with wetness, water pouring from the sky, coming up from a place too deep to rightfully understand.

The mouths of fish are left to their own devices as one door opens.
A lonesome unlocked door holds a building of more buildings.

Facilities meant for easy death, built into one another like memories that play off of a fake idea of what the past means.  

Steel doors of fiery incinerators, reaching out for a hold on life. Immediate death the most vital thing any one of them can do.

She gathers. Thoughts, hope, love, sentimental objects. A sketchbook, a book of sketchbooks, a stick of incense, a cat, a longing.

She comes to a place of peace with the idea of steel-wrought incineration.

Meditation, endurance, strength. A step inside the narrow steel room, painted with the blood of the ancients, the loss of a civilization, She loses herself.

Within the nothingness that is death, comes a realization of the realization of nothingness at all.

This realization of nothingness transforms into darkness. A stumbling around. She wanders and wonders a while.

When she comes to, she recognizes a second consciousness.  

Herself.

Her consciousness seeps into the mind of an alternate version of herself.

Slowly, she fades.
Slowly, she morphs into herself again.

— The End —