How does it feel?
To have feelings strong as oak.

I cried raindrops of empathy,
You used my water to keep your strength.

How does it feel?
To have vision as clear as fog.

I worked effortlessly to fight your fears,
And you repaid me by holding someone new.

How does it feel?
To shatter my heart completely.

I'm a daffodil of multiple heads,
Yet you ripped my petals off vigorously.

Now, how does it feel?
To build my hopes up everyday.

To destroy my walls mercilessly,
For me to regret being this way.

Fiction helps keep a lot of us sane,
Making up stories almost day-to-day.
Though fiction seems rational,
reality is off the rails,
Absolute madness everyday.

Picture frames in a home are lucky,
When this is all temporary for us.
We are comfortable and happy,
But they'll take - It's a 'must'.

Overanalyze my medical history,
As you let me down for years.
I've screamed for help forever,
You just silenced the child beneath this.

I fall in love with victim's of war,
Becoming comfortable is temporary.
As others experience hellscapes the same,
You show little care for anybody.

Sick to the core, coughing my lungs,
I want to sing and be free but it isn't enough.
One day I'll succumb and what do I get?
Nothing. But I deserved,
Better than this.

You were drawing pictures with me,
I was sipping beer and see,
You downing another shot of whiskey.

I said I liked your rugged style,
I think saying that made you smile,
Because I compared it to an album in the 90s.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about life and death,
I confront the words you said,
You blame liquor and talk,
but I didn't believe you.

I said I know crave your touch,
But you mean something a lot,
Something I envy.

I asked "What's got you down?"
Wondering why you're hurting now,
You simply tell me then,
You fear you'll never reach the end.

I said it's the journey not the goal,
I've met my goals before,
I know I crave the journey more,
My heart pounding in my chest.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about being replaced,
I feared you leaving everyday but,
You began to say,
"Everyone literally could replace me."

I've never met anyone like you,
Your charming demeanor came through,
You mean everything to me,
It's a promise that I keep.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition...

That I love you.

I clearly love you.

I thought I would,
Fall,
For the idea of us.

But as I get to know you,
I know it's clear as day,
This sense of sweet ambition is here to stay.