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"roils" poems
I commit myself to the homicide of my thought-flowers. I indulge in the **** - Killing my darlings for the sake of art and sanity. What a paradox. I have bloodied my hands with it even so. No more love-lite poetry! No more adolescent chinks of the pseudo-heart! No more infantile fork-stabs at the plate of kid-intellectualism! No more Wikipedia pages on thoughts that can swallow computers whole! I'm killing my darlings for the sake of art, for the sake of sanity - what a paradox. Blood is flowing. I'm a murderer of ideas tonight - today I will write about many of life's very few truths. Like trees. Like soil. These are the only constants in mathematics. These are the identities. In my garden, I reach out to crush an almost-crimson hibiscus. Petals squelching with skin and nectar - no perfume. The hibiscus roils, unliving. Red pulpy mess; heart out of chest.
0
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 5:09 PM UTC
Red Hibiscus
When he comes home, I go into panic mode, The walls in my brain closing in, The bile in my throat rising, My teeth sweating in anticipation of what is to come When he comes home, I hope to god that I pass beneath the radar, Nothing more than a sigh on the breeze, Nothing more than a ripple in a pond Nothing for him to notice When he comes home, I make myself as small as I can, Hoping that he’ll ignore me like he has all these years, But knowing that it’s a futile attempt, Like trying to avoid the burning sun When he comes home, The nausea roils in my gut, Reminding me that I am nothing, That I will never be anything more than what he paints me to be When he comes home, I am reduced to “yes sir” and “no sir,” To eyes that are glued to the ceiling or floors, To fidgeting hands and twisting fingers To nothing more than a decoration to stand in the corner When he comes home, I try to retreat to my room, I try to give him the space that he seems to need, I try to leave him be and let him sleep, But nothing seems to work, and he yells all the same When he comes home, My home becomes nothing more than a battlefield, One that I cannot escape, One that there is no running from, One from which the injuries are only seen in the trauma that is left behind When he comes home, My life becomes nothing more than a play, A tragedy in which no one survives, A performance that I am supposed to know, But stage fright has taken over and the lines mean nothing to me now And I am frozen, hoping for the curtains to fall to cover my fear When he comes home, I quietly Exit Stage left.
0
Jun 17, 2023
Jun 17, 2023 at 9:15 PM UTC
When He Comes Home
When he comes home, I go into panic mode, The walls in my brain closing in, The bile in my throat rising, My teeth sweating in anticipation of what is to come When he comes home, I hope to god that I pass beneath the radar, Nothing more than a sigh on the breeze, Nothing more than a ripple in a pond Nothing for him to notice When he comes home, I make myself as small as I can, Hoping that he’ll ignore me like he has all these years, But knowing that it’s a futile attempt, Like trying to avoid the burning sun When he comes home, The nausea roils in my gut, Reminding me that I am nothing, That I will never be anything more than what he paints me to be When he comes home, I am reduced to “yes sir” and “no sir,” To eyes that are glued to the ceiling or floors, To fidgeting hands and twisting fingers To nothing more than a decoration to stand in the corner When he comes home, I try to retreat to my room, I try to give him the space that he seems to need, I try to leave him be and let him sleep, But nothing seems to work, and he yells all the same When he comes home, My home becomes nothing more than a battlefield, One that I cannot escape, One that there is no running from, One from which the injuries are only seen in the trauma that is left behind When he comes home, My life becomes nothing more than a play, A tragedy in which no one survives, A performance that I am supposed to know, But stage fright has taken over and the lines mean nothing to me now And I am frozen, hoping for the curtains to fall to cover my fear When he comes home, I quietly Exit Stage left.
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42
Why do poets and photographers love fleeting things? Angled shafts of sunlight piercing a mass of clouds. A rainbow flashing from dragonfly wings. Water drops beading like shards of glass. The fluttering shape of a sycamore’s shade. The sun sinking into its reflection In a purple bay.  Smoke’s shadow. The rayed Curve of a finger reaching for perfection. Whatever churns, bursts, rocks, flies, Foams, flickers, roils, evades In pigments of impermanent dyes We try to fix before it fades Once I mourned the endless dying   Of here and now, the present always past Elegized each moment, sighing Beauty is loss and can never last. But now I think I had it wrong.  In fact (I learned this from an artist’s eye) Fleeting beauty reappears faster than we react, At the speed of a daydream flashing by. All around, light coalesces into form, Form explodes into light, And we live lavishly inside this storm If we can learn to see it right. Beauty multiplies, tapering, swelling: Reshaping, reforming, now familiar, now strange. This gaudy blur in which we’re dwelling Is the permanence of change.
0
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 8:32 AM UTC
Fleeting Things
In the middle of weekends of drunkenness I cry over what I see. I cry over the man I gave a marlboro too, as he bumbled and shook to get it too his mouth, I leaned in and gave him a cover for his light. I cry over the deaths and vigils in the projects, cry over the fact that there are men who have been killed over menial **** I cry over my mother and grandmother, because my love tools away in the darkness of my soul and I am not useful. I cry because I have not seen my best friend in years, and I will perhaps never see him again, even when we kept neighborhood ****** away, back to back swinging at the world just to keep our heads clean. I cry over love. I cry because there is something warm inside me, as warm as this gin. So keep me in your prayers I am a man crying, because it roils inside of me, because I can't keep my emotions in check, and don't want to. I was raised around a strong woman with even stronger emotions that could be felt like velvet and pebbles, and she taught me how to be a man and not lose my heart.
0
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012 at 7:39 PM UTC
My attitude.
He knows what lies below. This is where it all began: here Beneath the bubbling sludge and ******* mud. This is the home brew, the cocooning grounds. His sturdy boots trudge through, Hefting questions and glasses askew. Somewhere to the side a fat swamp prince Composes bog rhymes in ribbit meter. Each squelching step sets a buzzing bunch Of crystal dragons zipping away to Slick peridot pontoons. A loon swoons The expeditioner with a sobbing cry. He Has said goodbye to reservations, to the Long-dead preservation rights. He slogs through The buzzing night. Yellow daggers clench Between scaly steeltrap snappers and stones With eyes blink in languid surprise, unnoticed. He is lost, dying, unsure of his quest. He needs a Cure. He knows it lies here, in the beginning place. Their faces haunt his deathly guts and crush His straining heart with need - need for the solution. Need to survive, to prolong his life - alone! So alone: the last. If only he could rest. His nostrils quiver with the homesick stench Of tails becoming legs and nipping lips sprouting Sticky tongues. The answer, he is here for the Only answer. Something below, below, down In the dredges of history - in the slime of Centuries, rotless and preserved. He will find it: Some link, some closer thing he can revive And test and rest as bedrock for his life. A foot sticks in the overfriendly tar. No, He will not pause. He has come too far. In the birthing grime, some hungry memory wakes. It knows what lies above, it thirsts to cease it. It reaches, roils, pulls, rips with smelly squish-fingers - Thirsting and thirsting to slake. It longs to reveal To show, to make known to the traveler. (All he has searched for is found here, it knows, Organized and close. Held and safe below) It reaches, grabs - thirsty - presses him into A false step. A slip. A skritching clipboard Of statistics curses in rustling indignance As it flutters to the mud above a splattered head. Science-frozen lungs fill with dread - With life-giving peat. (It will show him) He ***** in And burbles out a scream. (what he wants, show him) This is where it begins, (this is his dream!) where it ends. Now he knows what lies below. He lies - curled - Quenched from growth. The eyes of unnoticed Stones blink in surprise. Soaring swamp lyrics Rise, a loon swoons with a sobbing cry. He curls in peace and drifts alone Now he knows what lies below.
0
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 30, 2010 at 7:10 PM UTC
In Peridot Above
He knows what lies below. This is where it all began: here Beneath the bubbling sludge and ******* mud. This is the home brew, the cocooning grounds. His sturdy boots trudge through, Hefting questions and glasses askew. Somewhere to the side a fat swamp prince Composes bog rhymes in ribbit meter. Each squelching step sets a buzzing bunch Of crystal dragons zipping away to Slick peridot pontoons. A loon swoons The expeditioner with a sobbing cry. He Has said goodbye to reservations, to the Long-dead preservation rights. He slogs through The buzzing night. Yellow daggers clench Between scaly steeltrap snappers and stones With eyes blink in languid surprise, unnoticed. He is lost, dying, unsure of his quest. He needs a Cure. He knows it lies here, in the beginning place. Their faces haunt his deathly guts and crush His straining heart with need - need for the solution. Need to survive, to prolong his life - alone! So alone: the last. If only he could rest. His nostrils quiver with the homesick stench Of tails becoming legs and nipping lips sprouting Sticky tongues. The answer, he is here for the Only answer. Something below, below, down In the dredges of history - in the slime of Centuries, rotless and preserved. He will find it: Some link, some closer thing he can revive And test and rest as bedrock for his life. A foot sticks in the overfriendly tar. No, He will not pause. He has come too far. In the birthing grime, some hungry memory wakes. It knows what lies above, it thirsts to cease it. It reaches, roils, pulls, rips with smelly squish-fingers - Thirsting and thirsting to slake. It longs to reveal To show, to make known to the traveler. (All he has searched for is found here, it knows, Organized and close. Held and safe below) It reaches, grabs - thirsty - presses him into A false step. A slip. A skritching clipboard Of statistics curses in rustling indignance As it flutters to the mud above a splattered head. Science-frozen lungs fill with dread - With life-giving peat. (It will show him) He ***** in And burbles out a scream. (what he wants, show him) This is where it begins, (this is his dream!) where it ends. Now he knows what lies below. He lies - curled - Quenched from growth. The eyes of unnoticed Stones blink in surprise. Soaring swamp lyrics Rise, a loon swoons with a sobbing cry. He curls in peace and drifts alone Now he knows what lies below.
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54
Thunder roils the sky— Under Olympus, bolts hail, Angry cries of Zeus.
0
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012 at 12:35 AM UTC
Haiku (maddening)
read it in the leaves of grass withering as the time goes marching past we've sung of ourselves, total selves, man and woman one, *********** plumes of white cloudy dreams into the holy skies, total consummation, writhing pleasure lips, part smile, part begging, total self-adulation but, the grass withers my old friend those fields, tepid pools of oil our skies, churning ebbs of burning progress a civil war roils, just beyond our yard remnants of it tumbling within the square boxes we worship for their divertive power no longer brothers and fathers north and south, pounding powder death but, mothers killing mothers, fathers murdering their unborn sons and daughters a generation of human flesh eats the soil of the earth, drinks the blood of its rivers, plunges its arms deep within the arteries of the land pulling forth trinkets and black milk to feed our steel cattle to ***** towering mirrors of our false power and prestige and progress and prowess of mind and prudence of judgment no, no, no! lies of a blathering ***** unhinged, we scream at our total selves, man and woman one, this is not the song i intended to sing
0
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 9:07 AM UTC
Pleasure
So many words between us— The caustic breech of abatement, ruin Runs atonal, in recitals of indifference, How even the ****** birds now sound Discordant and rain crushes as it falls, Ballistic. The pinprick stars are merely eyes Undraped to the worn soul's veil And gorgon time roils setting our feet In the crust of wishes and delusions Kept. The bullet riddled skies in absence Of colour are but particulates of lime To the moonless night. Words have no Eyes, they can only finger. O the sorrows of the untouched— The cruelty of the sightless and bent blind, Drab vermillion stars felled like forced tears.
0
Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
Smoke
there’s a deep, visceral anger that I seem to feel everyday that no one ever talks about. i wake up and my stomach roils with fury, wild and burning. i eat breakfast and watch as my hand grips the mug, wishing I could shatter it against the floor. conversation hurts with the acid I want to spit at my mother. i watch action movies and ride roller coasters and go to haunted mazes and every scream I’m allowed feels like the briefest, most beautiful respite. i look out at crowds of people and it feels like I’m breathing concrete. i sit in my car and scream and cry and scream because it’s the only place I’m really alone and the guy in front of me stares through his rearview mirror. i say that I’m tired but I really mean angry but I don’t know how to say angry so I just say tired and everyone is getting really tired of me being tired. i remember when the anger was so big and I was so small and I only knew how to close the hatch of my mouth to keep it all inside because one time I let it out and then everyone knew about the anger and I came to the sudden terrifying realization that the anger wasn’t supposed to be evoked. i am so angry and I thought everyone else was too and we were all in on some joke where we’re constantly hiding fury behind our eyes. but I think, recently, I’ve realized that this deep, hot, painful, crippling, paralyzing anger isn’t entirely normal. that not everyone wants to scream at their loved ones one moment and then stick a knife in their head the next. instead the joke is on me, like I missed orientation and everyone seems to run like clockwork and I’m an angry little gear that’s rusted and out of place. everything is so practiced and planned and poised and perfect and I just want to sink my teeth into it and rip it all to shreds, screaming and baring my throat to the sky, daring god to face me and bear witness to my unholy wrath as the blood of his creation runs down my neck. anger grips me like a vice and lives in my stomach and I just want to have a conversation where I’m not trying to not throw the bottle in my hand.
0
Sep 6, 2022
Sep 6, 2022 at 3:06 AM UTC
rip it to shreds
there’s a deep, visceral anger that I seem to feel everyday that no one ever talks about. i wake up and my stomach roils with fury, wild and burning. i eat breakfast and watch as my hand grips the mug, wishing I could shatter it against the floor. conversation hurts with the acid I want to spit at my mother. i watch action movies and ride roller coasters and go to haunted mazes and every scream I’m allowed feels like the briefest, most beautiful respite. i look out at crowds of people and it feels like I’m breathing concrete. i sit in my car and scream and cry and scream because it’s the only place I’m really alone and the guy in front of me stares through his rearview mirror. i say that I’m tired but I really mean angry but I don’t know how to say angry so I just say tired and everyone is getting really tired of me being tired. i remember when the anger was so big and I was so small and I only knew how to close the hatch of my mouth to keep it all inside because one time I let it out and then everyone knew about the anger and I came to the sudden terrifying realization that the anger wasn’t supposed to be evoked. i am so angry and I thought everyone else was too and we were all in on some joke where we’re constantly hiding fury behind our eyes. but I think, recently, I’ve realized that this deep, hot, painful, crippling, paralyzing anger isn’t entirely normal. that not everyone wants to scream at their loved ones one moment and then stick a knife in their head the next. instead the joke is on me, like I missed orientation and everyone seems to run like clockwork and I’m an angry little gear that’s rusted and out of place. everything is so practiced and planned and poised and perfect and I just want to sink my teeth into it and rip it all to shreds, screaming and baring my throat to the sky, daring god to face me and bear witness to my unholy wrath as the blood of his creation runs down my neck. anger grips me like a vice and lives in my stomach and I just want to have a conversation where I’m not trying to not throw the bottle in my hand.
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16
the pyre of my soul incinerates my interior as I watch our flames burn relentlessly from my lips like the words that removed love from around my heart who would have believed your whispers would burn like the sun; singeing my entirety with venomous blisters flung with displeasure bafflement sears... there's no more emotions, forgiveness is shamefaced a misdirection of affections your misunderstanding leaves me naked in this moment, heated in affront this second fore, nothing matters anymore inner abashed turmoil... roils like a cauldron upon a campfire, its embered particles I breathe and ingest for naught in whimpering gasps wanting to desecrate that smirk rising upon your handsome features; a look I once found to be endearing once in awhile that you took away, too... your total disdain; dousing our flame of eternal love of all that beheld us in God's light; which, now leaves me awash in bile, dazed, open-mouth stares from dimming eyes is all that looks upon my beauty with such pain; makes me want to scream, take me want me, love me as once before re-ignite our flame... those thoughtful embers are undirected words drenched upon an uncaring mind, directing my soul and heart towards the moon and the burn of stars that light up the sky of my heart and mind as if I could have altered the course of your bitterness, until I can no longer sigh in want of your love thoughts of me gone asunder... filling my lungs with silent animosity towards all that you stand for, my only want now is for you to stay away from me, allowing me to live in solitude inside the hunger that pours like stinging tears from my eyes, let me be without changing the sound of love still singing within my heart
0
Jun 12, 2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 3:22 AM UTC
Burnt Particles of Love
the pyre of my soul incinerates my interior as I watch our flames burn relentlessly from my lips like the words that removed love from around my heart who would have believed your whispers would burn like the sun; singeing my entirety with venomous blisters flung with displeasure bafflement sears... there's no more emotions, forgiveness is shamefaced a misdirection of affections your misunderstanding leaves me naked in this moment, heated in affront this second fore, nothing matters anymore inner abashed turmoil... roils like a cauldron upon a campfire, its embered particles I breathe and ingest for naught in whimpering gasps wanting to desecrate that smirk rising upon your handsome features; a look I once found to be endearing once in awhile that you took away, too... your total disdain; dousing our flame of eternal love of all that beheld us in God's light; which, now leaves me awash in bile, dazed, open-mouth stares from dimming eyes is all that looks upon my beauty with such pain; makes me want to scream, take me want me, love me as once before re-ignite our flame... those thoughtful embers are undirected words drenched upon an uncaring mind, directing my soul and heart towards the moon and the burn of stars that light up the sky of my heart and mind as if I could have altered the course of your bitterness, until I can no longer sigh in want of your love thoughts of me gone asunder... filling my lungs with silent animosity towards all that you stand for, my only want now is for you to stay away from me, allowing me to live in solitude inside the hunger that pours like stinging tears from my eyes, let me be without changing the sound of love still singing within my heart
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65
In the house of the unsaid Tears are glass beads that drop The ***** on the bone china Blood spittles the lips, hair Raises the dead the cut Rosary roils and dents Harmony’s rumour spouts In the sink. The clock’s twitching Strikes a mongoosed hour. And the scattered stations run The rude wood splinters As the unsaying are floored Clouded eyes pain the glass Outside the house, bare Trees are leaved with ravens.
0
Mar 2, 2013
Mar 2, 2013 at 4:26 PM UTC
House of the Unsaid
Thunder roils the sky— Under Olympus, bolts hail, Angry cries of Zeus.
0
Aug 24, 2013
Aug 24, 2013 at 10:05 PM UTC
Haiku (maddening)
In the house of the unsaid Tears are glass beads that drop The ***** on the bone china Blood spittles the lips, hair Raises the dead the cut Rosary roils and dents Harmony’s rumour spouts In the sink. The clock’s twitching Strikes a mongoosed hour. And the scattered stations run The rude wood splinters As the unsaying are floored Clouded eyes pain the glass Outside the house, bare Trees are leaved with ravens.
0
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 12:31 PM UTC
House of the Unsaid
calm the beautiful blue mornings, green calm growing pastures I meditate passionately viewing, white visions floating on until some afternoons, on a horizon unexpectantly, out of the prettiest cyan grows grey storms. Heat builds, rises rapidly condensing moisture,  particles charge, cyan dims to black; the world arises angrily. Me and the sun hide hidden, the dark horizon growls. Flashes, and thunder roils on awakening fears. When she calms down, I meekly peek again, see a peaceful cloud and cyan calmness. Summer calm   blue green. Red blonde clouds blowing free. Again.
0
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 7:08 PM UTC
calm summer blue green
Thunder roils the sky— Under Olympus, bolts hail, Angry cries of Zeus.
0
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 12:52 PM UTC
Haiku (maddening)
There is a sea in me It roils and boils And churns and swallows And breaks on the jagged teeth Of the coastline It crashes and comes With a force untold And lays waste to the dry land Sometimes it calms to a hush Only to rush my lungs with brine There is an anxious sea in me
0
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 7:59 AM UTC
There is a Sea in Me
In the house of the unsaid Tears are glass beads that drop The ***** on the bone china Blood spittles the lips, hair Raises the dead the cut Rosary roils and dents Harmony’s rumour spouts In the sink. The clock’s twitching Strikes a mongoosed hour. And the scattered stations run The rude wood splinters As the unsaying are floored Clouded eyes pain the glass Outside the house, bare Trees are leaved with ravens.
0
Jun 22, 2012
Jun 22, 2012 at 2:22 PM UTC
House of the Unsaid
I wonder what it is that sends us looking out to sea, amidst the pounding breakers and that blue transparency? There is a certain colour that roils up from deep below, and something's stirred within me too; from where? I do not know. From shore, I find that I am just as troubled in my mind. I cast my thoughts out to the waves I know, are far from kind. A sea within. A sea without. I am so lost at sea! My wildest thoughts search for a boat for both realities. With feelings tossed, I am confused and wait now for the tide, to put me back on solid ground, there is no place to hide. Where could I go, if going forth there only is the sea, and turning inward, I am lost, within the sea of me?
0
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 4, 2011 at 2:17 PM UTC
Out of the Blue
I am frightened like a child lost upon a day trip And angry, vengeant upon who I do not know O, but I am no calm saint of a man! For there is a surge and a storm in my gut It spins and roils, this queasy gyre Circling my hate and my love and all the anguish and fury of the seas! And my fingers they tremble with the potent rage of apocalypse wind! My arms pulse with sickening static by The lightning pounding through my veins And I wail and sway and groan As if I were casting a hex upon the entire world
0
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 6:41 PM UTC
Rising
Abstracted Painting . print in . black and white , as if , they paint , the page . hues of blues . or of . Langston Hughes . the page roils the spirits . to anger red . that fades . to shades . to purples and blues Avante-Garde, Hipster, Beat Poet Words and sound of Celebration Graphic Painting done by me Shamus.Media,Arts www,shamusmediarts.com © a month ago, SilverSilkenTongue
0
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 4:47 AM UTC
color in black and white...
You don't know What a genius I am Pontificating stuffed shirt At the head of the classroom With your precious red ink And credentialed soul Do you bleed as I do? Do you dream in words So painfully beautiful You marvel at belonging to them? You don't know Who I am or will be Call it egotism or delusion But behind this meek acceptance Of your measures and jibes My pride roils like lava For once, I will not speak my mind I must show you instead And show you, I shall
0
Feb 11, 2010
Feb 11, 2010 at 8:40 PM UTC
A Rant for Academia
In the house of the unsaid Tears are glass beads that drop The ***** on the bone china Blood spittles the lips, hair Raises the dead the cut Rosary roils and dents Harmony’s rumour spouts In the sink. The clock’s twitching Strikes a mongoosed hour. And the scattered stations run The rude wood splinters As the unsaying are floored Clouded eyes pain the glass Outside the house, bare Trees are leaved with ravens.
0
Oct 12, 2012
Oct 12, 2012 at 9:45 PM UTC
House of the Unsaid
. So many words between us— The caustic breech of abatement, ruin Runs atonal, in recitals of indifference, How even the ****** birds now sound Discordant and rain crushes as it falls, Ballistic. The pinprick stars are merely eyes Undraped to the worn soul's veil And gorgon time roils setting our feet In the crust of wishes and delusions Kept.   The bullet riddled skies in absence Of colour are but particulates of lime To the moonless night.  Words have no Eyes, they can only finger. O the sorrows of the untouched— The cruelty of the sightless and bent blind, Drab vermillion stars felled like forced tears. .
0
Jan 10, 2022
Jan 10, 2022 at 5:07 PM UTC
Smoke
grinning(green clad)devil satted silent in a sharp cafe waiting eternal in walks man sighing sadly sits across from greengrin devil forked tongue river roils implications "thou art the skin of weak ********** drips emerald "this i know, yet unable to face its truth, i find my i" ripples trite man in this way satting supping murky fluid sin gestates in celadonian lips
0
May 11, 2010
May 11, 2010 at 12:34 PM UTC
grinning(green clad)devil