"patronized" poems
( i )
I lucked out
on table 4 last night
window seat
baseboard heat
with intimate passages
from Ginsberg
in his purest
and most evident form
Cover-all Carl was draped
in his usual garb
(turning pages
of yesterday's news)
animating, culturing, bantering
on the fate of the
Greek barber
(in an accent of which
I'm not so sure)
His cronies
looked on
(with a twisted conviction)
countering
with their own tales
of ingovernance and woe
*did you know that Panasonic
lost 5 billion last quarter?*
The evening moved
in time lapse...
with painted winds,
streaming lights
and a host of
high school girls
running cold
Maleah passed
on her late shift
(checking the pile and trough),
patronized the boys
and called it a night
( ii )
The bald man
is back at it again
bickering at the till
(something about
a cold free coffee
or 99 cents
or the coloured guy
behind him who got it hot)
a kind Filipino
is trying to get it done
(at 8 bucks per)
losing her cool
and shedding a quiet tear
Wonder what the Purewals
or Haitians or Cossacks
would have to say
about this grim public reminder,
wonder what
this sad f*ck
will do tonight...
without his
bus pass
or sling sack
or broken Turkish stems
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 2:37 PM UTC
The Revolution will not be pay-per-view,
Streamed online, or listed in the TV Guide,
The Revolution will be LIVE ON AIR
Rush seating No reservations First to come are first to serve
The Revolution will not be monetarily politicized,
the Revolution will be patronized
Next, On the World Today Network: Revolution This Way Comes
The Revolution will not be a mutually exclusive for
CBC, BBC, CNN, YouTube, Facebook, SnapChat, or Instagram
The Revolution is more than digital trolling,
It will be a Counter-Electronic-Magnetic-Pulse
Do you have your passport for the Revolution?
The Revolution is unauthorized
Written for and by all the people
The Revolution is radical, hands-on, and requires assembly
Batteries are not included and there is no manufacturer’s warantee,
The Revolution will be uncomfortable for those living in leisure
For it has been bred to cause the Elite displeasure
Revolution 99% Uploaded
Press [ENTER] key to initiate collective action
~
NM 10/17/15
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC
Haters rapidly continue
Spreading hates and lies
While lovers smile
warmest hearts
kindest words
Love can never be patronized
Haters will one day
succumb to love.......
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 2:07 AM UTC
I hear the thunder meddling
its way among the raindrops
that permeate through sunlight
and realize
that the weather is a motif
for God's emotional prognosis.
God is but a ******
he and I stammer upon the same boat.
Our existence makes a pair
of helplessly hanging doppelgangers,
orbs of confusion that contract
whiplash with every turn they make.
Two repressed housewives
that put all their hopes and dreams
in a shit-stained smile.
This collision of light and malevolance
is but His way of symbolizing
my shame-patronized indecision
in a way that makes people tear up
at the joy of beauty.
Apr 29, 2010
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:50 AM UTC
Somedays I think of how I will wait until the skin drops from my bones
To tell myself that I am beautiful
She will be there at 5 foot 2 the smallest skyscraper ever
Gleaming shades of tan and amber
Defending the shape of her thighs and the queries of guys.
Disallowing herself to be patronized
I won't need you anymore
I will love myself, in fair or morose health
For when your hands shall leave my *******
I won't even feel the ghost of your caress
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 9:32 PM UTC
The kids chemically induced
Reduced to ego threnody.
Amidst chaos he possessed influence.
Would disregard coincidence
And curse at the omnipotent.
Known as lonely pessimist
Could laugh at their own ignorance.
Pops was drunk.
Waved goodbye
to any kind of innocence.
Patronized
Sympathized
Irrelevant
Sunk below the sediment.
If humans could be celibate
This death would have ended it
Instead of only him.
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012 at 10:01 AM UTC
The perfect woman
is beautiful, of course
but not too beautiful,
( enough to be objectify-able
but not so much as to be threatening)
The perfect woman
has a voice and a mind
( that she wisely decides
to leave behind)
The perfect woman
should never be heard
( unless she becomes
a part of the herd)
The perfect woman
Is benign and blind
( to everyone's faults
except her own,
which also, btw, she ought to make known,
or god forbid, she'll be harkened a *****
How rude.....)
The perfect woman
Is coy and shy
(changing her demeanor
for a girl or a guy)
The perfect woman
Does nothing wrong (yeah right)
(and still doesn't get
why she can't belong)
The perfect woman
Knows her salad forks and plates
She encourages, she nourishes
She creates,
(she waits, she waits , she waits)
The perfect woman
is an overachiever
(but readily labeled
to be a deceiver)
The perfect woman
doesn't age
doesn't dream or rebel
Oh no, dear no....
none of that outrage
The perfect woman
can be a nymph and a nun
(knows how to not show
that she knows what is fun)
The perfect woman,
is curvy but thin
each angle defined
each strand refined
with a dazzling smile
and a glowing skin
(no matter how she gets it
It's that she gets it, she gets it.)
The perfect woman
Is strong and composed
But when she's patronized
She doesn't resist...
She carries her grace
on her well turned calf
and a delicate wrist
Till it's proper and unopposed
The perfect woman
is cruel to her daughter
and kind to her son
( as she knows what it means
to be a woman
even if she forgets
that she's also one...)
The perfect woman
doesn't want to be free
you see, it's simple
She's come to terms with the very concept
That it's her destiny
Sigh.
Let's say this, let's try....
Here's the gist
The perfect woman
is either every woman
or she doesn't exist.
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 9:22 PM UTC
Sometimes I miss the holy grace of ignorance,
Sometimes I miss the comfort that I felt when I read about David and his caves,
About his moody eyes and his harp,
About his *** addiction and his jealous, musical heart that only a god could love,
About the way he loved with abandon, reckless, selfish, taken aback in naivety, balking at those who dared disagreed with his unwavering need to be as he was
David made me ***
David made me feel closer to God and my mother
David told me a story of lust and ****** and protection and angst and a sweet tortured easily patronized self
Maybe in all of this, one day this flawed, beautiful man who murdered a giant and sang to lambs
Would be me
A woman, self possessed, soothing sheep and culling sleep in her victims.
Passion dripping from her honey harp.
David, thank you for the awakening and for the saturated hedonism that you spoke to in me.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 5:10 PM UTC
Every day we see them,
passing by them without care.
It comes as quite a shock to some,
but trust me, they are there.
They come in shapes and sizes
just the same as you and me;
their colors range from black to white
and all the shades between.
They're just like us in all respects;
they've hopes and dreams and fears.
They've been with us through spans of time,
from young to old in years.
Some of you may notice them
but most go by unseen,
and lest they let their secret out
a person's all they'll be.
But should they step beyond the veil
they've hung to hide their truth,
it's rarely welcomed with embrace,
and often with dispute.
It's a shame to see how some
could treat a human being
merely for the way they are,
or even how they seem.
Patronized for their beliefs,
or preferences declared.
Victims born of senseless crimes
are left to reap despair.
Stop the violence. Stop the hate
before there's nothing left.
Your ignorance gives wake to see
them all to pointless death.
Intolerance gives wake to war,
of which we're on the brink.
Love them all for who they are,
and not for what you think.
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 6:46 PM UTC
a bowl of black beans / your mother sitting on the other side of the kitchen / this liquidation of self / you would be something / anything / anyone / if it could make you safe / the black beans taste like nothing now / you aren’t crying but you’re **** near it / your mother makes a honey sweet remark / won’t you stay alive / and / eat your beans then we’ll leave / and you don’t have an answer but you listen / you are pleading with the voices to let you eat the beans and make them taste less like bleach / your mother bleached your hair when you were fourteen and you bleached your skin at sixteen / you drank that same bleach from that same bottle three days after your sixteenth birthday/ but this is a bowl of beans and it tastes like that time / smells like that time / your throat coughing up blood and your body wretching to *****
a bowl of black beans / your mother takes that bowl and washes it out in the sink / you still have that hoarse voice from imagining it tastes like bleach / you still have that ***** wretch instinct because of how much your throat stings / then mother says; you’ll stay with them for some time / as if that makes anything better / a drive into the emptiness of a psychiatric hospital / a place they’d sent you when you were ten because you were so angry and so depressed / you break when the blue tiles turn to ocean and you drown / you break when the red tiles turn to fire and burn your toes / you are hungry again / but you know everything you eat will taste like bleach.
you can’t sleep because the bleach is still on your tongue / you think of that bowl of black beans / your mother sitting on the other side of the kitchen / maybe you’d see her smile again / maybe you’d be broken and be able to exist comfortably / don’t you want to survive to see that?
you answer / no / i’d rather die than be patronized.
May 26, 2017
May 26, 2017 at 2:34 PM UTC
My cat is alarming the daylight every single rotten day.
I wake up chocking from the un flickering dream,
Numb and kinda nervous, still watching the leftovers
Of characters fighting the path, back into reality.
All my nights since my life began revolving around my addictions
I patronized them, I begged them, I bribed them, what I did or what I not...
Exclusively the ordinary: buying flowers, candies,
Slot machines, **** videos, riding on elephants,
Cornering the cliffs, eating spiders, smoking ***
And beaming at the stars while they were changing music covers
Aside me, in slippers, house dresses and chewing cockies outta space,
Between a tooth and the next one located at five minutes array.
So you cannot call in my nature as a bee. Or not to bee.
All the **** that you can do or not in dreams, I did.
Results presumptuous. As all dreams are.
Vague ends fishing the tale of monster Colombre.
He's old and he's lounging in Poseidon's trident,
Into the space between the waves of gravity
Along with the pearl promised to every human being ,
As long as they are clapping hands for fairies not dying
And children's bed time stories that never lasts enough,
At every gasp they take when something murderous
Is happening while mothers turning into stone are reading,
The horrors of daily news at9 clock whisky .
For a first, they enter into the deem reality
My imaginary ghostlike friends. I waved them farewell, at last.
I don't wanna spend more time buying crickets or entertaining Terpsichore.
Now I'm busy writing songs about them, eating space cookies with a little prince and feasting on crickets with Maruska.
How did we get this far apart, we used to be so close together
How did we get this far apart, I thought this love would last forever.
Aug 13, 2013
Aug 13, 2013 at 4:21 AM UTC
We continuously make a fool of ourselves, unconsciously for the enjoyment of others, not lacking the self esteem self belief on the contrary we're encouraging individuals who slide through the ******** getting nicks an nacks ticks an tacks on our hearts an our backs slaps an pats patronized for our looks an our hooks the way dance or we cook we guide you through life like an open book but then treated like an unknown crook, but look I'm not shook I won't be that crook I slide through ******** getting nicks an nacks ticks and tacks on my heart an my back because I don't lack and I won't look back I'm way stronger then that.
D.J.Turner
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 1:39 PM UTC
I am in a desert town
Standing on the mountaintop
alone
Lonely growing up in a too-big house
seeing the world from behind the smeared glass of a
tour bus
while an automated voice drills in
objective truths
about culture
about what the Other's color of skin makes
them.
Being told to give money because God said so
Being told my daddy up in heaven loved me
whether he showed up or not
and I had to just
believe
and obey
Him.
I'd rather turn away
from that sunny desert sky, because it
burns
I'd rather jump off the bus
so I could stop feeling so ****
sick
and forget about what the color of my skin
makes me.
I'd rather not live to serve a god I don't
know
and never met
and a family who has never met me.
To be called a fellow person
rather than a tourist or
patron.
Because I know what it is to be patronized.
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 9:58 PM UTC
I want to be unapologetic
Yet, I continue to apologize
For every difference that they see
Increases the need to compromise
From what I wear to how I sleep
Or what is deemed a healthy size
From then on, I understood
That I lived only to be described
I apologize again for my differences
Next time, I will improve my disguise
For the sake of your own comfort
I will keep putting aside mine
I look up to their condescending stares
They will never be satisfied
I escape into my solitude
I am not something for you to define
I am tired of advocating for myself
Without the support of family ties
Finding more hate in my own growth
As though I live to be ostracized
My attempts to calm my abnormalities
In order to sooth those who penalize
To make room for all of their expectations
To create another profitable merchandise
They have taught me to pursue
A personality so idealized
While they heavily persuade me
To carve a body to sexualize
Only to be rewarded with a life
Where I am only patronized
Filled with the inequalities
That are completely normalized
I retreat into my inner world
The place where I fanaticize
Of a space where I can breathe
With the encouragement to try
I am not broken, just discouraged
Of those who antagonize
Minorities and their differences
Who then live demoralized
I don't want to be given a role
With a life script to memorize
Or submit myself to a narrative
That can easily be summarized
Do not confide me to a label
Just so you can stigmatized
Those labels are not my name
I deserved to be recognized
I do not wish to be put on a pedestal
As another icon to be advertised
I only wish for your understanding
Just enough to be humanized
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 11:40 PM UTC
Ranting
Screaming
Cussing in my head because my anger cannot be stopped
I am not a mindless sheep,
Not a child to be patronized and pitied
Don't laugh at me
I don't need your sympathies
If you care so much then why did you leave
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 6:25 PM UTC
Standing alone, surrounded
Outside a gas lamp - a flickering essence of mystery
A path.
Where it leads.
You choose not to know.
Rather walking inside
A step taken, nothing more
Inside - trapped, tied, tangled, knotted
Names you do not know
Faces glance
You change your name
Masquerade your personality with falsehoods
Shimmy in your dress
Chandeliers quiver to the gowns
Unkind fellows breathe to close
Gracing yourself
Caged with rules
Grappling with tradition
Patronized, condescending, and patted
Played with, passed, and mopped
A chess piece, a card
Your house of cards collapse
The glitter is gleaming in shades of red
Brown, green, and blue
Hiding from our shadows
Dancing in the glitter
Parading around the attraction of light
But masked our identity... With strands of gold
Gold plastered, masked, and molded on our face
Contemporary gold,
Will not ease the pain
The shadows envelopes your heartbeat
Stretching close to the ambilical chord to the light
Snap!
Every dream fades
All falls into deep darkness
Painful, deep shadows
Your face grusomely scalped
Scarred, scorched, with fear
The truth, rotted, fermented
All that rests is your masquerade gown, but now the moths got to it
Alone, when you are always surrounded
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 3:33 AM UTC
In a world where society says you need to be thin,
beautiful, and smart, funny yet sophisticated. In a work where you are to be yourself. Except you can't do that. Oh sorry, no, you can't do that either. In a world where you need to be unique but can't stand out of the crowd or you get patronized. "How are we supposed to go on in our lives being all those contradicting things?" you may ask yourself. Well, I have a solution. It is quite simple actually. You do you and don't listen to what society has to say. You be the perfect person you are in this beautiful world. You let NO ONE tell you who you should be, because you are amazing. You don't have to be skinny and tall. You don't need to be charismatic and sarcastic all at the same time. You don't need to worry about what people are going to say about you. If you want to wear that sweater covered in cats you ******* rock that sweater covered in cats! You could be a plump Hobbit and you would still be perfect because you are you, and you are amazing. Don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise.
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 4:55 PM UTC
i will not be dragged down to size
i will not be blindly patronized
i will, for no reason, compromise
i am myself, in that, there's pride
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 10:41 AM UTC
It will be a life of loss isn't it my lover
And maybe an eternity before
I find what I'm looking for
Before I can tell you about
the ones who broke my heart
Before I can laugh all this pain away,
Im going to get lost and take another pill
just so I can
Feel a little bit normal once in my life
Or be loved by somebody for once
Then get drunk on happiness
I'm going to keep
Crying about why people say I never try
And feeling left out and patronized
And you know what's funny?
I can't tell you about any of this
Even when you ask
what's wrong with me
Cuz you won't understand
You're not flawed and strange like me
I'm going to be lonely
With my soul in a locker
And I'm going to have to blame it on
Myself
Isn't that right?
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 9:01 AM UTC
Do you have any idea how it feels
To have someone leave you in order to "protect you"?
And they always think they're the first one ever to do it too
Like there isn't a parade of cowards marching away
With excuses falling from their lips
When really
They're just scared that they could hurt someone so deeply.
I've got news for you all
The ones who leave
The ones who left
For my own good.
You didn't.
You don't.
You left for yours.
You leave
For yours.
You know as well as I do that my pain at being abandoned
Is a thousand times what any cruelty could have been
If only you stuck around to dish it out.
You just didn't
Want
To watch.
I have to watch.
Every time.
I have to watch it decimate the parts of me I've spent time nurturing.
I have to watch and know that you think
You saved me from you.
So let me tell you what being left for your own good feels like.
It feels like being used.
It feels like being patronized.
It feels like being disposable.
It feels like
Being condemned.
I'm brave enough to face the horrors inside of you.
Are you?
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 12, 2017 at 1:33 AM UTC
what is it with you and hurting me?
is it the way i hyperventilate that makes you want me?
is it the way i lay in bed and
sob and
sob and
sob
that makes you want me?
is it the way i force sleeping aids down my throat
that makes you want me?
what is it with you anyways?
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 2:39 PM UTC
an internalization of pattern,
a process possessed
and mirrored.
A frequency,
the same sound as is found in
a dying fire
and leaf-fall
over a patronized footpath,
a hum,
and a crackling.
A seemingly random happening
guided by a template of ritual elimination.
Narrowing down the stream of all things
to fit inside
a mind.
This is who I am.
A recurring dream
and the feeling of waking from it
to find yourself
where you were
always.
.covered.
Only so many masks
to fit a face.
In so much paint,
only so much color,
and in all the ways you can put it to a page,
this is who I am
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 5:55 PM UTC
Palletizing people into segments and
Authenticating the segments with the gods they follow
Three billion gods with rules infinite
Expecting peace of mind be found!
The leaders of the weakened population
Misleading with those hollow promises
Ultimately giving hope wrapped empty boxes
Thinking being a part of democracy..!
Upliftments! What they are rendering
Picking up from village mud
Dumping into city corporate slums
What a happy patronized crowd!
Conserving the little fairy of there's
From Fox eyed bad world they say
Saving her by taking her freedom
And married into unknowns!
Well what to expect!
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016 at 1:48 PM UTC
God, this hurts.
It's terrible and heart-wrenching.
To believe the moments we had weren't worth anything.
Or were they?
I have trouble discerning.
I wanted love that didn't make me feel patronized, used, discarded, and broken.
Would it make me happy?
Would it make me feel more alive to be away from you?
Would I find someone that deserves me?
How can I say this respectfully?
Without putting down our moments together?
I hate you.
I hate you so much to the point that I want you out of my life.
To the point I can say "You can die!" ad I wouldn't care.
You made me bare,
all my emotions and time,
while you sat in silence.
This is when I CAN'T remember.
These were the moments I CAN'T surrender.
Therefore, I smile when I look at you but feel like throwing up in a corner.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 30, 2019 at 4:25 PM UTC