God, this hurts. It's terrible and heart-wrenching. To believe the moments we had weren't worth anything. Or were they? I have trouble discerning. I wanted love that didn't make me feel patronized, used, discarded, and broken. Would it make me happy? Would it make me feel more alive to be away from you? Would I find someone that deserves me? How can I say this respectfully? Without putting down our moments together? I hate you. I hate you so much to the point that I want you out of my life. To the point I can say "You can die!" ad I wouldn't care. You made me bare, all my emotions and time, while you sat in silence. This is when I CAN'T remember. These were the moments I CAN'T surrender. Therefore, I smile when I look at you but feel like throwing up in a corner.