Deep breaths I breathed
Such pain, never eased
Grasp a hopeless dream
Hear the cries and screams
No longer their savoir
Such depressing behavior
Snow falls onto lifeless hair
My soul caught in a snare
My dear brother
My dear mother
Goals, I did not achieve
Life gone like a staccato
Perhaps I can become a Legato.

You are my
Ensorcelled Elysium,
You are my
Eden Dream.

You cascade
Upon my Dreamscape,
Enshrine my slumber in
A flowered gale of aromatic petals
That envelop me, beckon me
To herald the rebirth
Of Days of Yore.

You vein
The Glistening Glade of Memories
With your
Brooks of Aqueous Emerald.

Tis' the
Phantasmagoric Plane
Where still
My wayworn spirit wanders, wearily
In search of the magic
To enfetter
The Hands of Fate
(For they conspire against us).

Swifter than your descent
Into my soul
(Five seconds still and flat)
By
The nexus of your affections,
You evanesced
Like vapor,
Yet
I shall not concede to
The Malevolent Matriarch of Destiny.

For you
O, Breath of Life,
Forsook me not
So I sublime all stains
Tarnishing my flesh
By cries to The Ethereal.

At midday
Awaiting the Twilight
I long for
The birth of The Womb of Aether’s
Progeny,
Starlit winds.

I muse
Swimmingly in Seas of Reminiscence,
Banished from that Blackened Bastion
Of Shadowed Heavens,
For when darkness shrouds
My dreams can be seen
Draping the skies.

I then fathom,
You must not be far off,
Wishing,
Hoping,
Believing
That perhaps
You too
Wonder upon stars
Longing to find that one
That entwines us anew.

You shall alight,
Upon me once more
As
August Sun’s Nimbus
(If only for a moment)
Is thwarted
By
Ebony Miasma
That drenches Cimmerian skies.

In search
Of Ardor’s Light abiding in
The Sylvan Shrine of Your Numinous Eyes
I plead that
The Crag oppress
The Coals of Tribulation,
Until my anguish is
A Diamond Heart.

The pilgrimage
I must bear,
Must be traveled by
The Adamantine alone.

Where have you gone,
Tree of Life?
Why have you withered,
Yggdrasil?

Do I possess
The Eradia of Souls,
By which you shall
Effloresce?

I would halt the cogs of time,
Relinquish my liberty,
To slumber for eternity
In crystal stasis
By your side.

Even in that crystalline quietude,
I would be eminent,
I would be exalted,
I would be ennobled,
In the knowingness that
Your
Stalwart Heart
Radiates
Just beside me.

I exhale Empyrean Winds
When rapt in reverie,
Yearning to be
Captive to your devotion,
Yours alone.

The Bliss of Your Most Holy Kiss
Would signet me
With the
Bounty of Your Name
Burnishing the skin
On my lips.

Though ephemeral,
Your presence divined,
Your presence
Was my anointing.

To be solaced
By the astral resonance emitted
By your touch
Sent the
Pulse of Nirvana
Surging, rippling,
Like a kaleidoscope tide,
Down my spine

You are
The Waters of Vitality
That floweth from
The Creeks of Eden,

You have been
Poured upon my palate
From the
Goblet of Redemption
That I may drinketh
Of
Supernal immortality.

When once again we meet,
Perhaps the tears you summoned
From my spirit
By your
Stirring caress
Shall have absolved me
Of the pangs
In loving a man
(And man alone).

Perhaps then,
The sentiments
I pine to profess,
Will resound.

A melody
Sung in legato,
A  mellifluous melisma,
Flawlessly delineated
And
Intonation in deiform
Or perhaps,
Flowering fioritura
Lacing airwaves,
By the Empress Coloratura.

Perhaps then, piety
Betwixt you and I,
Will waft the air
And I might then,
Permit my quaking body
To succumb to
You alone.

Until that morn,
I shall be vigilant,
Counting the Dawns,
Counting the Twilights,
Until
I can gaze
Into your forested eyes
If even for but a moment.

For even but a moment
Spent with you,
Will bleed a nostalgia
Across my mind's sky,
Painting clouds crimson with passion,
And
That I shall revere,
And
That shall last
And last
And,
Last… And
Last.

O, it will last,
To Elysian Infinity.

∞
            I am a vestige,
               But I shall live once more,
                  In the light of memories
                       That blossom, are perennial,
                           And imbibe the dazed glory of the past
                       Until the past is vanquished
                 By a future that is fragrant
             With the mist of romance
          And eclipses the simulacrum,
       A fictitious sun of the infernal masquerade,
    The antithesis of the truest holy,
Then, rapture of life shall mystify no longer,
For the Numen of Truth,
  Shall cleanse creation without a drop of façade,
      His Providence shall emancipate the hollow,
             The Death of Dreams shall writhe
               In everlasting abeyance,
                 Absolving our wayward spirits,
                  The Winds of Change,
                  The Scourge of Pain,
               And
          The Loveless Wraiths
        That haunted our husks
      Shall be transcended for aeons,
  And tribulation made distant, made nebulous
As the Genesis of Time and Space itself
  For we embark on an exodus,
     Beseeching salvation to redeem us
        When the Requiem of Iniquity
           Is triumphed by everlasting cadence.

Be Valiant,
                 Be Sapient,
                             Be Love
                                       And
                                          By this
                                                You shall conquer the world
                                                           ∞

Sarò onesto .L'autunno è la mia stagione preferita .E ** tempo per maglioni accogliente .buonissimo cacao caldo e curling dal fuoco per quasi tutto l'anno .Cioè .fino a quando io offro i miei occhi su un tropicale amore -fest come questo giorno cara catturato dai Jonas Peterson .Perché questo .amici miei .è un insieme capolavoro piena di sole contro la terra mozzafiato conosciuta come Fiji .e se ogni ultima immagine gloriosa non ti vuole mettere in valigia un po 'di infradito e prendere il primo volo fuori .non so cosa farà .Vedi tutto qui .


E un piccolo film magia Zoom Fiji ?Penso che lo faremo .Si prega di aggiornare il tuo

browserColorsSeasonsSpringSettingsGolf ResortStylesDestination Da Sposa.Sono cresciuto sognando di sposarsi su un'isola tropicale e Fiji era il posto perfetto per rendere questo sogno .Fiji occupa un posto speciale in entrambi i nostri cuori come Dave mi ha sorpreso proponendo e organizzato per volare verso Fiji il giorno successivo per una vacanza incredibile .Siamo entrambi innamorati amare la cultura delle Fiji abiti da sposa on line .il popolo delle Fiji sono così felice e cordiale e ci siamo sempre sentiti così benvenuti.Abbiamo deciso di fare l'Intercontinental Golf Resort \u0026 Spa sulla Coral Coast .un posto così bello .Volevamo un matrimonio intimo con amici e famiglia per condividere il nostro giorno speciale .Abbiamo voluto creare un'atmosfera divertente e rilassante dove i nostri ospiti possono rilassarsi e hanno una grande vacanza !Ciò che era speciale era di essere in grado di uscire con i nostri ospiti che portano al matrimonio .cocktail a bordo piscina .snorkelling sulla barriera corallina e grandi cene .La mia wedding planner Jane all'Intercontinental Golf Resort e Spa ha fatto il lavoro più sorprendente prendersi cura di tutto.Dave e io non dovevano preoccuparsi per una cosa !Come eravamo sposati all'estero ** ancora voluto mettere il mio tocco speciale al nostro matrimonio così ** avuto una



palla di abiti da sposa 2014 progettare i nostri inviti di nozze.Volevo solo qualcosa di casuale e divertente per riflettere la giornata .
erano così felici con quello che il villaggio fornito in termini di fiori e decorazioni .siamo stati fortunati nostra famiglia sono stati in grado di aiutare le decorazioni parlare etc oltre a Fiji .E 'stato importante per noi per i nostri ospiti di sperimentare alcuni la cultura delle Fiji così abbiamo incorporato ballerini Fiji e uno spettacolo di fuoco .tutti i nostri ospiti davvero apprezzato questo .è veramente fatto la notte così speciale .Abbiamo anche avuto serenaders giocare prima della cerimonia e durante l' ora del cocktail .** anche avuto il privilegio di essere scortato alla cappella da due guerrieri delle Fiji .Il nostro ricevimento si è tenuto presso la firma raffinato ristorante Intercontinentals Navo che si affaccia sulla laguna e l'isola di Navo .Dave e ** organizzato un cocktail speciale per tutti i nostri ospiti in arrivo .è stato un mojito di cocco .i nostri ospiti davvero apprezzato questo tocco speciale .** amato il mio bouquet di orchidee e la bella rosa zenzero damigelle mazzi di fiori .hanno legato perfettamente con i loro abiti Amsale .I ragazzi hanno ben sopportare il calore indossando abiti in calore !

Una cosa che era molto importante per me era il nostro fotografo di matrimoni .Avevo fatto la mia ricerca.ma il mio cuore è stato impostato su Jonas Peterson .Non sono rimasto deluso .ha catturato il nostro giorno così bello .entrambi amiamo le nostre foto e li faremo amare sempre .** anche volato su un artista makeup incredibile da Sydney .Christina Chiaramente che era stato a Fiji molte volte quindi sapevo che ero in buone mani .Lei ha fatto un ottimo lavoro e siamo tutti sembrava così bello .il nostro trucco rimase tutto il giorno e la notte .** una squadra di provenienza dei capelli locale da Fiji .non sono rimasto deluso .sapevano esattamente quello che volevo e la loro conoscenza lavorando con i capelli al calore delle Fiji era incredibile !Abbiamo anche avuto il piacere di lavorare con Zoomfiji .hanno anche fatto un ottimo lavoro catturare il nostro giorno speciale .Ognuno è andato al di là di rendere il nostro giorno così incredibile .

Il personale era incredibile all'Intercontinental abiti da sposa 2014 e niente era troppo disturbo per loro .Hanno davvero fatto in modo che si cura di noi e abbiamo avuto il giorno avevamo sempre sognato !Vinaka !

Fotografo: Jonas Peterson | Abito da sposa: Spose di Beecroft | Cancelleria Wedding : Fave Paper Designs | Scarpe da sposa : peeptoe Scarpe | Abiti da sposa : Amsale | Makeup Artist : Christina Cleary | Capelli: Capelli N Mkp Perfezionista | Striscioni pubblicitari : Lullaby Mobiles| Pezzo di capelli della sposa : Kristi Bonnici Accessori da sposa | Abiti Girls ' : Silk \u0026 More | Località : Intercontinental Golf Resort \u0026 Spa FijiAmsale è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui
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We met in the Red Square at Midnight. Sitting on the austere steps of the Kremlin We drank Stolichnaya in silence; listened to St. Basil’s Bells stoic ringing until Our sun rose pale over Moscow  

Beauty is created when I press your mulatto skin to mine.
We shift. You move, and as you’re moved you move me.
Our motion akin to your mother’s in a gentle breeze or a dancer;
Some Elise pirouetting et fouetter and falling over graceful infinities.    

I am deliberate during this ballet. Subdominant.
Una corda e sostenuto, and as you request so do you respond; relaxed,
Sustaining single notes; soft into that ethereal Moonlight…
Blurred and blunted, your perfect meter dampened by my learned cadence.
    
As you sound off forte I rock slightly forward, coming into you harder.
We breathe sharp together; my fingertips caressing you legato;
My Ana Magdalena. Andantino; rolling into flurries of crescendos
presto allegro climaxing; Capitulating again before we rest…
Before lento diminuendo.                                                      ­                

We courted at the Konig Von Ungarn in Vienna. It was classical and   romantic. Baroque. We fell in love. At Figaro’s wedding we tasted sangria as the stars Set, pastel, over Seville. Our first kiss was the Holy Roman Empire fading; A footnote under bass cleft.

We were married in the Rhineland, a single Canon announcing our nuptial.
You a Riesling and I your lattice. I stood firm, resolute, as you grew in, around, and from me. But the lords, they taint you, they **** me of your fruits; oblivious, they invoke their subtle prima nocta.                            

From the rooftops and the gutters they hear you. A virtue is lost between us. We shift. They are unwelcome eavesdroppers’ playing ******.  
They come and gather round us and I grow nervous, stiff; sweat falling from my brow to your ebony and ivory.
They move provocative, but they do not care; they do not notice us.                            

I stop as they begin. They’re discourteous during this Can-can. Their  praise and kind words may arouse the pimps and ****** wandering Montmartre into Paris’s red-light,  “Hear,” they fall on deaf ears.
This is no Moulin Rouge. We are not meant to be exhibitionists and yet
we yield to their flat appeals.                                                         ­                           

I put my clothes back on, Rags is all they are, and you, you’ve become stark.
I project my discontent through your string and hammer heart;
I slap your toothy face and stomp your sterling feet without relent.
I-De-tach-My-self-From-You. Staccato. They call me Inventive and as they sip their whiskey, their bourbons and their Texas Tea they tell us that
we have Entertained.        

We build our home from the precious stones of foreign countries.
We traverse ages to reach the mines and the rock fields, finding rough Diamonds and sapphires. Naked, we wash them in ether; they luster.
The noblemen come. They smile and applaud as they peep through the Windows and knock at the doors, but We shall not  be moved.

I’m lost in Rome,
all the roads have brought me here.
I’m searching for home,
Holding a picture of it near.
I step into the metronome,
I enter with an identity in my pockets.
I speak to the garden gnome,
He’s asking if I’d like to buy a silver locket.
At a legato tempo,
10. The metronome keeps ticking.                                                         ­       
My lips only stay chapped,
Simply because I won’t stop licking them.
“I’m looking for the Lucky Fix.
The Shaved Jaguar told me this is the place.”
The Gnome haggles me up in my face,
“Oh please, I know all the old tricks!
I now control your brain stem.
You have a long way to go! You’ve been trapped!”
At an Allegro tempo;
20. The Metronome keeps tocking.
On the stage,
The Kangaroos are still kick-boxing.
Breaking free of their cage,
The only price is to make you dance.
“I seek to barter for some potions",
They want to know, "So Why have I been cursed?”
The Hooting Owl, offers them a grand notion.
“Keeping thinking that and you might just burst.”
30.The metronome stops on the off-beat, .
“Where is the Lucky Fix?”
I began to grow impatient!
“Don’t you first need your feet?
Your priorities need to be layered bricks.
Your addiction to gratification will lead you to defeat!
You can find the matches in the Fire Station.
I know some of the tricks. That’s a good place to start.”
The Goblins are looking for the heart.
40. With a Presto Tempo
You must reset the Metronome.
TJW 2013
.

My ***** Lover

Irrationality always wins
Chicago is aspirated beast
Braggart forced laugh
I had a vision but I have no vision
Dreamed I was making out with a woman

Who had long stretchy pink octopus tentacles
Sedulously legato ephemera
Growing from external rim of ******
Sobriquet inimical desiccation
One tentacle wrapped around and tickled

Diurnal nugatory verisimilitude
While other squeezed testicles
What was I talking about, oh yes
Everything got out of hand
Expect unthinkable gusting winds

To huff puff blow house down
Filthy rotten scoundrel but
Started out so sweet
Inchoate caliphate apocryphal
Wish I had her gift

Like the sugar I lick off the tips of my fingers
Like the moment before falling asleep
Like the loss of thirst after drinking water
Like the instant of realisation when I comprehend the truth...

All momentary
All relieving
Like an extended release of rhythmic legato notes...

When specks of ash float on the breath of the last great tree,
When the heat Scorches the final blade of grass to dust,
When the sun dares to rise again,
We will prevail.

When the ocean’s great white waves blow back black,
When the last leaf sways down to its final resting place,
When the clouds seem to always cry,
We will rise.

When the breeze whispers it's melodious secrets,
When the earth stops beating the drum of its heart,
When the water’s legato rhythm becomes jagged,
When the fire eats up everything that is left,
We will feast.

We will devour the last of mankind.
We will peel skin,
We will pick nails,
We will lick the very fingers that once fed us.

Unforgiving,
We take the young.

Heartless,
We watch them burn.

Happily,
We yearn for more.

In the end,
I rise to take my throne.
Stepping on empty skulls,
Snapping, cracking, and
Creaking to sit upon the empty wasteland of bones.

I smile,
Sitting back to admire my creation.
The birth of something new.
A perfect melody built just for you,
And this time, you better sing.

Arcane rumblings bellow out from the infrastructure.
The secrets swell out from the wealthy infidels. Their water has broken.
The top-hat henchmen gather their whiskers.
Stuttering shock and leaking their whispers,
vulcan-loud.

The wise old casualties know all of what’s to come,
    so they pack their sacks with their old guns
    to fortify their army of one.
The news skips the billions of ignorant families
    condemning daughters and sons to an army of none.

The first bullets abandon their barrels,
    the kick-off to pain, from poise.
Eager to byte flesh, fur, faith,
    eager to make some godawful noise.
The following blasts are a metallic symphony
Quickly looming, swooning,
    booming into cacophony
                                                      in shrill-major.

Blood spatters pavement, under marching feet,
is dragged, looped about the streets in a homicide calligraphy,
paralyzing the squinting mercenaries.

Out come the canons,
              dancing on their wheels,
           silencing the gunfire,
         spinning on their heels,
     dissenting the sonata with rifle-explosion accompaniment.

Warrior sighs greet the late auxiliary:
     armadas sing in baritone
     while civilians scream soprano.
         Children cry in alto.
         Blood flows in legato.
Today some of us will die
so that the rest will open their eyes
to an oversky, cloud-bloated with lies.

While down below we blaze away our requiem.
And by the hand of this same melody we die.
Here lies humanity,
       fashioning,
       always,
    a bellicose smile.

Silver*

is a lot like the night when the gentle moonlight shone through my windows
and I swore it was perfect for a slow dance —
those kind of dances when you feel every molecule of your twirling and swaying;
those kind of dances when you dance to your own music –
legato and occasional staccatos during moments
when you close your eyes and feel the world beneath your feet skip to your beat;
those kind of dances you swore that you could win the title “best dancing couple”
even if you were dancing alone
because your best accompaniment is often yourself.
Silver is a lot like when we wished on that 1111 moment together and
you said you wished for me to be happy,
it may have just been a simple wish but
it sent this tingling feeling down my spine
and I could feel my heart thumping (lub dub lub dub),
pumping the pure essence of happiness into my veins.
Silver is a lot like the day when we first met,
when our eyes first met in this 2 second glimpse
that made the little butterflies in my stomach go crazy.
It’s what I remember my dreams to be.
Sprinkled with glitter
and how I woke up to the freshness of the previous night.
Silver is watching darkness engulf the place where I took a little stroll,
I remembered the crickets chirping to the dampness of the air,
I remembered how the wind caressed my face with it’s soft touch,
I remembered the trickling of the river water
which carried with it so much potential and brilliance.

I remember.

Anticipation tiptoes from table to table.

My Jelly Roll Soul
Sets sail for Alice’s rabbit hole.

In front of a hushed, hip crowd,
The music condenses into a scarlet cloud,
And originality speaks aloud.

A trumpet sounds,
A subway car rumbles underground,
Signaling all the cool cats
That it’s time to get down.

A virtuoso teases black and white keys,
Shaping notes with subtle expertise.
The closest I’ve ever seen, man come to mastering machine.
Slowing the frenzied, fractured step of the East Village above,
To E’s. Legato ease.

Optional Z’s
Leave many without sleep,
For who could snooze
At times like these?
The alto-sax
Is bending C’s!

Just listen in, on that wailing bassoon,
Who howls to the moon.
It might be noon,
Up there.
But that’s up a flight of stairs,
And I’m enjoying my jazzy state of affairs.

There will always be time for Nostalgia in Times Square.

It is raining Chopin
Reminding me that together we are an arpeggio
Alone, I am played in legato
I plant myself in every horizon and
at one end of each rainbow; the other end belonging to somebody else.
I watch the clock and can tell it is 8:00 when the train passes
but I can’t see the hands move.
It is 2012 not because of the fireworks in
limbo between December and January, but because
I can feel the red yarn in me tightening –
I have less.

I

after a bath
and the window open
I was touched
by an air of autumn
against my body
not quite towelled
hardly dry but ready
nonetheless to feel
something of the season’s
change against my fragile self

(an autumn air)


II

so very green
and multitudinous shades
holding the late afternoon
in greenness
only the towpath
measured out in sunlight
and the seat of a bench distant
providing a goal
a sensible place to aim for

we set out with her guiding hand
clasping my weakness
when a dragonfly
intricate in full sunlight
moves against a backdrop
of dark-shadowed trees
poising at eye-level
to look us over
and is off away

on our return
(from that distant bench
our goal our aim)
there a kingfisher
flashes past
and into a canal-side bush
we wait and wait hoping
to catch again the trajectory
of its miraculous flight

(canal side)

III

to whom it may concern

presumptuous I think to wish for anything
beyond one has and holds - anything
in regard to property or possessions
I have no wish to consider further
Who has what of me I disdain
and whatever it might be can only be
in my gift and surely that must be freely given
Should there be the slightest hint of dispute
I hope some Almighty Hand will
remove all and everything
to the very darkest depths

in friendship


(a letter of wishes)




IV

begun as joyous celebrations
of musical art bright and lively
on the page welcome
to the ear as to the eye

so often full of dance gentle
reflections sonorously sounding
out in playfulness
and reasoned movement


(Beethoven’s Op.18 string quartets)




V

with only the bare essentials
the most limited of means
this music grips and stirs
springing out of unisons
octaves bare chords of the fifth
and a play of rhythms
straight and straight-forward
four-square angular tight
against the beat within the bar
a simple subtlety and space
between two instruments:
the legato violin tempering
the insistent piano - always
movement no repose a constant
unwinding thread
of perilous invention
hardly a breath taken
a pause made

(on hearing Shostakovich’s Sonata for Violin and Piano)



VI

he types:

the post-box is too far way
as I must (e)mail this note today

so with no maker’s mark
this message will forego
the papered page
ink’s curved line and flow
the fold the sticky edge
the stamp well placed
the stroll with the dog
to the box along the lanes
in evening’s light
sounds of roosting birds
and flittering squeaks of bats

(an email from a former student)



VII

aware of my fragility
his gracious manner
moves me to tears
In speaking
he places every word
with infinite care
in practiced deliberation
. . . and I am crying
at his understanding
that he knows my loneliness
in dying and how I wish
to rise above
this momentary upset
to assure him I can
and will cope
that I am in his hands
He just has to say . . .


(visit to the doctor



VIII


Daily I curate the contents
of this window sill
a changing exhibition
backdrop to a sedentary life

Today: Japanese wallpaper c.1925.
Mead Cloth by Matthew Harris,
Hokusai – Mount Fuji and six cranes ( two flying)
Post card from the Pyréneées
An earthenware blackbird and thrush in a cherry tree
David Hockney, April 25 from The Arrival of Spring
Un passé plat empiétant tapestry from Madagascar.


(exhibition on a window sill)



IX

being twenty-one
seems no great age
but I remember it dimly
when adrift in my life
it came and went –
a spring and sunny day
a watch from my parents
a few cards . . .

but for you
a family day at Kew
a meal with relatives and friends
altogether a good time to remember
I so hope you will . . .


(at twenty-one)


X

To members of the London Symphony Orchestra
Ralph Vaughan-Williams is reported to have said:
‘Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the man
who writes my music.’

Unfortunate this, as his copyist Roy Douglas
had the job of deciphering the composer’s appalling
handwriting, the result of a natural
left-handedness being corrected as a child.

For me, the person who has written my music
so faithfully for fourteen years rarely dealt with
illegibility but had instead to cope with conflicts
of musical spelling.
Is this a sharp? Should this be a flat?
Do we need a cautionary accidental here?

Fortunately, he and I were not espoused as Stravinsky and
Elgar were to their long-suffering copyists, who often berated
their husbands for their inability to spell chromatic pitches
correctly. Stravinsky had an excuse: the vagaries of the octatonic scale
he often used and loved. Elgar was just ******-minded! Poor Alice . . .


(saying a warm goodbye to my copyist)


XI


to talk about yourself when
dead and gone How strange!
This need - to put in place
to sort the detail now
and so avoid confusion
What then?


An indeterminate wait
until the moment comes
the eyes won’t open
on a woken world
ears not hear
the sound of traffic
from a nearby road


there will be
an emptiness sublime
a finishing of tasks
and all those earthly
mysteries solved
and deemed complete


So this is what
we recommend
It could be this?
It could be that?

and every which way
it’s yours to choose
for rightness sake
Amen


*(the interview)

Benedetto sia'l giorno e'l mese e l'anno
e la stagione e'l tempo e l'ora e'l punto
e'l bel paese e'l loco ov'io fui giunto
da'duo begli occhi che legato m'ànno;

E benedetto il primo dolce affanno
ch'ì ebbi ad esser con Amor congiunto,
e l'arco e le saette ond'ì fui punto,
e le piaghe che'nfin al cor mi vanno.

Benedette le voci tante ch'io
chiamando il nome de mia donna ò sparte,
e i sospiri e le lagrime e'l desio;

e benedette sian tutte le carte
ov'io fama l'acquisto, e'l pensier mio,
ch'è sol di lei; si ch'altra non v'à parte.

Fill me with music.
Let me brim with your melodies, and cry out lyrics.
Taste the guitar’s strings on my tongue, feel them strum your body into ******.
Fingers pressing against my keys, lifting vibrations from the very base of my core, and coaxing them from my mouth.

My torso acts as violin, and your lips a bow. They leave me humming for you, deep and legato.
Your tongue flicks against reeds of sensation. Punctuates key changes and where your instrument shall come in.
I, the band, is directed by you, the maestro, until you are ready to finish our song.

I feel the heat of your symphony radiating into me.
I sing soprano only for you.
Together, we are an orchestra.

I.* there is no thicker undergrowth than feeling. first to go is reason, everything
    else levitates into something graver than say, one foot deep  in the grave
     and the other somewhere off-tangent like an offbeat adagio zigzagging
      into slammed slalom.

II. the crush of oregano against mortar, and the clasping of a hand. carbon monoxide
      fades into air as youth takes on momentousness. take for instance this once soft
    hand like a breath of cotton in a precipitate noon: once whirling in claustrophobic
      space, this slight inch of feelingfulness is dazed into the span of *Maya windhovering
       somewhere unseen like paramours *******.

III. from the window you can feel the bluster of falsetto disintegrate at its slouched peak,
       and from where you hear it, a dance thwarts itself like a cigarette ember
       convulsing mid-air – that slow, repugnant twitch: that is you, when you first
        broke your silence in thick shrouds of disgust over strobe-lighted simian jaw.

IV. what else is there but to take this sour ocean in front of me and decode something
       the blue always means mellow but the froth of white something the tragic caprice
        of tropic: some nights, they remind me of bodies careening repeatedly; some days
                    they just are, like you, just are, like a riot and only sound, or sleep and only
          reticence, something short of wonder and terse with reply.

V. there is a cluster of harmonies flowering in my mind when the sensurround of din
        starts conflagrations in the ornate dark of ear. my limbs snake in the garden
        of plank, my shin bitten in sharp reiterations – my mind crossing the equinox
         looking for shade, or possible, a parasol underneath the crimson of rain.
           say this is the sky, this dense space when I motion both hands into a length
       not an inch could ever devour. suddenly a boy made out of a man, flustered
        in jangled arpeggios and unapologetic thought like a letter of debt opened,
         paying no heed the mind and only what the body dictates: a smash on the
    escritoire or vigorously scratching scalp, reopening scabs and watching
                old blood ooze dry like a lightweight webbed impression
  of       a    dreamy legato.

VI. the night deepens with the warmth of its black upholstery – we do not know
      when to stop and bid for home. last to go is will of force and first to arrive
     in the bleakness like a recalcitrant thought often straying outside with the
       strut of a yuppie, fervor of old haunt. i conjure an image over the cold chair,
    its steel framework thighs untouched, its four decrepit legs the foundation
       of something that refuses to admit its weakness. the very base of what would
   catch the anchorage of my gravity, the very heart of all, and the flattened back
      with a vandal that says “Soleil was here.” the liver shattering in the trance
                    of everything.

VII. night is stupor. i am the lilt of words from a rambunctious machine.         there seems to be an afterthought that separates
                       a concept of vastness and the tactility of narrow ether.
        a word is uttered in extremis - something heaven eschews
                with its bright, arrogant face.

Since you have already plucked my heart strings,
let us make music together.
Whisper to me at night,
in syllable serenades that I
will only half remember on waking.
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,
until my tongue can stand it no more
and I must speak in symphonies.
Touch me delicately,
tickle my ribs until they become piano keys,
and play them until they cry out
chords that spell your name.
Let your laughter be trills in our cadenzas.
Let the pop of your knee drive a march to my bed.
Let me run my fingers up your spine,
jumping vertebrae like octaves,
from your tip to your toes.
Let my every shuddered breath be but syncopation
to the bass drum of your heart.
Be quiet with me,
let us play in piano,
soft as silence or sleep.
Stay there, linger for as long as the fermata holds.
And then, let us raise our voices together,
glorious crescendos upon crescendos,
until at last we can build no longer, and
return together to the tonic.
Run your hands across my hips,
play my longing in liquid legato strokes,
effortless in your endeavors.
Touch me again.
Let our gasps play counterpoint
to the melodies of our moans.
Take what you will of me,
fill me with song,
write sheet music in my lungs,
so that every breath I draw
sings on its way out.
Purse your lips and kiss me like embouchure.
Give me every quaver, every semitone, every holy harmony.
Leave me buzzing vibrato,
kiss me con brio.
Let me caress your delicate curves,
as though you were a violin made flesh.
If my temperament be just, then play on.
And let us be of one form, sonata-allegro,
until we must be jazz.
And then we shall burn the world with passion,
with chords no one knows but us.
So, for the sake of recapitulation,
I must ask again:
let us make music together.

we would be jazz—
smooth, mellow,
soul-damning.

burning with slow passion
or running and stumbling with joyous laughter.
no matter where we go—
up or down,
fast or slow,
we’d hit all the right notes,
replete with trills and runs,
bringing us to both highs and lows,
making beautiful melodies.

though sometimes
we seem to be out of sync,
it does not discount
from the beauty
that is us.

nothing subtracts.

there is only harmony,
no cacophony.
simplicity or complexity,
staccato or legato,
we will always be
jazz.

dissonant from the ground that ached
of frostbite,
fractured and mistress of

the Sargasso

she birthed the thin ghost of dawn
in legato
drawing the trembling line of

her lips.

fervent, the bulbous-born sky
washed her
in fat drunken clouds of

gray ships

climaxed in the aqueduct of
erratic dusk
and emerged as deity of

bagatelle and dust.

It should be dark.

Ethereality is brought upon by shadows
Comforting shades that beautifully waylay prancing lights
permeating mysticism to arouse the blandest of hearts.
Clustered crowns of effervescent greens scraped the sky
Their lithe fingers clasped, uneasy to divulge light
yet they do so for their trunkless kin at their feet

There should be music.

At dusk the chiming of army throats moan
the deep humming legato of elastic croak to their content
rich baritones with an orchestral blend of alluring notes.
Exoskeletal feet, an angels' choir too quick to play
Their voices, violins in concerto with hissing air
that slither in between the crevices of trees for beauty to play

I should be afraid.

A tiny mouse that shifts beneath dry leaves should scare
Rustling grass dimmed by jet skies fill you with dread
The tapping of leafless hands on rusted roof puts you under duress
Flash lightning mimics the morning in negative filter
The heavy blows of drizzling rain harmoniously mix with discordant wind
Then when it all settles, the beating of your own cardinal is unnerving.

Then I realize, all of which I stated are now in memory

That the stone road that always greeted me is now but dry and dirt
That the music I once heard met a sharp end that made everything else flat
That the movement in the brush no longer shivered my spine
That the birds and beasts will never again come to cheer
That the storms that ravaged my midsummer's night dream
is the same storm that ravaged my youth

And without these childhood memories
I am left unsophisticated, rural
Bare.

What is life?
A storm,
Watching the tangled web we weave
like lightning in the sky
as our life flashes before us.
Then ends
With a great roll of thunder,
A great sigh of relief.

Love is
a vibrato
two identities working together
to create something beautiful
Music and man.
The first meeting tentative,
suddenly grows with intensity
understood by few
and held for as long as possible
Until finally it fades
into a smooth legato.

Death
the most indefinite of all.
Never final, only physically permanent.
Where only six feet of dirt
or an oven
separate you from alive.
But never final.
Memories never die.
Your state is simply shifted
and you have become.
Immortal.

How the struggles served to strengthen my love for you
and faith that I am standing inside your enhancement walls

In sleep, a calmness washed over me,
White oceanic noise,
Ebbing and flowing like
Earth's lungs inhaling and exhaling

I awoke in the sunlight,
And heard the soft coos of pigeons outside my window,
Assembling their family nests

I watched as burdens of past and future
Passed through me like driftwood
In the clear river flow of now
As the last ruminants of the ripples faded

The rhythmic flow of my breath,
Legato, no longer staccato
And thoughts like harpsichord
Strumming on my axon strings

In this serene love I'll rest with you,
Tranquil and protected,
A journey forever written,  
To find myself back to you

I wish I could just melt into music.

I know that sounds weird, but I wish I could just become a never ending, legato phrase of music. Life takes so much out of me. I want to become an undying piece of beauty that will never be forgotten.

Music isn’t just something I listen to, or something that passes time.

Music is everything.

Every hour of every day and every night, there is music playing in my mind. It never stops. There’s nothing I can do to silence it.

I never want to stop getting chills because of the descant to the most beautiful choral piece.

I want to be the writer of the most gorgeous piano piece.

I never want to forget how the melody to my favourite song goes, even if it’s been twenty years since I last heard it.

I never want to forget how the lyrics to those songs made me cry, or laugh, or belt until my voice was gone.

There’s so much more to music than just notes on a sheet of paper.

Music is what keeps me alive.

Music is infinite.

i wrote you a letter,
spritzed it with pheromones,
dotted it in tears

every grim notion was far too pretty —
dressed in ballpoint ink
dancing a legato cursive

tracing everything i didn’t say;
my tongue was tangled up,
and your hearing was selective

but pain was bubbling out my pores,
and starting to burn
the only remedy was writing it out:

dear you,

i want to mold me into the
pedestal i put you on,
but you have to scooch a little

i want to go on a scavenger hunt
in your brain, but you didn’t
think to draft out clues

i want to use your heartbeat for 808s
and play them on repeat,
but you’d probably say that’s ludicrous

i want to find our favorite
frequency, i think it’s
somewhere close to middle c,

but you didn’t meet me there
never really cared to care,
and that’s fine, that’s fair

your debt to me is absent
same as mine to you
yet i’m still paying in time wasted

analyzing your words in my head
that don’t have double meanings
like i devised

you’re as literal as stem majors
uneager to decode the metaphors
i made for you

so i’ll stop writing them
at least
i’ll try

love,
me
(please)

folded up my fears of feeling
something more than my pulse
the impulse wasn’t strong enough

couldn’t muster the courage
to address it in your name
still i hoped you’d somehow see

so i let the wind take the reins
with fate in the passenger seat
clutching my precious card-stock cargo

will it find it’s way to you,
or dissolve amongst the mist?
i guess that i can only guess

She was a rest in a bar full of staccatos.
She was the note played pianissimo and the key that didn’t sing.
She had no forte in her soul, her steps were slurring phrases.
This girl was the music of a broken string.
Hers were the fingers stiff and cold; and the lip plate never kissed.
A metronome of self-doubt always ticking in her ears.
Never allowed a change in tempo, never shown to spread her wings.
Singing lessons from the deaf for 15 years.

The other was a pickup note, anxious to play the tune.
The dancer skipping steps up ledger lines.
The crescendo of passion, the diminuendo of a lullaby,
This girl no blaring trumpet could outshine.
But though her eyes were made of stardust her heart pulsed slowly, portato.
No accompanist, no duet, no conductor to keep the beat.
Her cheeks stung from the disguise, her worry slowed her, legato.
Compensating for loneliness with quick tempo deceit.

But, like broken triads, fate had it the two would somehow fit.
Drawn together as tied notes, destined to play their piece.
One so controlled by the orchestra, the other yearning for a duet.
The enchanting harmony within them had always burned to be released.
They played as one instrument, arpeggios overlapping in a heavenly key.
Swinging in synchronization, the melody swam magically through the night.
No longer controlled by metronomes, no longer stuck singing solo,
Forever, together, their own sheet music they would write.

- p. winter

Stroking the cool surface
that my head rests against
My mind empties of every thought
Every feeling
But the sensation
Of being entrapped within
a point dimension.
...
Reaching past the darkness
As the dimension grows ever larger
Draining my vision,
Stretching my will
thinner and thinner
Is it me who is shrinking
Or is the darkness growing larger?
What is it, that the warmth escapes me
As soon as I reach closer...
Falling out of reach
Never nearly close enough
To fall through my fingers.

That tight feeling in my throat
And that
Air that tugs on my lungs
And that
Urge to tear myself open
In a scream that fills
The empty landscape
...
Closing my eyes,
The cold melding away,
My head sliding down
In a legato staccato of my essence.

Brevi erano le tue lettere, precise, tutte muscolo e nervo,
di mano più usa al compasso, alla squadra, al gesto del duro comando.
Dicevan le semplici cose con semplici **** parole;
ma due ne portavano in fine, due, sempre le stesse: "Sei mia".
E quando ella giungeva, leggendo, al termine noto,
s'abbandonava all'indietro, vuotata del sangue, morente d'amore.
Ombre violacee intorno alla socchiusa bocca, all'affilato naso
precipitoso palpito delle vene gonfiate alle tempie alla gola
cecità delle palpebre, tensione delle mascelle nel desiderio
faccia di donna agonizzante in estasi, tu non la vedesti,
nessuno la vide. Era sola.

Ora, ogni notte, la donna che più non vorrebbe esser viva
nel vuoto della sua casa che ha odore di cenere spenta
scioglie un pacco di lettere legato con un nastro nero.
E legge; e, giunta al termine ben noto che a ognuna è sigillo,
ancor s'abbandona all'indietro, vuotata del sangue, morente d'amore.
Così, dalla tomba, con dura predace potenza di sillabe scritte
tu l'imprigioni, o scomparso, tu la possiedi così.

Mi domando che madri avete avuto.
Se ora vi vedessero al lavoro
in un mondo a loro sconosciuto,
presi in un giro mai compiuto
d'esperienze così diverse dalle loro,
che sguardo avrebbero negli occhi?
Se fossero lì, mentre voi scrivete
il vostro pezzo, conformisti e barocchi,
o lo passate a redattori rotti
a ogni compromesso, capirebbero chi siete?

Madri vili, con nel viso il timore
antico, quello che come un male
deforma i lineamenti in un biancore
che li annebbia, li allontana dal cuore,
li chiude nel vecchio rifiuto morale.
Madri vili, poverine, preoccupate
che i figli conoscano la viltà
per chiedere un posto, per essere pratici,
per non offendere anime privilegiate,
per difendersi da ogni pietà.

Madri mediocri, che hanno imparato
con umiltà di bambine, di noi,
un unico, nudo significato,
con anime in cui il mondo è dannato
a non dare né dolore né gioia.
Madri mediocri, che non hanno avuto
per voi mai una parola d'amore,
se non d'un amore sordidamente muto
di bestia, e in esso v'hanno cresciuto,
impotenti ai reali richiami del cuore.

Madri servili, abituate da secoli
a chinare senza amore la testa,
a trasmettere al loro feto
l'antico, vergognoso segreto
d'accontentarsi dei resti della festa.
Madri servili, che vi hanno insegnato
come il servo può essere felice
odiando chi è, come lui, legato,
come può essere, tradendo, beato,
e sicuro, facendo ciò che non dice.

Madri feroci, intente a difendere
quel poco che, borghesi, possiedono,
la normalità e lo stipendio,
quasi con rabbia di chi si vendichi
o sia stretto da un assurdo assedio.
Madri feroci, che vi hanno detto:
Sopravvivete! Pensate a voi!
Non provate mai pietà o rispetto
per nessuno, covate nel petto
la vostra integrità di avvoltoi!

Ecco, vili, mediocri, servi,
feroci, le vostre povere madri!
Che non hanno vergogna a sapervi
- nel vostro odio - addirittura superbi,
se non è questa che una valle di lacrime.
È così che vi appartiene questo mondo:
fatti fratelli nelle opposte passioni,
o le patrie nemiche, dal rifiuto profondo
a essere diversi: a rispondere
del selvaggio dolore di esser uomini.