You will go to sleep early to talk to your pillow.-Isaac Brock
The thoughts in my head were spinning around. It's all in doubt, it's all in doubt. - The Pacific Ocean

"Tell me why the stars are so bright?"
"They are made of gas which is constantly burning and the twinkling light is the result of that."
"You are simple"
"so what, I didn't listen to my teachers very well. you were the one who asked a simple question anyway"
"But was it?"
"I'm pretty sure it was, and how come you don't know?"
"I wanted to hear you tell me. Are you done with your video games now? I want to go outside"
"The game is almost over. Where would you like to go?"
"You always say it's almost over and yet it keeps going on and on. I don't know where to go, we should just go do something outside.
"Like what? I haven't been outside lately and there isn't much to do when you don't have money"
"It's not like we need to pay to go outside. You seem so reluctant to leave the house, who are you again?"
"How come you don't remember? My name is Bashful. What happened to you Jealousy?"
"I'm not entirely sure, something must have hit me on the head. We have to go now Bashful!"
"Why? It's not like there is anything that interesting outside."
"You have to come Bashful or I won't know how to act."
"Remember going outside always ends with disappointment."
"It won't be like that this time Bashful. We will find something fulfilling this time I swear."
"No Jealousy I don't want to go back outside. Id rather stay here in front of my screen."
"You know I'm not surprised much, after that last experience I can tell you don't want to show your face again."
"haha whatever Jealousy, just leave me alone."
"You are going to live with that disappointment forever Bashful if you don't let it go. I'm going to see if Envy wants to go and tell me when you change your mind. ok?"
"Will do."

"Wake, wake up you."
"What, whats happening?"
"Nothing at all you see that's why you gotta get up."
"But jealousy I was just so comfortable laying here, and the dreams were just about to start."
"You need to stop sleeping so much Envy, you will end up holed up in your room like Fear."
"Hmm, whatever you say. So what exactly did you want from me?"
"I wanted to see if you wanted to go outside. So do ya?"
"You don't seem yourself today Jealousy, why exactly do you want to go outside?"
"I feel so restrained in this place, and I'm not sure what there really is to do here anymore."
"You could just relax ya know like Content. He's been sitting there all day reading books and he seems fine."
"Yes he seems fine ,but he rarely even talks anymore. That last incident was just to much for him. Its as if he isn't even present anymore."
"You think too much, but ya Ill go outside with ya it's not like I have anything better to do. Have you asked Bashful?"
"I did but he's still upset about the other."
"I see. He sure is getting sensitive these days."

Jealousy and Envy then leave the house

"This isn't like you Jealousy. You have never been up to leave without Bashful with you. What's up?"
"I'm not sure..."
"Well you should try to sort things out before leaving next time because you don't look well now."
"It's the heat I feel faded and stretched."

The two walk down to the road

"What is there really to do outside these days? All I see is passing cars and others in the distance."
"Umm well I know Stress and Confidence usually go to the nearby station.."
"That's where they work Jealousy don't you remember. You've had to go with them once or twice now."
"Maybe, but the thing is I have no recollection of it."
"Something must of happened to you too during that last time out. You can recall that something occurred, but do you remember what exactly happened?"
"An other created a disturbance... I can sense it in Bashful and the rest of us..."
"Yes that's true but you have no idea of how it happened."
"I don't ya.."
"I guess Ill have to tell ya then, but lets get out of this heat first."

Jealousy and Envy walk over to a grass covered area with trees. Then Envy and Jealousy light up a cigg and resume their conversation.

"The day before, Stress,Bashful, and Coward had just returned from work and they wanted to head into another town to drink with friends. The rest of us agreed and we were able to get a ride. We arrived and thus collided into physical form."

Envy then shares the memory with Jealousy
"Who's ____"
"He's an artist she knows."
"Ohh ya, she told me about him last time I was hanging out with her. They seem to be getting along really well."
"Are you okay there___?"
"Ya I'm fine. I'm in the process of letting go. Are you ready to see if shes there? I want to get drunk."
"Let's go."

"Hey _____"
"How ya doing?"
"Fine. I brought my friend over too. Did you still want to hang out?"
The Memory Dissipates

"So where are you now friend?"
"I'm in a different place than before"
"Where is that? I've never seen you so distant"
"I think it's a place that doesn't truly exist. An imaginary space that confines it's only prisoner, me."
"That place doesn't sound very fun if its just you entrapped. Don't you have any visitors?"
"Once in awhile I let people inside, but then the space becomes distorted and chaotic with constant pressure to release myself"
"So you are the warden too?"
"In a sense I am but in another I'm not fully in control of that place."
"Who is?"
"I'm not entirely sure yet. I see a dark figure trailing me sometimes and I think it's the thing that brought me there. Though when I look back it disappears."
"Don't fade away ok?"
"I'm not gone yet. My mortality always brings me back, but someday I want to stay there."
"Why do you want to leave so badly?"
"I hate being here."

Jealousy used to be a girl with puppy eyes and braided hair.

She lurks around the dark side of the room

Waiting for someone to notice but they kept on denying her existence.



Jealous? No.



That’s all she could hear.



‘Til she grew bigger. She now has longer nails, no... claws.

Her messy curls showed up after taking off her braids.

Longer limbs and shorter temper. She screams loud.



By the back of her head, she wanted to be noticed.

She crawled around the whole room. Asking for attention.

And I noticed her. So is the name she whispers in my ear.



The sound is not loud now, but deafening.

It didn’t have sharp edges, but it cut me through.



That, did not made me bleed and cry. It did not make me weak, or so I thought.

But made me furious. She’s slowly reaching out for my hand. I had doubts but, I reached back to her. She stood, emotionless, while I unconsciously threw a plate across the room. I cried. But not in agony. In anger. For sure. I can feel flames rushing through my veins like a waterfall.



Jealousy is like a monster under the empty bed for so long that it learned how to dream.

Jealousy is like termites, slowly chewing off the walls where I used to carve our names with a small blade, I used to use to cut myself.

Jealousy is a box of “What If’s”

A box full of surprises and one of them... called, “assumptions”

Assumptions you thought were visions of the negative things.

Negative things you’re scared to happen. Or even to think about.



Jealousy thought your fear how to grow bigger.

They’re friends now.

And every walk she makes, Jealousy brought along Fear.

They try to pay you visits in your room, that you seem to stay a lot in now. This is the room where I used to watch cartoons and once fell from the rope you tied on the ceiling. It wasn’t that strong. The rope, the ceiling, and me.



It used to be just short visits, now they got themselves their own sofa bed lying next to your queen-sized mattress.  



But I wanted them to leave.



As I see him packing his bags and opening the bathroom door to get his toothbrush.



I wanted them to leave.



But Jealousy invited a guest.



Jealousy invited Pride.



**He left//

Jealously's a you-know-what
I hate her with a passionate rage
My heart barely harbors this feeling
But every emotion has a stage

Jealousy should go away now
No one loves her, she's uncool
She just makes me look bad  
I let her use me like a tool

Jealousy is the ugliest of all
She lurks in my mind until I break
Her clammy hands suffocate my heart
I end up giving what she wants to take

Jealousy lives everywhere
She's a million places at a time
Toss her in the fire, my dear
Just wait, and out she'll climb

Jealousy is the only one I truly hate
She's ruined perfectly good days
Get lost, you stupid imposter!
You're always misleading our ways!

Jealousy reeks of insecurity
Hungry and scared like a forgotten pet
But Jealousy doesn't play nicely
She just builds and builds regret

Jealousy is always hiding
You never know where she might be
Keep an eye on your heart and mind
She's always looking for another lost key.

Jealousy changes you—it completely shifts your mind and paradigm and way of thinking and way of seeing things.

Jealousy  makes your brain cloudy with anger, unable to think clear.

Jealousy makes you succumb to the gruesome power of fear.

Jealousy raises up your ego in a heartbeat, making you defending yours like your whole life clings to it.

Jealousy takes your will to love—if it's still there at all. Because who knows loving someone could be this exhausting?

Jealousy makes you a repugnant, revolting human being.

...and jealousy has successfully done every single thing above, to me.

This jealousy is killing me.
Eating at my soul until there's nothing left but this burning, consuming jealousy.
Listening to you and knowing that I'll never be as good as you,
I'll never live up to the standards you've set.

This jealousy is ruining me,
Ruling everything I do.
It's taking hold of my brain,
An iron grip I can't break, because I'm not stronger than jealousy.
I'm not stronger than the monster that's been tearing me apart since the day I first saw you.

This jealousy is breaking me.
Beating down the walls I put up to convince myself I can be as good as you,
Tearing down my defenses to tell me just how much better you are,
Just how high the bar is set,
Just how far away from it I'll always be,
Just how fast I'd give everything to have what you have.

This jealousy is killing me.

I don't know how much longer I can last.

Jealousy
My fine feathered friend
At the most inopportune moment
You come flying in
Creating havoc
Before you take leave
What is there to say
Jealousy

    *Jealousy
    You take the leap
    Fly off the handle
    Before time to think
    Take any situation
    To the utmost degree
    Where is your confidence
    Jealousy

        Jealousy
        The crazy train's set to leave
        You take to the tracks
        Before you digest what you see
        Reaching conclusions
        That only you heed
        You need to take a back seat
        *Jealousy

i watched you dance
in the middle of the neon lit room
and as much as i loved you
i could not help but feel envious.
there was jealousy i could have sworn would **** me
jealousy for the way you could
move your body to the beats of youthfulness
jealousy for the way you could
smile and laugh with slightly drunken people
you didn't even know
jealousy for your confidence in the restless crowds
jealousy for the way you acted so carelessly on friday nights
the way i wish i could

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
Lock these feelings in a cage
I'll rend and tear and rip you apart
My rage is sweet and my envy's ****

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
I'll **** you horribly in my craze
I'll drink your bones and chew your blood
My rage is voracious but my envy's good

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
I'll sprinkle my hatred with a bit of sage
I'll spice up my envy to be bitter hot
My rage is content but the envy's not

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
This isn't just a passing phase
I'm off in the deep end, I've lost my mind
My jealous rage is one of a kind.

Thinking About …Jealousy

I don’t sense envy in me -
But sense jealousy
Given the right (or always wrong) occasion
Why?
The past disloyalties?
A guilt? The lies?
A deep and hidden narcissism?
Is it them that I surmise?

A sickly need to own –
To call someone my own
When I, in fact have known
That no one, nothing is my own?

Does it begin in fantasy?
One asks the question
Wherefrom, why from
Comes that special gallery
Of idle fancy?

If the simile is ‘green’ with envy,
What then color jealousy?
Red, brown, orange, pink or blue?
Perhaps there is no hue
In color’s range
To chronicle that landscape and its danger!

Thus adding one more deadly sin
To slot into the other seven:
Is it…could they be akin
To chilling, killing, love destroying jealousy?

Thinking About…Jealousy 9.18.2016
Pure Nakedness;
Arlene Corwin

We're all told to be careful
It's been known to break some hearts
In the mad rush to be helpful
The jealousy of love

It'll slip up on you in a frenzy
Ripping out your foolish heart
When you least expect you have the need
The jealousy of love

How many times have you been warned
Far more often than not
And yet here you are back at the door
The jealousy of love

Like a fruit, forbidden you
Bitter to the tongue
As it sits in wait to make its move
The jealousy of love

Caught up in the dilemma
Do you stay or move along
With no one the clear winner
The jealousy of love

I watch the chatter of long time friends
The jealousy's blooming
It will never end
The thing that's always been there that refuses to let go
This ***** named jealousy is the only friend I know.

Obviously he's more successful cause everyone supports what he does
And me I'm sitting here in jealousy and envy just cause because
Be happy be happy cause you have everything you need
While i sit here with jealousy envy and greed

Sweet envy,
I'm envious of how she was blessed by the gods to have looked into your eyes, eye to eye. To study their color and watch how they look when you lie.
She knows the way you blink and how you close them when you sleep at night.
I hate thinking how you've both spent some nights.
The thought of her taking granted of breathing the same air as you boils my blood.
I'm jealous of how she was able to graze her fingers upon your skin, let them travel across your back
and how her hand once held yours... only to foolishly, finally and thankfully let them go.
I curse and bless the day she broke your heart.
I curse each day that I have to live with this jealousy.

Holy jealousy,
I'm jealous of the kind of jealousy you've made her feel, like when you would glance at another girl when you're together.
Or how you'd talk to a girl in a cafe or bookstore when you thought she wasn't looking over her shoulder.
Or how you'd talk to anyone about anything at all without uttering her name.
I'm jealous of how you two probably used to stand across each other in a room and throw blames.
I could imagine countless of scenarios but then
I also imagine I'm the one feeling that too.
I can take that any day, as long as we're together too.
Because the only jealousy I feel is jealousy of your past. This fiery envy towards your history.

****** history,
I'm reading into every words you said like memoirs and piecing every excerpt trying to look for answers. Answer as to how and whyㅡhow she broke your heart and why she did it.
Would you change a thing about everything you did?
I ask and scream these questions to the moonlight.
Yet if you tell me and show me the answers yourself, there's not a single battle that I would win and fight.
Yet I search for clues in every old photo, in every message and through my sly, secret ways.
Must I scour every corner and highway?
So I can come up with answers to my own 'how and why'? How can I mend your broken heart?
Why do I love you this much?

Because above all, I am a revolutionary.
I acknowledge my envy, work through my jealousy and respect your history.
But then again, with every dark history comes the need for revolution and change.
And I am the catalyst who will spearhead that game.
I am your new age.
I am your renaissance.
I am your vengeance, nirvana, revolution and everything at once.

She reaches for him, but he turns away, or at least it always feels that way.
She feels so lonely every day, never knowing what to say.
What to say to him to make him understand, all she wants to do is hold his hand.
To be the one that he kisses goodnight, the one that he loves with all his might.
But she knows that no matter what she could say, he is still looking at the other girl that way.
She’s starting to turn green in the brain, jealousy brings nothing but pain.
She wishes she felt different, that she could be a better friend, but that little green monster seems to be around every bend.
She’s so hurt, lost, and terribly confused; she has no clue what else to do.
Her head keeps telling her she’s who he needs, now that jealousy has started mixing with greed.
She wants to keep him for herself, he doesn’t need that other girl, she wishes she could help.
But the simple truth is she’s only making it worse, her jealousy has gotten the best of her.
Now if only I could see, this jealousy has made a mess of me.
This was never who I wanted to be, but that little green monster has me under lock and key.
I try to run away, I try to hide, but that monster has gotten inside, and now there is no way I could flee.
I’ve become a monster, the monster is me.

What has me?
Jealousy
Jealousy ruins
Everything.

I am jealousy you bestfriend,
Your ex.

How can I learn how to cope?
I cope by telling you.
How do you respond?
Your jealous of Erica?

It didn't help me one bit.
In fact it made it all worse.
Why?
Trying to cope now.
No help by you.
The one I love.

Jealousy
A silent rage that flows within me
It stings and burns on the inside
But the outter is not affected.

Jealousy
Is an act of self destruction
Wanting to give up what you
once desired, loved, and cared for
To have something you don't
Actually know you want.

I close my eyes and imagine
Without Jealousy
Without Envy
Wouldn't life be easier?
To just be happy with what I've got.

At morning I begin to feel
At night I begin to think
My heart starts to drown
My life starts to sink

I get images in my head
Confusion I cannot define
Jealousy ruining my life
Wanting you all mine

At morning I begin to think
At night I begin to feel
Are you really mine?
Is this fake or is this real?

I just don't understand
Why you could love me
A girl so deeply insecure
In a world of  jealousy

People say
That jealousy is a female trait
I beg to differ
Everyone suffers from jealousy
Yes, I said “suffers”
Because jealousy is not a female trait
It is a disease
Wanting to have what someone else has
Wanting to look like someone else
Feeling threatened by someone
Experiencing uncertainty
Those are diseases

Jealousy, the venomous and deceptive emotion.
The mountainous trouble, the worry gone through,
to get to this height, then see it claimed as untrue.
The force of jealousy, can overpower most minds,
it takes hold of desire, and leads thoughts askew,
until believing wrong, is the right thing to do.

A sudden jealousy a envious eye.
A voiceless pattern within this head of mine.
A vigilant figure, watchful eye.
A masked emotion on a blazing red sky.
I don't dare voice my thoughts because they are of scorn, my inside twist scary storms.
A feeling, a urge to should, a voice so broken to see her stripped but to me she does not belong so i numb this pain till i see it rain away.

Can you see it coming
Sprouting through the buried soil
From the seed you unknowingly sow

Can you catch it as it grow
Spreading tender leaves green
Feeding on your sinister thoughts

Can you nip it off, can you?
before the sapling gains ground
Jealousy... Spreading its roots

Jealousy is a sad thing to go through.
I can't go see him without feeling
Awkward since I'm not
His student anymore nor
Do I feel like I'm
As special cause
He has others
In my
Place.

I wish I were yours again.
It's a terrible feeling,
Jealousy.

jealousy is emotion playing with your mind
playing with your thoughts making them unkind
putting you in temper as it sets it trap
ready to explode  making your mind snap
changing you around from how you used to be
you feel hurt inside and jealousy you see
this is your emotions causing you to rage
you feel you are trapped locked up in a cage
its the same for everyone something we all know
given time to heal your jealousy will go

Jealousy

If I could be but a burning sun,
I'd scorch you with my wrath.
All your labour and all you loved
Would sizzle in my heat,
And turn into steam.

What I can't have,
Why should I let you keep?

If I was but an ocean blue,
I'd envelope you in my foam.
Grain by grain I'd wash away
The foundation of your home,
Claiming it for my own.

I need to breach your comfort
So I can have mine.

I need to pour onto you
Like torrential rain.
I need to chill you to the bone,
Like some haunted wind.
For you cannot, should not
Have that which I cannot reach.

You snatched it from under my nose,
And it kept screaming my name,
But you muffled its voice.
Your cruelty knows no end,
So now you'll taste mine
And I promise the pain won't fade.