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"inflected" poems
What is to come? 
 From a world where our children are given guns to play with, 
 It’s not the squirting of water,or release of plastic bullets, it’s the message we shoot into their heads . 
Triggering violence from adolescence.
Planting seeds of hate,
And watering them with spilled blood .
 Waiting for the fruit to ripen, but it never does,
 Now we have the taste of bitterness lingering on our mouths.
 That bitterness stays on our tongues ,
So that when we speak, that’s all that comes out.
 You see Somehow the fruit is never as sweet as when it’s forbidden.
 Sugared by sin,
 Borrowed from thy neighbor, because when it’s sin there’s always enough to go around. What is to come?
 From a world where we are told to express ourselves , but within the guidelines.
 Told that the world is your canvas , but restricted to only the color white. 
It isn’t as pure as it seems.
 Underneath the white paint lies splashes of read , gushing from a black body.
 There is no canvas, all we are given is a painted picture, of what perfect looks like. 
So that we Erase anything that doesn’t fit the image. 
 The slightest difference is reason for war. 
Be it the quantity of melanin
 Be it religion
 Be it Gender. What is to come?
 Of a world that is only tolerable through the shade of intoxication .
Where pills serve as capsules of happiness 
 We are our biggest enemy, 
Our pain is self inflected. If this is what it is ,to be human 
 What is the cure?
0
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 11:09 PM UTC
50 shades of truth.
What is to come? 
 From a world where our children are given guns to play with, 
 It’s not the squirting of water,or release of plastic bullets, it’s the message we shoot into their heads . 
Triggering violence from adolescence.
Planting seeds of hate,
And watering them with spilled blood .
 Waiting for the fruit to ripen, but it never does,
 Now we have the taste of bitterness lingering on our mouths.
 That bitterness stays on our tongues ,
So that when we speak, that’s all that comes out.
 You see Somehow the fruit is never as sweet as when it’s forbidden.
 Sugared by sin,
 Borrowed from thy neighbor, because when it’s sin there’s always enough to go around. What is to come?
 From a world where we are told to express ourselves , but within the guidelines.
 Told that the world is your canvas , but restricted to only the color white. 
It isn’t as pure as it seems.
 Underneath the white paint lies splashes of read , gushing from a black body.
 There is no canvas, all we are given is a painted picture, of what perfect looks like. 
So that we Erase anything that doesn’t fit the image. 
 The slightest difference is reason for war. 
Be it the quantity of melanin
 Be it religion
 Be it Gender. What is to come?
 Of a world that is only tolerable through the shade of intoxication .
Where pills serve as capsules of happiness 
 We are our biggest enemy, 
Our pain is self inflected. If this is what it is ,to be human 
 What is the cure?
Continue reading...
27
I sit outside the jail house, this Sunday afternoon. I watch the parade of people, going in and out so soon. The visits here, come and gone. Time swiftly passes on. The sadness shows on each face for the one which they belong. The mother walks with their child, quietly through the door To see a father not coming home, for many days or more. They sit and wait so patiently for their short time to be For twenty minutes on the phone, their “daddy” they will see. So close are they but yet so far, no touching through the pane. Fingers spread, hearts are breaking, their future down the drain. The question on the little lips, will daddy come home now? Soon, we hope, my dear child, maybe next week, somehow. The parents come to visit him, with thoughts of shattered dreams. The hopes they had for many years, are gone, so it seems. They put on a smile, push back fears, to keep alive some hope. They wonder “why, what went wrong, how will we ever cope?” The pain inflected, bad decisions, when drugs have taken hold. Ruined lives of those around them, the broken promise told. His family grieves the senselessness, of life’s potential lost. Hope now seems a fleeting dream, the family pays the cost. Then comes a chance from the judge, “six months” he did say. “To turn your life around for those who care for you, today. A broken promise turns months to years, so get it right this time. Don’t let them down, keep hope alive, as from this hole you climb.” A broken life, a shattered dream, seems lost in the eyes of man. When darkness falls, and hope is gone, when all has hit the fan. God can mend the broken life, He turns darkness into light. Forgiveness comes to those who ask, through grace and mercy’s might. For those who choose to dream a dream of a better life to see. Those who choose to change their hearts, the chains fall off, they’re free. They turn their back and walk away from the old life to sever. Redemption is a choice away, where lives are changed forever.
0
Jun 27, 2010
Jun 27, 2010 at 6:38 PM UTC
Jail (Redemption)
I sit outside the jail house, this Sunday afternoon. I watch the parade of people, going in and out so soon. The visits here, come and gone. Time swiftly passes on. The sadness shows on each face for the one which they belong. The mother walks with their child, quietly through the door To see a father not coming home, for many days or more. They sit and wait so patiently for their short time to be For twenty minutes on the phone, their “daddy” they will see. So close are they but yet so far, no touching through the pane. Fingers spread, hearts are breaking, their future down the drain. The question on the little lips, will daddy come home now? Soon, we hope, my dear child, maybe next week, somehow. The parents come to visit him, with thoughts of shattered dreams. The hopes they had for many years, are gone, so it seems. They put on a smile, push back fears, to keep alive some hope. They wonder “why, what went wrong, how will we ever cope?” The pain inflected, bad decisions, when drugs have taken hold. Ruined lives of those around them, the broken promise told. His family grieves the senselessness, of life’s potential lost. Hope now seems a fleeting dream, the family pays the cost. Then comes a chance from the judge, “six months” he did say. “To turn your life around for those who care for you, today. A broken promise turns months to years, so get it right this time. Don’t let them down, keep hope alive, as from this hole you climb.” A broken life, a shattered dream, seems lost in the eyes of man. When darkness falls, and hope is gone, when all has hit the fan. God can mend the broken life, He turns darkness into light. Forgiveness comes to those who ask, through grace and mercy’s might. For those who choose to dream a dream of a better life to see. Those who choose to change their hearts, the chains fall off, they’re free. They turn their back and walk away from the old life to sever. Redemption is a choice away, where lives are changed forever.
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32
the heroes of those action movies from the 80s and 90s always looked so much cooler with their split lips and bloodied noses than i ever could as they faced off against the villain    of the piece bruised and aching they would struggle on regardless of pain their success set back but inevitable nonetheless to be honest i would love to see one of those heroes try to overcome the villain    of my peace i've had plenty of nose bleeds through the years but most of them self-inflected
0
Aug 30, 2023
Aug 30, 2023 at 9:54 AM UTC
one of those heroes
I don't feel it, You say. And, pray tell her name, my sir, that i may find she thee and prithee Bear me off to southern sounds, fallow fields, an altar ground, a garland rope of singing springtime snows. this may be more than i can--;;                         YOU                         ARE                         NOT                         WOR                         THW                         HILE and i had such an awful dream last night-- you said, Bronwen, my love; and i could not sweep her hair from the floorboards beneath which you hid your ***** mags from mice. because you tell me about it.                                                                           WHOAM? you speak of gOd like dOgs & i am worthless coinage in the sewers. the sewers find my dress still hanging from your bones. your bones your bones your piano finger bones kiss me again until my lips swell my throat bleeds i do not want you to know how much i crawl spiderlike through the trails of hair in the drain as the autumn leaves the summer leaves the spring buds freeze over hell i am not i am not listening pan-drum please let me say this one last thing:; he is your accordion player the ***** player man who speaks fluent french and inflected english he is your accordion player on the pipes----- and you say i do not feel and i reply, this is too bad too late, chuckle replay as your fantasy walks through the door my team my team she is porcelain lovely see the perfume in your synesthesia colorblind goat footed grandiose Cesar with epilepsy she is your dream she is she is she is! &meanwhile; the trumpet in soul still plays solfeggio--- 1 2 le 3 4 1 2 le 3---1 2 le 3 4 1 3--le 1 le 3 le 1 she is the discord of the seventh in the tenor line she is membranes she is rain she is towels                       LEIGH **** IT if only if only you weren't so lonely i might call you mine and bring you back homely. IF ONLY-----Charles weren't so busy while you stare at silver spoons and cherub smiles and cupid calls you home again.
0
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 1:37 AM UTC
stream of conscious, midnight thirty
I don't feel it, You say. And, pray tell her name, my sir, that i may find she thee and prithee Bear me off to southern sounds, fallow fields, an altar ground, a garland rope of singing springtime snows. this may be more than i can--;;                         YOU                         ARE                         NOT                         WOR                         THW                         HILE and i had such an awful dream last night-- you said, Bronwen, my love; and i could not sweep her hair from the floorboards beneath which you hid your ***** mags from mice. because you tell me about it.                                                                           WHOAM? you speak of gOd like dOgs & i am worthless coinage in the sewers. the sewers find my dress still hanging from your bones. your bones your bones your piano finger bones kiss me again until my lips swell my throat bleeds i do not want you to know how much i crawl spiderlike through the trails of hair in the drain as the autumn leaves the summer leaves the spring buds freeze over hell i am not i am not listening pan-drum please let me say this one last thing:; he is your accordion player the ***** player man who speaks fluent french and inflected english he is your accordion player on the pipes----- and you say i do not feel and i reply, this is too bad too late, chuckle replay as your fantasy walks through the door my team my team she is porcelain lovely see the perfume in your synesthesia colorblind goat footed grandiose Cesar with epilepsy she is your dream she is she is she is! &meanwhile; the trumpet in soul still plays solfeggio--- 1 2 le 3 4 1 2 le 3---1 2 le 3 4 1 3--le 1 le 3 le 1 she is the discord of the seventh in the tenor line she is membranes she is rain she is towels                       LEIGH **** IT if only if only you weren't so lonely i might call you mine and bring you back homely. IF ONLY-----Charles weren't so busy while you stare at silver spoons and cherub smiles and cupid calls you home again.
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34
You ever think about how shallow some people are? So shallow that if you stepped in a puddle of them your feet would still be dry The people who aim to do things, maybe even great things just to impress or gratify someone To put someone down To make up for some kind of weakness To prove others wrong Those who create this image of themselves that appeases others perception of them Money Material things Cars Planes Designer clothes Gizmos and gadgets Things that don't mean anything more than a look see to anyone of real depth You know depth? To appreciate everything you're lucky enough to have or gain To understand the little things and the bigger picture To have been through hardships and learned from them Empathy Patience Passion Creativity Selflessness Respect Depth But then, there is something worse than being shallow Hollow To be empty of anything No desires No pleasure Just numb hopelessness The ones who have been hurt and just couldn't get back up And fill the void with either drugs, things of only monetary value or self-inflected lashings of pity, loathing and mistrust They look at the ones with depth and see them as idiotic idealists with no direction or any idea what it means to be part of a normal society They look at the shallow ones and see great figures of wealthy stature Exciting lives being lead by beautiful elitists
0
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
But What Does That All Really Mean?
Angelic demons Loaded with hives Of violence and blood A rash of tribes Infected Dissected Inflected with sin Built to lose Broken to win God is with us In the end To the darkness We descend This job is not ours We did it for hours Brick by brick We built a wall And then the third took a fall We were on the rack Never going back On the rack Never going back Exit hell Don't pass go Paid in blood Real slow We saw red Thousands dead Needed a sacrifice Something to gain So they wouldn't be in pain We fought in vain Nothing but vanity Murderous sanity Forgive me father For diminishing this sanctity That you helped create They pricked our lips I poisoned the state This fear means they won Every victory They gain unamerican sone They are on the rack We are back On the rack We are back Back to hell Where the blood swells With good intentions And no dissension Security not guaranteed If we are freed We have no hope no will Just buckets of pain and swill Don't fight for the right Fight for the pain Fight for the fallen and the slain Send them in pieces to their maker Until you to are a husk A baker Of suffering and pain Of bodies lain Down in the name of hate Our appetites will not sate We will not satisfy Until that desert is spread Over the whole globe We will only testify Of the strobe Of ashes and ashes Dust to dust These beliefs we once held Sharpened with rust Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down
0
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC
The Unholy Sorts of Angels
Angelic demons Loaded with hives Of violence and blood A rash of tribes Infected Dissected Inflected with sin Built to lose Broken to win God is with us In the end To the darkness We descend This job is not ours We did it for hours Brick by brick We built a wall And then the third took a fall We were on the rack Never going back On the rack Never going back Exit hell Don't pass go Paid in blood Real slow We saw red Thousands dead Needed a sacrifice Something to gain So they wouldn't be in pain We fought in vain Nothing but vanity Murderous sanity Forgive me father For diminishing this sanctity That you helped create They pricked our lips I poisoned the state This fear means they won Every victory They gain unamerican sone They are on the rack We are back On the rack We are back Back to hell Where the blood swells With good intentions And no dissension Security not guaranteed If we are freed We have no hope no will Just buckets of pain and swill Don't fight for the right Fight for the pain Fight for the fallen and the slain Send them in pieces to their maker Until you to are a husk A baker Of suffering and pain Of bodies lain Down in the name of hate Our appetites will not sate We will not satisfy Until that desert is spread Over the whole globe We will only testify Of the strobe Of ashes and ashes Dust to dust These beliefs we once held Sharpened with rust Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down Burn it down
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81
They say, that nothing you do is of much significance, there's nothing you'll do that is of much importance, but the small impact you make, you have to do. They say, That your finger prints are permanent, on someones life when you grab hold. no matter how meek, you leave your mark on their crime scene. They say, that love conquers all. Your knight in shining armor will save you. A young little pretty woman will love you for you and nurture  you, until together you die, on a warm day in bed together, to continue your lives in eternity, in blissful peace. They never say the truth. The story of how we just so happen to be here. How the only difference betwixt us and an animal is that we escaped natures food chain, and have made our own controlled by pieces of paper and fat pigs congratulating eachother over brandy and illegal drugs on wall street feeding on our developed Darwinist society. They never say How no matter what you'll do your efforts are deleted months after your enviable death. Self inflected or other wise. So why do we value our fingerprint lives so dearly?
0
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 3:17 PM UTC
Fingerprint lives
He found himself with painted walls, fish tanks, and a wiener dog.  A place to sleep, a place to eat, a fine couch to rest his feet.  A barbecue that was sturdy and new, a fridge of craft beer the finest of brew.  But aside all the comforts and things on the walls the one thing that was most comforting of all, was a little blonde who would follow him around, who turned him right-side up when he was upside down.  A girl who was worried about only him; and tried everything to set him free.  Free of a troubled mind that could not find the time for anyone but him.  No matter her struggle, her talks, or her love, he would not cave to all the above.  It came to the point where she had to go, she'd lost the person she loved the most. She left in a blink with her head in the fog, taking the pictures, fish tanks, and the wiener dog. The girl that knew him oh so well could not save him from an imprisoned hell.  The self-inflected wound that would not mend; but conform as the standard of life he led.  A blank canvas is all that he knew, no pictures on the walls, no new barbecue.  No more snoring at night or meeting for fun, this fairy tale was finally done.  It passed so fast and looking back was it worth it for where he's at? Is this the place where he should be?  Two job's, school, and a shattered dream. She was his love, his hope, his home, and now it's just him all alone.
0
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 4:11 PM UTC
Sheepy Nights
Sometime, I'll have a dream A dream in which I'll be engaging in *** With the loose folds of skin and cellulite Around Maya Angelou's neck I use the word engage b/c I don't think It'll be my idea or if I would even want to be a completely willing Participant You know how dreams go: You're able to detach So anyway, all the while she'll be reciting her verse In that overly inflected, pretentious and annoying grandmotherly Huxtable Tone she uses and Right as the nauseousness becomes unbearable And I fear I won't be able to keep the contents of my Stomach from forcing itself out and onto her face She starts to devour the entirety of my lower abdomen The sickness I was feeling quickly dissipating and the Realization that she's no longer speaking and merely Gnashing, ripping and eating my viscera I return to an almost homeostasis A comfortableness Copyright © 2009-Present
0
May 14, 2011
May 14, 2011 at 8:39 PM UTC
Aghast at Angelou
There Are So Many Things I Can Say To You, To Try To Make It Right, But Nothing Really Can, I'm Sorry I Hurt You, But I Can't Erase The Past, I'm Sorry You Didn't Hear It From Me, But This Wound Was Made, Long Before I Was In Love With You, It Was A Mistake, It Really Was, I Believed A Lie, And The Outcome Still Haunts Me Today... I'm Sorry That You Are Mad At Me, I'll Try To Give You Some Space, I'm Sorry That I Cant Take Away, The Heartbreak Which I Gave To You, If I Could I Would, Because I Have Never Loved Anyone More, I Am So So Sorry I Let You Down... I'm Sorry Because I Saw Those Tears In Your Eyes, I Knew You Didn't Want To Believe, I Know, I'm So Sorry I Let Your Hope Down, I'm So Sorry, I Crushed Your Loyal Heart.... I Have Never Been Unfaithful To You, Please Believe That, I Never Intended To Hurt You, I Didnt Try To Keep It A Secret, Because I Was A Liar, I Kept It From You Because I Didn't Want, To Talk About It, I Didn't Want To Feel That Pain Again, To See The Hurt I Have Inflected On You, I Wanted To Move On, Because He Was My Yesterday, And You Are My Today, And I Really Hope, With All My Heart, You Will Choose To Be My Tomorrow....
0
Sep 27, 2012
Sep 27, 2012 at 8:11 PM UTC
I'm Sorry
Betrayal is not just a stab in the back It’s a slap in the face In public How? Why would someone do that to another person? It feels like someone stabbed you in the back Fixed the wound Then stabbed it again Just so they could enjoy watching the pain Themselves Knowing they inflected it themselves Betrayal causes scars Scars that can never go away The wound may heal The scar will always be that reminder Of who did this to you But how could someone do this to you Some people give with all their heart May care with all their heart But in the end their heart has a scar And they get hurt he most From the betrayal They may change forever So before you betray someone Stop And Think You could change a kind hearted person forever And yourself will never know what if? What if I do this? How will it affect the other person You might just leave a scar forever But you’ll never know Unless you do the right thing to begin with Every action has an opposite reaction You never know what will happen When you leave a scar in someone heart Every betrayal begins with trust. Maybe you can’t trust this person You trust and you may loose But now you know one thing THE TRUTH -Copyright Sam Schemmel
0
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014 at 10:23 AM UTC
Betrayal
Everyone has their daily struggles But with depression it's more than doubled I rise each day to face the sun But a part of me just wants to run To hide away and lock the door Or **** someone and settle the score The wounds inflected on me I can not hide You can see them all plainly on every side They are apart of me, inside and out I've been prey to many, and my trophy head they mount In their memory of victims, I'm another count They did it slow, they took their time, in no hurry Then sent me off to the f**king taxidermy They cleaned me up and stuff in the saw dust But all you see standing before you, is just my crust.
0
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 18, 2016 at 5:14 PM UTC
Taxidermy
A dream in which I'll be engaging in *** With the loose folds of skin and cellulite around Maya Angelou's neck I use the word engage b/c I don't think It'll be  my idea or if I would even want to be a completely willing Participant You know how dreams go: you're able to detach So anyway, all the while she'll be reciting her verse In that overly inflected, pretentious and annoying grandmotherly Huxtable Tone she uses and Right as the nauseousness becomes unbearable And I fear I won't be able to keep the contents of my Stomach from forcing itself out and onto her face She starts to devour the entirety of my lower abdomen The sickness I was feeling quickly dissipating and the Realization that she's no longer speaking and merely Gnashing, ripping and eating my viscera I return to an almost homeostasis A comfortableness Damon Michael Garrett Copyright © 1972-Present
0
Mar 16, 2010
Mar 16, 2010 at 6:39 PM UTC
Angelou Aghast
Everyone has there daily struggles But with depression it's more than doubled I rise each day to face the sun But a part of me just wants to run To hide away and lock the door Or **** someone and settle the score The wounds inflected on me I can not hide You can see them all plainly on every side They are apart of me, inside and out I've been prey to many, and my trophy head they mount In their memory of victims, I'm another count They did it slow, they took their time, in no hurry Then sent me off to the ******* taxidermy They cleaned me up and stuff in the saw dust But all you see standing before you, is just my crust.
0
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 8:09 PM UTC
Send Me to the Taxidermy
Our interpretation of time is only backed by the ego of our arrogance as if we alone could master the infinite mysteries of the stars and chain them to the definition of the dot to dot constellations of our limited imaginations then trap the sands of time to gears and springs and strap it to our brittle wrists as we crown ourselves the children of a grand designer who sculpted our flesh alone in “HIS” most holly image we know nothing of the things we pretend to know as the flaw of our intelligence is that it is self designed we are non the better than the creatures we share this planet with other than we deny ourselves the simple pleasures of howling at the moon or singing with the sunrise or laying on the surface and in the silence of the moonlight shimmering over the still waters of a pond we make noise when it is unnecessary and keep silent when we should speak out as the devil in our deeds is in every detail of the cruelty we have spread out through history sometimes in the name of god and sometimes in the name of country and in the times of our most overindulgent hypocrisy in the name of both as we have dived ourselves by imaginary lines drawn in the sand we believe we have trapped and strapped to our brittle wrists as if time is only on our side moving in one direction playing by our rules shaped by the god we created to bless us for our self inflected and self indulgent sins because it is easier to blame the devil for the all fruit we steal and horde but the devil is only real in the crimes committed by the blood we have running in our veins and the blood we spill to feed the fear and hatred of fables and myths too old for anyone to remember written in languages no one has ever spoken or heard all the while we ignore the simplest of facts that when we have gone too far dropped one too many bombs let one too many bullets soar that when fear and hate swallows the last of us whole that time will march on without us and that all in all all we have strapped to our brittle wrists is nothing more than our meaningless egos
0
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 11:11 AM UTC
follies of our ego
Our interpretation of time is only backed by the ego of our arrogance as if we alone could master the infinite mysteries of the stars and chain them to the definition of the dot to dot constellations of our limited imaginations then trap the sands of time to gears and springs and strap it to our brittle wrists as we crown ourselves the children of a grand designer who sculpted our flesh alone in “HIS” most holly image we know nothing of the things we pretend to know as the flaw of our intelligence is that it is self designed we are non the better than the creatures we share this planet with other than we deny ourselves the simple pleasures of howling at the moon or singing with the sunrise or laying on the surface and in the silence of the moonlight shimmering over the still waters of a pond we make noise when it is unnecessary and keep silent when we should speak out as the devil in our deeds is in every detail of the cruelty we have spread out through history sometimes in the name of god and sometimes in the name of country and in the times of our most overindulgent hypocrisy in the name of both as we have dived ourselves by imaginary lines drawn in the sand we believe we have trapped and strapped to our brittle wrists as if time is only on our side moving in one direction playing by our rules shaped by the god we created to bless us for our self inflected and self indulgent sins because it is easier to blame the devil for the all fruit we steal and horde but the devil is only real in the crimes committed by the blood we have running in our veins and the blood we spill to feed the fear and hatred of fables and myths too old for anyone to remember written in languages no one has ever spoken or heard all the while we ignore the simplest of facts that when we have gone too far dropped one too many bombs let one too many bullets soar that when fear and hate swallows the last of us whole that time will march on without us and that all in all all we have strapped to our brittle wrists is nothing more than our meaningless egos
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80
I didn't know I'd end up here again, especially so quickly after crashing. But yet again, my heart is an unexpected, fickle thing. My hair is ***** just like my hands, for I have as much pain and blood on my fingertips as has been inflected upon my heart. Funny how a small little girl from Wonderland can cause so much pain. Innocence was once on my lips, but then the world killed my brother, and then the Jabberwocky came to play. But where are my manners? Let me invite you to tea, buy you your last meal before I ravage your body with my teeth and claws and words and terrify you when my green eyes before blood-red with the splattering of you. I hate to make people forgettable, so trust me, it'll be a night to remember. The demons inside come out to play at night, when my defenses are weak, talking of death so easily, when I know I don't have a heart for killing. I only have a heart for destruction and dismemberment of hearts and minds, not lives. Grace was once so little and pure and kind, but the second blood red graced her sibling's lips, it was over. The monster had come to reside in her. Red, green, the colors of my heart. Funnily enough, also the colors of Christmas. Didn't know generosity would share the same colors as my envious, greedy, ****** heart. I am not a fan of myself in the darkness. Perhaps because I see in the nothing a reflection of my own shadows. Go to bed, dear Grace, before the monster inside eats you. **** you, Jabberwocky, and all your tricks. No one comes back from Wonderland without a tad bit of baggage. Don't beware the darkness, beware thyself. Goodnight.
0
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 3:16 AM UTC
Insomnia pt. 3
I didn't know I'd end up here again, especially so quickly after crashing. But yet again, my heart is an unexpected, fickle thing. My hair is ***** just like my hands, for I have as much pain and blood on my fingertips as has been inflected upon my heart. Funny how a small little girl from Wonderland can cause so much pain. Innocence was once on my lips, but then the world killed my brother, and then the Jabberwocky came to play. But where are my manners? Let me invite you to tea, buy you your last meal before I ravage your body with my teeth and claws and words and terrify you when my green eyes before blood-red with the splattering of you. I hate to make people forgettable, so trust me, it'll be a night to remember. The demons inside come out to play at night, when my defenses are weak, talking of death so easily, when I know I don't have a heart for killing. I only have a heart for destruction and dismemberment of hearts and minds, not lives. Grace was once so little and pure and kind, but the second blood red graced her sibling's lips, it was over. The monster had come to reside in her. Red, green, the colors of my heart. Funnily enough, also the colors of Christmas. Didn't know generosity would share the same colors as my envious, greedy, ****** heart. I am not a fan of myself in the darkness. Perhaps because I see in the nothing a reflection of my own shadows. Go to bed, dear Grace, before the monster inside eats you. **** you, Jabberwocky, and all your tricks. No one comes back from Wonderland without a tad bit of baggage. Don't beware the darkness, beware thyself. Goodnight.
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11
Convex curvature, female caricature In the shiny polished upper side resides my reflection Up left, roses would strive To derive right ***** from the Unparsimonious point of inflection And what inflection! Phrasing inflected Sings songs well affected By the erratic gliding Of ********* chiding The inopportune haste of Her lover I, graced, sit down in bemusement: For nor does she bring just a Knickknack's amusement Nor do I lug A source of apologies Instead our duality slates Juxtaposition As the most redundant of tautologies.
0
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 4:29 PM UTC
She who never left me had Six
Seemingly precise yet akimbo Inflected glares bend windows Directly begin kin in skin We sin again. Yours is mine redefined More blessed so unaligned. Sight delight our kindled spite Adjourn loops and dash hopes Love longs its wrong devotes. A myriad making way Unelectric secrete display Rolling sheets tumbling say Let fluid fly demon's prey. Loping along Coping strong Moaning songs Rejoicing our way The way to Much.
0
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013 at 7:29 PM UTC
The Way to Much
I knew how I've felt and its not your fault... You did love me best, but I thought all wrong. I didn't have faith enough to believe- you'd really do all you've promised me. I didn't know the magnitude of your feeling for me, nor could Imagine someone like you can really want to be with me. Forever you'd say & I never understood, couldn't fathom it, not after all the bitterness in my life. Someone like you whose always looking at the positives, where I've only focused on the negatives. I didn't know that you'd show me all the possibilities there was to being loved so completely! My hurt consumed me, I never saw you, not in the way you've needed me to. Too consumed in my own bitter resentments to reflect on the agony being inflected upon you so much so, that I've dissipated whatever it were we could of be and had! All I could do was hoard the love you've given, selfishly cling to it and store it away. Never did I allow myself to return the favors of your endearments, I wasn't able to, my blindness and hurtful neglect wouldn't allow me to cave in. You knew, I came broken, confused, lonely & so used knew too, I'd been dealt poorly & left beaten, bruised inside, well as out, I couldn't risk another let down or set back. My mind, nor my heart wouldn't be persuaded, I allowed my body to feed off your energy, allowed you to manifest within my flowery walls a safe heaven of ****** bliss. While I was retaining the very best parts of ME - away ..... Away from your longing soul and your beautiful wondrous heart. I didn't know how to let go of my past, I didn't understand the beauty of all that you possessed, someone like you wanted me for everything that I am, good, bad & the very worst parts of me. You didn't worry, long as you had me all the fibers of my being-- "He" ie (YOU) only wished to see me happy, in love and by your side. I can't blame you for letting go, I can't forget all the good times and memories we've shared. It may just be too late, yet I'd like to think one day, maybe next lifetime perhaps..... For now I'll say, how very sorry I am because even as the words left your lips, I failed to agree or really understand. Truth be told it couldn't be help. So I hope you'll forgive me, for I truly, wholeheartedly, honestly, mournfully - apologetically Didn't Know! Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®          K.A.C.L.N ©      All right reserved ® Copyright 1977 - Present
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 10:50 PM UTC
DIDN'T KNOW!!!
I knew how I've felt and its not your fault... You did love me best, but I thought all wrong. I didn't have faith enough to believe- you'd really do all you've promised me. I didn't know the magnitude of your feeling for me, nor could Imagine someone like you can really want to be with me. Forever you'd say & I never understood, couldn't fathom it, not after all the bitterness in my life. Someone like you whose always looking at the positives, where I've only focused on the negatives. I didn't know that you'd show me all the possibilities there was to being loved so completely! My hurt consumed me, I never saw you, not in the way you've needed me to. Too consumed in my own bitter resentments to reflect on the agony being inflected upon you so much so, that I've dissipated whatever it were we could of be and had! All I could do was hoard the love you've given, selfishly cling to it and store it away. Never did I allow myself to return the favors of your endearments, I wasn't able to, my blindness and hurtful neglect wouldn't allow me to cave in. You knew, I came broken, confused, lonely & so used knew too, I'd been dealt poorly & left beaten, bruised inside, well as out, I couldn't risk another let down or set back. My mind, nor my heart wouldn't be persuaded, I allowed my body to feed off your energy, allowed you to manifest within my flowery walls a safe heaven of ****** bliss. While I was retaining the very best parts of ME - away ..... Away from your longing soul and your beautiful wondrous heart. I didn't know how to let go of my past, I didn't understand the beauty of all that you possessed, someone like you wanted me for everything that I am, good, bad & the very worst parts of me. You didn't worry, long as you had me all the fibers of my being-- "He" ie (YOU) only wished to see me happy, in love and by your side. I can't blame you for letting go, I can't forget all the good times and memories we've shared. It may just be too late, yet I'd like to think one day, maybe next lifetime perhaps..... For now I'll say, how very sorry I am because even as the words left your lips, I failed to agree or really understand. Truth be told it couldn't be help. So I hope you'll forgive me, for I truly, wholeheartedly, honestly, mournfully - apologetically Didn't Know! Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®          K.A.C.L.N ©      All right reserved ® Copyright 1977 - Present
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113
VII This is my end surely this is the end of it all all I know is here and though I am young this is the end of life as I know it now and soon I will see my home no more for this is my end here where I shelter from all I cannot think beyond this ending surely the end of all I know is here and will be gone (after a cine still from 1930 of a St Kllda woman) XVIIIa house above the hut of shadows holds itself against the relentless wind on so open a shore islands and inlets beyond reasonable number stand before its policies its promontory land Up on the third floor light fills every corner expelling its shadows to the hut held within its sight XVIIIb slowly the darkness reveals less than a shadow thrown against a plastered wall inside silenced from the wind an image grows as the eyes succumb to less than light used to looking Suggestion and the memory of outside supply the rest (two poems connected by Chris Drury’s Hut of Shadows on North Uist) XIX following footsteps crisp in the sand hour-fresh from tide-fall now the shadows form in the weight of press the imprint mark different with every fall of limb and claw the 3-pronged bird-foot the sandaled human step singular one before another after another until perspective conceals and merges into distant sand ** silence suddenly the ringed plovers hold their breath then chorus a chirping as they wade together in their own reflections the water like glass at their feet mirroring movement that light hop for a few steps onto a slight but sturdy island tweet then terweet inflected upwards a questioning call terweet? XX1 the taste of salt sea in the mouth the touch of water thick sea-water on the legs between toes the sharp cold plunge immersion envelopment sunlight throws a cascade of bright steps across the sea gradually merging into a band of light ablaze on the horizon at the base of distant Monarchs a silhouette of massed rock rises from the sea crowned by static clouds decorating the sky gentle white ermine-soft
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Oct 3, 2016
Oct 3, 2016 at 3:40 AM UTC
Sketches of Summer XVII - XXI
VII This is my end surely this is the end of it all all I know is here and though I am young this is the end of life as I know it now and soon I will see my home no more for this is my end here where I shelter from all I cannot think beyond this ending surely the end of all I know is here and will be gone (after a cine still from 1930 of a St Kllda woman) XVIIIa house above the hut of shadows holds itself against the relentless wind on so open a shore islands and inlets beyond reasonable number stand before its policies its promontory land Up on the third floor light fills every corner expelling its shadows to the hut held within its sight XVIIIb slowly the darkness reveals less than a shadow thrown against a plastered wall inside silenced from the wind an image grows as the eyes succumb to less than light used to looking Suggestion and the memory of outside supply the rest (two poems connected by Chris Drury’s Hut of Shadows on North Uist) XIX following footsteps crisp in the sand hour-fresh from tide-fall now the shadows form in the weight of press the imprint mark different with every fall of limb and claw the 3-pronged bird-foot the sandaled human step singular one before another after another until perspective conceals and merges into distant sand ** silence suddenly the ringed plovers hold their breath then chorus a chirping as they wade together in their own reflections the water like glass at their feet mirroring movement that light hop for a few steps onto a slight but sturdy island tweet then terweet inflected upwards a questioning call terweet? XX1 the taste of salt sea in the mouth the touch of water thick sea-water on the legs between toes the sharp cold plunge immersion envelopment sunlight throws a cascade of bright steps across the sea gradually merging into a band of light ablaze on the horizon at the base of distant Monarchs a silhouette of massed rock rises from the sea crowned by static clouds decorating the sky gentle white ermine-soft
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95
Somehow, I need to learn to strangle the insomniac, self-inflected, narcissistic monster. I feel you every god **** day in my fingers, in my bones, under my skin, thudding hard against my veins. You pour out so smooth in my words, and through any **** pen in my shaking hand. Do you think there’s any hope left in me? Any innocence spared? I’d count for the first, but the second’s a toughie. I’m sick of seeing the same thing when I close my eyes, and craving the same thing between my sheets. This train better stop soon, or if it’s crashed somewhere- somewhere deep, deep down in a place we’d both dare not visit again- do you wonder if the passengers survived, and who will appear when the smoke clears?
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Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 6:22 PM UTC
Trains & Veins.
trying  bad  knew  day  think  fight  feeling  know  annoying  lying  time  months  tell  like  sure  observe  afternoon  participant  folds  pass  iron  ask  realization  neck  conversation  pain  poetaster  tuesdays  busy  night  lung  sake  sickness  movies  gets  body  reason  turns  incessantly  awakens  doesnt  ones  lifes  gnashing  try  despondency   way  pretentious  idea  cellulite  strewn  years  fallen  finally  given  stomach  qualify  spectacle  necessary  watching  christ  harbinger  unconsciously  thing  girl  loose  walls  unbearable  start  reach  smile  needing  violent  mean  slowly  engage  engaging  cell  face  sung  struggle  tone  shes  song  cheaply  correct  contents  normally  quickly  asleep  close  plea  dark  personality  overly  devour  actions  viscera  completely  eating  list  attractive  liar  power  does  figured  use  morning  suffer   saving  shadowscasting  abdomen  leave  verse  sun  comfort  screaming  stay  lift  forcing  worthwhile  sleep  reciting  sets  written  broken  semismiled  dysthmically  movingriding  supp  uses  help  pieces  poorly  lied  reading  blunt  fine  returned  groups  refractory  fiber  eyes  read  word  puts  say  absorb  force  detach  message  unnoticed  died  block  clock  wish  possibly  late  aghast  fear  return  chum  caused  daily  involve  thanks  grandmotherly  hope  unheeded  twice  starve  maya  enthusiasm  heard  hunger  comfortableness  homeostasis   nauseousness  huxtable  inflected  angelous  angelou  itll  dissipating  impress  giving  lower  relent  articulate  poetry  doldrums  wise  left  alot  hate  cheeks  entirety  perceived  result  willing  mild  speaking  concedepretend  skin  alive  shell  death  tantamount  everytime  ripping  afloat  worth  adamisdronicus  succession  press  hang  jeanpaul  speak  dysthmic  means  dinner  dreams  sobriety  bones  repeatedly  ***  pang  bc  painted  reallythat
0
May 16, 2010
May 16, 2010 at 10:28 PM UTC
My Lifes Worth in Only So Many Words
trying  bad  knew  day  think  fight  feeling  know  annoying  lying  time  months  tell  like  sure  observe  afternoon  participant  folds  pass  iron  ask  realization  neck  conversation  pain  poetaster  tuesdays  busy  night  lung  sake  sickness  movies  gets  body  reason  turns  incessantly  awakens  doesnt  ones  lifes  gnashing  try  despondency   way  pretentious  idea  cellulite  strewn  years  fallen  finally  given  stomach  qualify  spectacle  necessary  watching  christ  harbinger  unconsciously  thing  girl  loose  walls  unbearable  start  reach  smile  needing  violent  mean  slowly  engage  engaging  cell  face  sung  struggle  tone  shes  song  cheaply  correct  contents  normally  quickly  asleep  close  plea  dark  personality  overly  devour  actions  viscera  completely  eating  list  attractive  liar  power  does  figured  use  morning  suffer   saving  shadowscasting  abdomen  leave  verse  sun  comfort  screaming  stay  lift  forcing  worthwhile  sleep  reciting  sets  written  broken  semismiled  dysthmically  movingriding  supp  uses  help  pieces  poorly  lied  reading  blunt  fine  returned  groups  refractory  fiber  eyes  read  word  puts  say  absorb  force  detach  message  unnoticed  died  block  clock  wish  possibly  late  aghast  fear  return  chum  caused  daily  involve  thanks  grandmotherly  hope  unheeded  twice  starve  maya  enthusiasm  heard  hunger  comfortableness  homeostasis   nauseousness  huxtable  inflected  angelous  angelou  itll  dissipating  impress  giving  lower  relent  articulate  poetry  doldrums  wise  left  alot  hate  cheeks  entirety  perceived  result  willing  mild  speaking  concedepretend  skin  alive  shell  death  tantamount  everytime  ripping  afloat  worth  adamisdronicus  succession  press  hang  jeanpaul  speak  dysthmic  means  dinner  dreams  sobriety  bones  repeatedly  ***  pang  bc  painted  reallythat
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4
I’m reading my dictionary with the pages missing Of all the words that I’d much rather be dismissing It’s much easier to ignore what’s been written To stop the queue of a page that’s already printing Listen Cause we live where we can rip anything out that we don’t like Take out words like bomb raids and hunger strike My dictionary might be a little lifelike It’s saying what I can and can’t do for a klondike unlike Sitting down and facing brown reality Taking very simple things making hyperbole To realize you might be a nobody Cause there’s nothing that life can guarantee Do you agree To be afraid of a word in a book is nonsense Maybe I don’t understand the context But is there really that much weighing on your conscious That reading is like consuming tons of toxins Word Everyone likes to tell me what I can and can’t say But I like to disobey and I say it anyway Any way that I can To get my point across Any way that I play with word play and words say how much you can weigh and can you be gay or can you horseplay on the Lord’s day and hey I take the highway As my getaway But the signs are on display on where I can turn and when should I yield And still the words reflect on my windshield but what’s in a word bird I hear bird’s the word But let me reword my password Cause it’s too simple To unlock the emotions of other people When they wear their heart on their sleeve Strung together with staples And it is a staple That I should be graceful And tasteful Not be wasteful of my words Cause that’s all I got and it seems I forgot to boycott the thought talk and just keep it to myself Because words are powerful And I am not And too often I hide behind them And finally I’m giving it a second thought
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Apr 7, 2017
Apr 7, 2017 at 2:11 AM UTC
Inflected Language
I’m reading my dictionary with the pages missing Of all the words that I’d much rather be dismissing It’s much easier to ignore what’s been written To stop the queue of a page that’s already printing Listen Cause we live where we can rip anything out that we don’t like Take out words like bomb raids and hunger strike My dictionary might be a little lifelike It’s saying what I can and can’t do for a klondike unlike Sitting down and facing brown reality Taking very simple things making hyperbole To realize you might be a nobody Cause there’s nothing that life can guarantee Do you agree To be afraid of a word in a book is nonsense Maybe I don’t understand the context But is there really that much weighing on your conscious That reading is like consuming tons of toxins Word Everyone likes to tell me what I can and can’t say But I like to disobey and I say it anyway Any way that I can To get my point across Any way that I play with word play and words say how much you can weigh and can you be gay or can you horseplay on the Lord’s day and hey I take the highway As my getaway But the signs are on display on where I can turn and when should I yield And still the words reflect on my windshield but what’s in a word bird I hear bird’s the word But let me reword my password Cause it’s too simple To unlock the emotions of other people When they wear their heart on their sleeve Strung together with staples And it is a staple That I should be graceful And tasteful Not be wasteful of my words Cause that’s all I got and it seems I forgot to boycott the thought talk and just keep it to myself Because words are powerful And I am not And too often I hide behind them And finally I’m giving it a second thought
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60
I speak to you in riddles A mismatch of half formed inflections and watered down complimentary words I constantly tailor my speech to try and fix the places you need patched Attempting stitches to fix the pools of pain lingering in the spaces between the freckles spanning your back, My fingers try to touch them away but my hands cant block the bruising spread beneath the plane of your skin. You’ve become one of those heartbeats I have to keep my eye on for fear it will scatter down the screen and never return, Your clothes are brightly colored, meant to weather the wind, but on your thin frame they trap you like wetted wool Making it impossible for you to leave the form you possessed in the past. I try different types of talking these days Leaving maps for you to find the thinly veiled meaning behind the paper kisses And the gold-leafed print floating inside the swirls of my lips The pads of my fingers try to score your jaw with reminders That the only thing hollow is the space between your neck and your chest And the words I whisper into your void is heavy with inflected subtext. I want to place your quilting back around your heart, Make your veins more insular to keep the warmth inside that instead trickles out through your hands and feet that never feel the sun, Your body temperature is constant and chills my intonations, I can’t give what you won’t take and every day its 20 degrees. I hope that in your desperation to forget the words you will better remember their meanings.
0
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 6:08 PM UTC
A Different Kind of Speaking
I speak to you in riddles A mismatch of half formed inflections and watered down complimentary words I constantly tailor my speech to try and fix the places you need patched Attempting stitches to fix the pools of pain lingering in the spaces between the freckles spanning your back, My fingers try to touch them away but my hands cant block the bruising spread beneath the plane of your skin. You’ve become one of those heartbeats I have to keep my eye on for fear it will scatter down the screen and never return, Your clothes are brightly colored, meant to weather the wind, but on your thin frame they trap you like wetted wool Making it impossible for you to leave the form you possessed in the past. I try different types of talking these days Leaving maps for you to find the thinly veiled meaning behind the paper kisses And the gold-leafed print floating inside the swirls of my lips The pads of my fingers try to score your jaw with reminders That the only thing hollow is the space between your neck and your chest And the words I whisper into your void is heavy with inflected subtext. I want to place your quilting back around your heart, Make your veins more insular to keep the warmth inside that instead trickles out through your hands and feet that never feel the sun, Your body temperature is constant and chills my intonations, I can’t give what you won’t take and every day its 20 degrees. I hope that in your desperation to forget the words you will better remember their meanings.
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19
A. drone this day empirical from where we were once the we rained from, a high excursion which savvy the drop, weighing in, a fault trying to convince the day when Sun embellished from the ravine of your hand, a catacomb secured by the rolling of your body like a boulder keeping a minute sacred, christened an evinced noon that was your repetitive finding. onto a netted frame caught, dripping out of a felt space in need for graphs to measure from, a well unnamed which presence resembling your body, resounding the fluency of what the physical ascribes an iamb of a crowd inverted, diminishing and inflected in a day's livid sigh housed in a jar that is a mouth words assemble an ikebana willing a delayed color that was a lack. held a device that was a sky or a gleaming face with a high price claiming a solstitial -- when I went to your home it was Saturday all week inside my ribcage chiming worship. plastered to a sheen all is equal underneath equatorial tracing a sphere when I found stroking the innards of a calendar it is November. it is Saturday. B.    he   comes  from    low  wattage this  night's  post    a wonderful polyp    to   begin  a    blight    apparently  so from a cut blackest gutter          carrying an ample   water  virulent              when  taken  in  and   again   in     a  savingslight  of     metamorphosis        climbs   vertical   so  the winged moon                              is    a  black  bird   in   the   blackest        cage /  baltic  a different  fraternity        of    land    with   the    same   pictorial      this   lovely  stillness   calling   it  work    a  flood   could  mean pernicious   is  blood               brewed   from  this climate           it   is   here  past Mandaue hillsides   dreaming                  if place were  rumored  as  same-silent.
0
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 7:45 AM UTC
You embody this
A. drone this day empirical from where we were once the we rained from, a high excursion which savvy the drop, weighing in, a fault trying to convince the day when Sun embellished from the ravine of your hand, a catacomb secured by the rolling of your body like a boulder keeping a minute sacred, christened an evinced noon that was your repetitive finding. onto a netted frame caught, dripping out of a felt space in need for graphs to measure from, a well unnamed which presence resembling your body, resounding the fluency of what the physical ascribes an iamb of a crowd inverted, diminishing and inflected in a day's livid sigh housed in a jar that is a mouth words assemble an ikebana willing a delayed color that was a lack. held a device that was a sky or a gleaming face with a high price claiming a solstitial -- when I went to your home it was Saturday all week inside my ribcage chiming worship. plastered to a sheen all is equal underneath equatorial tracing a sphere when I found stroking the innards of a calendar it is November. it is Saturday. B.    he   comes  from    low  wattage this  night's  post    a wonderful polyp    to   begin  a    blight    apparently  so from a cut blackest gutter          carrying an ample   water  virulent              when  taken  in  and   again   in     a  savingslight  of     metamorphosis        climbs   vertical   so  the winged moon                              is    a  black  bird   in   the   blackest        cage /  baltic  a different  fraternity        of    land    with   the    same   pictorial      this   lovely  stillness   calling   it  work    a  flood   could  mean pernicious   is  blood               brewed   from  this climate           it   is   here  past Mandaue hillsides   dreaming                  if place were  rumored  as  same-silent.
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50