Snow falls in mid february
You'd think like any other winter day but no..
It falls sharp
it falls fast
it hurts me
a sting as if my skin is being cut into and making me simultaneously hot and cold making sure i don't know which or how to feel about it
that's when i realize snow is not sweet and fluffy like the memories of your childhood pet laying against you under the summer sun or in a cozy home with the fire burning as she's tucked under her fleece blankets
snow is nothing but ice
sharp thick and dangerous like the chef knifes of infomercials that you'd watch because it's the adult thing to do
That you'd buy because it was the adult thing to have
days as these are when we realize reality is not your childhood memory
Reality is the grinch whos heart was 2 sizes to small because the heart shrinks as the mind and body grow
It is cooties turning into kisses
Kisses into ***
*** into broken hearts and tattered bodies
Reality is school going from learning colors and 123s to trigonometry and stressing to the point of suicide
Yet they yell words of compromise thinking you're no big deal
Whether your words are littoral or figuratively speaking
Yet don't they kinda go hand in hand
Reality It is from your worse problems being if you had a nightmare at five to living a nightmare not that of monsters under your bed but of the monsters in and out of your head
That make every step harder like they wanna build you up with lead
And making every hour longer adding sand mans sand to your eyes instead of your hourglass
Wishing you could just wipe the weary out of your vision because you aren't getting any more time
Everyday working schooling caring to death
Reality is like snow.
It's a memory from your childhood thinking it'll be light and fluffy
When it's really ice piercing your skin making you realizes that childhood memories stay that way for a reason
Stop please youre scaring me
The ***** in my arm wasnt self inflected
I dont know who did it
But i watch it run i feel the pain
Wait is that my arm?
These voices in my head
Ive heard them but buried them
Did i bury myself instead?
Just let me scream
I AM SCREAMING
but yOU ARENT HEARING
Im so cold
Is it hot. Its to dark to tell
Because is the you in the mirror
Or is you, me?
What the hell
WHO the hell am i suppose to be
Are you ashamed?
Of the lies that you told
The hearts that you broke
The dreams that you shattered
Of the hopes that you told
You and I were never the same
Never were you the better half of me
I watched it play
Like a movie screen
I was in the cinema watching this all time hit
The one with your hand raised
Such a good movie
It brought tears to my eyes
So sad and bittersweet
The ending itself was harsh
But then again when is life not
Life is real and true
But it is the saddest thing
Life hurts and kills
How can you even call it a life when you aren't living
To live is as cruel as the thought of having a life to “live”
Today I saw you
A smile, spread across my face
And still it hasn't gone away
Who knew that a few moments with someone
With anyone could make me so happy
My chest it hurts
My heart it's beating so fast
You took my breath away
The low sound of your voice
Your sweet smell
It all kills me inside
I cant hide it from you anymore
Is what you have become
roaring and chanting
foreign language all around
lost and cant be found
don't understand where i am
figures... It's highschool
You know that feeling?
That feeling where your heart hurts
And you wonder how?
How can this little 8 ounce ***** hurt?
Its mind boggling.
It kills me because i dont want this pain
I dont want to hurt
I want to feel nothing
And why dose your heart hurt when your happy?
Then it hurts even worse when youre sad
Or you feel nothing at all
I mean i was so happy today and just this pain...
It just grew and grew till the point where i had to grab my chest and breathe
The pain it took my breathe away
I know i just was with you but the way you act is so loving but then youre so cold
How can my heart race with joy but be stabbed with pain at the same time
Its killing me. Your love is slowly killing me
I am not beautiful
I dont see what that means to people
Wether its hair or eyes or looks
Whether its a personality
That beauty form dosent really count to me
Beauty is looking at those eyes not for the colors or the speckles
But for the story behind.
When you look into them and see there soul and can tell that their world is changing.
Beauty is looking at someone and noticing all the quirks that mean so much more.
Why is beautiful a word marked on boards and not in our hearts
You are beautiful if you survive thats what i love about you okay?