"gruelling" poems
Happy anniversary.
Can you believe
That it’s been a year?
I can still feel the first time,
Your hands danced on mine,
A soft presence, almost shy.
I could barely pay attention
To the film playing on television
Because there, right beside me,
A story was already unfolding,
One that was far more fascinating
Than any other mystery.
And it was.
Here we are, a year later,
The story continues to be
The most gruelling mystery
Of two people ceasing to be,
Of you & I never becoming we,
Instead, a strange, foreign word
To each other’s vocabulary.
I thought we both saw ourselves
In this picture perfect future:
Lying together on crumpled sheets,
Watching Sherlock on repeat,
Reading poetry and drinking coffee,
A state of being indescribably
Happy.
We were never meant to be that.
Only a manuscript tossed in the trash.
We loved too little, and bled too much,
Too proud to break the silence.
Too scared to end the sentence.
So let’s scrap the ending,
And go back to the beginning:
Happy anniversary.
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 12:18 PM UTC
i like to listen to the silence of the night
because beneath the deafening stillness
and gruelling vagueness that it holds are
the sound of your breathing that i sync with mine
the chuckles you make when i say a bad joke
the rustle of sweet words you mutter to my ear
the disarming roughness of your voice when you talk
i like to listen to the silence of the night
because its warmth is my brief escape from loneliness
and its noise is calm and inviting
and because for a moment, no matter how quick,
silence takes me to you
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 4:29 AM UTC
*What most call inspiration
To me
Is nothing more than a gruelling process
Of trial and error
And determination*
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 20, 2016 at 12:34 AM UTC
They once asked
If we looked forward
To trainings
Well I know
I do
On top of the
Cold regularity
That calms
On top of the countless
Hours endured
Under the sun
Like statues
There is one thing
I look forward
To
That is meeting
The lot of
You
Twice
A week
Two blessings
In five days
Of chaos
The seventh batch
The remaining five
Somehow
During those two
Or three
Hours of training
You guys somehow
Manage to take
All
That weight
Away
Introducing me
To new sound worlds
Teaching me
How to dance
Or just watching
And listening
To your amusing
Conversations
On all sorts of things
So
Open
Carefree
Not
Judgmental
No comparisons
And always
Each time
Each session
You'll never fail
To pull out
A genuine
Smile
Or
Laugh
From deep inside
This Abyss
One that cannot
Be contained
Or restrained
Or just simply
Watching the
Plain
Innocence
With all your kiddish
Knick-knacks
Just for a little while
It banishes
All that
Complexity
And through
All the gruelling camps
All the scoldings
All the punishments
The yelling
The pain
The standing
We still stuck through
You guys
May not know
How much it means
To me
To have such a platoon
Keeping me going
Through the tough times
When I really want
To give up
And give in
But just seeing
The five of us
Huddled together
In the smallest
Circle
Making small laughs
Small jokes
The complaints
The whining
It somehow makes things
Feel
Right
Pulling up that
Swinging end
Of the graph
Into a positive
Curve
At the end
Of the day
Aug 5, 2013
Aug 5, 2013 at 11:45 AM UTC
I feel somehow that they have mislabelled you
Perhaps just penned you in the wrong ink...
I'm not sure
It seems when I try to describe you, the idea goes sailing away and never anchors home
Slippery one might say...
As the man crawling out from beneath the wreckage of a rolled-over vehicle, slathered face to shins, in blood and *****
And the words that had beckoned to him
Now thoroughly lost...
Nothing more then a few gruelling moments in agony before it was just a memory and a phrase that didn't quite seem to fit...
Unreal. What did that word even mean?
It felt insulting.
As though the momentary terror that had consumed your reality was nothing more then a passing storm -- No more then a ghost or a Flying Dutchman...
But could the same not be said for it all?
Is any of this really what we came here for?
The choice alone is too much for me not to waste it and I fear if I leave it for too long that the choice will inevitably make itself...
But perhaps maybe that in turn is the choice
--The freedom to be or not...
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 11:46 AM UTC
They say live
live alone
straitlaced as an
arrow meant
for that
one gruelling
dot
Live for the
ambition
of the skies
and never the
gravity of
the ground.
I say
fall and rise
fire and air
swept in
torrents
up there
swinging
for burn or tide
downs.
I say create
and destroy
live still
and die all ways
change
and change
until time stops
its
crackle
and bustle
Every waking
day
Is both
a funeral and
a birth right
I say create
as we all
write our stories
amidst the
downpour of
life
and the ruins
in our heads.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 3:55 AM UTC
We creep through the forest carefully so as not to make a sound
The beast lifts it's enormous scaled head, looks left and right and goes back to its slumber
To his death are our fates bound
Confident that we'll slay him with a superior number
The thief flanks the beast to the right
The chevalier to the left
Together with 2 masters of elements we will eradicate this blight
With our weapons poised and ready to strike this beast we will best
The fight is long and gruelling with advantages going both ways
With horror I see my companions succumb to their fate
My friends sacrifices shall not go to waste
Only the beast's death will my wrath be slaked
Finally I see the beast flagging as I cast spell after spell
When suddenly I realized that my body has lost its power of motion
With a great big roar, a fatal blow I was dealt
Flaws in my abilities has the beast proven
I look at my hands and watch in horror as the lack of light signifies death
"Aargh" I screamed and the wife runs in looking at me with concern
"My controller's battery has died" I cry in distress
"And I forgot to save my game for the past 2 hours! There goes my progress totally burnt! "
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 8:23 AM UTC
Your promises of forever and love
Were not permanent with devotion entwined.
They were empty and fractured.
A freezing reality of my deep seeded submissiveness (a poison).
Believing you was the vicious rumbling of my foundations.
Ferocious rattling amidst the tornado winds tore me to pieces.
A silver lining, though, reveals itself through everything.
Sometimes directly after the fact,
But mine shone through years and months later.
I’m better for it.
Maybe because at the time I wasn’t succeeding at treading flood water.
Maybe my lungs were too full of thick, black water that you polluted and brewed within me.
Either way, the gruelling wait.
The heart breaking, tormenting, torturing wait was so worth it.
I am better for it.
At each second I feel your toxins seep from my veins, my bones, my skin and slowly sink back into the ground.
And the space is replaced with a magnitude of better things.
Freedom… love… myself…
Nov 3, 2021
Nov 3, 2021 at 7:43 AM UTC
***** my body
The needles thread through me
Pierce me Pierce me
I'm crying in thread
Inside I'm mostly dead
I knot inside
Shooting the needle down me
Slicing softly my skin bleeds
I'm aching on my knees
Help me help me
No one hears me
All I ever cry
Help me help me
The thread is twisting
No one's to blame
It's such a shame
After all the twisting
My thread is slowly ripping
Center in my arms
Give me more scars
Stabbing stabbing
Where's my mommy and daddy
They left me to bleed
They broke their seed
needles run inside
Laughing and breaking my sanity
I'm dying I'm dying
God help me I'm crying
The needles are physical
Not metaphorical
Bruise my skin
I let the craft win
What is it creating
I'm still awaiting
I think it's trash
My colors all clash
If you throw me away
Will it stop the gruelling pain
Please I beg
God please lay me to bed
I've had far too much thread
My blood is turning to lead
The needles crept in long ago
They put on a menacing show
I want to go home
But there's...no where to go
My needle can't be tied off
The thread only falls
Blood platters
My heart clatters
I'm left untied
God please you know how hard I've tried
Tie my thread off for good
Please, if you would
Stop the sew
End me and all that I know
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 2, 2019 at 2:52 AM UTC
Fathers are wonderful people
Too little understood,
And we do not sing their praises
As often as we should...
For, somehow, Father seems to be
The man who pays the bills,
While Mother binds up little hurts
And nurses all our ills...
And Father struggles daily
To live up to 'his image'
As protector and provider
And 'hero of the scrimmage'...
And perhaps that is the reason
We sometimes get the notion,
That Fathers are not subject
To the thing we call emotion,
But if you look inside Dad's heart,
Where no one else can see
You'll find he's sentimental
And as 'soft' as he can be...
But he's so busy every day
In the gruelling race of life,
He leaves the sentimental stuff
To his partner and his wife...
But Fathers are just wonderful
In a million different ways,
And they merit loving compliments
And accolades of praise,
For the only reason Dad aspires
To fortune and success
Is to make the family proud of him
And to bring them happiness...
And like Our Heavenly Father,
He's a guardian and a guide,
Someone that we can count on
To be always on our side.
(Helen Steiner Rice)
አባቶች ግሩም ሰዎች ናቸው
አባቶች ግሩም ሰዎች ናቸው ፣
ምንም እንኳ ባይታደሉም በደንብ የሚረዳቸው
የሚገባቸውን ምስጋና፣
በስፋት አልዘመርንም ገና!
ምክንያቱም አባታችን
የወጪያችን ሽፋን ሆኖ
ስለሚሳል በእይታችን፣
በአንፃሩ እናታችን
ሐኪም የቁስላችን
ለሷ ህመማችን ነው የጋራችን፡፡
ቆፍጣና፣ የተንከባካቢነት፣ የአስተዳዳሪነት
ብሎም የችግር ፍቺነት ተግባር
ለማስጠበቅ የሚጥር ዘወትር
ለዚህ ይሆን ምናልባት
አባቶች ተገዢ የማይመስሉን ለስሜት?
ግን የአባባን ልብ ብታዩት
ባትታደሉም ያን ለማየት
ታስተውሉ ነበር በውነት
ያቺን ቡብነት የሚያምሳትን
የልቡን ስሱነት!
በሥራ ከመጠመድ ነው
በዚህ አታካቹ ሩጫ የህይወት
ጉዳዮችን የስሜታዊነት
ለውሀ አጣጩ ለሚስቱ የሚተውላት!
ግን አባቶች በጣም ግሩሞች ናቸው
በሚሊዮን መንገድ
የፍቅር ምላሽ ምስጋና የሚገባቸው
ብቸኛው ምክንያት፣ አባባ ሁሌ የሚሯሯጠው
ቤተሰቡን ለማስደሰት ለማኩራት ነው
ልክ እንደሰማዩ አባታችንሁሌ ያለ ከጎናችን
ነው መከታችን
በሄለን ስቲነር ትርጉም ዓለም ኃይሉ
Jun 22, 2020
Jun 22, 2020 at 2:02 AM UTC
Fathers are wonderful people
Too little understood,
And we do not sing their praises
As often as we should...
For, somehow, Father seems to be
The man who pays the bills,
While Mother binds up little hurts
And nurses all our ills...
And Father struggles daily
To live up to 'his image'
As protector and provider
And 'hero of the scrimmage'...
And perhaps that is the reason
We sometimes get the notion,
That Fathers are not subject
To the thing we call emotion,
But if you look inside Dad's heart,
Where no one else can see
You'll find he's sentimental
And as 'soft' as he can be...
But he's so busy every day
In the gruelling race of life,
He leaves the sentimental stuff
To his partner and his wife...
But Fathers are just wonderful
In a million different ways,
And they merit loving compliments
And accolades of praise,
For the only reason Dad aspires
To fortune and success
Is to make the family proud of him
And to bring them happiness...
And like Our Heavenly Father,
He's a guardian and a guide,
Someone that we can count on
To be always on our side.
(Helen Steiner Rice)
አባቶች ግሩም ሰዎች ናቸው
አባቶች ግሩም ሰዎች ናቸው ፣
ምንም እንኳ ባይታደሉም በደንብ የሚረዳቸው
የሚገባቸውን ምስጋና፣
በስፋት አልዘመርንም ገና!
ምክንያቱም አባታችን
የወጪያችን ሽፋን ሆኖ
ስለሚሳል በእይታችን፣
በአንፃሩ እናታችን
ሐኪም የቁስላችን
ለሷ ህመማችን ነው የጋራችን፡፡
ቆፍጣና፣ የተንከባካቢነት፣ የአስተዳዳሪነት
ብሎም የችግር ፍቺነት ተግባር
ለማስጠበቅ የሚጥር ዘወትር
ለዚህ ይሆን ምናልባት
አባቶች ተገዢ የማይመስሉን ለስሜት
ግን የአባባን ልብ ብታዩት
ባትታደሉም ያን ለማየት
ታስተውሉ ነበር በውነት
ያቺን ቡብነት የሚያምሳትን
የልቡን ስሱነት!
በሥራ ከመጠመድ ነው
በዚህ አታካቹ ሩጫ የህይወት
ጉዳዮችን የስሜታዊነት
ለውሀ አጣጩ ለሚስቱ የሚተውላት!
ግን አባቶች በጣም ግሩሞች ናቸው
በሚሊዮን መንገድ
የፍቅር ምላሽ ምስጋና የሚገባቸው
ብቸኛው ምክንያት፣ አባባ ሁሌ የሚሯሯጠው
ቤተሰቡን ለማስደሰት ለማኩራት ነው
ልክ እንደሰማዩ አባታችን
ሁሌ ያለ ከጎናችን
ነው መከታችን
በሄለን ስቲነር ትርጉም ዓለም ኃይሉ
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016 at 6:34 AM UTC
Tears within, smiles without,
Time, a collection of the sorrow bout.
Lonely love, collective hate,
Quest for acceptance at a gruelling rate.
Misplaced affections, new-found flaws,
Conformity to absurd social laws.
Life will leave you alert and blind,
It will make you weep and blow your mind,
Because things that you will often find,
are better than those you left behind.
Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 1:02 PM UTC
I need a hero
A hero willing to enter my gruelling darkness searching for my lost soul.
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 5:52 PM UTC
Away from the chaos
I lit my cigarette and puff the smoke hard gruelling to recall your Potriat
that every bone is colliding in agony
turning into ashes
But I am unable to see your silhouette
I am piercing my innerself for you in this gloomy night,
but i am diving in the uncanny gallery
The pain is foreshadowing of the woeful
future
But now i am immobile
Grieving the lullably from the distant window
Hoping now i will shed tears
But emotions and heart are not synchronizing any longer
Even oasis can be a myth from near
But you are the essence precedes existence
Now I prefer evil over good
Evil has become my ally giving me morphine love
"You are no longer my addiction
My writing doesnt belong to you anymore".
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 12:56 PM UTC
Treasure is but a wanderer's lust
seeking utopia amongst the cosmic stars
it's year 2025, humanity's golden age of technology,
and a little white spaceship sets off to colonise Mars
nicknamed Nova 2, she boasts twin light-speed thrusters
polarised windscreens and a body of pure ceramite -
with a whoosh and a deafening bang
she smashes the sound barrier and streaks through the night
[#WHAM! BAM! FLASH!#]
at twenty-two hours they pass the moon
avoid a cluster of meteorite and space debris,
venturing deeper and deeper into the abyss of nothingness
their minds awestruck, their weary souls free
faced with a darkness that was un-shiftable, heavy
the danger of this mission increasingly daunting,
the longer they ignored their fears
the more the alien wilderness became haunting
what if they suddenly stopped dead
hit a snag or ran out of power?
They only had limited supplies
and the absent sun grew hotter and hotter by the hour
with the silence incessant
the sound of their own voices was obtrusive, grating,
food disgustingly vile, water going warm,
pressure steadily rising, there were concerns of the pilot fainting
--// "CALLING ELISA STARR TO THE CABIN PLEASE." //--
Elisa Starr was the cabin's dutiful cleaner
she'd clear away the astronauts ******* and occasionally mop up their sick -
for most of the crew had adapted to the lack of gravity
alas a few individuals hadn't been as quick
only 3 months in and the air had already grown stale
smelling of faint excretion and sweat,
aching and tired, she was always wiping down the interior windows
as the condensation steamed them up wet
what was the point in coming to space to slave away
when she could just do it on Earth;
once a valued member of society, a highly respectable mother of three,
surely this gruelling slavery she didn't deserve?
-//-----//-
The glowing red sphere of Mars approaches,
their destination finally (finally!) in range -
Earth was dying and this is a chance for us to start again
but isn't it already clear that we'll never change?
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 6:46 PM UTC
Loneliness is not a disease,
it's a choice,
a gruelling way of sad life.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014 at 6:16 AM UTC
Breakdowns come and go as easily as a swing being pushed by the wind. Vexing, gruelling, pilfering one's glee and peace.
ㅤ Hard to ignore. Impossible to run away: you feel. Breathless one is,
and tears stream.
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 4, 2019 at 9:13 PM UTC
Away from the chaos
I lit my cigarette and puff the smoke hard gruelling to recall your Potriat
that every bone is colliding in agony
turning into ashes
But I am unable to see your silhouette
I am piercing my innerself for you in this gloomy night,
but i am diving in the uncanny gallery
The pain is foreshadowing of the woeful
future
But now i am immobile
Grieving the lullably from the distant window
Hoping now i will shed tears
But emotions and heart are not synchronizing any longer
Even oasis can be a myth from near
But you are the essence precedes existence
Now I prefer evil over good
Evil has become my ally giving me morphine love
"You are no longer my addiction
My writing doesnt belong to you anymore".
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018 at 1:21 PM UTC
****** tie it theatre knot
Seductive lick it with tongue red hot
Desire the lust ages, cakes will rot
Sweat the sheets to clammy faceless knot
Gruelling physicality a god's revenge
Aphrodite wept in tears of stone rock
Previous encounters must be avenged
****** always creeps up to bow shock
Toes curl and fingers grapple at air.
Heave him over turned right way about
Grabbing for something solid, hair
The mouth wants to shout it out
Happiness sublime an easy win
It beats those that just stick it in
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 3:55 PM UTC
You cried to me
take me where the sea traces the sand
so I led you down the winding path
secluded, hypnotic, alluring
You closed your eyes
took a deep breath as if to physically take it all in
But you turned your back to the wonderland I cherished
This isn't what I seek you sighed in defeat
Show me the place where mountain tops reach the clouds
So I led you through the treacherous and gruelling terrain
You walked up to the edge and were mesmerized
Then you looked at me
You sighed yet again in defeat
My love I don't know what it is you long after
I've shown you the most glorious places I know
"But It's not what i must see
it's about what I must feel" you said to me
I didn't get it then
but now that you're gone
it all makes sense
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 11:36 PM UTC
Now It Clearly Is TRUE... !!!
That You Have To Be SHREWD...
In The Things You PURSUE... !!!
Because Many Will Take You...
Down DANGEROUS Routes... !!!
That Can Take You To Places...
Where You Can Get Traded...
By... Devious DUKES... !!!
So You Cannot Confuse...
The Things That You View...
As Being Cool Moves...
As Those That’ll Bear Fruits...
That’ll Make Your Life Cool...
Because Pursuing Money...
Makes People Act FUNNY... !!!
And Things Can Turn UGLY...
And Make You Feel BLUE... !!!
BEFORE You Get CLUES ...
That You’re Just Being USED...
By Guys Who AREN’T Buddies...
Like Those In The Game...
Where Fame Is What Makes...
These Heads Try To Play...
Your Pursuits Like Your Name...
Can Be Taken In Vain... !!!
Once They Have Been Paid...
At... EXTORTIONATE Rates... !!!
From Acting To Music...
Pursuits Can Be NEUTERED...
BEFORE They Take Shape... !!!
So DON’T You Be FOOLED...
By These Dudes Who Seem Cool...
And Women Who Will Choose...
To Be... QUICK To ABUSE...
When It Comes To Pursuits...
of Cash Flow That Is HUGE... !!!
You Should Know It’s Called LOOT...
Because Moves That Are Pulled...
Can Lead Some Heads To Shoot...
More Than Drug Addicts Do... !!!
Pursuits Can Be CRUEL...
And Be ARDUOUS Gruels... !!!
And I DON’T Mean The Food... !!!
What I’m Meaning Is Gruelling...
As In YES... HARD TO DO... !!!
Like It Is To Pursue...
Being One Who Is Viewed...
As A Gangster Whose Crew...
Will Put BULLETS IN YOU...
Just For Giving Bad Looks... !!!
That’s Right I Mean CROOKS...
Who Police Should Pursue...
Who DEFINE The Word CRUEL...
Who’ll Pursue Til’ Your END... !!!
If You Show DISRESPECT...
Or... EVER ATTEMPT...
To Take Money From Them...
These Are DANGEROUS Heads...
Yes Both Women And Men...
As Well As Some... Feds’... !!!!!!!!
Whose Pursuits Lead To Deaths...
And A Lot of NONSENSE... !!!
Like... Shooting For JOKES... ?!?
Cos’ They’re NOT Funny Folks...
Just Like Joe Pesci Quotes... !!!
So... What About Ho’s... ?!?
Now I DON’T Pursue Those... !!!
Cos They Leave Brothers BROKE...
Because of The Coc’...
That Some Want Up Their Nose...
Just Ask... Al Pacino... !!!
And That Is Not A JOKE... !!!
Now Pursuing Good Women...
Is What Can Bring Children...
And Family Living...
That’s Allied To GIVING...
And LOVING... NOT Killing... !!!
Pursuit of Religion...
Is NOT Far From Sinning...
So Don’t You Be Thinking...
That It Is... Forgiving... !!!
Pursue Your Own Lessons...
Before Your Confessing...
To Someone Whose Blessings...
Are... CLEARLY DEFECTIVE... !!!
Because Their Connected...
To... EVIL Collectives... !!!
Pursue BETTER Headings...
Than Those They’re Selecting... !!!
Which Leads To The Ending...
of This Mental Session...
of... Pursuing Letters...
That Give Good Directions...
As Well As Progressions...
To The Message It’s Sending... !!!
Which Has Left A Few Clues...
About Making SMART Moves...
That Simply... Say To You...
To Mostly PURSUE TRUTH... !!!
Because It’s GOOD To Do...
And Can Help You To FUEL...
... A Life That Is COOL... !!!
But DON'T You Be FOOLED...
There Are Dangerous Routes...
That Can Darken Your Mood...
As Well As Your... World View...
If You... Choose To REFUSE...
To Embrace Being SHREWD...
In The Things You.....
...... “ Pursue “.......
Sep 22, 2021
Sep 22, 2021 at 9:20 PM UTC
Living in a blur
Along this gruelling vigour
Fearing to finally cave,
Into this loud, obnoxious mediation in rave
Is it just me?
Or is there someone out there with the same plea?
Are we these poor souls adrift?
Craving for this languid plight to shift
Can you feel it igniting?
This seemingly endless longing,
Yearning for that pure and genuine bliss
To rise beyond this infernal abyss
Has it been too long?
Have you asked yourself what have you done wrong?
Although we have to believe that there’s an end
In the meantime put that mask on and pretend
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 9:32 AM UTC